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 Silverhawk_tkn
Joined: 12/3/2010
Msg: 393
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Paying child support for kids that are not yoursPage 9 of 30    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30)

my kids turning into fine respectable young adults...


......seriously? With YOU as their role model?.......now THATs funny!!
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 394
Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 1/14/2011 9:58:11 AM
Somebody can't tell when their leg is being pulled, I guess.
I see nothing in recent posts to indicate that these 2 mothers are committing REAL crimes, abusing them, or doing anything other than making sure the children get the financial resources due them. So let's leave people's abilities to rear children out of this, shall we??

The OT was about paternity FRAUD....a woman passing children off as being her husbands' when they were not biologically his offspring, and the man still being required to pay child support when the marriage broke up. I don't disagree that this seems, and probably IS, unfair. Guess what? LIFE isn't fair! Mixed up in all this are legal presumptions, the role the man has played in the life of the child(ren), the courts' objective to serve the best interests of the child...it's not that black and white.
Cindy O
 Silverhawk_tkn
Joined: 12/3/2010
Msg: 397
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Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 1/14/2011 12:25:45 PM

Somebody can't tell when their leg is being pulled, I guess.


Oh stop it.....of course everyone can see they are going over the top with their comments...I already told Sweetness I thought she was genuinely funny......please....


I see nothing in recent posts to indicate that these 2 mothers are committing REAL crimes, abusing them, or doing anything other than making sure the children get the financial resources due them.


I love how some women will just blow this whole issue off like there is nothing wrong....under the guise that its "all for the children".....wrong or not, they are "entitled" to it!! Men, just keep those payments coming!!..............


The OT was about paternity FRAUD....a woman passing children off as being her husbands' when they were not biologically his offspring, and the man still being required to pay child support when the marriage broke up


WRONG.......although the OT opens with paternity fraud, the whole issue of paying child support for non-bio kids goes well beyond paternity fraud and is a HUGE risk for anyone considering a relationship with someone that has kids under the age of 18 or in their first 4yrs of post secondary........this discussion is by NO means limited to paternity fraud.....
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 398
Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 1/14/2011 12:37:32 PM
I'll admit to having only skimmed thru this thread, but I had the impression the referenced check/cheque was for arrears in child support? When someone is not paying their cs obligation, regardless of the gender, where do you think the money is coming from to buy groceries and keep a roof over the children's heads?
Even if the money is coming from the state or province, rather than being additional burden on the custodial parent's resources, a "welfare check" is hardly the lap of luxury.

Speaking in general terms, there are many custodial parents who scrimp and scrape for years while the non-custodial parent doesn't contribute a damn dime.Not all single custodial parents go on "welfare" , many of them struggle on essentially unaided. If the state or provincial agency that administers child support catches up with a deadbeat non-custodial parent and manages to successfully collect child support arrears,what the receiving(custodial) parent does with it is no one's business, IMO. For every custodial parent who milks everything available, there is one working 3 jobs, or doing without things THEY need, in order to provide for their children. If they catch a break and actually GET some child support arrears, all that does is re-imburse him or her for things he or she did without when no child support payments were coming in.

A lot of people get involved with a custodial divorced parent because they LOVE that person and often ARE willing to share the burden of the children...I don't think presuming someone who willingly enters a relationship with an unpartnered custodial parent does so because they lack self esteem is a fair or accurate statement.
As for those who use withholding of court-ordered child support as vengeance against their ex, or someone who has WILLINGLY contributed to the sustenance of a stepchild withdraws that support because the relationship with the child's parent fell apart, IMO they have a piece of stitched leather where their heart ought to be.
Cindy O
 Silverhawk_tkn
Joined: 12/3/2010
Msg: 399
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Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 1/14/2011 12:49:16 PM
Cindy,

Read through some of the last few pages of this thread......here in Canada and in some states of the U.S. the custodial parent can recieve child support from more than one payer through "in-loco-parentis" rulings........its the "double or triple dip" that I have an issue with.......

My point in this thread is to avoid co-habitating with single parents as to not get caught in this kind of trap......you only need to co-habitate with a single parent for a pre-determined time to qualify for "in-loco-parentis", and if the relationship goes sideways, you could be liable for child support for kids that are NOT yours, regardless of how much child support the custodial parent may already be recieving and regardless of whether or not you've been percieved as a parent.......

Capitano is an example of one here on these forums that is in this kind of situation. Best to avoid the risk and NOT co-habitate with a single parent.

Read back through the thread......its all here (over, and over again......).....
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 401
Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 1/14/2011 12:59:45 PM
I'm well aware of the "in loco parentis" situation that can arise. I'm not saying that people should not be AWARE of that risk, but many people choose to marry or cohabit with a single parent despite the risk.
The other suggestion I have to offer is that those who feel that some child support laws are unfair, should join with some of the "non-custodial parents' interests" groups and bring the issues to those who can do something ABOUT it...your elected representatives.
I'll bet that a lot of those complaining now of having to pay for step-children married the childrens' custodial parent thinking that the relationship was going to last forever, and no matter what they were told about how their wallet could be assaulted in the event of the relationships' failure,they would have proceeded anyway.
Cindy O
edit to add;
I believe that whichever parent has custody, the noncustodial parent should pay child support. I GET what's being said about people collecting from multiple sources on one child,it is unfair but it is up to we the people to bring the injustice to the attention of those who can work to correct it. The bottom line is that if the child has become accustomed to a standard of living supplied by both support payments from the non-custodial parent AND also the benefits of income brought into the family by a step-parent(whether married or just cohabitation), how is it fair to the CHILD if that standard of living is yanked out from under him or her because their parent and step-parent broke up?
Yes, those who lead with their wallet will avoid any risk to it, and complain about any situation where they feel it's unjustly accessed. Those who lead with their hearts will run the risk.
If a solution is wanted, then why not remove all children from the custody of divorcing parents and let them BOTH pay the state or province to raise them, that way the child would never experience anything over a certain standard of living and only biological parents would be on the hook???
Cindy O
 Silverhawk_tkn
Joined: 12/3/2010
Msg: 402
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Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 1/14/2011 1:14:38 PM
I Agree with your comments, Cindy. There are groups banding together to change some of this, but it will take a long time. In the meantime, there will indeed be some who will take the risk, and those that won't. To each his own for sure. However, I abide by the old saying that "a fool and his money will soon be parted".....I won't be co-habitating anytime soon and I made this quite clear to my current GF.....

Thats just my point of view and mine only. Again, to each his (or her) own........:)
 My I
Joined: 1/23/2007
Msg: 403
Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 1/14/2011 1:17:27 PM

a "welfare check" is hardly the lap of luxury

^^^ In many cases, it's too bad this was not a consideration when they decided to p!ss away their education.

Speaking in general terms, there are many custodial parents who scrimp and scrape for years while the non-custodial parent doesn't contribute a damn dime

I'll somewhat agree with you. However, when a woman decides it's not worth pursuing the father for support she lacks a lot of credibility on the issue.

For every custodial parent who milks everything available, there is one working 3 jobs, or doing without things THEY need, in order to provide for their children

Fortunately, I think there are a more women who are survivors and possess a respectful level of pride and dignity vs those who feel they are entitled to get more out of life than they actually put into their own life.


But, still, there's no reason to intentionally try to p1ss people off during a serious discussion. If someone has nothing but jokes to add purely to annoy others, they need to find a more worthwhile hobby

^^^^^ It indicates the level of maturity. She's proud of it and her kids (well... maybe just her daughter) will learn to harbor that anger as well.
 Silverhawk_tkn
Joined: 12/3/2010
Msg: 404
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Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 1/14/2011 1:23:00 PM

Yes, those who lead with their wallet will avoid any risk to it, and complain about any situation where they feel it's unjustly accessed. Those who lead with their hearts will run the risk.


Incorrect. Has nothing to do with less "heart" if I decide not to take the risk. I have to preserve my ability to support my current obligations to my son. That would be compromised if I had to pay support for additional step-kids, therefore I CANNOT accept the risk, regardless if my heart tells me to or not.........
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 405
Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 1/14/2011 1:30:12 PM
Silverhawk
I am not unappreciative of the financial risks of remarriage or cohabitation, there are possible drawbacks in situations other than supporting minor children. But the courts are charged with looking out for the best interests of the CHILD(REN)-and a severe drop in standard of living if a step-parents' income is taken out of the household budget is most likely what's behind the expectation that an exiting step-parent should also contribute to PREVENT that drop in living standard.
Once you have brought a child into the world, regardless of gender, it's not just about YOU any more. Once you step up and contribute to an improved standard of living for step-children,even if they ARE getting some revenue from the bio parent, is it FAIR for the kid to suddenly lose a lot of things that their custodial parents' income and bio-parents' support payments can't cover when the step-parent exits the relationship, taking their income away from the household-because their parent and step-parent couldn't keep the marriage going?
Yes, I know it must look like a custodial mother who blows through a couple of marriages and collects CS from both fathers/father figures has made motherhood some kind of gravy train, but most unpartnered custodial mothers I know, even with child support payments, aren't even riding the BROTH train.
Cindy O
Edit to add- If you are already a non-custodial parent paying child support, I can understand your concern about having to stretch your income further to cover non-biological ex-stepkids. I GET it, really I do. You ARE recognizing that it's not all about you anymore. But some people WILL take that leap of faith because they believe that the marriage will last beyond when the children are all grown. And I'm sure that there are those who are paying cs to stepkids who feel that they ARE a father to those kids and accept that responsibility.
Cindy O
 Silverhawk_tkn
Joined: 12/3/2010
Msg: 407
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Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 1/14/2011 1:58:07 PM

I am not unappreciative of the financial risks of remarriage or cohabitation, there are possible drawbacks in situations other than supporting minor children. But the courts are charged with looking out for the best interests of the CHILD(REN)-and a severe drop in standard of living if a step-parents' income is taken out of the household budget is most likely what's behind the expectation that an exiting step-parent should also contribute to PREVENT that drop in living standard.
Once you have brought a child into the world, regardless of gender, it's not just about YOU any more. Once you step up and contribute to an improved standard of living for step-children,even if they ARE getting some revenue from the bio parent, is it FAIR for the kid to suddenly lose a lot of things that their custodial parents' income and bio-parents' support payments can't cover when the step-parent exits the relationship, taking their income away from the household-because their parent and step-parent couldn't keep the marriage going?


Yup - I agree here. Now that I'm doing this a second time around (as I'm divorced), I don't intend on ever putting myself in a position where I will INCREASE my S.O.'s kids standard of living, so therefore they will not ever see a decrease if we decide to part ways.......she keeps her place, I keep mine. We both keep our respective standards of living and therefore don't get into this kind of situation........
 My I
Joined: 1/23/2007
Msg: 409
Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 1/14/2011 3:31:48 PM

The standard of living excuse sounds like BS to me.

It's strictly a politically motivated standard - it can't be maintained therefore leaving mom to haunt for money as frequently as she wants............. EVERYBODY'S standard of living diminishes in a seperation/divorce. If anything, it's the (b!tchy) mom who's lifestyle remains static and/or improves moreso than the child or the father. She fights for her rights and nobody else's. The kids are pawns... the kids rarely reap the benefits of increased support and/or extra money handed their way.... just check mom's new wardrobe every season while the kids are sent to dad for new clothes.

Besides, a young child has not established a standard of living - the money suckers want you to believe that is the case. A child adapts to the standard of living both parents (married and/or divorced) provide to them. I guess if mom starts dating men the child must adapt to more frequent babysitters taking care of them, that is a lesser standard of living.... but that's different... mom gets free dinners

Disclaimer: The vast majority of (responsible, caring) moms are not like that. But the loud mouths usually are like that.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 412
Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 1/14/2011 8:12:54 PM
It would be perfectly fine with me if an employed stepmother was made to pay child support if she had been in the childrens' life long enough to have impacted(in a positive sense) the standard of living. I agree that the courts need to start being made aware of equality in parental financial responsibility. HOWEVER, if the stepmother is not employed or has part-time or low-paying work, how do you get blood out of a turnip??

If people feel that "the best interests of the child" is a BS standard, then they should engage in activism to bring that to the attention of those who make or change the laws. Screaming on a forum or in a bar or wherever, that single mothers are to be avoided at all costs, does nothing to bring about change in laws that have fallen behind the times. If this has indeed become a major barrier to unpartnered custodial parents being able to form a new relationship,providing their children with an opposite gender parent and role model-then that needs to be brought to the attention of those in a position to FIX the issue. As I've said before, if everyone wants complete and total fairness in matters of financial provision for children and step children in divorce, the state or province would take custody of the children and collect support payment from BOTH of the divorcing partners. Obviously that would bring an outcry that people were being punished for getting a divorce-but it would be FAIR, would it not?

It's not fair if one parent loses their job, thus lowering their standard of living. It's not fair if one parent becomes disabled
But these things are not something that is the result of a CHOICE, generally speaking. I completely inderstand that there are marriages that MUST be abandoned because of abuse, criminal activity, or other situations where the spouse and children are endangered-but when it comes right down to it, divorce IS a choice. People may not be able to help losing a job or becoming disabled, thereby lowering a family standard of living. Indeed there may be some assistance from state or federal programs to help families having that experience.
But divorce is a choice, and if there are children involved, the court is charged with looking out for their best interests.

However, this topic started out being about a "father figure"- a man who supported a child or children he believed to be his biological offspring, only to find out later that they were not,yet he was required to pay child support. Again, it is the best interests of the child(ren), it is not their fault that their mother deceived the man who thought he was the father. In fact, in a case like that, I would suggest that a man, if he was a father figure to the children, might want to seek custody of the children. The law holds that if a married couple has a child, that the man is the father. It's my understanding that he would have to challenge that presumption and establish that he was not. If he's going tp have to pay CS anyway, then maybe he AND the children are better served if he is the custodial parent,since the mother has participated in adultery and paternity fraud,maybe she is the less fit parent.
Cindy O
 Silverhawk_tkn
Joined: 12/3/2010
Msg: 413
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Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 1/14/2011 10:14:31 PM

Screaming on a forum or in a bar or wherever, that single mothers are to be avoided at all costs, does nothing to bring about change in laws that have fallen behind the times. If this has indeed become a major barrier to unpartnered custodial parents being able to form a new relationship,providing their children with an opposite gender parent and role model-then that needs to be brought to the attention of those in a position to FIX the issue.


While I do think it has become somewhat of a barrier, by no means am I avoiding single mothers altogether. All I'm saying is that in light of the laws and in light of the push for some changes, precautions must be taken to reduce the risk of inequitable financial compensation should the relationship go sour, and this is a very real issue that changes the dynamic of dating single parents.

I still have a great relationship with my S.O. despite the fact that I won't live with her until her kids are emancipated as adults....she knows this and is ok with it. Like I mentioned before, I've been very up front about this with all the ladies that I've dated.....and it has been a showstopper for some. So be it. These are the rules we are given and we have to adjust accordingly or face the consequences. You ladies have to realize we have to make some hard decisions before we get going with a serious relationship, and this is an issue that weights heavily in that decision.......
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 414
Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 1/15/2011 9:21:38 AM
Silverhawk, I'm absolutely appreciative of your position. Trust me, even ornery middle-ged old bats have to look before they leap when it comes to serious relationships. I'm holding out for a man with his own income, residence and life, just like I do. Remarrying in middle-age or older has it's practical and financial ramifications to be considered-child support isn't one of them, but yeah, prudence is advisable.

While I do understand how a man who has been providing for a child for a long time, THEN finds out it's not his actual bio child feels ripped off, the point there is the well-being of the child, and freeing the father figure from financial obligation is unfair to the CHILD, who certainly isn't responsible for the behavior of his or her mother. And the court is also interested in conserving the state resources to care for children who have no traceable male parent, children whose absent parent ignores child support obligations, and children who have to be removed entirely from parental custody for their own safety.
But on the matter of automatic DNA paternity testing, I could support that, though I do have reservations about the scope of the genetic testing and who conceivably could access that information.
Cindy O
 My I
Joined: 1/23/2007
Msg: 415
Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 1/15/2011 9:53:03 AM
THEN finds out it's not his actual bio child feels ripped off, the point there is the well-being of the child, and freeing the father figure from financial obligation is unfair to the CHILD

Why is it a mother's mean, selfish and emotionally diminishing behaviour towards the child not count? How can anyone argue the financiall aspect of the child's "well-being" triumphs over the mental state of the child once discovering mom has no moral ethics and has created two families, secretly?

A child grows up to be an adult, establishes a career and makes their own money. It's totally screwed up that a child, now an adult, must look at mom every day knowing what she did, but most importantly, as per mom and some posters in this thread, mom can look back at the child and boast, "I got child support for you.... isn't that wnat's most important?"

I don't think any mother who committed paternity fraud should ever be giving any input to the well-being of the child.... she lacks 100% credibility on the topic.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 416
Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 1/15/2011 10:15:52 AM

How can anyone argue the financiall aspect of the child's "well-being" triumphs over the mental state of the child once discovering mom has no moral ethics and has created two families, secretly?

Well, let's explore that...maybe we should punish the mother by putting her in jail, sending a clear message to the child that Mom did wrong. Do we force the nonbiological "father figure" to take custody of the child, and full financial and practical responsibility? Do we put the child into some kind of holding facility while investigators seek out the child's biological father and force him to take custody of and responsibility for the child. I'm sure that if it was required that every male submit a DNA sample upon reaching puberty, that a database and search engine could be created to determine the male parent of any child in question residing within that country.
Or shall we simply declare men to be sperm donors only with no responsibility whatsoever for children, make the b*tches that pop kids out take care of them. Sure, smart and competent women would figure something out, but what about all the kids whose moms turned to illegal or unsavory methods to provide for them?
Maybe we should start screening women when they reach childbearing age, and subject them to varying tests and evaluations to determine intelligence, competence, honesty, and sterilize the ones who don't pass the evaluation?
I know these are all extreme things that will never happen (pray to God they don't!) but
you are talking about imperfect human beings living imperfect lives in an imperfect world. In western civilizations we hold children to be entitled to basic survival needs and hopefully some kind of nurture. Or should we simply cast out children born of an "immoral" situation, and let them die?
I GET what the men here are saying...and if they are OK with having any child that is the subject of a paternity,support or custody issue, removed from both parents and placed in institutions where everybody's tax dollars go to raising them to adulthood, that might be the solution.
Cindy O
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 419
Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 1/19/2011 9:41:21 AM
The OT was about a man being required to pay CS on a child that was not biologically his, even though he had been led to believe it was.
It was not about men having to pay CS on stepchildren in the event the marriage fails.
I can only suggest that if the prospect of being held to a degree of financial responsibility for stepchildren,even though the marriage fails-do not marry or cohabit with women who have children. You do know that IS a choice, don't you? Either pick childless women for your serious longterm plans, or conduct a LTR without marriage or residing under the same roof.
Cindy O
 Silverhawk_tkn
Joined: 12/3/2010
Msg: 420
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Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 1/19/2011 11:13:03 AM
The OT was about a man being required to pay CS on a child that was not biologically his, even though he had been led to believe it was.
It was not about men having to pay CS on stepchildren in the event the marriage fails.


The same rules and legislation that apply to the scenario given by the opening poster apply unilaterally to paying for stepkids in the event of relatinship breakdown. Therefore the discussion should not be (and hasn't been) limited in scope to just CS where there is issue of paternity fraud.......please do not narrow the scope of the conversation - the issue at hand is much larger than the scenario the opening poster has given............

The comments above are well within the scope of this conversation.........
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 421
Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 1/19/2011 11:37:29 AM
Not being a single mom, I hadn't really paid much attention to those threads. There are a lot of people men don't want to date, and lots of people women don't want to date.
so
If you are a single custodial parent, if you are over 45, if you are chubby, if you are divorced or widowed, if you have disabilities or the income range for your occupation is not readily identifiable, if you are a good woman or a nice guy-dating pretty much is going to be non-existent and what there is of it will most likely suck a rock. Want me to hold that bridge by the bridle while you jump off?

In most of western civilizations, children, the elderly, and those possessing disabilities that prevent them from being gainfully employed, are felt to be deserving of protection and supportive services fom their society as a whole. Especially children. Someone who is a parent or has acted as a parent seems like the right place to be asking for financial support for the children they produced and/or parented. Who else SHOULD? The elderly couple down the street? The childrens' grandparents?
If men choose to avoid becoming involved with single mothers, then that is something single mothers will have to live with. These days, men with hearts big enough to hold not only a woman, but children she already has, seem to be becoming something of a rarity. Most men seem to keep their balls in their wallets...and that is simply a neutral OBSERVATION on my part, not an aspersion. Maybe it's TIME that women are expected to use more judgement and have stricter standards imposed on her ability to access financial assistance from absent fathers and/or government programs. Because at the end of the day, no one can FORCE a woman to bear children. If stricter demands were placed on potential mothers of children, sex outside marriage might become quite a scarce commodity, but if she's faced with being left holding the parental responsibility bag, to all intents and purposes-choices about having sex might become much more carefully made.
Cindy O
 My I
Joined: 1/23/2007
Msg: 426
Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 1/21/2011 8:21:49 AM

as usual izzbeth you fail to realize you will never have to pay support for these step children should the two of you split,

^^^^ Ummmm... you must have missed something. She's a nanny:


^^^^Uhhhmm I missed the part where my SO lives with me??....Thought I mentioned he works primarily in the US?...No common law..He "visits" 8 or 10 days a month...hardly uses any of the hydro or water here..I just take care of his kids while their Mom is "indisposed" at the momento. It's LUV I tell ya!

And then:

have 3 bio children (I am pretty sure...waiting on the DNA still;) and I also support and take care of 2 "step-kids" who are not treated any diffferently than my own "bio" kids. I have committed to my SO as a partner and taken on his "baggage"(as he has mine) and dealt with the costs and problems, the same way I would only dealing with three kids...

For some reason I can't believe she is "taking on the cost" all by herself....... it appears as though izzy wants us to believe she is paying for the stepkids...... it seems odd that she is not living with an adult partner but she's labelling tham as stepkids.

As I stated before, she's canadian single mom - she gets to design her own family and demand compensation.... I wonder if she's claiming the income from the bio-dad of her stepkids (sarcasm)? I can't see liz letting her S.O. disappear for 20-22 days a month, earn salary and then pay nothing for the care of the children. And yes izzy... if you're not living together you are earning a taxable income when he provides you with money..

^^^^^The LAW has changed and so have the women. It is the men who are cowards or slimballs who haven't changed....always looking for an angle..one would think the world is just full of greedy cunniving women who's only pupose is to screw men over when you read these threads.....let me spoon feed ya guys the reality....

Men are not the cowards - women have become better liars and manipulators - your own story is full of contradiction.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 427
Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 1/21/2011 9:55:08 AM
I read this thread and I just have to shake my head...have people REALLY gotten this f*&!kin' SMALL?
Men are cowards, women are liars and manipulators. Everybody is so effin' scared that somebody might be getting money based on being a custodial parent,and where the money comes from. Unfortunately it has been my sorrow to observe that a lot of men these days want the fun of MAKING that baby,and they want the 'bragging rights" of being a father but then when they are required to help PAY for that fun,and the bragging rights by contributing to the support of the resultant child, then there's this big howl about injustice and how women are working the system,etc etc. IT'S DAMN HARD TO RAISE CHILDREN ALONE. MONEY DOES NOT REPLACE THE PRESENCE AND NON-MONETARY SUPPORT OF THE OTHER PARENT.
But if the prospect of paying support for children or stepchildren is so terrifying, get fixed and only date other people who are also fixed. If that puts a big fat drain on your dating pool, too damn bad.
Cindy O
 Silverhawk_tkn
Joined: 12/3/2010
Msg: 428
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History
Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 1/21/2011 10:15:20 AM

Men are not the cowards - women have become better liars and manipulators


It really boils down to trust..........in light of Liz's repetitive examples of entitlement, are you willing to place trust in your partner that she'll not take you to town if things go sideways, or take the high road and make sure you never get put in this position in the first place?

Truly unfortunate that we have to think this way, but its just the way things are these days.......just think of the burden on infrastucture and resources we put out there as we start to move from "family" dwellings to "single" dwellings.......I was just thinking of this as more and more of my friends start to divorce and live separate. In my neighborhood out of 10 houses, 6 of those are owned by separated individuals, which means there are another 6 dwellings their partners had to buy/rent in order to live. We just had to double the infrastucture to accomodate the same number of people! Combine this with the laws that make it financially risky to co-habitate again with a second partner, and you have a mix that will put a HUGE burden on our government and infrastructure as time rolls on......no wonder our taxes are increasing exponentially and our roads and bridges are crumbling......the shift from living as a family to living single can't be beneficial long term for any government, yet thats exactly what is happening........
 My I
Joined: 1/23/2007
Msg: 429
Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 1/21/2011 11:17:58 AM
Then he says that he doesn't hate women. I really pity his kids...

*sigh*
My bad... I should have said "some" women because we know women like pitufina will jump all over the man's position but then ignore izzy's comment about men.

Don't bother with pittying my kids - if I were female and making such a comment about men you'd be supporting my comment 100%..
 My I
Joined: 1/23/2007
Msg: 430
Paying child support for kids that are not yours
Posted: 1/21/2011 1:29:59 PM
Yet another point proving you don't know one iota about me nor my personality

Yet, you know all about my personality and other things about me to pitty my kids, don't you? (sarcasm)

What I can atest about your posts is that women, single moms and daughters all suffer at the hands of men/boys:

whose female children grew up to have really low self esteem and all the problems coming from that, and whose male children grew into wife abusers.

Take your own advice about conselling and learn that women are no more victim to parental abuse than boys are. Take it further and ask how many girls get abused by creepy old men (including religious leaders), in comparison to little boys - that could also explain self-esteem/anger issues in boys.... but those things don't serve your world of self-pitty too well, does it?

Ya see, low self-esteem and anger is not exactly a women's copyrighted emotions - just ask a counsellor.
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