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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?      Home login  
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 ironman33
Joined: 1/5/2009
Msg: 101
why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?Page 5 of 19    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19)
Maybe its just me but if i was in relationship I would not be able to stay with her if she started to make internet guy friends and meeting them in real life as friends. At same time I'm all for her having friends that she had before i met her (men or women). I would never stop her from talking to guy friends as long as she knew them before i met her.

It's just that from my own experience ( i seen it happen with my friends, coworkers, school friends, gym friends) that whenever person is in relationship and they meet new opposite sex friends online it always leads to cheating or at least there was intent.

At same time im open minded and i would never tell anyone how to live their life. So if the person is ok with their gf/bf having new opposite sex friends online then good for them. As for me i would never put up with it, specialy if they were online every day talking to them. For me there is a problem if the person has real world friends, real world bf/gf, job, hobbies, and yet they feel the need to have internet oppisite sex friends.

Over time i have made few internet buddies (bodybuilding forums) but they were all males and we might talk once a week when both of us would be on a forum.

To each its own!
 Jewells1951
Joined: 8/1/2008
Msg: 102
why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 1/28/2009 8:49:20 AM
I'am starting to believe that people that stay on a dating site and continue talking to others after the relationship seems to be going further is damaging in the relationship their. I just had my heart broken after dating someone for five months. We had alot incommon, hiking, music, cooking together and many other things. One morning after we had spent the night together, he tells me he had been chatting with a woman that lives three hrs. away. This man treated me as if our relationship was the best. If more would stay off chatting with others and give a relatioshp a chance , they might be off here and start enjoying their lives. My husband died two yrs. ago was very hard and I'm finding starting over is just as hurtfull. If two people are into each other than get off. Thanks for listening. Just Venting.........Take Care My Friends.......Sandy
 shitzngigs
Joined: 11/13/2008
Msg: 103
why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 1/28/2009 9:19:12 AM
I stay on here for the forums, and thats about it!

I have just started dating some one from on here, and I have completely hidden my profile, and he has changed his to be seeking friends! I am ok with that for the time being, as things progress and if they look to be getting pretty serious I may end up deleting my profile completely and I know he will do the same!
 BigDaddyJinx
Joined: 11/4/2006
Msg: 104
view profile
History
why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 2/4/2009 2:10:56 PM

As I just posted on another thread.. I am here because I found out my boyfriend of nearly two years joined this site about 6 months ago.. Believe me, its been soul searching for me and has really hurt my feelings.. He will not leave the site and so I have joined to see what all the fuss is about.. I have to admit, i told him its pof or me.. he chose pof! he sure knows how to the spoil the woman hes meant to love!!! what a rat!!!

Most men will take the "or else" if an ultimatum is dropped. I know I woulda done the same thing. Life's far too short to tolerate any "Me or them" crap.
 jm0405
Joined: 7/7/2008
Msg: 105
why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 2/4/2009 2:17:12 PM
If I were with someone, I would probably leave my profile up but change the status and the words to taken - not dating - not available - but stay on to read the soap opera on the forums.

Would it destroy a relationship for me? I don't think so because anybody that knows me knows I give 100% to my significant other, no games, no lies, no deception and Hades would freeze over before he read about himself in a negative light on these threads/forums.

It's not that people are looking for something better. You simply cannot be with a person 24 hours a day so why not catch up and read the forums/threads. No harm in that. Harm only comes if you keep looking for a "back-up plan" in case the current one isn't working out for you. If you keep it open, honest and communicate your intentions with your partner, I don't see a problem with staying on a site.
 jm0405
Joined: 7/7/2008
Msg: 106
why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 2/4/2009 2:18:15 PM
Also, you don't have to be on a site with the idea that you want to date someone....nothing wrong with chatting on the forums. To do so, you have to have a profile. So you need to change it to reflect your intentions.
 SavannahNow
Joined: 11/26/2008
Msg: 107
why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 2/4/2009 2:20:02 PM
If you've caught the big one, why keep your rod in the water?
 sweet_n_heart
Joined: 1/31/2007
Msg: 108
why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 2/4/2009 2:24:48 PM
If you truely trust each other, then there's nothing wrong with making friends on here, i mean doesn't have to go beyond the computer screen and nothing wrong also to go on the forums.
 thesilverdevil97
Joined: 8/8/2008
Msg: 109
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History
why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 2/4/2009 4:31:41 PM
Because we like the forums? I find them endlessly entertaining. And also, when you are getting more involved you can keep your perspective if you see what is out there. That doesn’t mean you are looking or hooking up, it just means you keep your head where it belongs and don’t end up thinking, “this is the only guy for you” or “there is no one out there for me”. Keeps you from slipping into a mindset where you look needy in the early stages of a relationship.

That is what I use it for. I will give you an update when I hit the year mark with my special friend as to what I think.
 sunshine 09
Joined: 1/22/2009
Msg: 110
why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 2/4/2009 4:51:36 PM
To read the forms of course . that dose not mean they are looking for some one else.
Sunshine 09
 ~Bugs Ear~
Joined: 8/19/2008
Msg: 111
why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 2/4/2009 6:04:19 PM
POF forums are a combination of the Comedy Channel, any one of the daytime soaps, Married with Children, Survivor, Sex and the City and a dash of Outer Limits all rolled into one. Who can resist?
 jez4u
Joined: 9/25/2008
Msg: 112
why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 2/4/2009 6:12:35 PM
If meeting Mr. or Mrs. Right and if they continue to stay on POF to me they are not on the same page. If I have an interest I would leave the site and except the same from him. Also, I think after awhile some view these site's as a Candy Store and like to continue shopping. If that is the case than it time to move on and let him continue to shop!
 soulman09
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 113
why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 2/4/2009 9:59:22 PM
well it depends what your question means exactly.in your title u say 'why do people stay on pof after meeting someone?'
depends on your definition of meeting someone.
when i meet a women on here and if we start dating and we both feel that its getting serious and exclusive then ya sure i would completely take myself out of this site if she does the same also.
but if u just meet someone on here and go on 1 date or 2 and u have no idea where its going or how the person feels about u yet u have no garantees of nothing so why would a person take theyre profile out of here that quick?
maybe like 17 years ago when i was younger and more naive like evryone was when they were younger and starting to date i might have jump the gun that quick but over the years ive learned better.
im totally for taking the profiles off the site when things are getting serious and when u know how both of yas feel about each others.but until u stil have no idea how the other person feels about u there is no reason to.cause lets face it u could be taking your profile out after 2 dates thinking that they like u as much as u like them and then find out in a week that they were still looking around and found someone else.how smart would u feel then?
if a person wonders how long before it would be appropriate to take theyre profiles off i think its a question of common sense and decency.If u really like someone a lot and they feel the same about u and u want to date seriously each others then both profiles should be taken off.
 cokeandjack
Joined: 1/17/2009
Msg: 114
why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 2/5/2009 1:23:15 AM
I dont think its because he wants to see who else is out there? but more like who else is finding him (her) attractive. Its all about feeling noticed. If i were to really fall in love. I wouldnt give anyone else the time of day. That is called "trust" but not everyone finds that in relationships anymore. I will be honest i have trouble finding it in myself at times but only because of all the disapiontments relationships come with . It takes alot for me to also trust others. My oppinion is when you least exspect it, it will happen. In the meantime look at all the positive things you have to offer and soround yourself with people who love you. Okay now i will shut up. Go out drinks on me!!!
 showpony
Joined: 2/4/2008
Msg: 115
why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 2/5/2009 5:51:09 AM
I asked this question just a few weeks back & I was informed that "he" checks his profile to see "who" has viewed him & thinks he is hot,

Think that is classic
 jm0405
Joined: 7/7/2008
Msg: 116
why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 2/5/2009 5:55:39 AM
I am a forum junkie!!! Actually, my attitude is this: If I am the end of all ends, then he will be on here for forum conversation and he wouldn't step out. If we are a mismatched pair, don't belong then he can leave me or cheat on me here, Match.com, in a bar, in a grocery store, etc. It really depends on the relationship itself and what you mean to each other more than anything.
 barbee1970
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 117
why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 2/5/2009 6:10:05 AM
I haven't really started exclusively dating, but if I was seeing someone, I wouldn't browse the site. I love the forums but I feel like if I stayed it might ruin things. I would say maybe it's the forums. They're addictive.
 ncessential
Joined: 8/23/2008
Msg: 118
why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 2/5/2009 6:12:01 AM
That is a good question. If I found someone who I was really into. I would talk to them about POF. To see if I was going to stay on it or not. I post alot on forums. I guess it would need a discussion between the both of us.
 bamaangel642002
Joined: 7/16/2007
Msg: 119
view profile
History
why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 2/5/2009 9:03:17 AM
i stay on here for the forums.thay are very adactive.i love the forums.my b.f.stayes on for friends he has made.we both have on our profiles not single not looking.i am sure not on here looking for anyone else.i am very happy with who i have.
 Jenyadee
Joined: 3/12/2008
Msg: 120
why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 2/5/2009 9:07:25 AM
I think this becomes very addictive for many...sadly. If I found someone, delete, PERIOD, if he was unwilling to do the same I would feel he wasnt that serious and probably let him go. My reason for being on here is to increase my chances of finding companionship. I would hope if I did we could get of the fricken computer and be out taking a walk together instead of surfing on here. LOL
 faith,hope,love
Joined: 9/26/2008
Msg: 121
why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 2/5/2009 9:10:54 AM
I'm here for the forums, and will likely still be here after (or if) I start seeing someone. Who couldn't love this circus?
 RallyDog
Joined: 1/22/2009
Msg: 122
why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 2/5/2009 9:39:02 AM
I met someone on POF while ago too. We started dating. Undiscussed she deleted her profile, undiscussed I deleted my profile; however, we did discuss after the fact. I am in a 12-step program for the "relationship challenged", maybe most guys should be enrolled - lol. First step is recognizing relationships are important and that you are helplessly, hopelessly, clueless; second step is searching POF forums for deep answers to unanswerable questions. The Forum has all the relationship answers to all the relationship questions. Unfortunately, it takes considerable effort to determine the correct course from among the mass of postings applicable to your particular circumstance. Can't post on the forums if you are not registered so I have a hidden profile that clear states my intentions on POF. Not every coupled man is seeking a by-catch on POF. Serious.
 lookinatit
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 123
why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 2/5/2009 9:48:32 AM
Relationship or not, I'd stay on POF and update my profile accordingly. Lately, the forums are the best thing about this site. They're, interesting, humorous, and sometimes maybe a little bit educational. I look at them every day. There it is. I admit it. My nane is lookinatit and I'm a FORUM JUNKIE!
 Rubee1
Joined: 6/20/2008
Msg: 124
why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 2/5/2009 11:27:42 AM
hhhmmm...so maybe the owner of this site should add an additional forum like...."no longer fishing , just swimming with friends"
 lookinatit
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 125
why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 2/5/2009 11:44:07 AM
That's not such a bad idea.
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