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 AUTHOR
 ankkka
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 29
Over 50 and not sure of dating etiquettePage 3 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
I don't know what kind of men you met...

I met few men from here...and all of them were nice...just from the start I knew they are not for me...and they were knowing my opinion before we met.
I just gave them opportunity to meet me...because of their curiosity(I think).


It is no dating etiquette...it is who you are.
 alwaysthere51
Joined: 5/10/2008
Msg: 30
Over 50 and not sure of dating etiquette
Posted: 2/9/2009 5:48:49 PM
Know what I feel the same about women, I just don't understand at least write back and say not interested instead of hanging or waiting. I'm sure there are men that do the same NO RESPECT. I think its the way I was raised old style I was taught treat people like I want to be treated
 justonefriend
Joined: 1/30/2009
Msg: 32
Over 50 and not sure of dating etiquette
Posted: 2/9/2009 8:43:25 PM
I wish I could defend my gender but I can't. My only thought on this issue comes back to a question of due diligence. Was the gentleman involved being truthful from the start? He may have gotten in over his head and used the first excuse he could justify to himself. There is also the elephant in the room that men are reticent to discuss. Men our age often have performance issues and "stage fright". He may have felt that should the relationship go further that he would'nt live up to expectations. Men in general, are much more insecure then we generally let on. Just a thought. On a slightly different tack . there are questions I have about common courtesy. If a message from me is received and read, is it too much trouble to simply reply with a simple "no thank you" ? I feel that the very least I can do if an advance is made that I should let the woman know my thoughts one way or the other. Am I wrong? Afterall, we are all on here because of lonliness. I think it's dreadful to ignore a person that is reaching out when we KNOW they are lonely and hurting.
 Brownlady1953
Joined: 12/12/2008
Msg: 33
Over 50 and not sure of dating etiquette
Posted: 2/10/2009 3:00:51 PM
Sher, there are a lot of people online who have mental health issues, and you're better off not dealing with them.......
 mscloverct
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 35
you got that right
Posted: 2/10/2009 8:53:10 PM
I think that you are on the right track, I think you have met some of the men I've met to have learned that. I ditto you.
 mscloverct
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 39
you got that right
Posted: 2/11/2009 5:50:25 PM
Yes! sorry to say it but I did, but I'm a few years past that. I take it ,if it's good and, If I start to see that crazy stuff happening I head south.
 mscloverct
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 40
You TOO!
Posted: 2/11/2009 5:56:56 PM
Hey you must also met the Poofs I've met they are something else. But you know you must be alot like me you still think there are some real winners out there. And men you don't have to poof me off. I don't want nothing that don't want me so relax. I read someplace that dating is fun even if it's not mr. right/ms. right.
 lovecynic
Joined: 6/9/2008
Msg: 45
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History
Over 50 and not sure of dating etiquette
Posted: 4/7/2009 2:41:42 PM
I am in a situation where I have been dating/living with my partner for a year (after being divorced for 3 years after a 30 year marriage). We are extremely compatible and very happy. I would prefer to be married as I am old school and really hate being referred to as a 'girlfriend'. Most of our time is spent at his house (because of location) and I feel my own home is being neglected because of the amount of time I spend at his place.

I would prefer to get married and buy a different house together. But he is reluctant to take that step. He says he is comfortable with his house and is happy to have me live with him. (Finances are not a problem for either of us and we share expenses when we are together) I am tired of living in two houses and supporting my empty one. He has not mentioned marriage in any conversation. How can I handle this?

Do I go back to a dating situation where we go to our separate homes at the end of the day? Do I just enjoy the situation and wait? Do I sell my house and move in totally with him with a cohabitation agreement?

any advice from all the more experienced POF's out there.
 stevelfun
Joined: 10/23/2005
Msg: 46
Over 50 and not sure of dating etiquette
Posted: 4/7/2009 4:37:27 PM
I can sum up the new dating etiquette/rules very simply.

"There are NO rules!"

Anything goes - is acceptable, people will do.

Yes, you will be bewildered, shocked, dismayed and horrified.

True.
 kriscat9
Joined: 2/28/2013
Msg: 50
Over 50 and not sure of dating etiquette
Posted: 3/11/2013 7:20:38 PM
I must say I do like your answers. :-)
 waitingforyoutoo
Joined: 7/19/2012
Msg: 51
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History
Over 50 and not sure of dating etiquette
Posted: 3/11/2013 7:52:22 PM
Things are some things that make me as you say vanish, but at least I try to break it off nicely.
1. Someone who doesn't answer the phone when you call but calls you back later in their car going somewhere or very late at night.
2. Someone you can tell is a golddigger.
3. Someone who calls 24/7.
4. All they talk about is themselves and could care less about you.
5. you can tell they are really not interested in you(chemistry)-- not taken out of the factor based on just one date.
6. other things also, but these are on the first meeting and not a continued meeting.

Not sure if this applies to others.
 Deepseaceecee
Joined: 1/29/2013
Msg: 52
Over 50 and not sure of dating etiquette
Posted: 3/11/2013 11:57:45 PM
Molly, you may be nice but you are gullible if you bought tickets for some guy for a trip. Why would you do that?
 Stubidooo
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 53
Over 50 and not sure of dating etiquette
Posted: 3/12/2013 8:28:30 AM

Because men are basically little imature boys .....Girls.just get a vibrator ,a lot easier.

Some of you should not only NOT be dating but should be in therapy dealing with the issues you are carrying around with you.
 Bogie_Bacall474
Joined: 1/19/2013
Msg: 54
Over 50 and not sure of dating etiquette
Posted: 3/12/2013 10:00:03 AM
"Some of you should not only NOT be dating but should be in therapy dealing with the issues you are carrying around with you."

I couldn't agree more. If you haven't let go of the past, why would you want me involved with your future. Geez, get over it and move on. The entire male/female population is not to blame because you lived with a crappy partner. And really, it takes two to make a failed relationship so you not only need to heal but you need to face your own faults.
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 55
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Over 50 and not sure of dating etiquette
Posted: 3/12/2013 10:37:30 AM
For every bad partner, date, significant other, etc., there will be a good person that can be enjoyed as an equal, and will treat you with the respect you deserve.

Now, if one continues to pick losers, and problems, then you have no one to blame but yourself, because one time may be their fault, but multiple times becomes your fault and how you choose, how your self esteem is, and how you really want to change or not!

Blaming others is always an easy way out, but blaming yourself and then fixing it may be much harder, but at least you know what you can or can not do for yourself, as compared to what you think you expect from others!

cd
 yffat
Joined: 2/12/2011
Msg: 56
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History
Over 50 and not sure of dating etiquette
Posted: 3/16/2013 9:09:08 AM
(Because of who I am, I did send him an email letting him know that if I saw his profile posted again as a "widower
...Oh I wish you had done it anyway..
I had someone contact me a few months ago, we messaged each other for a week or so, things seemed to be progressing, he was in the process of moving near to where I live when he just disappears, so after 2 weeks I message him to see wth , asked him politely why,as this has happened to me before and I wanted to know what I had done wrong so I wouldn't continue to do it.
He had implied he had been single for a long time, years, but evidently I reminded him of his recent X of 8 months ago and he wasn't ready for a relationship........WTH, I said perhaps he shouldn't be on a dating site then. He disappeared for a week or so but has reappeared again, trolling I guess.
I just read the forums now, and respond to a very limited few as I get tired of being trashed on here, why aren't we nicer to each other.
 MELANIE1953
Joined: 7/3/2012
Msg: 57
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Over 50 and not sure of dating etiquette
Posted: 3/16/2013 9:30:49 AM
Just as so many have said on here.. you are not alone.. however, it is frustrating and does make one more wary and cautious. Yes, as i read here, men do have the same experiences as we do. There are ignorant, selfish women and men out there ready to pounch on your good nature.. I have been on and off of here for several years.. and have pretty much seen it all, and heard it all as well.
Like you, it pisses me off to make a connection when meeting a man who appears to be a nice person, that you enjoyed talking to, and then not hear from him again..... not even a "I'm sorry, but" or a " this is why I can't see you".. explaination. I ALWAYS get back to the person and tell them my thoughts and feelings about the meeting. While going thru this trial & error I try to think that the worst that could happen in a "meet & greet" is that you make a new friend, but many men I have encountered can't seem to understand basic human behavior. It is and has been, "you need to have sex with me on the first date then I wil see if you are worthy..." and more than once, i have had a man tell me on the phone, "I hope you don''t want to meet for dinner, because most women on here are just looking for a free meal". I ask all women reading this forum, it is terrible that many men on POF think we cannot feed ourselves.. who out there is perpetuating that stereotype?????? Not I..
In the over 50 - 65 group, I have met more than one man who after the first date thinks I should behave toward him as though we have been dating for months...or more the second, wants to have my house and take over my life.. generally I believe because they do not have a life themselves and are pretending to be someone they are not... they need what you have and what I have worked for..
The thing is, I really want to share it all... me included.. I just dont want to give it away to the lazy, the untruthful one and the "I think I am all that and you should too" man!!
I want to find my last love and have a great rest of my life. I wish we had a finger clamp (like at the hospital) that measured truth, pulse and intention.. at least then we could make a informed decision!!! LOLOLOL.
 iain06
Joined: 8/2/2006
Msg: 58
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History
Over 50 and not sure of dating etiquette
Posted: 3/18/2013 7:03:07 AM
it occurs to me from my experience, that P Cs break down, I have lost more addresses and names than you could shake a stick at, often lost contacts,or women I have been talking to have wanted me to travel hundreds of miles after two chats.
 SingleGuyKelowna
Joined: 3/12/2013
Msg: 59
Over 50 and not sure of dating etiquette
Posted: 3/18/2013 3:36:45 PM
A movie comes into my mind (He's not into You), some people just don't want to deal with the good byes. My self I'm polite.
 Madailein
Joined: 6/9/2012
Msg: 60
Over 50 and not sure of dating etiquette
Posted: 3/19/2013 12:40:15 AM

They all want a blonde fluffy with big boobs,and not too much brain.

That’s funnee, lol. Given that I do not know all men, I disagree.
The most clever men I’ve known love to talk with and take counsel from their women.

MY ex=took medicine for penile problems,because it didnt work.

Poor guy, wonder what caused his problems.


I tried to phone him to straighten out this misconception and there was no response. That was 2 days ago and still no response.

No response is a response. When someone barely knows you it is often difficult for them to formally advise you that they are no longer interested.
 stargirl59
Joined: 1/17/2010
Msg: 61
Over 50 and not sure of dating etiquette
Posted: 3/24/2013 9:11:03 AM
It has been my experience that it is difficult for men to take the stand to end a relationship when it is going nowhere. Take the hint and move on. Don't get caught up in calling and texting with no response. Chalk it up to life experience and move on.
 falleneagle
Joined: 11/30/2012
Msg: 62
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History
Over 50 and not sure of dating etiquette
Posted: 3/24/2013 12:36:15 PM
I have had the same things happen to me. I have had three women that said they wanted a long term relationship and I was ready for that with each of them but once the relationship started getting deep they bolted and without explaining why or what I did or didn't do?
I think it is fear that makes a person bolt like that. Scared of the " What if " thing and all the demons.
All I say is, Don't say your looking for a relationship if your not sure you really want one and can handle it.
 sturbo001
Joined: 4/17/2011
Msg: 63
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Over 50 and not sure of dating etiquette
Posted: 3/24/2013 2:34:59 PM
did ya have fun together?
 lbou
Joined: 10/12/2010
Msg: 64
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History
Over 50 and not sure of dating etiquette
Posted: 3/24/2013 2:54:39 PM
I think we all should have married a friend that we grew up with, they always know us best and love us anyway!
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 65
Over 50 and not sure of dating etiquette
Posted: 3/24/2013 8:43:11 PM

lbou
I think we all should have married a friend that we grew up with, they always know us best and love us anyway!


Then I'd been screwed all around. As a Military family we moved every few years and I don't have any real friends from then.
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