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 mrcs84
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 512
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Paying child support for kids that are not yoursPage 12 of 30    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30)

The other part of that issue is that women STILL do not earn as much as men do.


That is because men:
- work more hours
- have more years of recent, uninterrupted experience with their current employer
- have more experience in general
- take less "sick" days
- commute farther
- are more willing to relocate
- take on bigger responsibilities, even when their job titles are the same
- take more financial risks
- work less desirable hours
- work jobs that expose you to the weather
- work jobs where they often have to take their work home with them
- have higher goals to begin with



But lets' face it, the mother who does not work outside the home is often the one who is forced to rely on child support and/or assistance programs if her marriage breaks up-because there is no defined wage for homemaker/mother. Perhaps the governments should identify households that contain a wife and mother who is not a wage earner, and deduct a certain amount of money from her husbands' paycheck to be held in an account or fund that she can draw on if the marriage breaks up-or pay that money directly to her as a "wage" for being a homemaker and mother?

How about we have mothers that don't set themselves up to be dependent on the incomes of others in order to survive? Heaven forbid their husbands die in an accident of some sort. The idea of a woman getting some sort of a wage for what she does is ludicrous. She's getting paid in trade. She takes care of the cleaning/childcare, he pays the bills that keep the house over everyone's head, and the food and clothing that everyone has access to. Heaven forbid he wants to have a clean house, a meal, and get laid every once in a while.
 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 513
Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 2/6/2011 1:50:51 PM

It wasn't that hard to adjust to a lifestyle that allowed me to be home and cooking breakfest, lunch and dinner instead of spending $30 a day at driv-thru fast food joints...


If that's how you parent that's fvcking scary. I work full-time and am well able to put a great, nutritious meal together in less than an hour or, heaven forbid, I plan ahead and have several meals planned in advance....


This is a very good point. if a male custodial parent finds himself going in the hole,especially if he is paying for childcare while he works,(and/or the childcare arrangements are creating as many problems as they solve!)I would think that same choice is available to him, (or some kind of subsidies) and if he chooses not to take it, this is not the fault of women! Not every single parent has a mother or sibling or cousin willing to babysit for free.


Cindy, I know you've adopted lizzardbreath as your new pet, but she really is the exemplar of what many of us full-time, half-time, or non custodial fathers really dislike about many women's attitudes around CS and what it takes to be a parent.

Lizzie, like my ex and many women I know personally or know of, think that they can use their kids as an excuse NOT to contribute financially to the best of their abilities.

I will never forget my ex coming to me weeks after she left saying that we needed to look at the raising of our kids as a business partnership. It was the primary thing we needed to focus on. Good on her for that idea....

... the trouble is that she has NEVER brought as much to the table as she is able to do, financially.

If we really ARE talking about "the best interests of the children" should not I, as a parnter in this enterprise, have a reasonable expectation that my business partner bring as much in the way of resources to the table as I do, or at least work to make that happen over the long-term?

My ex works part-time at best, but could work full-time making pretty good money. She can afford to rebuild her home, spend her days doing yoga and other non-producing activities. My kids are old enough and self-sufficient enough that they need little supervision. I have the half the time. YET, my ex collects $hundreds/month CS and $hundreds more in child tax credits. She does NOTHING and has done NOTHING in the past decade to be a full, functioning partner in the financial aspect of the business of raising kids.

My ex and lizzie are hardly unique. In fact they comprise a significant number of women, from my experience.

Tealwood constantly brings up the fact that male custodial parents are MUCH more likely to work full-time than female custodial parents. Men are MUCH more likely to work AT ALL if they parent than women are....

.... yet his comments are ignored by the women in this and every other thread this has been mentioned.

Women like lizzie will use the "Kid Excuse" until long after their kids are grown up and gone. Then they'll play the fvcking Martyr card and say that they sacrificed their whole fvcking life for their kids....

... what bullshit.

 mrcs84
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 515
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Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 2/6/2011 2:38:44 PM

Talk about BS!!! Before I had my daughter, before I was ever pregnant I worked 60 hour weeks for 3 months straight. I went in sicker than a dog because my employers had me doing a rush project. I've commuted 2 hours a day for a job I hated. Was given a lot of bigger responsibilities, had raises within months cuz of my work ethic. GET OVER YOURSELF! I was a stay at home working mother doing the double shift working 50 hours a week to provide for myself and child. I worked from home but I worked.

Once again, you give one single solitary example and use it as means to argue against the norm. One day you might learn.


Have higher goals than to begin with... As I already said GET OVER YOURSELF. Maybe people have different goals, doesn't make their goals less valuable.

Having a goal to be a secretary of a company is most certainly a lesser goal than being CEO of that same company. You may not want to believe it, but there are goals that have more quantifiable value within a company than others.
 mrcs84
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 517
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Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 2/6/2011 3:46:27 PM

Saying that women don't have a good work ethic. That only men know how to work hard and other BS like that. Maybe one of these days you will stop making such huge generalizations about women.


I never said any of that. You're projecting once again. If you think the things that I mentioned are generalizations, then why don't you do a Google search for "wage gap myth." Do women make less than men? Yes, in pretty much every category worth mention. Do most women ignore the reasons why? Yes indeed.

Warren Farrell even wrote a book on it called "why men make more," and you're talking about the only man that was elected 3 times onto the board of directors of The National Organization for Women.

And to add to that, you can download this PDF:
http://www.the-spearhead.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/Gender-Wage-Gap-Final-Report.pdf
Which is a report done by the department of labor which also backs what I've already mentioned, but I'm sure you'll turn a blind eye to that too.


You're right just like their are quantifiable degrees in being an @$$hole. You seem to be an expert on women though at 25 wow-- got us all figured out.

WHARRGARBL!!!!!
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 519
Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 2/6/2011 4:38:59 PM
At the end of the day, gentlemen...keep your d*ck out of fertile holes,and don't get involved with single mothers. If that puts your sex life in a serious drought,so be it.
At the end of the day, ladies,do not have children unless you are absolutely 100% positive that you can provide for them with NO support from anybody anywhere, or unless they open up the safe haven laws so that children of any age under 18 can be dropped off when you CAN'T. Or when a universal statute is passed that children of single mothers or children of divorcing parents are automatically taken into custody of the state and both parents have to pay child support,and won't have to worry about child care because the state will handle it.
Again, I am on no ones' "side", except the children. Like it or not, there is a very real factor for single or divorced mothers, that unless they have a specialized occupation or profession, they ARE actually doing themselves and their children a disservice. If more low-to-moderate income single dads would put aside their male pride for a minute and carefully evaluate their own options, maybe we wouldn't have this huge ridge of resentment against single mothers!

A greater percentage of women than men tend to leave the labor force for child birth, child care and elder care. Some of the wage gap is explained by the percentage of women who were not in the labor force during previous years, the age of women, and the number of children in the home

Looks to me like the answer is clear...women are in the wrong for being socially conditioned to be caregivers and nurturers. (sarcasm switch on)This conditioning must be stopped...if children and elders can't care for themselves while adults work, then they should be made to get off the planet. (sarcasm sitch off)
Cindy O
 mrcs84
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 521
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Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 2/7/2011 1:01:51 AM
Your list makes it sound like men are better workers than women.

You're projecting once again.

No, I do not state -why- women make the choices that they do. I just stated that they do. The statement was that women make less than men. I was giving reasons why that is true. The reasons being that women make different choices than men. I didn't give reasons as to why those choices were made. You can delve into that to your hearts desire, but if women are going to make different lifestyle choices, they shouldn't be complaining about the fact that their choices have repercussions.


How about this one women are more adapt at putting up with BS from men so we don't demand higher wages.

How about men are more willing to negotiate a raise instead of just doing a good job and -hoping- that they get noticed.


However your list might be why men live shorter lifes than women. Its like the fact that more men don't go to the doctor until its too late. Now what do you call that?

Yeah, that's nothing new. Women cater their work to their personalities. All things considered, women tend to live a more balanced lifestyle. Men are more driven by how much money they make.



Why do men knock up untrustworthy skeezers?

I'm sure most of them were just as careless as the "skeezers" that decided that they wanted to keep the kid. I'm also willing to bet that most of them didn't want a kid in the first place.


if you as male can not make good choices, you are a volunteer, not a victim.

Definitely goes both ways. Difference being that women have more [bad] choices to make.


How the fvck are men forced into fatherhood?

By women choosing to have a children that men didn't want in the first place? Perhaps we should revoke Roe v Wade. Why should women have a choice if men don't? After all, both parties were being careless.


It really is best that you do not breed, being so angry towards one gender does not indicate a person mentally healthy enough to parent.

I guess you can't have a debate without someone playing armchair psychologist.



I really hope you arent trying to say that single mothers are the ones doing that.

http://archives.drugabuse.gov/NIDA_Notes/NNVol10N1/NIDASurvey.html

I don't know if I would call them a "mothers" per se until the child is born, and whether or not the women are single is besides the point.


Y'all talk about irrepsonsible mothers all the time.

On these forums, perhaps. In society as a whole, not so much. In fact, society tends to bend over backwards for [single] mothers regardless of how toxic they are.

Sheryl Lynn Massip was a woman who ran over her 6-month old with her car. Her sentence was outpatient psychiatric treatment. I -seriously- doubt a man would have gotten such a light sentence.

Andrea Yates drowned her 5 children in the bathtub.
She was found "not guilty" by reason of insanity. A year later, she was moved to a low security mental hospital. Again, I -seriously- doubt a man would have gotten such a light sentence.
 mrcs84
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 523
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Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 2/7/2011 9:26:55 AM

So...use protection, or dont sleep with the skankbag!

In regard to all your talk about protection, you don't know how many of these people were or were not using protection of some sort. THAT is PROJECTING. And calling someone out has nothing to with being an armchair psychologist. You are unaware of certain key factors of the situation, and you are making assumptions in place of those unknown factors.


Wouldnt a man with at least a 4th grade education know that sperm and eggs are the recipe for life?

Heh, you'd be surprised.


And revoking Roe Vs. Wade....seriously dude?

It was more to prove a point. No I'm not serious. Personally should have some sort of an "opt out" clause saying that they can -at least- sign their rights away if a woman decides to have the baby. Especially seeing how women can birth, abort, or even adopt out without the man's consent.


but you just cant leave your fate in the hands of others, you have to look out for you b/c nobody will look out for your as well as you, one important life lesson i have learned and live by.

Which kind of undermines the idea of government as a whole. Lolz



FAIR is what you buy tickets for, the rest is called life and common sense.
I wish i could piss standing up, but i cant, biology isnt fair.
I wish i was 6 ft tall and 100 pounds supermodel, but im not, biology isnt fair.

Speaking of fair. The almighty entity called feminism has made it so protection services (fire/police departments) have had to lower their standards so that women can get into them. How fair is that? You can lower the standards all you want, but you can't lower the risk factor. If a 180 pound man is unconscious in a burning building, and some 125 pound female firefighter comes through the door (already having about 60+ pounds of equipment on her back), what's the likeliness of him getting out alive? But I guess it's all fair.


Call it what you will, but i strongly suggest vasectomy. If you ever have kids, displaying hatred towards their mother and women in general would be quite detrimental to them.

YOU DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO WITH MY BODY OR HOW I WILL RAISE MY KIDS!!!

Sound like a familiar tune?


That's rich from a guy who tells anyone who disagrees with him that they're "projecting".

I have no issue with someone disagreeing with me. If they have zero backing to their discrepancies and are making assumptions, that's a different story.



I'm sure you don't want to post somewhere that you're a good guy and have women jump all over you because you have a penis,

Well, you know that they're not ALL bad, of course, but MOST of them are and the good ones are so goddamn rare that they don't count (wink).

I've never said anything about -all- single mothers being bad, or even attached any sort of percentage toward how many bad ones there are. All that I have ever alluded to is that there -are- bad/careless/irresponsible mothers out there.



You don't get to insist that other people follow a different set of rules than you do. As a matter of fact, doing that makes you a hypocrite.

The comment about the 2 murderous women was a criticism of the legal system, and not of women. The thing with the legal system is that 1 incident is enough to set a precedent for the rest of the nation. And that had nothing to do with jenn's form of argument.


Bullshit. There's an entire forum right here full of threads about the evils of women who had the nerve to get knocked out outside of marriage or even *gasp* divorced.


I already stated this:


On these forums, perhaps. In society as a whole, not so much. In fact, society tends to bend over backwards for [single] mothers regardless of how toxic they are.



I'm so sick of people (usually men) whining about women taking care of their children.

I'm so sick of people (usually women) whining about how they barely have enough money to get by because the other "parent" doesn't pay child support.
Personally, I think that child support should go in some sort of a trust fund that only the child has access to once they are of age to be able to utilize the money for their own whims. -Technically- that money belongs to the child anyway.


big ole' manly men to do stuff like ignore the kids so they can work 80 hour weeks and then lord it over her with biased studies.

They're gone just as much as those lil ole' womanly woman that decided to get an education after having their kid(s) and are working ontop of that.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 524
Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 2/7/2011 9:57:35 AM

If a 180 pound man is unconscious in a burning building, and some 125 pound female firefighter comes through the door (already having about 60+ pounds of equipment on her back), what's the likeliness of him getting out alive? But I guess it's all fair.

I would think that unless she was a FD of one, alone on scene, that she would be radioing for another firefighter to assist her as the objective is to save lives not have a gender war.
I do not know for sure, but I would think that if height and weight requirements were reduced across the board as applicable to both genders, that those lower parameters would also allow for men of ethnicities that tend to have smaller bodies more opportunity to pursue a career in firefighting as well.

Personally, I think that child support should go in some sort of a trust fund that only the child has access to once they are of age to be able to utilize the money for their own whims. -Technically- that money belongs to the child anyway.

Well, if the kid has such a low income that he or she dies of malnutrion or of carbon monoxide poisoning from living in a car, they won't ever get to use it, will they?
Why not do as I suggested and have all children of single mothers or divorcing parents put into state-run institutions and make BOTH parents pay support.
The bottom line...if your life could not tolerate being a parent-regardless of gender...DON'T HAVE SEX. Or else go for permanent sterilization. And do not get romantically involved with people who have minor children lest you somehow(regardless of gender) become officially regarded as "in loco parentis" and have to pay child support for a child who doesn't carry your DNA.
I think it's been pretty clearly established that sex is not a survival need, so, if the risk of any kind of parental responsibility angers or frightens you...refrain from sexual intercourse.
Cindy O
 mrcs84
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 525
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Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 2/7/2011 10:56:11 AM

I would think that unless she was a FD of one, alone on scene, that she would be radioing for another firefighter to assist her as the objective is to save lives not have a gender war.

Yeah, saving lives. I understand the idea of working as a team, but if one of the team members is unable to perform the basic tasks required of them, then they are putting all the people involved in jeopardy.


I do not know for sure, but I would think that if height and weight requirements were reduced across the board as applicable to both genders, that those lower parameters would also allow for men of ethnicities that tend to have smaller bodies more opportunity to pursue a career in firefighting as well.

http://www.laweekly.com/2008-01-24/news/the-gender-boondoggle/4/

I'm talking about ability to perform the tasks, not height/weight.
 mrcs84
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 527
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Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 2/7/2011 11:18:26 AM
This whole attitude that justifies men abandoning their children.

Because women -never- abandon their children or anything.

In regard to the whole thing with your ex, I wouldn't say that that was him being forced into fatherhood seeing how you both were -trying- to get pregnant. Changing your mind when it's too late is unacceptable IMO.

I know for a fact that there are good men out there. Good men that would never justify walking away from a child, unplanned and maybe unwanted at first because that is their child. I know these men exist. And I know these men put their children first regardless of the relationship they have with their ex-partner. And I know there are men that would do anything for their child even if they had maybe been forced into fatherhood. These men do not need to find methods for not justifying being there for their children because they are there for their children. These men do not need child support orders because they make sure their children are taken care of. There are a lot of men out there that manage to not have unplanned pregnancies? I wonder how they manage to do it. Probably by not leaving the birth control methods solely on the woman.

I told my ex instead of paying me child support he could put the money into an account for our daughter, but no because he doesn't want to be a father.

I'm personally tired of the whole child support argument too. I'm tired about living in a selfish society, where people only care about money, and themselves. Everyone talks about how we would have to cut programs. What about the huge tax breaks that corporations get in Canada. How about the tax breaks that the rich get? How about the stimulus packages that the Canadian Conservative government did to stimulate the economy in providing jobs for a lot of men in trades. There are programs we have no problem justifying but programs that might help a child -- bad because we're helping selfish irresponsible women that are bad mothers because they choose poorly.

Women doing drugs while they are pregnant is a very complex issue. One that goes far beyond societies perception of these women. Its also a much more complex situation as I am finding out. I am researching and working with mother's with addictions. Society we can say these women are bad women but these women have addictions before they become pregnant. We live in a society that drug use is sometimes a social norm. We encourage social drinking. As someone that hasn't done drugs I'm in a minority. I was dating a guy and he thought I was pretentious because I had never done drugs. Because I had made a choice not to experiment.There are so many things you can/cannot do while you are pregnant. You can't eat tuna, raw fish. Lot of things are cultural too for what you do.

I like this part. (not being facetious)


Now ur just throwing in everything about the women you deem as irresponsible, and unfit mothers. Trying to use the worst case examples to make your argument stronger.

I was addressing a few specific points that were made a while back, and then the topic got derailed. C'est la vie

Back to the topic at hand.....Parents who force child support onto people who are not biological parents (and didn't sign adoption papers) = bad!

HMPH!
 My I
Joined: 1/23/2007
Msg: 528
Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 2/7/2011 12:44:03 PM

Women use drugs for different reasons then men. A lot of drug use stems from traumatization

Cut the bvllshit, Jenn.
It's dispicable that you are excusing the poor behaviour of these women. They are not special - they are avid drug users - don't glorify it as if to pretend women have an excuse for totally fvcking up a fetus.

It's intolerable that a woman can hold a non-bio-dad accountable to a child while mommy is excused for being an addict and abusing the child before it is even born. Go to an N.I.C.U. in your local hospital and explain your theory. I'm certain a few people will have you kicked out of the hospital for being so insulting.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 529
Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 2/7/2011 1:29:14 PM

Cut the bvllshit, Jenn.
It's dispicable that you are excusing the poor behaviour of these women. They are not special - they are avid drug users - don't glorify it as if to pretend women have an excuse for totally fvcking up a fetus.

It's intolerable that a woman can hold a non-bio-dad accountable to a child while mommy is excused for being an addict and abusing the child before it is even born.

This is severely off-topic, the thread is about child support, not endangering a fetus. How about men who become nomadic and work under the table so they can't have court-ordered child support taken out of their paychecks? Do these men give a damn if their offspring are living under a bridge?
People who endanger or abandon their children, or begrudge the money that goes to feed, clothe and shelter the child, now THAT'S intolerable. People who get divorces because they think they are having better sex with someone other than their spouse, people who divorce because one of the partners becomes ill, people who divorce because they are bored, then put their children in the middle of a damn custody and support battle, that's intolerable. Men that claim they are sterile or have been "clipped" to have condom-free sex, that's intolerable. Women who have children to get more money, that's intolerable. I believe that some states have put a cap on how much a family can receive to control this. Sometimes it has been married couples who have had more children to get more benefits-I'm not excusing ANYBODY for bad behavior.
Children cannot survive on their own...if the idea of being a mother or father is objectionable, don't have sex. People who have children and THEN decide they weren't ready to be parents,or that children are an obstacle to be removed from their lives, those people are intolerable. Parents who kill their children ought to get the death penalty, IMO.
Again...if you are afraid that producing a child will cramp your style or hurt your wallet, don't have sex. If you are afraid of becoming a parent figure for someone else's kids, don't get involved with single parents.
Cindy O
 mrcs84
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 531
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Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 2/7/2011 3:40:45 PM
*sigh*

Were y'all raped?

Considering the fact that the definition of the word rape is becoming more and more vague, possibly.


Strung out on crack or heroin?

A small minority, perhaps. I most cases, doubtful.


Completely unable to control where y'all put your bodily fluids?

No


Why do men knock up untrustworthy skeezers?

1. They probably had no intention of knocking them up.
2. They probably didn't know that they were "untrustworthy" or "skeezers"


Why arent they using protection?

Assuming that they weren't...
1. Cuz it "feels better"
2. Because she "claimed" that she was on the pill or infertile and, by gosh, he trusted her
3. Someone was too lazy to get some form of protection
4. "peter pan" complex
5. "Heat of the moment"


Is there a gang of testicle bandits i havent heard about?

YES!! It's been all over the news. I can't believe you haven't heard about it yet.
 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 535
Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 2/7/2011 5:10:03 PM

Noticing that no men have answered my questions. Thought so.


What? These vvvvvvvv lame questions?

Here:


Why do men knock up untrustworthy skeezers?


- women lie about BC
- many women like to use FATE as their BC of choice
- too many men are stupid and trust women to be responsible with BC
- believe it or not, women often don't show their true colours until they are walking out the door and forever after they leave ....

.... skeezerness is fairly easy to spot, but not so much the untrustworthy bit..

Another thing stems from the thing I've mentioned many times before in the fora is that for most women at the beginning of the relationship it's all about the LOoooove, but at the end, it's all about the MOOoooooooney, Honey!

Skanky, money-grubbing behaviour from women often only shows up after a relationship ends.

Not sure if it's the same with guys when they leave.


Why arent they using protection?


- they're fvcking idiots
- they're fvcking idiots because they believe what women tell them
- they're fvcking idiots

Happy now?

 My I
Joined: 1/23/2007
Msg: 538
Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 2/7/2011 6:03:18 PM

Crazy crazy women these days... kind of scary for any guys out there

In these last few posts by women:

Women doing drugs while they are pregnant is a very complex issue.

^^^ No, it's not complex. But keep pretending it is different than a man who has addiction problems. The only complexities I see with women who abuse a fetus via drug/alcohol use, is that they are not charged under the criminal code for abuse. A man slaps a woman and he is arrested (rightfully so). A woman causes fetal alcohol syndrome or leaves a baby in the N.I.C.U. of the local hospital for withdrawal management after birth while she goes home to "crank one up" with her boyfriend and she's adored for being a mother.

There is a double standard and it's quite prevelant. However, those who have a chip on their shoulder and want to make lame-ass suggestions that pre-natal drug use is a "complex" issue, needs to get their head out of their ass and stop pretending you don't have gendetr issues.

That also goes for the one who posted:

How about men who become nomadic and work under the table so they can't have court-ordered child support taken out of their paychecks? Do these men give a damn if their offspring are living under a bridge?
People who endanger or abandon their children, or begrudge the money that goes to feed, clothe and shelter the child, now THAT'S intolerable.


The courts can take care of deadbeats. But they can't take care of selfish addicts and drunks...... get your priorities straight.
 My I
Joined: 1/23/2007
Msg: 539
Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 2/7/2011 6:51:44 PM

I was on Mat leave from 1 full-time job and 2 part-time jobs when I figured out that I wasn't that much further behind income wise if I were to take a part-time position with the company that I was employed full-time with. Not a tough choice...Really it is simple math and came down to my social responsibility to raise the children I had birthed.

I'm not going to search for the post unless you want to make an issue out of it. You clearly stated that you worked hard in order to permit yourself to work part time; I think you referred to it as a "Plan". Well, I guess we know what your plan was.

Now, it comes out that your ex is paying fees, the government is giving you money and your wealthy family is supplementing your life as a mother of 5 kids (your words, not mine).

That's great your family is there for the kids. But this is where the bullshit starts. You chomp at men who are going it alone; men who are self-sufficient and men who are working full time with no other financial help, ridiculing them for earning money while you, "for the best interest of the children" stay at home and take money from others and other sources

You should have no right demanding anything from a non-bio-dad given your outlook about your own responsibilities. As I said before, you are not teaching your kids a good lesson in regards to independance.
 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 540
Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 2/7/2011 8:34:36 PM
I bet your just seething that in a few months my Ex will probably be on the hook for $23,000 in arears...Personally, I can't wait to see how much he will bargin his own son away for...because there is a price. sadd really.


I fvcking love it.

A couple of years ago, you were coming across as the martyr who was going it alone, not hitting your ex for CS. Then, the kids want to move in with him, you get pissed off and take him to court to collect all of the CS that you originally decided you could do without.

Or, is it the other ex you're hitting for the $23K? Shit, might as well hit both of them. It's hardly fair to nail one and not the other, after all.

You really are a prize. I envy your current suck....er... um... SO....

You are the kind of prize I will continually warn my sons about.

 Tealwood
Joined: 12/16/2008
Msg: 543
Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 2/8/2011 5:41:15 AM

I'm fairly confident this kind of money-grubbing behavior is a rampant characteristic of men. Probably more so than with women


Must be the blond???? as the numbers have been mentioned numerous times...there are many things individuals have been fairly confident in,...until they open their eyes and minds and review some of the potential facts....instead of regurgitating myths that others perpetuate in their self interest...




79.6% of custodial mothers receive a support award
29.9% of custodial fathers receive a support award.

46.9% of non-custodial mothers totally default on support.
26.9% of non-custodial fathers totally default on support.

46.2% of single custodial mothers receive public assistance.
20.8% of single custodial fathers receive public assistance.
[Technical Analysis Paper No. 42 - U.S. Dept. of Health and Human Services - Office of Income Security Policy]



Do the numbers not illustrate that woman default on even larger numbers than men?

Do the numbers not demonstrate that men pay their child support more than woman?

Do the numbers not demonstrate that woman wallow up to the public trough in larger numbers...
 Silverhawk_tkn
Joined: 12/3/2010
Msg: 544
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Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 2/8/2011 7:25:32 AM

I fvcking love it.

A couple of years ago, you were coming across as the martyr who was going it alone, not hitting your ex for CS. Then, the kids want to move in with him, you get pissed off and take him to court to collect all of the CS that you originally decided you could do without.

Or, is it the other ex you're hitting for the $23K? Shit, might as well hit both of them. It's hardly fair to nail one and not the other, after all.

You really are a prize. I envy your current suck....er... um... SO....

You are the kind of prize I will continually warn my sons about.



.....could NOT have written that better. She is freakin scary.....she really is......and typical of many of the women out there........

Glad she's posting for all to see, tho.......
 mrcs84
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 545
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Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 2/8/2011 7:47:32 AM
But did you actually ask if she was on birth control, or just assume she was on birth control?

I'm sure this question is just as infrequent as the question of "when was the last time you were tested?"


Plus, it is just dumb and silly to leave your fate in the hands of another person.
Even if you find her untrustworthy, birth control can fail, and the user may make an error. Or what if she is on birth control, but the method isn't right for her?

And how lovely to think that people so incompetent are having kids.


Condom sense guys! Condoms and spermicide are cheap and available over the counter.

Thanks for the sex ed lesson. What ever would we have done without you?


Given the amount of men who whine non-stop on these forums about having to support their children, Im fairly confident this kind of money-grubbing behavior is a rampant characteristic of men.



Not exactly money-grubbing when the money you worked for is taken from you AND you're never really sure what that money is going toward.
 BigBadNIrish
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 546
Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 2/8/2011 1:09:30 PM
I actually adopted (seemed like a good idea at the time) my ex-wifes daughter in a marriage that ended in 1984, and paid child support for that child as well as my own bio-child...for a while I was resentful of the fact I was paying support for a child that wasn't my bio child...and then it hit me...

If the childs natural father wasn't paying support-and he wasn't having skipped the authorities-then that lack of support would effect my natural daughters life style....so, I pulled up my bootstraps and moved on-leaving all that drama and turmoil behind me....knowing that ultimately the right thing was being done for both daughters.
 Tealwood
Joined: 12/16/2008
Msg: 547
Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 2/8/2011 4:25:36 PM

wallow up to the public trough



I think you mean waddle. Oh, and



So kind of you to point something out like that.....but wallow was what I meant to say,...

: to become or remain helpless

to roll oneself about in a lazy, relaxed, or ungainly manner




most single custodial parents live either at or just below the poverty line, you can bet if your kid has a roof over their heads, food on the table and clothes on their back, your uber precious pittance of child support is being put to good use.


Only the single mothers Dreamcatcher...only the single mothers...those unwilling to work or those who work less than 36hrs a week.....

But where is the comprehension or numbers that allow you to suggest most?


46.2% of single custodial mothers receive public assistance.
20.8% of single custodial fathers receive public assistance.
[Technical Analysis Paper No. 42 - U.S. Dept. of Health and Human Services - Office of Income Security Policy]


Now how does one come up with most....when the number is 20%?????but that is only the custodial fathers....46% or 1/2 of the woman...perhaps the way to eliminate poverty for children is not allow automatic custody...unless they can prove them self financially capable?

 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 548
Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 2/8/2011 4:32:57 PM
Given the amount of men who whine non-stop on these forums about having to support their children, Im fairly confident this kind of money-grubbing behavior is a rampant characteristic of men.


Well, many of us guys who pay support don't have a problem with the CS, per se. The problem is that many women see it as a reason not to work to bring as much financially to the table as they are capable of doing which would REALLY be in the best interests of the child. Most of us 'get' that a custodial parent needs to stay with a kid more until the kid gets to school, but, really, when a kid is 12 or older what's keeping a woman from working full-time?

Come on, even us half-time dads know how much effort it REALLY takes to 'be there' for our kids to ensure they grow up healthy, wealthy and wise.

You can't snow the snowman....but the snowbroads keep tryin'....

 mrcs84
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 551
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Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 2/8/2011 5:54:18 PM

And any STD's or unwanted pregnancies that ensue are the fault of the person who didnt protect themself. Surely you know there is stuff like AIDS floating around, and that sex is designed for procreation, so if you want to have sex for pleasure, unless you are married and have been STD tested and want to have children, using condoms can save you from a lot of nasty unwanted stuff.
And a baby isnt the worst thing that can happen to you. Imagine getting Aids or warts or sores on your man-parts, doesnt sound appealing does it!!?? I had an unplanned pregnancy as a young girl, and i leanred very well that you cant just get caught up in the heat of the moment, sex is nice but to use it for fun rather than buiding a family, you cant just get caught in the heat of the moment, protection is necessary, unless you are trying for a baby. It amazes me that men my own age, and even middle aged ones, dont grasp that.
Im no prude, a healthy sex life is a must for me, but i truly think you have to be a mature adult who takes responsiblity for oneself to indulge in sex cor pleasure rather than procreation.


You can stop preaching to the choir at any time now.
 ohwhynot46
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 552
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Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 2/8/2011 7:14:51 PM
How sickening to see you all still here, hell bent on nothing more than an argument intended to cut down the opposite gender. BigBadNIrish is much more of an example of what I consider to be a decent human being. Tealwood, frankly, your spouting off meaningless numbers is tiresome, and has long since ceased to affect those of us with a modicum of intelligence; you are dismissed. Capitano, I applaud you as one of those who, in real life, does the right thing, but your distorted view of women indicates only your personal, seemingly poor choices.

Bottom line is that the majority of single parents, men & women alike, do what they believe to be the best thing for their kids. The majority of those in a failed (or failing) relationship spend a bit of time being selfish, placing all the blame & the cots on the other party, failing to acknowledge what they agreed upon during the relationship, as far as their children are concerned, failing to acknowledge both the input & the sacrifice on the part of the other.

Children aside, buyer beware. Learn from your mistakes... blah, blah, blah.... if any of you feel so strongly one way or the other, act accordingly, choose wisely, lest you find yourself posting here forever.
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