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 UnzippedPassion
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 2
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What position did you take in your divorce?Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
The most important thing to me was to settle it with as few fights as possible and keep a good relationship for the sake of the kids. I was married twice and both times did the divorce myself.
Both uncontested. The second one a little more sticky because we have a business and both had different opinions as to what should occur BUT we worked together and did NOT give a penny to lawyers.

First divorce........150.
Second divorce...200.
Satisfaction from not thowing our hard earned money to someone who didn't deserve it.............Priceless!


**And yes, I remain friends with both of them and love their new wives!
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 4
What position did you take in your divorce?
Posted: 2/5/2009 9:38:42 AM
~OT~ Mine took 21 days. We agreed on everything before I filed and that was that. One actual hearing and it was over. I saw no need to bicker or fight, neither did he (thankfully.) We were both wrong ~ didn't take a Judge/Court to tell us both that, we were well aware.
 jm0405
Joined: 7/7/2008
Msg: 6
What position did you take in your divorce?
Posted: 2/5/2009 9:44:46 AM
We ended it - cut and dry - we only stayed separated according to CO law for 90 days. We were done!! Granted, we didn't like each other and we didn't get along...but after we were divorced, we called a peace treaty and we both moved on.
 Ron9
Joined: 8/10/2004
Msg: 11
What position did you take in your divorce?
Posted: 2/5/2009 10:47:26 AM
To me it depends on who wants it more and ...... if you have learned anything about how a divorce works (also about greed and human nature).

Marriage #1 - married 16 years. Her best friend talked her into going to a shrink to .... learn how to be more assertive. All she learned was how to get drunk and pick fights.

I left and wanted it over. She filed to “wake me up” .... duh I wanted it.

Really just wanting to get it over cost me big big big. Both lawyers were dragging it out in court (to rack up the cost). At the third day in court - I got her aside and gave her everything except for 10k out of the house when it was sold. She sold the house (to a Chiefs football player) and her share was over $75,000 (closer to 100k clear) . ugg. She also got to keep almost everything else.

Marriage #1 - married 17 years. She wanted to go be a “now woman” (accountable to no one not kids not a husband no one) - kids were raised/educated - her college degree was about finished and ....... “see ya”

I was in the drivers seat this time ..... she wanted to be “independent” and I did not want a divorce at all.

After telling me she had no intentions of filing .......... she secretly did file. ............ ugg sneak attack.

She wanted everything but ...... I had the advantage and ...... did not give her EVERYTHING.

It still went very fast and cheap ......... I did not even go to court - just signed the “adjusted” settlement and it was over in about 30 minutes or less.

-----------------

#1 I wanted it - she got pretty much everything (to get it over faster and stop to racking up of both attorneys) - back then I made tons of money and she got a lot.

#2 She wanted it ..... I had learned - the person that wants it is at a disadvantage on the settlement.

So ....... I would think fast as possible but be logical about giving more than your 50% away - just to make it all go faster.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 15
What position did you take in your divorce?
Posted: 2/5/2009 11:30:11 AM
I was with my ex since I was 13 and married at 18 - total marriage of 30 years but knowing each other for 35 years. It was one of those cases where you grow apart as you grow. We both wanted to just make it as painless as possible and other than a few bumps in the whole thing cuz of emotions, it was dealt with quite efficiently. It never went to court. I gave up certain issues and he gave up certain issues in order to make it as seamless as possible. Our kids were grown so it wasn't a case of dragging them through anything (although they were affected by it as well - who wouldn't be?). We remain friends today and have our own lives. I now live about 1 1/2 blocks away from him (just recently moved cuz I love the neighbourhood and my old neighbours and am sure will love the new ones too) and we see each other with our kids on special occasions or whenever we all just want to have a laugh together. Life goes on and it's better than ever. Sometimes you make better friends than you do spouses.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 21
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What position did you take in your divorce?
Posted: 2/5/2009 1:34:07 PM

What position did you take in your divorce?

Roll over and play dead.
My ex blackmailed me over the crossdressing thing to take all our assets, so I just wanted to get it over with and never see her again, lest she try to repeat the deed. Still, learning that she was the kind of person to do that kind of thing made it easier to not love her anymore, knowing she was truly an awful person that I shouldn't have married in the first place.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 23
What position did you take in your divorce?
Posted: 2/5/2009 2:18:20 PM
^^^^
Nice to see some people have their heads on straight!
 FastReb
Joined: 1/3/2009
Msg: 32
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What position did you take in your divorce?
Posted: 2/5/2009 9:44:30 PM

For those of you who are divorced, what was more important to you when you were divorcing: that it be over quickly, or that you got your grievances aired?


In divorce #1, I had hoped to just call it quits and both of us use the same attorney. We made out a list splitting the assets, hired the attorney and thought it would be equitable. Found out later that she went back the next day and fired the attorney, got one of her own and filed. I still wanted distance more than anything else, so she got pretty much everything.

In divorce #2, things were much more complicated because children were involved. Since she was a compulsive liar, thief and adultress, I was seriously worried that even letting her have joint custody would cause real harm to the kids. The thought of the kids constantly seeing her lie and steal was bad enough, but the thought of them being left with just anyone when she wanted to go screwing around was more than I was willing to have happen. I told her I would sell everything I had, borrow every cent I could and would spend whatever was necessary to keep the kids. She wanted to fight so we slugged it out in court, to the tune of 2+ years. The capper came when my lawyer trapped her in perjury on the stand. The judge wasn't amused with the ex's antics.
 barbee1970
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 34
What position did you take in your divorce?
Posted: 2/5/2009 10:08:06 PM
We negotiated everything so it was quick, uncontested. Our son's best interest was both our main concern.
 Redlance71
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 39
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What position did you take in your divorce?
Posted: 2/8/2009 1:20:51 PM
First divorce - ex's parents pushed her to it and paid for it - 300. I was Defendant.
Second divorce - 600 dollars, child involved. I was Defendent
Third divorce - 60 dollars. Mutual split after 5 years married(8 together). Would have been more expensive if I put reasons was infidelity on the wife's part, went with irreconcilable. No children. I keep house, allowed her to take what she wanted(she took my wii but I kept the wii fit, go figure). A speedy process helped me to move on with my life, 22 days from start to finish...
 clasact
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 41
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What position did you take in your divorce?
Posted: 2/8/2009 2:31:15 PM
I just wanted out and child support, which I knew I didn't have to worry about
and I never did, he's a great father.

I wanted nothing else.

I left the home and most of the furnishings and I asked for NO alimony nor
any of his pension plan. My lawyer looked at me like I should have been institutionalized. But I wanted nothing from him at all. That was years ago and I have no regrets.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 43
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What position did you take in your divorce?
Posted: 2/12/2009 7:43:06 PM
What position: BOHICA. I got taken to the cleaners, and took on all the debt. Nothing like being blackmaied to wake someone up to the meanness of others. All I wanted to do was get it over with and never have any contact with her, ever again.
 forum101
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 46
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What position did you take in your divorce?
Posted: 2/13/2009 1:53:11 AM
My ex had to agree with everything. He didnt want the judge to know all the things I could prove. But then, I wasnt a witch about it. I only took what was mine, and actually told my attorney I didnt want him to have to sell his property. Turned out he put it up for auction, anyway. We didnt have a child, and he didnt fight it, so maybe 6 months from the time I filed.
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