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 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 298
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why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?Page 6 of 19    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19)

Actually, a coworker installed on in his wife's car because he suspected somthing. He tracked her down at her lover's house - when he knocked on the door, she called him an a$$hole for tracking her - go figure.

Unless she met him on a dating/forum site.....
this just screams
"My case is week and I have no real argument."

(btw, it's "weak" ...not "week")

Some people cheat......some people don't.
Those that do.......will find someone to cheat with anywhere possible.
Reminds me of a lady I worked with.....her husband would not let her go out to a bar with the girls because she might find someone to cheat with....when all along, she was cheating with a man she worked with!

There are many of us that use these forums for "recreational" purposes ......and have never cheated or even come close to it. Being here while in a relationship no more makes someone a cheater than sitting in a garage makes you a car!
 Red Fish GF
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 299
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why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 6/28/2011 10:51:32 AM
msmicki

Some people cheat......some people don't.
Those that do.......will find someone to cheat with anywhere possible.
Reminds me of a lady I worked with.....her husband would not let her go out to a bar with the girls because she might find someone to cheat with....when all along, she was cheating with a man she worked with!

There are many of us that use these forums for "recreational" purposes ......and have never cheated or even come close to it. Being here while in a relationship no more makes someone a cheater than sitting in a garage makes you a car!




Recently my SO was out of town and my married friend wanted to have a girls night out. It was a weekend I didn't have my kids and I was free to go. Her husband had partied too much the night before so he was staying home. I told my SO and he was glad I was getting out which I hadn't done in a long time and he was not in the least bit worried I would cheat. I even told him about how a drunk friend came on to me and tried to kiss me. This was outside the bar while his gf was using the bathroom. This is a person I wouldn't trust so I could never have a relationship with someone like that. My SO when we were first dating offered to pay for a girls night out for me when I was stressed. We trust each other and know having profiles on here is just for the forums.



If someone is going to cheat they will find a way. I enjoy participating in the forums and don't think just because I'm in a relationship I need to stop. In fact, I joined after I was exclusive with my boyfriend to post on his thread.
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 300
why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 6/28/2011 2:17:32 PM
I've been involved since October 2007. He's still on, with his original profile, not even modified to say not single/not looking. Although the last time he logged in was November of that year, to get a rose I sent. My profile spells out *very* clearly that I'm involved and not on the market. I pretty much feel free to ignore those that can't read or don't. I've hidden my profile, and unhidden it. It's unhidden now because *I* hate having to sign in to look at other forumites profiles, lol!, so making it easier for others.

Guess I feel sad for those who are SO certain that anyone remaining on after hooking up is still looking. And wonder why one would want to get involved with someone they didn't trust further than that? Surveillance isn't going to keep a mate from cheating. But neither is trust going to *cause* it. My last hubby was extremely jealous and watching, but HE was the one who had the affair, not me. So maybe we only see in others what OUR potential is?

 sex_cee_bbw
Joined: 4/10/2011
Msg: 301
why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 6/28/2011 8:26:28 PM
have the same problem, makes you wonder if he is dating multiple women on this site.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 302
why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 6/28/2011 9:03:20 PM

Guess I feel sad for those who are SO certain that anyone remaining on after hooking up is still looking. And wonder why one would want to get involved with someone they didn't trust further than that? Surveillance isn't going to keep a mate from cheating. But neither is trust going to *cause* it.

So true. I just don't understand people that think things are always "covert" in some way.

~OT~ Cheaters don't need the net ~ they just need a willing participant in the action. The net didn't create cheating. And dear me, when did it become an ego-boost to sit on the computer staring at strangers posting their opinions and questions and stuff? I don't recall EVER getting a "Wow, I feel so good about me." after posting in forums here and I don't recall feeling that about receiving email either. That ideology seriously baffles me. My SO knows where I sleep at night (since we live in the same house) and when we did live apart? He certainly was NOT worried about me being on POF. Had he been? We'd not be living in the same house. I REFUSE to do suspicious and/or jealous. But, to each their own. JMO
 BigBadNIrish
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 304
why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 6/29/2011 6:39:25 PM

This will be my last exchange with you due to you being more interested in personal insulting potshots.Good luck and have a happy life.



Ahhhh...the drama of it all...a discussion...and someone forget's...it's just a friggin discussion..n gets offended...for no real reason...sigh...which proves the point (not that it really proves any point)...why hang here...other than the drama...if you've gotta real life????
 letsworkasacouple
Joined: 1/13/2012
Msg: 312
why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 2/1/2012 3:53:55 PM
well not matter what site your on,you should talk it over with the person before you go
to far,and ask what they would do stay on or leave sites

to me i think you should leave all dating sites if you have dated the same person
for more than a couple of mouths.

or if your keeping profile a live you should put there pic on with yours and change
the wording of profile that your a couple now and a loud the other person to read all your messages. in and out going.
 wtyl
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 313
why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 2/2/2012 10:45:43 AM
Does everyone get the 'helpful' articles when you log off of PoF?

It seems like one very common piece of advice in the articles is 'keep dating a variety of people'.

Which in PoF context is 'keep that profile active'!
 rec_diver
Joined: 11/13/2011
Msg: 314
why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 2/2/2012 3:36:01 PM

domo31:
Im staying on until Im engaged. If that ever happens. Because until engagement nothing is really serious. Thats just reality.


No, it's not reality to think that engagement, or even marriage is "serious" at least to the extent that you seem to think it is.

Almost 60% of first marriages fail, second marriages fail at rates over and above that, infidelity is rampant in over half of marriages.. and engagements are routinely broken before there's ever an exchange of useless, meaningless vows.

Don't kid yourself.
 Pinayto
Joined: 2/5/2011
Msg: 315
why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 2/2/2012 3:36:33 PM
well, why do you think that AFTER just 1 meet that person is THE 1? I don't mind if I got on first meets on guys I met here and they are still on pof. Unless, we decided to be exclusive to each other and that's definitely after several dates, then it is definitely time to say bye bye to dating sites.
 meeshelli
Joined: 12/30/2011
Msg: 317
why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 2/3/2012 9:22:18 PM
I am on here for the forums as well, actually I changed my profile to friends and is not looking for a relationship of any kind.. I also have friends that we message back and forth..
 icefishingrl
Joined: 1/8/2012
Msg: 318
why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 2/4/2012 12:27:51 PM
Whoa, how about a little respect for peoples' values, even when they're not shared by you, 'wannabe Alpha guy. ' ( rec_diver)

These days it seems like it's only 'politically correct' to trash peoples' morals and principles. I have read sex related posts on here that nearly made me puke, yet there were three or four posters who defended the poster's right to his sexual proclivities...

I used to find you entertaining and even humorous, the last few posts I read that were attributed to you have been over the top' mean spirited.
 largo2
Joined: 12/13/2011
Msg: 319
why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 2/4/2012 12:45:17 PM
Just to clarify, 60% of first marriages do not end in divorce. Please check your facts before spewing.
 ssteffie
Joined: 1/18/2010
Msg: 320
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why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 2/4/2012 7:57:55 PM
Agree with you entirely....some people are addicted to sites....possibly looking for someone better and cannot see what they have already! Iits a vicious circle, cant understand it myself....surely sites serve a purpose....not a need?
 trh1268
Joined: 2/26/2007
Msg: 321
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why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 2/4/2012 9:40:44 PM
Why do women, not people, if that's what you meant, because they like interviewing other canidates instead of giving a guy another chance. They like to hold 4 ACES in the hole, they don't have the heart to play the game of CHANCE with ''nice guys''. Gals are so worried guys will beat them with a straight flush over 4 ACES.
 Pinky127
Joined: 1/7/2012
Msg: 323
why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 2/4/2012 10:51:04 PM
I haven't read the 18 pages but im sure its been mentioned many times that a LOT of people are just here for the Forums and are certainly NOT looking to meet anyone behind their partners' back.

Usually they're upfront about this on their profile but it still doesnt stop the emails and abuse coming in
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 324
why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 2/5/2012 7:52:07 AM
They stay on here for the forums, & it's a social networking site. I have a female friend on here, we email each other almost everyday, I love the contact w/her, we've become close internet friends. I wouldn't give that up, even if I became exclusive, I'd still be on here to talk to her & to be on the forums.
 glassboro2012
Joined: 10/3/2012
Msg: 325
why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 10/21/2012 3:46:22 AM
I think rationalizing staying on POF after having met someone and being in a relationship with them is BS. If you are in a 'relationship" with someone and still on POF, then you arent committed and want to keep your options open. If you have made real friends on POF, it would make more sense to give them your email address and/or phone number. Maybe it is a need for attention.
 DempseySR32
Joined: 8/20/2012
Msg: 326
why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 10/21/2012 3:44:43 PM
People stay on here to to find a better deal than they have already. They are keeping their options open. If you're dating someone especially a woman and she's still on here don't expect to keep her around for long. The grass is always greener.
 Goldylocs631
Joined: 12/7/2013
Msg: 327
why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 7/31/2014 5:15:47 PM
If you are still looking for the TRPOHY then you are not serious about the one you are seeing!
 Goldylocs631
Joined: 12/7/2013
Msg: 328
why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 7/31/2014 5:18:35 PM
As a women, how do u meet women on here?
 RandyB1965
Joined: 11/19/2010
Msg: 329
why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 7/27/2015 11:29:36 AM
Bang on uneverknow71!! We can all chose to do whatever we so wish and justify it however we so wish but the bottom line is as you said, "it's like continuing to go out to bars by yourself just for the attention and then saying it doesn't mean anything...it's a dating site, not a friendship site"
Cheers bud!
 Ladyinred4755
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 330
why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 7/27/2015 11:49:06 AM

.it's a dating site, not a friendship site"

LOL, Yes and no.
There ARE regular Forum contributors who came here single and yet remain after finding their BF/GF, SO, or even husband or wife. What they do or do not do behind the scenes is none of our business.
I choose to believe they are happy, I know I am, and I can only speak for myself, I have my profile hidden. Even if my profile was not hidden, I clearly state and show from my profile that I am happily IN a relationship.

While posting/replying/conversing in the POF Forums, a person can ask questions, answer questions, post recipes, tell jokes, debate current events, compliment fellow POF users, (and slam them, Grrrrr) and often along the way, find a "friend" or two or three.
To assume otherwise?????
Says more about the one assuming, than the assumed.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 331
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why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 7/27/2015 2:06:55 PM

"it's like continuing to go out to bars by yourself just for the attention and then saying it doesn't mean anything...it's a dating site, not a friendship site"

I agree. As said above me though, the exception is the Forums, and throwing in the Not Single / Not Looking option. But the forums is a separate site tied to POF where you're not finding someone thru the dating search engine that's 99.999% of the site altogether. If one's using the actual site (requires a separate login/re-login) to find-a-companion, it's a dating site, not a platonic site (although you could end UP having that as a by-product of its use; much the same as you don't go to India to find lettuce, although you could happen upon lettuce while you're out there for the real purposes of being there)
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 332
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why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 7/28/2015 6:40:21 PM
Personally, I'll probably stay on POF the rest of my life, if just for the forums. I love spreading a little venom in here every once in a while.........
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