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 DonCarlo
Joined: 10/4/2006
Msg: 125
Married Men -To date or not to date? Page 6 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
Some men (and some women) just want their cake and eat it too. They dont want to deal with issues and problems in their marriages. An affair is a form of escapism. Of course it may not even be about that. Could just be that old habits are hare to break and marriage doesn't change anything.
 2run
Joined: 7/31/2009
Msg: 126
Married Men -To date or not to date?
Posted: 10/13/2009 1:10:04 PM
Don't hate the player...Hate the game



But what do I know?
 BlueEyes1712
Joined: 4/24/2008
Msg: 127
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Married Men -To date or not to date?
Posted: 10/13/2009 2:10:31 PM
Sorry that you got taken for granted and lied to. I think people lie for only one reason, to get away with something they couldnt if they told the truth. Period
On the other hand, what if people were truthful about being married? Then I think they would end up with a similar type of person who either isnt concerned or is in the same boat as the cheating guy.
 Redhead60ish
Joined: 10/16/2011
Msg: 128
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Married Men -To date or not to date?
Posted: 1/4/2013 7:46:45 PM
Thoughts and past experience with married men:

What does a married man have to offer a single woman??? They can’t take you to their place, they are rarely available on weekends, holidays or evenings….sleeping over is next to impossible…and going out locally is out of the question, someone they know might see you….oh yes, YOU have to be discreet, and monogamous….they wouldn’t want to take home a STD to their wife, and they want you to be available when they can get away….

Summation….a married man offers you SEX, kisses and hugs, at your place, in your bed, cozy and comfortable, getting all of your attention while they are with you, and you are giving them what is lacking in there marriage at home…..and you get…..SEX…. sweet deal for them!!!!

Wake up MEN…. a woman can get SEX any day of the week …. 18 to 80 blind crippled or crazy…...short, fat, old or ugly, there is a man who will shag her….. and not always at her place…

If you want this to work, become friends with the other women in your life…. and be honest
 chatylady
Joined: 2/25/2011
Msg: 129
Married Men -To date or not to date?
Posted: 1/5/2013 8:30:28 AM
I once started dating a man who said he was single. We would go out to dinner, dancing, everything. Took a while before we slept together, but the first night was in a hotel. He said he wanted it to be special. It was, wine and dine, everything was wonderful. He lived about 50 miles from me, but worked only 10 minutes away. We would spend time at my house for my convenience. After a few months, I pushed going to his house and he admitted he was married. I felt like a fool and ended things immediately. People believe what they want to hear. All the sweet things that were said. I was a fool for not putting things together. I never pushed going to his house, but never said anything when it was suggested and then turned down. He always would say, its so far a way and your place is so nice and comfortable. or my favorite was, baby I can't wait that long to be with you, lets just go to your place.

Men can be pigs, they lie for many reasons. He said it was because he felt obligated to stay with his wife and kids, but was unhappy and lonely. I can't say I don't miss him.. He was wonderful, but, not worth the pain of being alone, waiting for him.

As for the men who do this. You are not only hurting the person you are cheating on, but the one you are cheating with. Think about your actions and how many people they affect.
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 130
Married Men -To date or not to date?
Posted: 1/22/2013 6:10:08 PM
well...some guys are looking for a fling on the side...some are unhappy but unable or unwilling to leave...there are also some that are probably very lonely and looking for some semblance of affection and love...should you date them? well, no. if you do...just be prepared for the consequences...he isn't going to leave his wife and kids for you...and this is probably going to end with you getting hurt...
 Help_the_planet
Joined: 9/6/2012
Msg: 131
Married Men -To date or not to date?
Posted: 1/22/2013 8:32:04 PM
I read all these post and am so sorry for all your pain, not all of us are married, some of us are looking for that one, who would be worth it all. Don't give up! You'll find him.
 1WishList
Joined: 11/22/2012
Msg: 132
Married Men -To date or not to date?
Posted: 1/23/2013 10:16:00 PM
Why do some like vanilla milkshakes while others like banana with pickles??
 Dolphinelover
Joined: 12/13/2012
Msg: 133
Married Men -To date or not to date?
Posted: 1/24/2013 7:17:15 AM
A lot of women on here do the same thing,it isn't just the men. My opinion of it is,different strokes for different folks. I don't know we never know what ones situation may be or why they do what they do. But I have always been one not to judge before knowing the facts. Some may be idiots on here just trying to do someone dirty,but as well it may be them getting done dirty and they are tired of it and looking for a change. If it is them being done dirty and that is why they are looking why not just be upfront about it I say.
 FitnessGuy33
Joined: 5/26/2005
Msg: 134
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Married Men -To date or not to date?
Posted: 2/6/2013 6:25:22 AM
Because those married men are scumbags, they probable want to see if the grass is greener on ther other side to so speak, or the marriage is in shambles.
 dundas.177
Joined: 1/31/2013
Msg: 135
Married Men -To date or not to date?
Posted: 2/6/2013 7:03:13 AM
sadly married woman and married man do step out and pof seem to get alot of them.yep i am married and very happy.i love pof becase i can talk to people both men and woman.some of us married people like to talk just talk and nothing more so please stop lumping all marred people under the same banner.i wish pof had a sister site for just married people who want to mess around.
 ineedfun2010
Joined: 4/3/2010
Msg: 136
Married Men -To date or not to date?
Posted: 2/6/2013 7:13:06 AM
There is a site. Ashley Madison dot com
 dondea
Joined: 12/10/2007
Msg: 137
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Married Men -To date or not to date?
Posted: 2/6/2013 9:27:32 AM
^^^^ Ashley Madison dating service is not free. You are better off using Adult Friendfinder if you are going to pay. POF is a free site and its forums are free. Plus, not all married men and women are here to cheat.
 Yadilina
Joined: 11/1/2012
Msg: 138
Married Men -To date or not to date?
Posted: 2/6/2013 9:54:50 AM
You will become his mistress. He will never leave his kids and wife. He wants to have his cake and eat it too. I was seeing a woman who told me she was single. I learned later that she was separated. To me, separated is married and I wouldn't date anyone who is. Her reply to me was, "It's just a piece of paper". So is a divorce. I don't want to be someone's rebound. Always a chance they can reconcile.
 59thShadeofGrey
Joined: 9/25/2012
Msg: 139
Married Men -To date or not to date?
Posted: 2/6/2013 10:05:55 AM

i wish pof had a sister site for just married people who want to mess around.


They do. It's called Ashley Madison. :-)

For the record, I would note that in my experience married men are most often having affairs with married women. This myth that married men are all going after college coeds is just that - a myth. But to many, married men who cheat are just pigs, while the married women they are with are just unhappy....
 MutedEnthusiasm
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 140
Married Men -To date or not to date?
Posted: 2/6/2013 10:26:56 AM
Why do some like vanilla milkshakes while others like banana with pickles??

I believe it was the great Sigmund Freud who first grappled with that very question, to no avail. He did find the two types were quite compatible, however.

On topic (why do married men come onto me?) – same reasons the single ones do, mostly. Except they're married.
 2hotcougar
Joined: 3/29/2011
Msg: 141
Married Men -To date or not to date?
Posted: 2/6/2013 12:38:46 PM
i dated a married man i ask if was sure that is what he wanted he was very sure that he was able to handle it but right after he totaly freaked i felt sorry for him
 HUMHUMA
Joined: 1/14/2018
Msg: 142
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Married Men -To date or not to date?
Posted: 12/28/2018 2:17:37 AM
While it's a tadd weird they are unhappy with the situation they are into.....not that it's right but I have known several that have stepped out....it's your decision what you do and your heart if you choose to be the other woman and at a guys beckon call when he summons you....bout it....good luck!
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 143
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Married Men -To date or not to date?
Posted: 12/28/2018 12:59:27 PM
It's sad but there are a lot of cheaters out there, and single women run into them all the time. I've even had women ask me on or before a first date if I am married.
 dondea
Joined: 12/10/2007
Msg: 144
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Married Men -To date or not to date?
Posted: 1/3/2019 6:24:55 AM
@hemingway234: Yes, there are a lot of cheaters out there and single or married MEN also run into women, who do so, all the time. Both men AND women who cheat do so for a variety of reasons. Not defending them, whether right or wrong, it's just a fact of life.
 BaldwinMotionPhaseIII
Joined: 10/15/2018
Msg: 145
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Married Men -To date or not to date?
Posted: 1/3/2019 9:51:05 AM
men who are married, may just be married b/c they are so good looking or such a great catch. in my tiny town, its practically a forgone conclusion, a woman who attracts your eye...already attracted someone else when the biological clock began ringing the alarm :) after a certain age, you may find a woman who got divorced and kept the house. but chances are, there's a few male friends in her life who waited for their opening.

i used to joke that married lovers were like grandkids--when they stopped being fun, you could just ship 'em home again. cheaters cheat for a variety of reasons, tho habitual ones can be spotted by their other behaviors...which sadly, are attractive to some. in the desert, a warm glass only half full of water is still better than the sand all around us.
 Dave of Indiana
Joined: 3/18/2009
Msg: 146
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Married Men -To date or not to date?
Posted: 1/3/2019 5:23:24 PM

Summation….a married man offers you SEX, kisses and hugs, at your place, in your bed, cozy and comfortable, getting all of your attention while they are with you, and you are giving them what is lacking in there marriage at home…..and you get…..SEX…. sweet deal for them!!!!


According to statistics from Psychology Today 91% of cheating married men are cheating with a married woman. That's 91 men out of 100. Either there are a few women seeing boat loads of men or that's a lot of unfaithful wives. I.E. wives are more unfaithful than society knows or will publish.

Forum responses ALWAYS point at the unfaithful husband. The unfaithful wife is, usually, forgotten about and gets away with the affair.

Likewise (according to Psychology Today) women become bored living with and sleeping with the same man after 10 to 20 years or more. Of course, statistics like this are universally ignored. It's always the man.

The next time you hear about an unfaithful husband keep in mind that 91% of the time there is an unfaithful wife seeing him.
 pfif
Joined: 8/25/2013
Msg: 147
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Married Men -To date or not to date?
Posted: 1/4/2019 4:18:30 PM
Helen Fisher Ph. D. asks in a TED talk "Who do you think they're cheating with?"

I wasn't sure what she meant.

I guess I'll be hearing about this from the outspoken young women in my circle who are just now coming into their own (they're at about the right age for this to start happening to them).

OP: very simply, you match a demographic (congratulations). Whatever selects for this, likes you.
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