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 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 535
Paying child support for kids that are not yoursPage 13 of 30    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30)

Noticing that no men have answered my questions. Thought so.


What? These vvvvvvvv lame questions?

Here:


Why do men knock up untrustworthy skeezers?


- women lie about BC
- many women like to use FATE as their BC of choice
- too many men are stupid and trust women to be responsible with BC
- believe it or not, women often don't show their true colours until they are walking out the door and forever after they leave ....

.... skeezerness is fairly easy to spot, but not so much the untrustworthy bit..

Another thing stems from the thing I've mentioned many times before in the fora is that for most women at the beginning of the relationship it's all about the LOoooove, but at the end, it's all about the MOOoooooooney, Honey!

Skanky, money-grubbing behaviour from women often only shows up after a relationship ends.

Not sure if it's the same with guys when they leave.


Why arent they using protection?


- they're fvcking idiots
- they're fvcking idiots because they believe what women tell them
- they're fvcking idiots

Happy now?

 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 9/26/2009
Msg: 536
Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 2/7/2011 5:14:55 PM
(jenn8131) Saying that women don't have a good work ethic.


Again, he said nothing even REMOTELY close to what you're alleging he said. Why do you feel the need to answer what you WISH he'd said, instead of what he ACTUALLY DID say?


(from a later post) Your list makes it sound like men are better workers than women.


Only to a thin-skinned woman with a not-so-hidden inferiority complex the size of Stuttgart. A CONFIDANT woman would never leap to such a conclusion...

Arlo...
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 9/26/2009
Msg: 537
Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 2/7/2011 5:25:33 PM

(jenn8131) What about the huge tax breaks that corporations get in Canada.


If you wanna argue how corporate tax breaks are bad, then do so. I, and probably most of the people here, would agree with you to a point. Don't argue that "corporate tax breaks = social welfare programs". That's just sloppy logic, and it hurts my tummy...

Arlo...
 My I
Joined: 1/23/2007
Msg: 538
Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 2/7/2011 6:03:18 PM

Crazy crazy women these days... kind of scary for any guys out there

In these last few posts by women:

Women doing drugs while they are pregnant is a very complex issue.

^^^ No, it's not complex. But keep pretending it is different than a man who has addiction problems. The only complexities I see with women who abuse a fetus via drug/alcohol use, is that they are not charged under the criminal code for abuse. A man slaps a woman and he is arrested (rightfully so). A woman causes fetal alcohol syndrome or leaves a baby in the N.I.C.U. of the local hospital for withdrawal management after birth while she goes home to "crank one up" with her boyfriend and she's adored for being a mother.

There is a double standard and it's quite prevelant. However, those who have a chip on their shoulder and want to make lame-ass suggestions that pre-natal drug use is a "complex" issue, needs to get their head out of their ass and stop pretending you don't have gendetr issues.

That also goes for the one who posted:

How about men who become nomadic and work under the table so they can't have court-ordered child support taken out of their paychecks? Do these men give a damn if their offspring are living under a bridge?
People who endanger or abandon their children, or begrudge the money that goes to feed, clothe and shelter the child, now THAT'S intolerable.


The courts can take care of deadbeats. But they can't take care of selfish addicts and drunks...... get your priorities straight.
 My I
Joined: 1/23/2007
Msg: 539
Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 2/7/2011 6:51:44 PM

I was on Mat leave from 1 full-time job and 2 part-time jobs when I figured out that I wasn't that much further behind income wise if I were to take a part-time position with the company that I was employed full-time with. Not a tough choice...Really it is simple math and came down to my social responsibility to raise the children I had birthed.

I'm not going to search for the post unless you want to make an issue out of it. You clearly stated that you worked hard in order to permit yourself to work part time; I think you referred to it as a "Plan". Well, I guess we know what your plan was.

Now, it comes out that your ex is paying fees, the government is giving you money and your wealthy family is supplementing your life as a mother of 5 kids (your words, not mine).

That's great your family is there for the kids. But this is where the bullshit starts. You chomp at men who are going it alone; men who are self-sufficient and men who are working full time with no other financial help, ridiculing them for earning money while you, "for the best interest of the children" stay at home and take money from others and other sources

You should have no right demanding anything from a non-bio-dad given your outlook about your own responsibilities. As I said before, you are not teaching your kids a good lesson in regards to independance.
 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 540
Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 2/7/2011 8:34:36 PM
I bet your just seething that in a few months my Ex will probably be on the hook for $23,000 in arears...Personally, I can't wait to see how much he will bargin his own son away for...because there is a price. sadd really.


I fvcking love it.

A couple of years ago, you were coming across as the martyr who was going it alone, not hitting your ex for CS. Then, the kids want to move in with him, you get pissed off and take him to court to collect all of the CS that you originally decided you could do without.

Or, is it the other ex you're hitting for the $23K? Shit, might as well hit both of them. It's hardly fair to nail one and not the other, after all.

You really are a prize. I envy your current suck....er... um... SO....

You are the kind of prize I will continually warn my sons about.

 Tealwood
Joined: 12/16/2008
Msg: 543
Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 2/8/2011 5:41:15 AM

I'm fairly confident this kind of money-grubbing behavior is a rampant characteristic of men. Probably more so than with women


Must be the blond???? as the numbers have been mentioned numerous times...there are many things individuals have been fairly confident in,...until they open their eyes and minds and review some of the potential facts....instead of regurgitating myths that others perpetuate in their self interest...




79.6% of custodial mothers receive a support award
29.9% of custodial fathers receive a support award.

46.9% of non-custodial mothers totally default on support.
26.9% of non-custodial fathers totally default on support.

46.2% of single custodial mothers receive public assistance.
20.8% of single custodial fathers receive public assistance.
[Technical Analysis Paper No. 42 - U.S. Dept. of Health and Human Services - Office of Income Security Policy]



Do the numbers not illustrate that woman default on even larger numbers than men?

Do the numbers not demonstrate that men pay their child support more than woman?

Do the numbers not demonstrate that woman wallow up to the public trough in larger numbers...
 Silverhawk_tkn
Joined: 12/3/2010
Msg: 544
view profile
History
Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 2/8/2011 7:25:32 AM

I fvcking love it.

A couple of years ago, you were coming across as the martyr who was going it alone, not hitting your ex for CS. Then, the kids want to move in with him, you get pissed off and take him to court to collect all of the CS that you originally decided you could do without.

Or, is it the other ex you're hitting for the $23K? Shit, might as well hit both of them. It's hardly fair to nail one and not the other, after all.

You really are a prize. I envy your current suck....er... um... SO....

You are the kind of prize I will continually warn my sons about.



.....could NOT have written that better. She is freakin scary.....she really is......and typical of many of the women out there........

Glad she's posting for all to see, tho.......
 mrcs84
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 545
view profile
History
Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 2/8/2011 7:47:32 AM
But did you actually ask if she was on birth control, or just assume she was on birth control?

I'm sure this question is just as infrequent as the question of "when was the last time you were tested?"


Plus, it is just dumb and silly to leave your fate in the hands of another person.
Even if you find her untrustworthy, birth control can fail, and the user may make an error. Or what if she is on birth control, but the method isn't right for her?

And how lovely to think that people so incompetent are having kids.


Condom sense guys! Condoms and spermicide are cheap and available over the counter.

Thanks for the sex ed lesson. What ever would we have done without you?


Given the amount of men who whine non-stop on these forums about having to support their children, Im fairly confident this kind of money-grubbing behavior is a rampant characteristic of men.



Not exactly money-grubbing when the money you worked for is taken from you AND you're never really sure what that money is going toward.
 BigBadNIrish
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 546
Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 2/8/2011 1:09:30 PM
I actually adopted (seemed like a good idea at the time) my ex-wifes daughter in a marriage that ended in 1984, and paid child support for that child as well as my own bio-child...for a while I was resentful of the fact I was paying support for a child that wasn't my bio child...and then it hit me...

If the childs natural father wasn't paying support-and he wasn't having skipped the authorities-then that lack of support would effect my natural daughters life style....so, I pulled up my bootstraps and moved on-leaving all that drama and turmoil behind me....knowing that ultimately the right thing was being done for both daughters.
 Tealwood
Joined: 12/16/2008
Msg: 547
Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 2/8/2011 4:25:36 PM

wallow up to the public trough



I think you mean waddle. Oh, and



So kind of you to point something out like that.....but wallow was what I meant to say,...

: to become or remain helpless

to roll oneself about in a lazy, relaxed, or ungainly manner




most single custodial parents live either at or just below the poverty line, you can bet if your kid has a roof over their heads, food on the table and clothes on their back, your uber precious pittance of child support is being put to good use.


Only the single mothers Dreamcatcher...only the single mothers...those unwilling to work or those who work less than 36hrs a week.....

But where is the comprehension or numbers that allow you to suggest most?


46.2% of single custodial mothers receive public assistance.
20.8% of single custodial fathers receive public assistance.
[Technical Analysis Paper No. 42 - U.S. Dept. of Health and Human Services - Office of Income Security Policy]


Now how does one come up with most....when the number is 20%?????but that is only the custodial fathers....46% or 1/2 of the woman...perhaps the way to eliminate poverty for children is not allow automatic custody...unless they can prove them self financially capable?

 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 548
Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 2/8/2011 4:32:57 PM
Given the amount of men who whine non-stop on these forums about having to support their children, Im fairly confident this kind of money-grubbing behavior is a rampant characteristic of men.


Well, many of us guys who pay support don't have a problem with the CS, per se. The problem is that many women see it as a reason not to work to bring as much financially to the table as they are capable of doing which would REALLY be in the best interests of the child. Most of us 'get' that a custodial parent needs to stay with a kid more until the kid gets to school, but, really, when a kid is 12 or older what's keeping a woman from working full-time?

Come on, even us half-time dads know how much effort it REALLY takes to 'be there' for our kids to ensure they grow up healthy, wealthy and wise.

You can't snow the snowman....but the snowbroads keep tryin'....

 mrcs84
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 551
view profile
History
Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 2/8/2011 5:54:18 PM

And any STD's or unwanted pregnancies that ensue are the fault of the person who didnt protect themself. Surely you know there is stuff like AIDS floating around, and that sex is designed for procreation, so if you want to have sex for pleasure, unless you are married and have been STD tested and want to have children, using condoms can save you from a lot of nasty unwanted stuff.
And a baby isnt the worst thing that can happen to you. Imagine getting Aids or warts or sores on your man-parts, doesnt sound appealing does it!!?? I had an unplanned pregnancy as a young girl, and i leanred very well that you cant just get caught up in the heat of the moment, sex is nice but to use it for fun rather than buiding a family, you cant just get caught in the heat of the moment, protection is necessary, unless you are trying for a baby. It amazes me that men my own age, and even middle aged ones, dont grasp that.
Im no prude, a healthy sex life is a must for me, but i truly think you have to be a mature adult who takes responsiblity for oneself to indulge in sex cor pleasure rather than procreation.


You can stop preaching to the choir at any time now.
 ohwhynot46
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 552
view profile
History
Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 2/8/2011 7:14:51 PM
How sickening to see you all still here, hell bent on nothing more than an argument intended to cut down the opposite gender. BigBadNIrish is much more of an example of what I consider to be a decent human being. Tealwood, frankly, your spouting off meaningless numbers is tiresome, and has long since ceased to affect those of us with a modicum of intelligence; you are dismissed. Capitano, I applaud you as one of those who, in real life, does the right thing, but your distorted view of women indicates only your personal, seemingly poor choices.

Bottom line is that the majority of single parents, men & women alike, do what they believe to be the best thing for their kids. The majority of those in a failed (or failing) relationship spend a bit of time being selfish, placing all the blame & the cots on the other party, failing to acknowledge what they agreed upon during the relationship, as far as their children are concerned, failing to acknowledge both the input & the sacrifice on the part of the other.

Children aside, buyer beware. Learn from your mistakes... blah, blah, blah.... if any of you feel so strongly one way or the other, act accordingly, choose wisely, lest you find yourself posting here forever.
 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 553
Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 2/8/2011 7:38:56 PM

Capitano...your distorted view of women indicates only your personal, seemingly poor choices.


Well, of course I've made many poor choices, and if the fact that I don't happen to buy the myth that women are flawless and "sugar and spice and everything nice" as so many would have us believe is wrong, then yeah, I'm guilty of a distorted view as charged.

I call 'em as I see 'em. Truth can be uncomfortable for many.

 My I
Joined: 1/23/2007
Msg: 554
Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 2/8/2011 9:23:37 PM

How sickening to see you all still here, hell bent on nothing more than an argument intended to cut down the opposite gender.

How fvcked up of you to pop into this thread and dump on guys... and not mention any woman's behaviour in this thread.

You're so predictable in what you do and what you say. In nearly every thread you enter with certain participants you dump on guys and then say something rhetorical like:

Learn from your mistakes... blah, blah, blah.... if any of you feel so strongly one way or the other, act accordingly, choose wisely, lest you find yourself posting here forever

What's worse? Posting forever or popping in once in a while to tell the men they are sickening?

Hail to the pompous!
 Tealwood
Joined: 12/16/2008
Msg: 555
Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 2/9/2011 2:49:46 AM

Tealwood, frankly, your spouting off meaningless numbers is tiresome, and has long since ceased to affect those of us with a modicum of intelligence; you are dismissed.


If they were meaningless...you would be illustrating the point...the fact you are unable to have anything to say to counter or challenge the premise...or the illustrated demographics trends suggests you are unable to articulate an arguement that demonstrates this is an aberration.

Many individuals in life have set forth on a path that they felt was in the best interest of their children....but not all parents make the correct choices in life in terms of how they raise their children or the path they choose to travel.



Capitano, I applaud you as one of those who, in real life, does the right thing,


I think that is because you pay full cs despite you only have the children 50% of the time...you are applauded for supporting the ex wife who cannot or is not willing to support herself....but chastised for expecting or suggesting the woman are not able or not willing to fulfill the same financial responsibilities that they demand of fathers.

You would be a better guy it seems if you were bent over and smiled and said thank you to your ex wife while taking it up the wazoo....after all she is doing what is best for your child that you share together...even when he is in your care...why should she tire herself out working????


But I love the suggestion that the guys agreed to the wife staying home...talked to many guys...they never agreed...they never suggested...but sometimes it is a battle that one can never win...like the Chinese water torture...the incessant nattering of the woman who is not wanting to go back to the deary job....
 Tealwood
Joined: 12/16/2008
Msg: 556
Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 2/9/2011 2:54:17 AM

We have to take responsibility for our actions.


ohwhynot???? your words...so why is expecting the custodial mother to be financially responsible in the same manner as the father wrong?

Your moral compass moves daily I would suggest....
 BigBadNIrish
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 557
Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 2/9/2011 5:35:15 AM

so why is expecting the custodial mother to be financially responsible in the same manner as the father wrong?

Your moral compass moves daily I would suggest....


While I do know there are abuses of CS...I fear that perhaps every man here feels they've been the victim of the CS system. Frankly, it's not reality.

I also find that every man here is attempting to make someone else be responsible-the ex-crontrol her still...gads, why bother...having been there, as I've said, all that is accomplished is creating turmoil and drama in your own life-that is way beyond your control. Now ya'll are entitled to bash the ex all you want....bash the system all you want...cry in your beer all yo want...I ask to what end???

I will also point out that the attempt to control and force responsibility upon someone else, unless you've decided to bring the matter to court, is such an out-of-self-control behavoir, that the longer it continues the more bizarre the person seems to the general public....eg...I can hear your friends whispering behind your back...is he every gonna let it go???
 My I
Joined: 1/23/2007
Msg: 558
Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 2/9/2011 9:15:23 AM

You want a custodial mother to not only have to do the day to day work for caring for the children, keep the house cleaned with more than one person living in it

I do that....

be in charge of discipline, schoolwork, get back and forth to appointments/activities

I do that.....

but you also want her to work just as many hours with about the same pay as the father

I work full time, overtime and help out those in need of my skilled trade experience. So, again:
I do that.......

Not only that,but they're the ones who have to take the ding if a kid is sick, in trouble, needs extra attention, etc.

I do that.....

I also do house repairs, cut the lawn, maintain the vehicles.


Either I am a superdad or moms like you describe are complainers and underachievers.
 My I
Joined: 1/23/2007
Msg: 559
Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 2/9/2011 3:48:56 PM

Or you're lying/overestimating the amount of work you actually do

No.... I think you're describing an underachiever. Because, as you want to pretend:

That's basically 2 full time jobs to his one.

I work with several hundred single moms. They do all that you describe and they hold a job that is mostly shift work. So, when you speak in terms of stay-at-home moms "basically" have two jobs. Well.... I know moms who "Literally" have two jobs - and sometimes three jobs..... you're a whiner!

Maybe you should attain a part time job, raise five kids and have time to join the PTA to complain that girls are grossly mistreated in regards to highschool sports.... I can refer you to such a hard working, overachieving woman - she'd be a great inspration for you.
 My I
Joined: 1/23/2007
Msg: 560
Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 2/9/2011 4:22:48 PM
The non custodial parent in my equation needs confirmation of contact with several days in advance "because he has other things going on in his life".

It gets worse..

Ya know what? I think it's single moms who are very judgmental. My ex, like you, must think non-custodial parents do nothing but wait for your call for them to come running.

I worked my ass of for many years while paying support - I still work hard. I worked very hard and it got to the point where people thought I was a workaholic... but I worked to survive.... sometimes seven days straight for several weeks at a time.

When my ex called for me to take the kids on unscheduled days I couldn't many times because I was scheduled to work and/or had work that had to be completed. She went on a pissy rant. She acused me of being derelict. But, in the same breath, she would ask me to buy mittens, sneakers, clothes, etc., for the kids.

Maybe give some non-custodial credit for having the financial resources to provide extras for the children as opposed to b!tching because they aren't available at the snap of your fingers.

I've been on both sides of the divorced parent thing and child support issues - be happy where you are because it's much easier making demands (and whining) as opposed to having demands forced down your throat by an ex
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 9/26/2009
Msg: 562
Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 2/9/2011 5:25:27 PM
Somewhat off-topic, but I REALLY WISH that certain people here would make an effort to PROPERLY ATTRIBUTE the statements they're replying to. I mean, SERIOUSLY, how am I gonna go back and jump on the right person, if I don't know who said what?

Really, some of you need to start being more considerate of others...

Arlo...
 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 563
Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 2/9/2011 6:27:12 PM

Somewhat off-topic, but I REALLY WISH that certain people here would make an effort to PROPERLY ATTRIBUTE the statements they're replying to. I mean, SERIOUSLY, how am I gonna go back and jump on the right person, if I don't know who said what?

Really, some of you need to start being more considerate of others...


Sorry, man....

You're a big poopie-head. You, Arlo, you are a poopie-head. Stop saying things about us single moms....

... poopie-head.

 ohwhynot46
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 564
view profile
History
Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 2/9/2011 6:40:20 PM

How fvcked up of you to pop into this thread and dump on guys... and not mention any woman's behaviour in this thread


Let's see.. go back a few pages. Are you referring to message 730, posted by a woman? Take a look at message 732 & I believe it's message 742, posted by women. Even some negative comments directed toward men aren't nearly as full of venom or generalizations as the ones I directed my comments to. I base my reactions on the comments posted, not the gender of the poster.


ohwhynot???? your words...so why is expecting the custodial mother to be financially responsible in the same manner as the father wrong?

Your moral compass moves daily I would suggest...


I certainly do expect a custodial parent of either gender to be financially responsible, and I expect that a member of either gender be treated fairly in that regard after a breakup just as before. I would no more expect a man who had agreed to put a career on hold to suddenly be able to earn an amount sufficient to completely support his children than I would a woman.
As far as what you suggest, well, you "suggest" that 23% of, oh, perhaps, 30% of fathers is the same as 23% of men, as if anyone with a brain wouldn't recognize the difference, and the slant with which you present statistics. I couldn't care less about your suggestions.
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