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Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > Living with mother over 30? Would it make me Untouchable?      Home login  
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 arcticdude
Joined: 10/4/2008
Msg: 26
Living with mother over 30? Would it make me Untouchable?Page 2 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

Should i let my mum live lonely and unloved in her twilight years


What? So those are the only
two choices?
1)Live with your mum and she'll be loved and un-lonely.
2) Don't live with mum and she'll be unloved and lonely.

Wow...if those are the only two possible scenarios you allow, then I guess there's only one real choice.

Sounds like a lack of imagination going on here...
 arcticdude
Joined: 10/4/2008
Msg: 27
Living with mother over 30? Would it make me Untouchable?
Posted: 2/20/2009 9:25:26 PM
1)Live with your mum and she'll be loved and un-lonely.
2) Don't live with mum and she'll be unloved and lonely.

Well, looks like imagination is on holiday, so I'll help out a bit here...

3) Don't live with mum, but visit regularly so that she feels loved and un-lonely
4) Buy mum a cat.
5) Tell mum to let out a room and get a flatmate.
6) How's mum going to get a new boyfriend with her kid underfoot?!?...

I must have missed it, but I didn't read anywhere that 'mum' was in need of a nursing home...only that she was PERHAPS feeling lonely and unloved...Nursing home never crossed my mind as a solution for feeling 'unloved'
 arcticdude
Joined: 10/4/2008
Msg: 28
Living with mother over 30? Would it make me Untouchable?
Posted: 2/21/2009 8:03:58 AM
Testing...one...two...three...'tap,tap'...is this thing on?!?
 kickingfate
Joined: 9/10/2005
Msg: 29
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Living with mother over 30? Would it make me Untouchable?
Posted: 2/25/2009 10:08:14 AM
In my books OP, if the woman you meet is utterly that shallow and she cannot understand your reasons for living with your mom...then shes not worth even a second of consideration more, you would be better served walking away and holding your middle finger up for her to see.. sounds very bitter but i am a staunch believer that you take care of your parent(s) when they need it.

I am in a position myself of possibly having to move back home with my mom..shes been living alone as a widow for almost 20 years now and her health and memory is getting worse. The home she is in was built by my great great grandfather and has been in the family since he built it, so as her health gets worse she will need assistance and its the least i could do for someone who took care of me and sacrificed for me w/o complaint...ever. Allowing her to live her life out in that home is the least i could do.

After 23 years living on my own am i going to like the idea of moving back home...not 100%..but i will have a sitting room/office to myself and my bedroom so i will at least have some privacy.
 kickingfate
Joined: 9/10/2005
Msg: 30
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Living with mother over 30? Would it make me Untouchable?
Posted: 2/26/2009 4:02:59 AM

I met a lovely chiropractor once--but he lived with his mom. I never went out with him again.


if that was the only thing you had against him, i think he was the winner in that situation IMHO. Unless there was more behind it, but your statement makes you sound pretty shallow TBH.
 hottubguy
Joined: 7/21/2006
Msg: 31
Living with mother over 30? Would it make me Untouchable?
Posted: 3/1/2009 8:00:28 AM
Please don't let these women blow smoke up your _____! No matter how noble your reason for living at home, it WILL make you untouchable with the majority of desireable women in your age range.

I've dated plenty of women who have told me straight up that guys living at home is a deal-breaker. Maybe you could move closer by to your mom, or maintain dual residence? Good luck to you!
 ImAHotMess
Joined: 7/11/2008
Msg: 32
30 year old kids living with me? Would it make him Untouchable?
Posted: 3/9/2009 7:48:58 AM
I firmly believe people really should be on their own and know how to handle responsibilities at this age. I would work 2 jobs before I ever moved back in with my parents, period. I would certainly take care of them if they were bed ridden and had some SERIOUS medical issues, I would also make sure I had proper help as well. People who shack up with mom and dad that I have found generally have issues making it in the real world, since it is a real **** making rent, paying bills and staying afloat. My parents did a wonderful job raising myself and my siblings. They deserve a life of their own now. They do not need to be raising kids until they are dead. Enjoying yes. If I can make enough to pay my rent and bills alone, so can anyone else. Excuses suck, but some people have PLENTY of them.
 RobertKoi
Joined: 11/9/2008
Msg: 33
30 year old kids living with me? Would it make him Untouchable?
Posted: 3/9/2009 9:28:19 AM
"I firmly believe people really should be on their own and know how to handle responsibilities at this age. I would work 2 jobs before I ever moved back in with my parents, period. I would certainly take care of them if they were bed ridden and had some SERIOUS medical issues, I would also make sure I had proper help as well. People who shack up with mom and dad that I have found generally have issues making it in the real world, since it is a real **** making rent, paying bills and staying afloat. My parents did a wonderful job raising myself and my siblings. They deserve a life of their own now. They do not need to be raising kids until they are dead. Enjoying yes. If I can make enough to pay my rent and bills alone, so can anyone else. Excuses suck, but some people have PLENTY of them."
--------
Tell that to the masses who lose and will lose their jobs the next couple of years.
 Annielikeslyrics
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 34
Living with mother over 30? Would it make me Untouchable?
Posted: 3/9/2009 8:58:26 PM
Nightman,

Just my humble opinion here...but what would you want with a woman that doesn't have enough respect for family to understand your situation? If what you want is a woman to settle down with and raise a family with - then you will find someone who gets it. Now, I'm not saying you should bring her home to meet mom on the first date...but thats just because my mom is scary and she would scare away a date. LOL. Anyways, it might be the best screening tool ever.
 ImAHotMess
Joined: 7/11/2008
Msg: 35
30 year old kids living with me? Would it make him Untouchable?
Posted: 3/11/2009 10:53:29 AM
That is why I always prepare myself for things. Save money, life affordably. A lot of people do lose jobs, etc, and live way beyond their means in the process. I will always work, even if it is a place that is not my career or desire. There is always a way to survive. :)
 Mikikal
Joined: 3/10/2008
Msg: 36
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30 year old kids living with me? Would it make him Untouchable?
Posted: 3/12/2009 5:24:38 AM
I think you have your answer from most people on here.
Family is important. Always has been and always will be.

I spend a lot of time looking after my nan who's registered blind and I would never neglect her for a relationship. How you deal with your family life is what defines you as a person I think.

I moved away from home when I was young and lived in Bristol for years.
My mum and dad's relationship deteriated over time and I eventually moved back home to help out.

It has put women off wanting to go out with me, but at the end of the day my nan and family still need me. Patience will pay off and the right woman is just around the corner.. Im sure. :)


Mike
 evrybdy
Joined: 12/14/2005
Msg: 37
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30 year old kids living with me? Would it make him Untouchable?
Posted: 3/15/2009 12:02:22 AM
I actually would think better of you, OP, if you do take care of her and live with her. I lived with my mom all my life and she was my best friend. And no, I am not selfish. I worked hard and often paid the rent and all the bills, (always paid at least my half), so she could have a social life and take a job she enjoyed. (when she was with my dad, he kept her from these things) Throughout the years, we had girls day outs, went to concerts, talked about tonz of things, had parties at our apartment (my friends all loved her too and called her "mom") Those memories are like gold to me now because she is gone, and if I did it the American way and threw her in a home, part of my soul would always be empty cause I wouldn't have known what it was like to have such a wonderful person in my life.

OP, can a woman love you for loving your mom? yes, i'm the living proof. =)

M
 grkboy
Joined: 3/20/2008
Msg: 38
30 year old kids living with me? Would it make him Untouchable?
Posted: 3/16/2009 6:35:15 AM

I've dated plenty of women who have told me straight up that guys living at home is a deal-breaker.

Then it speaks loudly how those women are not deserving of a good man, especially if they claim they want a family-oriented male to marry. Not to sound mean, but I found it funny how many women rejected me when I was at home building up my life. Now I have a great income, job, etc...and those women are STILL SINGLE and complaining to death how every man they meet just wants to bang them and move on. How they can't find any men who want to commit to anything.

Even funnier are the few of those who suddenly wanted to hook up with me the minute I got my life going again.

So let them have their standard. They're entitled to it. Let even some play at the double-standard of "a real man is in his own place with no roommates" while they still live with their parents. If they find a great guy with his own place...more power to them. However, if all they seem to find are decent men who are very close to their elders VS guys on their own who won't commit to anything other than sex...then it's their own standards that keep them single and alone.

I am in full agreement a real adult is someone who built their lives, but the world isn't the same anymore. I don't fault someone for taking a step back to regroup, provided they have a plan and/or are working hard to get back on their feet. I also respect someone even more when they sacrifice their own personal comfort to be there for their parents. Unless said elder requires constant care, it's a cardinal sin in my book to put your elders in an old folks home unless they want it.

I say it over and over...it's ok to have standards as long as they bring you a good pool of eligible singles. As long as they bring you success. Family comes first in my book.
 ljtp1117
Joined: 4/1/2006
Msg: 39
30 year old kids living with me? Would it make him Untouchable?
Posted: 3/17/2009 5:17:57 AM
There will always be tough times.

It builds character and teaches how to raise the next generation.

My ex and I struggled through the early years and I am better for it.

MAN UP!
 ljtp1117
Joined: 4/1/2006
Msg: 40
30 year old kids living with me? Would it make him Untouchable?
Posted: 3/17/2009 5:25:04 AM
My children could always count on me for anything they needed.

I stood back and let them make mistakes that I knew were iminent.

I made it clear they could not come back home.

One is a doctor.
The other runs the family business.
 GQSunset
Joined: 2/28/2009
Msg: 41
Living with mother over 30? Would it make me Untouchable?
Posted: 1/20/2010 7:55:13 PM
Rent an apt, even if you are living at your mothers house.

WHY?

Because it's UNGODLY rare the woman who not only fall madly in love with you, AND see you as noble for giving up YOUR life in order to take care of your mother.

You would be surprised at how many insensitive and selfish women there are out there who want prince charming and yet don't deserve him when he does show up.

As i said rent an apt and don't tell anyone you are dating what your responsibilities are, why? because they honestly won't care, and won't really be able to help you in any way through it.

It's like being a single dad and trying to find someone understandng and compassionate and mature enough to deal with the responsibilities you and she would face in light of your circumstances.

Not bashing all women, but it's amazing what you realize when a family tragedy happens.

You can find love however it WILL reach a point where she will want you to choose her over your family, then it's up to you to fish or cut bait.
 FluffyBrain
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 42
Living with mother over 30? Would it make me Untouchable?
Posted: 1/21/2010 1:49:55 AM
op,
if you have an established career, it won't make a diff. the women are usually afraid if you're living with mom after 30, then they think you probably don't have the good career either. if you don't have the career, get working on it...either by going to school or just jumping right in. it's definitely the career thing the women are worried about...so if your career is established, really no need to worry about living with mom temporarily.
 SFX Group
Joined: 2/20/2008
Msg: 43
Living with mother over 30? Would it make me Untouchable?
Posted: 1/30/2010 7:27:45 PM

If a woman is mature enough to dig deep enough and be aware enough to accept others flaws/flawed situations it shouldn't be a big deal.


soooo he will be winning the lottery this weekend then? (find a woman like that lol)
 Crane38
Joined: 8/8/2009
Msg: 44
Living with mother over 30? Would it make me Untouchable?
Posted: 1/31/2010 7:24:27 AM
I would think that it would be embarrassing if you brought a Screamer home!
 n0odles
Joined: 10/21/2009
Msg: 45
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Living with mother over 30? Would it make me Untouchable?
Posted: 2/2/2010 6:27:14 AM
I am technically (lol) living with my mother and its slowly dawning on me why these young go-getters I go on dates with arent calling me back.

Edit: I dont do star wars figures though..
 minako79
Joined: 1/15/2009
Msg: 46
Living with mother over 30? Would it make me Untouchable?
Posted: 2/2/2010 7:26:18 PM
you now what... who cares, if you want to look after your mum good for you, if no woman would understand your situation, they're not worth dating after.
 SyngleFysh33
Joined: 1/9/2010
Msg: 47
Living with mother over 30? Would it make me Untouchable?
Posted: 2/4/2010 6:35:09 AM
You should do what is best for your family- any woman who judges you for it is a bit shallow, in my opinion. As long as you make it a priority to find time and a means to be alone with any woman your're dating, you should be set.

There are still many cultures that have generations living under the same roof. Not that it's ideal for most people, but it is the way to take care of the family without relying so heavily on nursing homes and government assistance. Wasn't that long ago that it used to be the norm. Sorry for the tangent. Explain to any decent female what your situation is, and I think she'll be understanding.
 honda12345
Joined: 4/4/2009
Msg: 48
Living with mother over 30? Would it make me Untouchable?
Posted: 2/7/2010 8:12:42 PM
My parents are getting older and considering moving down south in the next few years. When they go...their paid for house will be mine. So when my lease ran out on my apartment 6 months ago i moved home.

I renovated their basement into a nice apartment for myself and this is where i will stay until the whole place is mine.

I will be able to save loads of money, not pay a landlord money and i still have my independance. If a woman doesnt like this - cya. lol.
 msdemeanor70
Joined: 10/11/2009
Msg: 49
Living with mother over 30? Would it make me Untouchable?
Posted: 2/8/2010 6:42:38 AM

Too many women are unaware of one thing in this country and that is that MANY INDUSTRIES ARE IN DECLINE AND THERE ARE FEWER JOBS TO BE HAD.


Do you think women aren't in the job market and aware of this? I bet it's not just women who wouldn't date a man living with his parents, I doubt a man would date a woman living in her parent's basement either. The funny thing is, I don't know a single woman living in her parent's basement (at least not past their 20s). Maybe this is a guy thing?
 notjustatokenman
Joined: 8/3/2009
Msg: 50
Living with mother over 30? Would it make me Untouchable?
Posted: 2/17/2010 2:21:09 PM
You're a hero, bro! And any woman who can't see that isn't worth your time nor attention.
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