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Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 12
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Excerpt of the Canadian Divorce ActPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
Adultery in and of itself is not of detriment to the child beyond the split.

If it is obvious to the kids that mom or dad had a relationship with someone when still with the other parent, the kids will be damaged but it is only permanent if it is handled badly by everyone involved.

Obviously your X is behaving inappropriately in front of the children but this still does not make her a bad parent in other ways and frankly unless she is having sex in front of them, the courts do not care nor should they because as Jaxi noted, the courts would be so flooded with cases they could not function.

Your X is probably in a honeymoon stage and while it hurts you, it will wear off and if this relationship does not work out, you might then approach her and indicate that you realize that she may have been so caught up she did not realize what she was doing to the children but in the future, you would appreciate it if she kept her kids and relationships separate until she was sure that things seemed stable.

Let go of the anger, you really have no control over what she does and that is part of what is making you so angry, but guess what, 90 something percent of life cannot be controlled. If YOU want to be a good parent concentrate on you and your kids and not bad-mouthing their mother regardless of what she does. She is still their mother and when you speak badly of her to them, you speak badly of them because she is a part of them. What's fair and what's right won't change anything and thinking about anything but the reality you are dealing ith is self-defeating.
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 14
Excerpt of the Canadian Divorce Act
Posted: 1/26/2009 10:52:08 AM
Poor Mister and Mel. I'm very sorry you've had these experiences. Please keep in mind that many women get screwed by their husbands as well. And often, when men left their wives through the decades, the women had been home raising the children (because until fairly recently that's what was expected of women) resulting in their not having any work options. I feel those laws were created to protect men who were aholes from being sued for support on the basis of their poor ethics. Now, women aholes also are being protected from being sued.

Keep going to counselling and finding activities that make you feel positive. And please don't tarnish us all with the same brush!

Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 16
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Excerpt of the Canadian Divorce Act
Posted: 1/26/2009 12:31:11 PM
Also to prevent either party with deep pockets from winning custody of the children based on trumped up morals issues when there was no bad parenting about which to accuse.
Joined: 12/16/2008
Msg: 22
Excerpt of the Canadian Divorce Act
Posted: 1/26/2009 2:59:17 PM
Buddy: Grow up and get over it!

If you didn't catch anything permanent you got off lucky.

Why dont you look at a little case law and and start figuring out what it will cost you and then add your lawyers bill on top of it. And then you can probably add your ex's lawyers bill on top of that also which is called costs.

So add the 2 bills up along with the mid point of spousal and x 12months x yrs married. There is your potential point of liability. Offer her 80% of that in a lump sum payment based on the provision she never darkens your door again. It also comes with the premise that it is not negotiable.

Then with the division of equity you also offer her the majority of the household items.

But before you hand over anything make sure you have the agreement signed stating she can never go back looking for more!
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