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 english lass
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 2
Seeking advicePage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
no, i don't think so... i think she's being dense either on purpose or not, as to how this might be affecting you (or maybe she just really doesn't know how you feel)

tell her straight out that it upsets you too much to be friends with her right now and ask her not to contact you again... if she really does care for you as a friend she should respect that and leave you alone

if she keeps bugging you, then you'll know that she's not willing to respect the boundaries you feel are necessary, she might even be wanting to keep you around as a 'stop gap' just in case her new relationship doesn't work - which wouldn't be fair to you at all...in which case you might need to block her etc. to break off all contact so that you can move forward...

good luck
 riotfun
Joined: 7/27/2008
Msg: 7
Seeking advice
Posted: 1/15/2009 4:48:29 PM
3 months - Lady and you happily dating, or so you thought.


"i dont want 2 upset u but i want u 2 know i think u r a great guy. i like having u as a friend but i am seeing someone. (I felt like when dad died and cried) it is getting serious & i just couldn’t, Find the right words 2 tell u."


You all are not in high school I presume. Why may I even wonder such a thing...

I use text for small talk...hey hows it goin? Or Whats up sexy? Or See you at Crowleys, etc.

OR

I use it with a guy I don't know well and I don't feel like talking to him for very long.

I DON'T use text to break it to my boyfriend we're over and I'm seeing somone else for goodness sakes.

Thats the first issue. And you should NOT have texted back! This is sort of a big deal for you all. You are breaking up after three months and there is another man involved. Wouldn't you like to speak on the phone or better yet meet in person for some answers. You DESERVE it.

By what you said in your text you seem like a nice guy. It sounds like she took you for granted somewhat. By the text she sent back, yeah the one her still wanting to be friends it sounds like you are too nice of a guy. She can't have her cake and eat it too. She wants this new guy and your friendship. I don't think so! Really are you considering it...AND getting back with her in the future when and IF she is ready?

Dude, RESPECT AND TRUST. Two major components in a solid relationship. From what you've presented about the relationship neither one of those capped words are present. She does not understand either word. You seem to have an idea, why settle for someone who isn't on your level when it comes to...one more time for the hell of it...RESPECT AND TRUST.

People are going overboard with texting. It should be used for quick messages. Ex. Can't wait to smack u ltr 4 beein blind single411. ;)rf
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 12
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History
Seeking advice
Posted: 1/15/2009 5:46:08 PM
Most relationships that are going nowhere run there course in about 90 days. Somebody has to make a move at that point.
Sorry you got hurt.
 ladeyday
Joined: 6/18/2005
Msg: 18
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Seeking advice
Posted: 1/15/2009 8:16:49 PM
BlueLikeJazz is right on.

Good you ended it. Keep fishing; it's fine to wait for the reasonable and maintain your self-respect.
 mysteriosa
Joined: 5/19/2006
Msg: 19
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Seeking advice
Posted: 1/17/2009 7:47:29 PM
If you've been seeing her for three months, I think at the very least she should have warned you that she was seeing someone else. She should have spoken to you as well rather than breaking up by text message. Now, she's hoping you will stay her friend despite all this. She obviously likes you as a friend but not more. I don't think I could be her friend in those circumstances because of the deceit involved, but there are no rules and it's up to you what you want to do. It may be that if you stayed her friend, you would have a chance if this new relationship fizzled out. But it might only last until the next new relationship started. I don't think you can trust her. Don't you think you deserve someone who is going to put you first and not dump you like this? Think about whether you want her as a friend or not, rather than whether she wants you.
 Cogie36
Joined: 10/23/2008
Msg: 25
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Seeking advice
Posted: 1/18/2009 11:47:27 AM
Sounds to me like shes wanting her cake and eat it too.....she wants to keep you on the fence incase the other guy dosent work out......drama.....find someone who will want you for you.....not rebound because something different dosent work out....good luck!!!!!!!
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 30
Seeking advice
Posted: 1/19/2009 2:18:06 PM
In my opinion, your chances of getting back together are slim to none. If you stand any chance at all, I would think it would be by telling her you aren't interested in just being friends and then her go ponder that a while. I also would NOT call her. If she doesn't call you and tell you she wants to resume your relationship, forget about her. In the meantime, the best thing you can do is look for someone else. If you find someon else, it's your former gf's problem. I've tried and failed using the ok, whatever you want, approach often enough that I'll never do it again.
It's never succeeded in doing anything but prolonging the agony.
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