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Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  > whats wrong with me sheltering my son from my dateing      Home login  
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 freetime2bme
Joined: 1/16/2006
Msg: 14
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whats wrong with me sheltering my son from my dateingPage 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
I am still shaking my head at how many posters think someone they are dating has a bigger impact on their then a teacher, coach or any number of other men and women that they meet regularly. Do they home school them because they don't want them hurt when they would have to more on to a new teacher next year? Do they leave them off the swim team because the coach might move? No, but these people have as much or more impact then does a date. Having done over 20 years in the army saying good bye was something we learned to teach are kids and although never easy it is an important life leason. I think it would be strange to lock a kid away from the world, because you do not know if the persons they will meet might not be around tomorow, but it sounds like that is what some of the posters do.
 freetime2bme
Joined: 1/16/2006
Msg: 15
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whats wrong with me sheltering my son from my dateing
Posted: 1/21/2009 12:20:19 PM
What does it matter if a kid bonds with some on at school, on the swimm team, at church or at your home, what is the big differance? For my girls there is not one. They miss teachers or coaches as much as any one I have dated, that was my point. Also my point is they know how to deal with it. Your not wanting to date a military guy is cool lots of people find hard to do, just like lots of people find it hard to date a single parent.
 mzblueyedgirl66
Joined: 1/20/2008
Msg: 16
whats wrong with me sheltering my son from my dateing
Posted: 1/27/2009 4:55:16 PM
HI,
I am in the same boat. I have a 9 year old daughter who is very insistent that I DO NOT DATE... lol I absolutely refuse to involve her in my "personal" life. She will not be introduced until I feel the timing is right, well, for that matter, the guy has to be the right one. I have come across a few guys who just don't understand that at all.... Well, too freakin' bad. Stick to your guns on this one, you are in my opinion making the right decision about keeping your boy out of the situation. Oh and don't be shocked to find out that some men won't touch you with a ten foot poll because you DO have a child.. I am so sick of that one... Too bad for them.. Good Luck,

Christine..
 puffysong
Joined: 1/21/2009
Msg: 17
whats wrong with me sheltering my son from my dateing
Posted: 1/28/2009 7:51:16 AM
I totally agree with you. I have a daughter and she has knowledge that I have a "friend" but that is all. she will meet him when and if I think there is something there. I have to trust the person 100% before she meets him.
good for you!
 ChocolateNutt
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 18
whats wrong with me sheltering my son from my dateing
Posted: 1/28/2009 4:01:26 PM
Nothing is wrong with you sheltering your child from your dating. There are pros and cons to both keeping dating private and making dating a public part of your life. It's all about personal choice for you.

Keeping dating hidden can ensure that your child doesn't get hurt by a broken attachment to your date.

Making dating just an ordinary part of life teaches you child how to seek and have a normal, healthy relationship. You can point out that you need to get to know someone before you decide if he/she's the right person for you, that you need to choose qualities that are important for the other person to have, how you deal with conflict in a relationship, etc.

Either choice has good points to it. You can't pretend to your child forever, and you can't ensure that they are never hurt be a broken relationship--after all a good majority of single parents got that way because they were in a relationship that ended.

Nutt
 NinjaZX14
Joined: 7/7/2008
Msg: 19
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whats wrong with me sheltering my son from my dateing
Posted: 1/29/2009 6:05:11 PM
Well I am a man as you will see. I have to agree with you on this. I have an issue with my ex involving all the men. Some she just said to them they are just friends and she does nothing around the kids that would show differ (yea I believe this). But I don't they was just friends. But any way she now met a new one. After three months she involved him as boyfriend. She meant him online from Southbend, Indiana. He moved down here right after lives with mom and dad at the age of 36. He says he has a job or he told my son he is a flight instuctor for southwest. He told my son this because my son just told mom I was going to sign us up for pilot lessons. Sorry got off subject. I wish she would I say that is the right thing. I would respect any mother that would do this. Right now I have not slept, can not afford a lawyer to get my kids and as far as I know he is a child mulester fron Indiana. Oh he now tells my son he is a flight controler. But after he said he would give my son flight lessons the day he meet my son. Oh on more thing she also let my girl go with him alone and the my son went with him alone. So if any one is in legal and can help me with the papers to get my kids. I would owe you my life.

Also any mother be safe if you do not run a back ground check on the man you meet and subject him to your kids the father will have a 90% better chance to take them from you. She did not do this so I have a chance if I could afford a lawyer or get some help with the papers. I have a hard time reading and understanding and I don't want to mess this up I am scared for my kids.

Jim
 sara_nikki2406
Joined: 2/4/2007
Msg: 20
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whats wrong with me sheltering my son from my dateing
Posted: 1/29/2009 11:30:57 PM
OP...I agree with you 100%. I do the same thing, and I fully believe it's the best thing for the children! You're doing the right thing!
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