Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
Show ALL Forums  > humor  >      Home login  
Joined: 3/24/2009
Msg: 131
view profile
What are your favourite sayings?Page 5 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
When a friend asks what he/she owes you for a favor..

'We'll just charge it to the Dry & Bill it to the Dust!

Weather related...
Yeah! It's a drier, than a 99 year old whore!

Why just this mornin, there was a pair of rainbow trout a building
a nest in the trees.
Joined: 10/4/2009
Msg: 132
view profile
What are your favourite sayings?
Posted: 1/14/2010 8:32:30 AM
Another one from Steel Magnolias, "The nicest thing you can say about HER is that all her tatoos are spelled correctly..."
Joined: 10/4/2009
Msg: 133
view profile
What are your favourite sayings?
Posted: 1/14/2010 8:34:02 AM
Her idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance...

When I am Empress of the Universe...heads will roll!
Joined: 4/15/2006
Msg: 134
view profile
What are your favourite sayings?
Posted: 1/14/2010 1:17:13 PM
In response to someone who is whining about something not being fair:
Rocks are hard, water is wet, the sky is blue and life is unfair.

Similar to the brits use of get on with it:
Keep it moving

Also in response to whining about things being hard:
Suck it up buttercup it is what it is


MANUP or for the ladies GIRLUP
Joined: 1/21/2011
Msg: 137
view profile
What are your favourite sayings?
Posted: 6/26/2011 2:55:18 PM
A friend is some1 who tinks ur a good egg even tho ur cracked -------r slightly scrambled!!

U can't pee like a puppy if u run wit the big dogs!

Always do wot ur afraid 2 do!

Stand up 4 wot u believe in, even if u stand alone!

U remind me of a penny .... two faced & worthless!

"Perhaps they are not stars, but rather openings in heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy." - Eskimo ProverbSee More
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 141
view profile
What are your favourite sayings?
Posted: 6/26/2011 8:51:50 PM
If ya think I am bad, you aint see nothin yet.
Joined: 10/24/2008
Msg: 142
view profile
What are your favourite sayings?
Posted: 6/26/2011 9:33:28 PM
My profile headline..........

Cleaverly disguised as a responsible adult.

You!, out of the gene pool, NOW!
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 145
view profile
What are your favourite sayings?
Posted: 6/27/2011 4:07:09 AM
"Genuine Certificate of Authenticity Included with Every Order."
Joined: 6/15/2011
Msg: 149
What are your favourite sayings?
Posted: 6/29/2011 11:13:34 PM
To whiny people
-Wish in one hand shite in the other see which one fills up first.
-Put on your big girl panties and deal with it.

My dad's personal fave:
-Put a bag on her head and f*ck her for glory.

And the one that guided me into the world(literally, my dad was wearing it at my birth):
-Reach out and f*ck someone.

Another good one:
-It's kinda like masturbation, it may seem like a good idea at the time, but you'll find out you're just screwing yourself.

I heard this actual conversation between a guy and girl:
Girl: You will never find another girl like me in your whole life!
Guy: That's the whole point.

Sleep Talkin Man:
I'm not the one who told you to put earwax on your penis and call it snake warts.---don't know what it means but I love it.
Joined: 7/6/2008
Msg: 150
What are your favourite sayings?
Posted: 7/2/2011 4:00:03 PM
It's better to be gone but not forgotten than to be not gone but forgotten!
Joined: 4/18/2009
Msg: 153
view profile
What are your favourite sayings?
Posted: 7/7/2011 6:46:04 PM
Live life like a dog; if you cant eat it or screw it, piss on it and walk away.
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 155
view profile
What are your favourite sayings?
Posted: 7/12/2011 11:26:24 PM
Better to die laughing of lorlam post than die miserable because of no dates..
Joined: 10/11/2010
Msg: 161
What are your favourite sayings?
Posted: 8/15/2011 4:54:23 PM
*I'm not a're just a p***y!!
*Same fishy smell, differnet ****.
*Excuses are like mouths. We all have them and a lot of them suck.
*Religion is like having a penis. It' s nice to have one and it's fine to be proud of it just don't shove it in my face.
*If size dosen't matter, why do you never see 3" dildos in the porno store?
*Here 's something you never hear everyday, "Stop sucking my d**k or I'm calling the poliece." Probably the funniest thing george carlin ever said.
Joined: 6/3/2011
Msg: 163
What are your favourite sayings?
Posted: 8/16/2011 9:55:01 AM
I haven't read through all of these yet so my appologies if there's a repost:

"Don't take life so seriously, you'll never get out alive" -Van Wilder

Let me break it down for ya Crayola style, that means I'm gonna draw you a pretty picture. -me

"Recruiters are the apex of integrity in the United States Army" -Drill Sergeant when a new recruit said his recruiter lied

While waiting to take a urinalysis my Battalion Commander walked up and asked, "How is everyone doing today?" and I replied with, "winning like Charlie Sheen sir, that's why I'm takin' a drug test!"

"The world's two most abundant rescources are hydrogen and stupidity" -unknown origin

And for the whiners

"BREAKING NEWS!! The Pity Train has just derailed at the intersection of Suck It Up & Move On, and crashed into We All Have Problems, before coming to a complete stop at Get the Hell Over It. Any complaints, can be forwarded to 1-800-waa-wah with Dr. Sniffle Reporting LIVE from Quitchur ****in. Suck it up Buttercup, life doesn't revolve around you...!!!" -Friend's facebook post

"I wish all vaginas had a clear history button" -Friend's twitter page

"I always tell women, you better get yours before I get mine, it's a race." -My Platoon Sergeant

"I'll f*** start your face!" -A squad leader at a former unit

"I may be ugly but at least I aint got no money!" -ICP, Playa Haters Degree

"Running is like beating myself in the foot with a hammer, it feels so good when I stop" -One of my former soldiers

My First Sergeant: "Why are you late?"
Me: "I don't know, I could possibly be pregnant"

That's a horrible idea...let's do it! -Me
Joined: 6/3/2011
Msg: 165
What are your favourite sayings?
Posted: 8/17/2011 1:43:12 PM
"Free love, inquire here"

Written on HMMWV on the turret sheild right by the gun...
"PHOTO BOOTH: Look here, wait for flash"

"Don't test the water with both feet"

"If you don't chew Big Red, f*** you!"

"If a tree falls in the woods on a mime, does anyone care?"

"The Irish MP's are NOT after me Lucky Charms"

Reguarding tests or physical competitions:
"If you aint cheatin' you aint tryin'"

"Stop looking at me in that tone of voice!"
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 167
view profile
What are your favourite sayings?
Posted: 8/18/2011 12:35:14 AM
Tombstone humour... According to Billy Connolly, his headstone will read, in very tiny letters so you have to get close to read it, You're standin' on ma BALLS!!! Spike Milligan claimed to want 'I TOLD you I wasn't feeling well!!' on his headstone.

Groucho again... Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

My grandma (English) used to say 'The whole world's mad except me an' thee and I'm not so sure about thee'

Another old UK one, Yorkshire ore thereabouts, 'There's nowt so queer as folk!'
Joined: 7/27/2011
Msg: 168
What are your favourite sayings?
Posted: 8/18/2011 8:03:55 AM
Great one...lmao

"Pick yourself up, dust yourself off!"
Joined: 1/20/2011
Msg: 170
What are your favourite sayings?
Posted: 8/18/2011 5:47:25 PM
It's all shit and giggles to someone giggles and shits
Joined: 6/3/2011
Msg: 171
What are your favourite sayings?
Posted: 8/18/2011 9:23:33 PM
Heard one from a Marine earlier,
"Once a Marine always a Marine, so why re-enlist?"

My advice for hitting corners at the track on a motorcycle, step one is a quote from a pro racer friend of mine.
Step 1: Don't brake 'til you see Jesus
Step 2: Snap the bike into the turn so fast you see him walking on water
Step 3: Roll on the throttle until you see Moses parting the Red Sea
...Racing is a religeous experience

Q: Where are you going?
A: To hell if I don't change my ways but for now I'm going to lunch.

If you don't stand for something you'll fall for anything

Evil prevails when good men fail to stand

Man who stand on toilet is high on pot

Man who put chicken in freezer have frozen****br>
If at first you don't succeed, have a beer and let someone else do it.

Do it right the first time, call a professional.

If we get chased by a bear I don't have to be faster than it, I just have to be faster than you.

Ferrari, designed by a genius, built by craftsmen, driven by a twat.

Lambo doors, so played out Lambos don't even have them anymore.

I support PETA, People for the Eating of Tasty Animals.

Some people are right, some people are not right, as for me, I'm just wrong.

That's why I'm left, 'cause I aint right. If I was right I wouldn't be left.
Joined: 5/16/2011
Msg: 172
What are your favourite sayings?
Posted: 8/20/2011 10:40:24 AM
Oh,I have many. Some are funny . ("She/He's about as graceful as a cross-eyed elephant on a lop-sided skateboard!" ) and some just make me happy.One of my long-time favorites is " Life is not measured by the breaths we take,but by the moments that take our breath away." I also like "Never regret ANYTHING that made you smile." I think we all owe it to ourselves to find things that make us smile.........actively seek them out,and,when we find them,write them down & keep 'em handy!
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 174
What are your favourite sayings?
Posted: 8/21/2011 3:34:22 PM
My fav saying is friendship is like peeing on yourself, only you get the warm feeling it leaves and when its over your left with a big mess
Joined: 6/13/2010
Msg: 179
What are your favourite sayings?
Posted: 8/30/2011 1:40:02 PM
"Have no fear of perfection coz you'll never reach it!".
Joined: 2/1/2007
Msg: 180
view profile
What are your favourite sayings?
Posted: 9/1/2011 6:55:07 PM
"Cheese and Rice!" (in lieu of taking our Lord's name in vain, and safer around children)

Some call it "Happy Hour"... for me... it's group therapy!

Give me SOME credit, just because the bank won't...

I'm smarter than I look, y'know!
Joined: 8/18/2009
Msg: 184
What are your favourite sayings?
Posted: 9/20/2011 11:00:45 PM
"Stay thirsty my friends" ~The most interesting man in the world (Dos Equis guy)~
Joined: 9/22/2009
Msg: 186
view profile
What are your favourite sayings?
Posted: 9/22/2011 11:05:58 AM
"If you can't handle me at my worst, you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best": Marilyn Monroe

Seen on the rear of an SUV: "More wag, less bark"

If you can't laugh at yourself, find someone else to laugh at.
Show ALL Forums  > humor  >