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Joined: 5/31/2008
Msg: 13
Too Much ConfidencePage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
I have also noticed that I have become more confident with age and a lot of it is reaching a point where you just don't care what people think of you, but you kind of have to reach that point or come near to reaching it to really understand the feeling.)
Once you reach that point there is nothing better. Age doesn't stop you from doing anything you want to do, and you get to do it with confidence.

Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 14
view profile
Too Much Confidence
Posted: 1/31/2009 4:35:15 AM
FunnyandSweet, I'm like you - can't get enough information. I'm starting to think it's an addiction!

I've worked in information/research for a long time. I don't know everything, but what I'm very good at is finding out the answers to things. Since I can pretty much come up with an 'answer for everything', it looks like I'm a know-it-all LOL. I'm not, I'm a 'know-where-to-find-it-all' - which is a good thing, else I'd not be any use in my job.

I'm also fairly confident. I'm kind of surprised at how many people aren't, especially people who've reached and passed 30. Confidence is, after all, accepting oneself. True confidence comes from knowing where your capabilities lie; accepting that everybody's good at something, nobody's good at everything, and whatever you're best at is what you should be proud of.

I agree the OP should make allowances and not be so judgmental. It sounds like the person she's dealing with is pretty young; overconfidence is to be expected in that lot - they haven't yet realized how much they don't know. That young lady will figure it out eventually.
Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 15
Too Much Confidence
Posted: 1/31/2009 1:38:31 PM
There is a difference between confidence and know it alls(over confidence)....
confidence= sure of yourself enough to know that you are strong enough to admit that others may know about certain subjects than yourself(and it doesnt make you less of a person)
know it alls= not confident in youself enough to let others know more than yourself(may bruise your ego)
Only my opinion though...
Joined: 4/22/2007
Msg: 16
Too Much Confidence
Posted: 1/31/2009 3:10:56 PM
^I would agree with this. Semantics always come into play when we discuss emotions on POF or feelings about feelings.

It seems to me that whenever a poster writes a thread about emotions on POF, some posters become cofused, some become complicated and difficult to understand and some get upset with the original OP. Others - about 70 per cent - seem capable of discussing emotions in an adult way. I know some people are going to be upset with me for writing this and will throw a few insults.

All of this leads me to the conclusion, that some people are very uncomfortable talking about emotions. I think this may be the last thread I write about emotions for reasons I have already mentioned.

To the approximate 30 percent of you who cannot handle talking about emotions in an adult way, do you think maybe you are not in a relationship because you are out of touch with your feelings or have problems with emotions?

I feel insults coming my way, so I am off to put on my bullet proof vest? Before those of you who feel the urge to shoot off at me, ask yourself how do you feel about talking about feelings?
Joined: 6/5/2008
Msg: 17
Too Much Confidence
Posted: 1/31/2009 3:14:50 PM
What does overconfidence have to do with emotions?
Joined: 6/5/2008
Msg: 18
Too Much Confidence
Posted: 1/31/2009 4:01:32 PM
I think age has little bearing on confidence. Pretty well any kid on the block would whup my ass on a game console (Sony PlayStation, Nintendo, whatever) because I never play those games.

I read somewhere that overconfidence is the leading factor in motorcycle accidents in the early stages of a rider. After the initial learning curve all newbies may suffer through, they gain confidence and should there not be any mishaps for a time they start to be less mindful of hazards that can ruin the trip, whether its loose gravel, slippery roads, or people that open doors into your path. When I approach parked vehicles I make a point of looking for occupants that might do that.

Confidence and assuredness come from lots of experience, deep familiarity with a topic, or developing a high degree of skill.

Consider tying knots for example. There are some knots every boater should know, but since need for some of those knots never arises in any of the routines of my boating, I have no confidence in tying them.

However I've tied so many hundreds of leaders for hoochies (salmon fishing lures) I can tie all three knots (snell two single hooks and one loop) in only a few minutes and I KNOW it will be done well. I'm confident that if I had to I can probably do it with my eyes closed, and nearly as quickly too.

When that trophy fish is on the line I know my knots will hold.

Now if only I could get a nibble.
Joined: 4/22/2007
Msg: 19
Too Much Confidence
Posted: 1/31/2009 5:26:41 PM
Message 25 - Yes, the original post was about my feelings toward someone with too much confidence. However, I suspect that feelings of confidence or lack of it are connected to a person's emotional well being and that a healthy amound of self-confidence is likel to be found in an emotionally stable person.

Lack of self-confidence is not good either. I think we all know this and it can lead to depression.

What I am really interested in is the group of people who are so confident they appear arrogant.

I was also wondering if the amount of confidence individuals have is set more or less at a certain point like intelligence.

I noted that as we age things seem to matter less and for that reason it is easier to be confident. Also, by a certain age, we have experienced successes and feel more confident.

Well, that's it for now. Everything is just ducky.
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 20
Too Much Confidence
Posted: 2/1/2009 6:22:51 AM
"Too much confidence" ???????? Is there such a thing?????? The only time I see that being too confident is a problem is when you can't back up what you are "too confident" about ,,,,,with ,,,,,, your actions!!!!!! If a person does back up what they are so confident about,,then really the only person with the problem is the one that is whining about the "confidence" of another.

The people that I do have a problem with is the ones that mix arrogance and ignorance together which some people think is overconfidence. That is,,,when they really don't know,,,but believe they do,,and with their actions try to "mask" their own lack of confidence. There is a BIG difference between arrogance and confidence.And usually the people that confuse them have never been comfortable enough to be "confident" within themselves and to put that "confidence" out there with their actions and feelings.

There is evidence in these posts that show some people out there cannot handle,understand, or even know what true "confidence" is or what it means. It shows that some out there get real scared with people that walk and talk with confidence in themselves and their way of being. I do believe that in itself is just because of the "lack" of confidence of those scared,,,and that they themselves have never been comfortable with themselves or their own degree of self-confidence. If you have never had it,,,,how can ya biatch about people that truely do?????
Joined: 4/22/2007
Msg: 21
Too Much Confidence
Posted: 2/1/2009 6:52:09 PM
^ yes, I think I have problems listening to people boast.

I have a quote from the experts at the Mayo Clinic to do with Narcissitic Personality Disorder. I know there was a thread done previously on NPD. I am surprised no one mentioned it.

<div class="quote">Although some features of narcissistic personality disorder may seem like having confidence or strong self-esteem, it's not the same. Narcissistic personality disorder crosses the border of healthy confidence and self-esteem into thinking so highly of yourself that you put yourself on a pedestal. In contrast, people who have healthy confidence and self-esteem don't value themselves more than they value others.

When you have narcissistic personality disorder, you may come across as conceited, boastful or pretentious. You often monopolize conversations. You may belittle or look down on people you perceive as inferior. You may have a sense of entitlement. And when you don't receive the special treatment to which you feel entitled, you may become very impatient or angry. You may also seek out others you think have the same special talents, power and qualities — people you see as equals. You may insist on having "the best" of everything — the best car, athletic club, medical care or social circles, for instance.

I don't think the woman who prompted me to write this thread has it, but 2 other people just popped into my mind I know who behave this way.
 Life is Always Good
Joined: 10/8/2008
Msg: 22
Too Much Confidence
Posted: 2/2/2009 9:10:25 PM

There is a BIG difference between arrogance and confidence

Nuff said. Confidence attracts people. Arrogance repels. Takes some people time to learn the difference. But, eventually they all learn. That's why the arrogant constantly have to be fishing for new friends.
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