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 barbee1970
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 2
When to know to call it QuitsPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
That alway seems to happen after I've been in relationships awhile. I would say if he's around another girl, not communicating, it might be time to call it quits. I hate break ups too.
 Shadow67733
Joined: 8/17/2008
Msg: 4
When to know to call it Quits
Posted: 1/26/2009 10:58:45 PM
Yes things he USED to do. This is often why people break up and get back together, they remember the good but forget all the bad and the bad is what never changes and what makes things not work. A guy who cares about you would NEVER mention how others think ur not good looking enough for him. Thats not only a show of his disrespect for you but also that he most likely agrees and is trying to make you self conscious to ignore the other crap he is pulling. It sure sounds to me like he's not trying hard to care about you never mind keep you. Please ditch him and find someone who appreciates you.
 VivaciousVixen2010
Joined: 7/12/2008
Msg: 5
When to know to call it Quits
Posted: 1/26/2009 11:45:36 PM
There are too many people out there. More importantly Honor yourself and your own self respect and dump the fool. Why would you want a man that won't cherish you?
 Write Time
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 6
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History
When to know to call it Quits
Posted: 1/27/2009 1:25:06 AM
Awful lot of flags there -- especially the message from the other woman, as well as his response.

To me, though, the kicker is him telling you "friends" have said you're not attractive enough for him. Nobody says that to someone for whom they genuinely care.

I say walk now with your pride intact. You deserve better, and you're only going to get in deeper and hurt worse if you stay.
 red_relaxed
Joined: 7/18/2007
Msg: 9
When to know to call it Quits
Posted: 1/27/2009 2:07:03 AM
Call it quits. Don't let this get any messier than it already is. You've been wavering for a while now, gave him the benefit of the doubt, so time now to face facts and let yourself off the hook.
Just let go...drop that heavy rock that you're hanging onto in the deep end of the pool.
 LukeMM23
Joined: 4/2/2006
Msg: 10
When to know to call it Quits
Posted: 1/27/2009 2:21:40 AM
I feel like this is sexist. Just because one man only wants sex does not mean all men just want sex. Yes, I love sex. I admit it.

I do have another head other than the little one.

The problem with these insensitive sex addicts is that they have no idea how to carry on a relationship. They weren't taught by their parents or told by their friends. The rest of the good guys in the world get the shaft because A: Those type of idiotic men are out there and B: Because women are too worried that next relationship will be as bad as the last one.

News flash: Some of us guys have gotten the shaft a lot. Being rejected can be very healthy for a guy. Then again, it can make a guy into a total ***hole. However, some of us rose above, learned to be better men, learned to respect ourselves more. And we have also learned that it hurts when your heart gets broken. Treat others the way you want to be treat right? Well, that's something these insensitive, cheating dirtbags have never figured out.

Now... in a relationship, some people call it quits far too quickly. Look at my last relationship. She really didn't even give it a chance. I think she was scared to see where it would lead. We had a fight and took a weak off from each other. In that time, I grew as a man and a boyfriend. I don't think she grew in any way. She was comfortable being single. A man and a woman should try to grow together in a relationship. Even if that means they scream and yell at each other once in a while. It really is better for both of them to talk their problems out. And that's what I think the OP should try to do. Approach him about these things that are making you worry so much.

Did I miss the point of this post?
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 14
When to know to call it Quits
Posted: 1/27/2009 5:25:53 AM
You have to decide how much respect you want to get from your partner. When you stop getting it--then its time to go. Even if there isn't a better alternative right by your hand to jump to.

But, some people think being alone is a far worse thing than being disrespected....of course, once they find out they can be great company for themselves, then their defintion of respect also goes up, too.
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 15
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When to know to call it Quits
Posted: 1/27/2009 7:59:10 AM
It sounds to me like you know the relationship has run its course. I think the reason that you are confused about how to proceed is that it is not like you fight, etc. and you tend to think that maybe you expect too much.

The guy he is now, that is the guy. The guy you fell in love with was the guy with some polish on it. The guy you fell in love with, if you stay with him, will make infrequent appearances.

You don't sound happy hun, so what IS he doing to make you want to stick it out? It sounds like nothing. In the meantime, you are at school, etc. and there are guys that you may be better suited to be with that you are passing up hanging onto memories that are now at least six months old.

Communication patterns do change over time but he sounds like he just doesn't give a toot and this is not going to get better. The guy you fell for apparently does not really exist.

One more thing, this is hard, because you thought you had found the right guy so what you don't want to give up is the future you thought you were going to have. When you realize that the beginning was not really real because he was not being his true self, it gets easier because you have essentially lost nothing but a fairy tale.
 worldclassman
Joined: 2/7/2009
Msg: 22
When to know to call it Quits
Posted: 2/12/2009 9:23:05 PM
Everyone changes during a relationship, it's just that women are mostly the only ones who complain about it.

Have you ever bought a new car? Remember when you first got it, you kept it clean all the time, washed it every week. Now, it's got some miles and you let it go longer in between cleaning, you scarf down burgers and get sesame seeds everywhere on the seats etc. Does it mean you don't love your car as much? Nah, it's just old hat that's all.

Just because your men "change" on you doesn't mean they don't still love you. Yer just "old hat" that's all...

Just keep spoiling him. He deserves it because he'll more than likely be the primary breadwinner, if there's war he'll go fight, if someone breaks in he'll protect you etc...

Honor your man, don't bust his chops...
 CookieLady66
Joined: 11/7/2008
Msg: 24
When to know to call it Quits
Posted: 2/13/2009 6:36:52 AM
I suspect that in the beginning, when the relationship was new...by spending so much time on the phone with him EVERY DAY (yike) and texting constantly....he was encouraging you to need him, want him, etc. Once he knew he had you, he starts calling less, etc. as a test to see if you STILL want him, need him...By now, you're pretty much trained to stay no matter what he does, which is why he'll cheat.

Who knows? I could be completely wrong. Just a theory.
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