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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Married Men -To date or not to date?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Sumo_sumo
Joined: 12/26/2008
Msg: 76
Married Men -To date or not to date? Page 4 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

I know I'm asking for it with this question, but here it goes. (be gentle with your replys)
I met a 34 year old male several months ago and thought he was single (or so he said). Time went on (4 months), I got hooked and he later confessed he was married with four children. Trying to get over those feelings, needless to say I joined Plentyoffish.com. The majority of men that come on to me are married! Why do they do this?


Does this mean I have to get married to have a shot with you?
 Sumo_sumo
Joined: 12/26/2008
Msg: 77
Married Men -To date or not to date?
Posted: 2/26/2009 10:14:52 PM

But married men looking to cheat are not honest men. As you just found out. Most likely because they know full well if the wife found out he has “other interest” she would divorce Him. So as long as he can get away with it, he will. So they keep both women in the dark, and have their fun at the expense of someone else.


I love reading ads from married women. A lot of them describe themselves as honest. Yet, they need to be discrete about the relationship.
 karvan
Joined: 3/21/2009
Msg: 78
not to date
Posted: 3/26/2009 11:04:50 AM
Hi nice girl!
I am ready to marry U if U want; but I want to know whether U fit me or not.
So, if U want to have a loyal husband that never leave U as long as U live, message me and tell me enough about urself.
As for me, I'm very kind, look up high to women in general, especially my mother, sisters, aunts, grand mothers, my female friends, and my future wife; Y? Bcause, both of us will be the two parts of the same apple and share a really very happy nest, which we build it together. I have much more to say, but postpone it to the time we chat or email each other asking about personality and view point in life.
I like reading and I read in different languages, especially English and Arabic. I like making friends of different cultures.
It's worth mentioning that the thing which makes me really happy is to bring smile to the others lips, and comfort people, especially women; because I'm surrounded by them all the time. there is mum , sister, aunt, grand mother etc., all of these are women, and women all are of one type, so, I must respect women, no matter I know her or no.
 tigershark7778
Joined: 3/18/2009
Msg: 79
Married Men -To date or not to date?
Posted: 3/26/2009 11:33:40 AM
You're an already-married-magnet. What kind of gypsy curse do you got hanging over your head!?!?!?
 Sexywildflower 36
Joined: 12/2/2008
Msg: 80
Married Men -To date or not to date?
Posted: 3/27/2009 2:45:31 PM
I actually met 1 married guy on here who was trying to get out of his marriage. He even told me the woman he was with was not the right one for him.

So it depends some men marry quite young, and are in STUPID MARRIAGES and are unhappy.

I had some good times in the bedroom with him , and I feel sorry for him because now he i stuck being miserable with his wife.

She has been screwing around on him to probably too.

Sometimes men who are married , will leave their wives if theymeet somebody else that makes them happy. But it is more like 6/10 , then 9/10.

I find most marriages today are failing because of the money problems people are having at home.

Or one partner feels neglected. The guy I was with , definately felt neglected by his wife.

She obviously was lousy in bed for him to be having sex with me.

He did say something was missing, probably good sex in the bedroom.

Anyways, that is done and over with.

Women need to understand is when a man sexual and emotional needs are not ment at home they look around for somebody else, and it can happen.

I have seen it happen where 1 person meets somebody else, and then the marriage comes to an end.

Well this guy I met will eventually leave his miserable wife, because he is go getter and works for the fed govt, and the type of person he is he likes to have fun.

He may leave her, and then stay single for awhile. He does travel for work quite a bit.
 cbt04
Joined: 8/23/2008
Msg: 81
Married Men -To date or not to date?
Posted: 4/3/2009 11:02:58 AM
Not me. I was on the receiving end of that and I know how it feels. I would be married to a woman just to hurt her. If you can't stay loyal, stay single.
 cbt04
Joined: 8/23/2008
Msg: 82
Married Men -To date or not to date?
Posted: 4/3/2009 11:04:00 AM
Oops, I wouldn't get married to a woman just to hurt her.
 lady8506
Joined: 7/1/2007
Msg: 83
Married Men -To date or not to date?
Posted: 4/3/2009 3:05:58 PM
Don't date him! You're just asking to piss off his wife when she finds out. Not only that, but you will just have helped him become a cheater since you knew he was married before hand.

I recently had a bad experience with a married man, although I did not know he was married until after, because that's when he decided to tell me.

After talking with his wife on the phone, I can only come to this conclusion of why men (including this particular person's husband) who are married hit on and try to get with other girls.

1. They don't feel attractive anymore. Their significant other isn't making them feel attractive and wanted.
2. They are having problems in their current relationship. Lots of arguements, not getting along, seperated from each other (but not legally), etc.
3. Rarely does a cheater, cheat because he/she wishes to hurt the one they love.

So if you have married guys hitting on you, it's probably one of the reasons above.
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 84
view profile
History
Married Men -To date or not to date?
Posted: 4/3/2009 6:40:57 PM
Sad but so many do it...
I personally would never want to be a homewreaker!!!
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 85
Married Men -To date or not to date?
Posted: 4/3/2009 6:48:44 PM
I personally would never want to be a homewreaker!!!

The unmarried person is NOT the home wrecker ~ the married person is wrecking their own home. (Two married people having an affair are wrecking both their marriages.) JMO
 LAIDBACKANDREAL
Joined: 2/23/2009
Msg: 86
Married Men -To date or not to date?
Posted: 4/7/2009 5:11:26 AM
I will not judge, nor would I base someones character on their dating habits.
As for me tho.................I follow the code. NEVER, EVER date another woman's man.
Woman should join together in respect for one another.

I myself could never date any man if he has another women, whether it be married or just dating. I would never want that done to me so I would never do it.

As for you finding out that he was in fact married then choosing to leave
Well:
I APPLAUD you!
 cmoonl7
Joined: 7/21/2008
Msg: 87
Married Men -vs. Single guys - MM wins hands down
Posted: 4/9/2009 12:39:25 PM
How many times have I read that someone is looking for a guy to have a "casual" relationship with? Let's assume "casual" means off and on, when schedules match, if you want to break it off - cool, no pressure. Oh yeah, it's not all "casual and NSA" because there is a catch (a "string" if you will) - he's got to be single. So this means that there could be 4 or 5 other girls he's having a "casual" relationship with, but that's OK, I suppose, because he IS single after all. This means if you have sex with him you're 4-5 times more likely to get a disease, there's also more of a chance that he's a womanizer and treats women as object. Oh, but he's "single" oohhh, aahhhh the magic words.

Now we've got a married guy, who most likely only has time for a "casual" relationship in addition to his other duties. Since he's married we can assume he's monogomous at the moment, or has been for some time. So there's a good chance you're dealing with someone who's only got one other sex partner, and chances are he's not even having sex with that partner, hence his ad. So you've pretty much got yourself a monogomous guy, with a real motivation to NOT get a disease, so he's going to be careful in that regard, he doesn't have time to hang all over you and bother you all hours (you wanted a casual relationship right?), and will probably treat you like a queen and shower you with attention to make up for what he doesn't get at home....hell, he probably even has a job too - imagine!

Of course you could get a married ***hole, with a psycho wife, but you could also get a single ***hole with a jealous girlfriend. It's a 50-50 chance either way you go. The married guy has to be even more careful that YOU don't fall for him and go psycho on his ass - he's got a lot more to lose than the single guy, but in my experience anyway, I've found that it's pretty unrealistic to believe a woman can really handle a casual relationship.

To me SOUNDS LIKE A NO BRAINER LADIES! For a CASUAL relationship, the married guy wins hands down most of the time. Come on, hit me with your arguments!
Why is the single guy better than a married guy for a casual relationship with no strings attached? If you're looking for a LTR ok, you probably won't get that with the married guy that should be understood.

Here's my advice: maybe you should try it sometime...the only problem is that you've probably got to be at least as attracitve as his wife or have something worthwhile to offer and I bet some of you would probably lose in that area!

I'm not saying YOU, but most...
 shipoker58
Joined: 8/23/2008
Msg: 88
Married Men -To date or not to date?
Posted: 4/9/2009 10:11:49 PM
it is not a problem! Continue seeing the man. It is totally alright. Marriage means nothing on POF. I can only assume...yes, I said assume, get over it lynch mob, that you are not new to this site, so you will probably be treated better than a new person asking a question. But it has become obvious to me that the general consensus is that marriage is "just a piece of paper", so just tell that married man you are seeing to wipe his butt with that piece of paper...and enjoy your intimacies with someone else's husband.

Just remember...should it become so serious that you end up married to him some time in the future...it is O.K. for someone else to spend time with YOUR husband!!


...JMO
 cmoonl7
Joined: 7/21/2008
Msg: 89
Married Men -To date or not to date?
Posted: 4/10/2009 9:28:47 AM
Here's one to get you all thinking. In most states it's not illegal to have an affair, so having that "piece of paper" has nothing to do with monogomy - it has to do with legal obligations regarding property, and parental rights, as well as giving legal permission to act on the others behalf dealing with medical issues, death, etc.. It is basically an agreement by two people detailing thier obligations to each other - but NOWHERE does it state monogomy. So, the reason you all get worked up is that you see it as "immoral"...and if you're religious (esp Christian) you see it as a violation of God's laws.

OK, stay with me here....

Many people view homosexuality the same way. It's not illegal, but many people believe it to be immoral and/or against God's laws. So, riddle me this Batman:
Since legally there's no difference and both adultury and homosexuality are seen as immoral by a majority of the population. Why is it perfectly acceptable to have men 4 men and women 4 women on POF???

My personal view is that if the married person is honest about it - why get upset? Don't contact them, don't take thier messages. Simple. Another thing you all seem to miss is the fact that a married person CAN have a nonsexual relationship with someone of the opposite sex, without jeapordizing the marriage. That's a fact, I've been there more than once. I wish people would be a little less judgemental. Check out my profile - I'm as honest as you'll get.
 shipoker58
Joined: 8/23/2008
Msg: 90
Married Men -To date or not to date?
Posted: 4/10/2009 11:52:01 AM

There's clues; hind-sight is always 20-20. Stay away from those that are married- seperated or not. (sorry guys, but "seperated" has too much baggage)



wow! give the lady a red balloon.!! Won't get many to agree with you on that on this site! ...BUT I sure do!!


JMO
 Make it happen!
Joined: 9/21/2008
Msg: 91
Married Men -To date or not to date?
Posted: 4/10/2009 12:42:22 PM
They do it because they can, male or female. And they are allowed to keep dating you. Married is married. He already lied to you about the most fundimental thing there is. But that is not what you are asking. There are married men and married women on here that lie. Don't be so quick to jump. Talk more, get to know the other person and if you get a red flag............. then back up. People are scum, people are bored, people are idoits most of the time.

Having said that......... I have met some nice men on here and some real idoits.
 FriendlyFreeSpirit
Joined: 8/24/2008
Msg: 92
Married Men -To date or not to date?
Posted: 4/10/2009 3:01:14 PM
This thread's title is a misnomer.
Married men aren't looking to date.
They're looking for sex.
They're not looking for conversation, a long-term relationship, a short-term relationship or anything with the word "relationship".
They're looking for no-strings attached/don't call me I'll call you/I've tried hookers and it's not the same because I have to pay and they only fake it/make me feel like a real man sex.
It's all about them and your role is to provide the willing body.
Let's get real here, folks..
 forester40
Joined: 2/5/2007
Msg: 93
Married Men -To date or not to date?
Posted: 4/10/2009 3:18:50 PM
You don't need married men, and a guy that lied to you for four months you really don't need. Next time you meet a new guy after a couple of dates ask if you can see his place. No married man will ever want you to see the place where he lives.
 MandaKay
Joined: 3/14/2009
Msg: 94
Married Men -To date or not to date?
Posted: 4/10/2009 4:07:12 PM

Married Men -To date or not to date?


Can't answer why married people lie about it. But I say DON'T DATE them. Bad idea. Very bad. Even if they're seperated. Wait for the divorce to be final. don't believe the whole idea that he'll leave his wife for you. Just avoid at all costs.
 oldkid
Joined: 7/3/2006
Msg: 95
view profile
History
Married Men -To date or not to date?
Posted: 4/10/2009 4:34:12 PM
FriendlyFreeSpirit,
I think you need to reevaluate your belief that married men are only looking for sex. While that may be true for younger married men it isn't as true for older married men who have been married for years. You might study some of the observations made by hookers and escorts on this subject. Seems that many older men are more interested in the "relationship" than just the sex.
 FriendlyFreeSpirit
Joined: 8/24/2008
Msg: 96
Married Men -To date or not to date?
Posted: 4/10/2009 7:37:13 PM
oldkid: why would many older married men be looking for a relationship? They already have a relationship with their wives, remember? They may want to talk occasionally, seek excitement, validation -whatever - but it is MOSTLY always wrapped around sex.
It's always about sex. If you've gotten too old for sex to be the primary reason for your search, olkid - well, ok - you're the exception to the rule. You are so not the rule, though.
And as for old married guys paying hookers to talk to them: too sad. Just too sad.
 JackJack0318
Joined: 4/7/2009
Msg: 97
Married Men -To date or not to date?
Posted: 4/10/2009 8:39:40 PM
sorry, but you have to say no... A lie is a lie, and you cannot trust someone that lies.

There was a time I cheated, looking back now it was disgusting not only to me and my girlfriend at the time, but to who I was cheating with. It can ruin all of your lives.

And on a side note... "Once a cheater allways a cheater" this is bullsh**. I have done it and know I would never do it again. Not because I got caught, because I did'nt. I would'nt because I know how it made me feel about myself.... I know in my heart I will never cheat again... Can someone who has never cheated say that? If they do, they are lying to themselves and you.
 drouid00
Joined: 7/24/2008
Msg: 98
Married Men -To date or not to date?
Posted: 4/10/2009 8:41:33 PM
It is unreal what a caricature this discussion thread ended up being... The married man is always lying and seeking gratuitous sex above and beyond the plentiful satisfaction that his diligent wife provides. An unfair and immoral act that breaks the marital contract and is deserving of burning at the stake.

What self righteous garbage!! I would never condone lying but that is a separate issue from that of married people (men and women) seeking sex, affection, and intimacy with like minded others.

Not all people trapped in a difficult marriage are able to get out, for a variety of reasons. If a woman does not want interact with a married man that is her prerogative...but please let's minimize the generalizations and the fire and brimstone. After all this site is not just for single people seeking a long term relationship full of meaningful, morally affirming acts....

So lighten up :-)
 FriendlyFreeSpirit
Joined: 8/24/2008
Msg: 99
Married Men -To date or not to date?
Posted: 4/11/2009 12:20:41 AM
drouid00: your profile says you're a married man looking to "push the envelope" -

I would like to meet someone that is able and willing to explore the sensual and intimate side of life

This site is definitely for more than just single people seeking a long term relationship "full of meaningful, morally affirming acts".
But don't bullshit me you're looking for something other than sex wrapped up in good fun - and that it's all about you. I'm sure that if you do meet a "like-minded person" you'll still be dictating when, how and when. And you won't be wanting to call what you have a ''relationship'' of any kind - morally affirming or not.
I don't care what you do. I don't know you or your wife. But I, for one, am hardly being ''self-righteous" by calling it how I see it.
And I'm as light as a feather, buddy. I don't have to lie, sneak around, pretend to be something or someone I'm not and generally "push the envelope" to get what I want.
And I don't mock those who are seeking the whole package with someone who is available to do so - and doesn't pretend to be able to offer more than they can.
 mthomjmark
Joined: 2/27/2008
Msg: 100
Married Men -To date or not to date?
Posted: 4/11/2009 12:25:44 AM
Because they think you are naive and that you will believe every word they say without being accountable; dont' you think not going home to his house or not calling his house are giveaways?

There is something about you that men feel they can use you and it's obviously true. Make men accountable. good luck,
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