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 SweetnessInFlorida
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 162
Paying child support for kids that are not yoursPage 5 of 30    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30)
Because as that time i just wanted to move on and not file, i decided that since i wanted the child and he didnt that i would not ask for support.
My choice weather anyone likes it or not.
I thought it through it wasnt a rash unthought decision.
Myself and my husband who legally adopted her have provided for her, she is not lacking or suffering in any way.
We are friends because we want to be. We do have a child in common. I never have hated him nor has he hated me, again, it wasnt about hate just wanting different things.
I dont "love" him, but i would absolutely call him a friend.
 ohwhynot46
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 163
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Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 11/25/2010 6:21:42 AM
Again, this thread is not about mandatory DNA testing, but:


You just proved that mandatory testing at birth should be legislated - mom is the only one laughing at this situation.

Ken and Raymond can fight over paternity while mom sits in the corner with her bag of popcorn and enjoys the show. Every time you women bring up an issue about paternity and/or support, the mom is the least affected... maybe that's why some moms love to argue such issues so much - they have nothing to lose.


What it does prove is that perhaps Ken & Raymond should have had the test done, period. It is not proof that every citizen should be forced to have & pay for a test if they deem such test to be unnecessary and/or unwanted. Your statement that mom is least affected when it comes to paternal support is quite ridiculous, and says far more than you may be aware. Sad for you.
 My I
Joined: 1/23/2007
Msg: 164
Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 11/25/2010 6:08:21 PM

What it does prove is that perhaps Ken & Raymond should have had the test done, period. It is not proof that every citizen should be forced to have & pay for a test if they deem such test to be unnecessary and/or unwanted. Your statement that mom is least affected when it comes to paternal support is quite ridiculous, and says far more than you may be aware. Sad for you

Let's see.... mom lies.... mom lives on with everyone else living in her lie... and she's affected, you say?
You're right in the sense that she was caught and now it does have an effect on her reputation.

Go back to the DNA thread and pretend all women have the right to welfare and social benefits through taxpayers while also suggesting they do not have the obligation to prove the father is who they named.

My daughter just told me of her friend, she's 17 years old, just learned this past year that "her father" is not really her father....... this was learned during divorce precedings. But you think tax dollars wasted this way are more justified than a few dollars to prove paternity at birth - give it up!

If men can be easily labelled as deadbeats then don't be offended if moms can be labelled cheaters - it seems women's behaviour is coming back to kick themselves in the ass.
 ohwhynot46
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 165
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Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 11/25/2010 7:23:05 PM

Let's see.... mom lies.... mom lives on with everyone else living in her lie... and she's affected, you say?
You're right in the sense that she was caught and now it does have an effect on her reputation.


You are taking one very specific instance, hardly indicative of the majority of the group you intend to describe, and applying it to "mom".


Go back to the DNA thread and pretend all women have the right to welfare and social benefits through taxpayers while also suggesting they do not have the obligation to prove the father is who they named.


I don't have to go anywhere, nor do I have to pretend anything, and I never suggested anything other than that each individual should be responsible & accountable for their own actions.

[quoteMy daughter just told me of her friend, she's 17 years old, just learned this past year that "her father" is not really her father....... this was learned during divorce precedings. But you think tax dollars wasted this way are more justified than a few dollars to prove paternity at birth - give it up!

Why you do feel the constant need to tell others what they think? I doubt you truly lack comprehension, as it seems fairly evident that you are simply unable to get past your own issues.


If men can be easily labelled as deadbeats then don't be offended if moms can be labelled cheaters - it seems women's behaviour is coming back to kick themselves in the ass.


Anyone who cheats deserves the label of cheater. I don't recall arguing otherwise. I fail to see an actual point anywhere in your ramblings. I hope you feel better, though!
 My I
Joined: 1/23/2007
Msg: 166
Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 11/26/2010 4:50:36 PM

You are taking one very specific instance, hardly indicative of the majority of the group you intend to describe, and applying it to "mom"

Given the fact you refuse to acknowledge there is a problem with paternity fraud, you really shouldn't criticise other's views. The fact that it has become a political issue does indicate there is a problem. I think once it becomes investigated moreso than it has, you'll finally pull your head out of the sand. But then again, knowing your personality to always be right - you won't.
Besides, we were talking about two specific males who were duped.

Why you do feel the constant need to tell others what they think?

It's an opinion of what i think is going on in your (and other's) head, that's all. Stop taking things so literal and personal.... if it offends you, maybe I am right.

as it seems fairly evident that you are simply unable to get past your own issues.

^^^ Says one who bites like a pit-bull whenever challenged/disagreed with
 SweetnessInFlorida
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 167
Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 11/27/2010 2:06:41 PM
MYI do you think anyone with a vagina and uterus is evil and out to lie and manipulate and ruin the poor innocent menfolk?
 My I
Joined: 1/23/2007
Msg: 168
Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 11/27/2010 5:35:34 PM

MYI do you think anyone with a vagina and uterus is evil and out to lie and manipulate and ruin the poor innocent menfolk?

If you think I believe that to be true, then I guess my answer is "Yes". But, if you want the truth my answer is "No".

I don't think any gender has the market cornered on evil. I do believe that women seem to have a lower opinion of themselves moreso than men. I also believe that women are the meanest amongst their own gender. I see it within my line of relatives and at work - the women are always b!tching, comparing and demeaning each other.

Maybe that's why there are so many negative comments about the way women are percieved. I'll admit I have little concern for those (either gender) who always blame someone else for their own life situation.

I do believe there should be more focus on accountability with the bio-parents. It seems that laws are more stringent on non-bio parents and that's totally screwed up.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 169
Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 11/28/2010 7:25:59 AM
^^^^Pit,,,,you do know that you constantly coming back, chirping,counterattacking, and repeating your (sob)story is proving MY I's opinions and thoughts?????

If not,,,you do now.
There comes a point when enough is enough,,,right???
 ohwhynot46
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 170
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Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 11/28/2010 4:38:13 PM

I don't think any gender has the market cornered on evil. I do believe that women seem to have a lower opinion of themselves moreso than men. I also believe that women are the meanest amongst their own gender. I see it within my line of relatives and at work - the women are always b!tching, comparing and demeaning each other.


I think you need a new family & a new job!
 Tealwood
Joined: 12/16/2008
Msg: 171
Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 11/28/2010 7:44:30 PM

Take advice, for once in your life, and get counselling and therapy to resolve your own issues, before you turn your misogynous feelings into a reason for bullyish behaviour.



But what I won't accept is to be harassed away from participating in forums I have been visiting for three years just because some man has issues with his ex.


Please...what ever you do...dont allow some comments to drive you away....you are needed...you are the poster woman for the self entitled,,,, and refusal to acknowledge that they also might have some responsibility for why things are the way they are in the marriage breakdown..and why the ex partner is no longer involved....as they are not allowed to give an MP3 player to their daughter...and their parents cannot give barbie dolls to their grand child...because you do not feel it is appropriate....

LOL...we need that type of reasonable rational woman to support the premise that we are suggesting!!

You are needed....Pit
 My I
Joined: 1/23/2007
Msg: 172
Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 11/28/2010 7:51:38 PM

I think you need a new family & a new job!

Ya, right..... new location, new people... same bullsh!t. That's a real problem solving formula. It's kinda like an abused woman moving on to a new relationship that offers the same abuse..... no thanks, Rosie
 Live1983
Joined: 4/11/2008
Msg: 173
Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 11/29/2010 7:37:58 AM
If it's an issue for you get a DNA test, my father supported my oldest brother in EVERY way even knowing he was not his, for some men DNA isn't the end all question LOVE is.
 My I
Joined: 1/23/2007
Msg: 174
Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 11/29/2010 3:19:09 PM

If it's an issue for you get a DNA test, my father supported my oldest brother in EVERY way even knowing he was not his, for some men DNA isn't the end all question LOVE is

And your mother was in love too, right?
 Live1983
Joined: 4/11/2008
Msg: 175
Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 11/29/2010 4:31:11 PM
With my father? Of course. My father says he loved her from date one and my brother from the first time he met him. If anything knowing my Mom was a strong independent Mother made him respect her and see that she was more then just another girl.
 ohwhynot46
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 176
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Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 11/29/2010 6:25:53 PM
Good for you Live! You have brought a sense of the reality all too easily forgotten here. There are many, many good people, men & women alike. They love & care for children, both their own & not their own, because they love & care for them, period. They do the right thing because it is the right thing, period. They admit that they err & they don't expect that others never do so, period. They feel, and they are responsible for their own choices, their own mistakes & their own judgments, period. They don't feel the need to make everything an issue of gender, age or anything else in order to make up for their own shortcomings, period.

Truth is, I believe that the majority of the posters here do actually do the right thing. Unfortunately, some are embittered by having done so, and simple can not accept the fact that life isn't fair, we make our own circumstances, and in the end, life is good (for the most part). Thanks!
 My I
Joined: 1/23/2007
Msg: 177
Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 11/29/2010 7:18:03 PM

With my father? Of course. My father says he loved her from date one and my brother from the first time he met him. If anything knowing my Mom was a strong independent Mother made him respect her and see that she was more then just another girl

I misinterpretted your post. When you spoke of the DNA test I thought you were suggesting your mother got pregnant from another man while in a relationship with your father - my bad. There is nothing wrong with the situation of your parents - it's very common. I think the entire issue is really about the sense of entitlement some women impose on the non-bio-dad while leaving the bio-dad to turn his back on her and the child(ren).

It's a double standard for mom to have one set of standards for the non-bio-dad while being totally aloof in respects to the bio-dad.
 My I
Joined: 1/23/2007
Msg: 178
Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 11/29/2010 8:40:26 PM

They don't feel the need to make everything an issue of gender

Once again, you bring up the issue of gender and try to suggest it's everyone else with the gender issues. I'm willing to bet male suicide rate would be extremely high in your house.
lol - lighten up with the penis-haters crap

Truth is, I believe that the majority of the posters here do actually do the right thing. Unfortunately, some are embittered by having done so, and simple can not accept the fact that life isn't fair

Embitterred?
Review your last 25 posts and take note of the sparring you've been doing with "some" posters here..... and you've been doing it on a regular basis. Basic psychology suggests your behaviour circumvents your own issues - so get off your high horse and take off those rose colored glasses, sweetheart........You're just as bitter aas anyone else here.

Ohbecause46, don't chomp me for being off topic (another one of your traits) - you're guilty of it as well.
 ohwhynot46
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 179
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Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 11/30/2010 7:51:25 PM

Review your last 25 posts and take note of the sparring you've been doing with "some" posters here..... and you've been doing it on a regular basis. Basic psychology suggests your behaviour circumvents your own issues - so get off your high horse and take off those rose colored glasses, sweetheart........You're just as bitter aas anyone else here.


If you have time to review anyone;s last 25 posts, I pity your kids! Basic psychology would have quite a lot to say about that, but really, who cares?


Ohbecause46, don't chomp me for being off topic (another one of your traits) - you're guilty of it as well.


I don't see where your quote addresses being off topic, but again, who cares? Certainly I admit to calling them as I see them, but I fail to see what that has to do with your assumed response. I have, on at least one occasion, admitted that I believe that you do in fact "do the right thing: when it comes to your own children, even though I call into question, with no apologies, your statements regarding your "waiting it out" while you left your own children in the care of a potentially harmful person, with whom, btw, you CHOSE to have a relationship, and children, with. My point is that you are completely unwilling to give the slightest bit of slack to anyone else, whilst expecting all to surrround their view of your own situation with your personal vision. Get real, that's all!
 My I
Joined: 1/23/2007
Msg: 180
Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 11/30/2010 8:22:55 PM

If you have time to review anyone;s last 25 posts, I pity your kids!

It takes five minutes to read your posts..... maybe you need all night to read short comments. Who knows?

even though I call into question, with no apologies, your statements regarding your "waiting it out" while you left your own children in the care of a potentially harmful person

You obviously haven't been reading about the way Ontario, Canada treats seperation and mom's rights vs dad's rights. It's totally fvcked up and totally politically motivated. I had agencies involved regularly... over the course of several years.

Besides, it was her 4th husband who was the a$$hole. Her 3rd husband was a decent guy, I actually liked him as a person - the kids did too.


My point is that you are completely unwilling to give the slightest bit of slack to anyone else, whilst expecting all to surrround their view of your own situation with your personal vision. Get real, that's all!

^^^You speak just as assertively as I do yet, for some vaginal reason, you think it's ok,,, and I'm an a$$. Are you even cognisant of your own behaviour?

You'd be a woman from hell if you lived in ontario and went through a canadian divorce. It's short sighted women like you who blame the men for choosing the woman as opposed to focussing on the woman being a total train wreck once life doesn't go her way - hence the reason the fvcked up canadian women (not the women with brains and dignity) love the candian family court system.

Men with money in canada have women fighting over them.... ya ever wonder why?
 mrcs84
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 181
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Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 12/1/2010 12:36:19 AM
So a single mom is with guy A for X amount of time, and then guy B for X amount of time, and then guy C for X amount of time. Are all of those men obligated to this child because there was some degree of emotional investment? And why should they be obligated to continue investing at all? The relationship was terminated, and unless some kind of agreement was made between the former couple, any and all ties should be severed as well.
 SweetnessInFlorida
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 182
Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 12/1/2010 12:37:45 AM
Men with money would be considered prime catches anywhere, not just Canada.
 My I
Joined: 1/23/2007
Msg: 183
Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 12/1/2010 8:20:23 PM

But that's the merry go round of dating as a single parent

Unfortunately, it is a circus act in some cases.

It's my opinion that a single mom should not have the right to pursue support from a non-bio-dad if she isn't collecting support from the bio-dad......There should be no exceptions to the rule unless the children's health and welfare would be compromised. When I say compromised, I'm not speaking about mom's opinion of what 'compromised" is.
 S.O.U.L
Joined: 11/23/2009
Msg: 184
Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 12/3/2010 10:49:13 AM

I am sure the Canadian government has measured the real costs of emotional damage and the health and welfare of children (that have been tossed away by certain lil boy's pretending to be men) very carefully and decided to srew over all males when it comes to obligations and child support...leagally speaking of


Who are you refering to as "lil boys pretending to be men"...the guy who knocked you up but itsnt supporting your children and your not going after for that support or the non bio parent who got with you despite your situation and is now expected to pay for children that isnt his?

Women today love dropping the "real man" card on any guy doesnt cater to their BS or self created drama. If women today really knew what a real man was they wouldnt have kids with men who dont take care of them emotionally or financially. Too many women are more concerned with whether a man is tall enough for her to wear heals instead whether the man she is about to lay down with (and possible have a child with) is the type of man who takes pride in himself and takes personal pride in taking care of his family or potential family.
 mrcs84
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 185
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Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 12/3/2010 12:13:58 PM

Why is it so hard for some to concede and acknowledge the FACT that it is EXTREMELY rare for a woman t get support from a non-bio Dad...and in those cases there are OBVIOUS patterns and gestures made by the man


Fact eh? Where are you getting these "facts?"


All I see is a bunch of men (or women..again unbiased here) who want to measure the finacial losses instead of considering the long term emotional damages to a child.


Some of us don't have hearts that bleed as badly as yours does. Some of us are trying to give the guys out there a little credit for trying to date a single mother. There are certainly guys out there that can see past the fact that a woman sired a b@stard child (well...40% of them) and are willing to accept that she made a mistake. But I as the saying goes, no good deed goes unpunished.
 S.O.U.L
Joined: 11/23/2009
Msg: 186
Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 12/3/2010 1:22:13 PM
he can have the best of both worlds having a Mommy to do his laundry and an on call Fck....he should pay for it dearly! JMOT

In the U.S. I believe we call that prostitution.
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