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Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > Once a woman hits 40 what can she do to help herself w/finding someon      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 MY OH MY
Joined: 10/11/2007
Msg: 26
Once a woman hits 40 what can she do to help herself w/finding someone fun? Page 2 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

and suddenly turns to achieving a career
Oh you are going to get lots of dates with your fabulous attitude and falsehoods.

I quit my career about 13 years ago. Gave up the secretaries, the long hours away from home, and have since got rid of the excess baggage dragging me down.

I know that my interests are bit more unique than most's and I know that because I do have such diverse interests that I am having more fun. This is one of the reasons my bf was attracted to me, he was tired of little girls that just want to go to the mall, have their nails done, color their hair, do tanning booths, and dance the night away as he sat watching and getting drunk from boredom.

I am not sure why you haven't grown up, speak to your mother about your opinions, I am sure that she would have a word or two for you.

Some people just know how to enjoy their ride.
 Edsta
Joined: 7/19/2008
Msg: 27
Once a woman hits 40 what can she do to help herself w/finding someone fun?
Posted: 2/8/2009 9:32:16 AM
OP: to answer your topic question, I'd say that age is irrelevant unless the guy is
(a) Just an ignorant putz who swallows every gender cliche he sees on TV, or
(b) He's a determined breeder and just looking for a baby-maker.
If it's (a) then you don't want to be with him anyway, I hope. If it's (b) and you still want him, then hey what can I say, you reap what you sow.

I've known women well into their 40s, even early 50s, who were far more PHYSICALLY attractive than most women in their 20s, due to taking good care of themselves through a healthy, active lifestyle, and/or lucky genes. (More usually it was lifestyle.) Add to that the stability, smarts and self-knowledge typically earned from all that life experience, and it makes for an exceedingly attractive overall package, in my book.

Unfortunately that combination is very hard to find in most places---plus there is a huge distinction between stability/smarts/self-knowledge vs. damage/bitterness/paranoia from bad experiences.

Now I'll free admit, I'm highly unlikely to turn down a cute 20-something woman who wants to leap in bed with me. (Doesn't exactly happen every day, so really a moot point...LOL) But for anything more substantial, I tend to take women in their mid 30s and up, much more seriously.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 28
Once a woman hits 40 what can she do to help herself w/finding someone fun?
Posted: 2/8/2009 9:32:25 AM
Interesting. But this still does not change anything. Women over 40 are dusty trophies in a trophy cupboard! There's a time to shine naturally and there's a time for a mandatory over-haul. Make sense?

As I said before, as a man over 40, you would know. I agree....because it's no different for the men. In fact, some men start leveling off and looking down the hill at about 35 -which is too bad. Unlike most women over 40, they actually care that they don't get the same attention they used to from women, instead of finding more productive things to do (like give themselves an overhaul).

A lot of men have the same as or more baggage than women after 40, and IME, they make excuses for letting themselves go like "well as you get older its harder to stay in shape" ....so there's an old trophy shelf for you too. Well, for the men who ever were a prize, anyway. Some never are.
 OhPeggy
Joined: 1/28/2009
Msg: 29
Once a woman hits 40 what can she do to help herself w/finding someone fun?
Posted: 2/8/2009 10:13:48 AM

I am 40 and almost never experience that. If anything I go thru the "no you're not" conversation where they either don't believe it or don't want me to think they do to score points. Then again I am more than happy to tell them and watch them be taken aback by it....it's amusing to me.


I get the same thing "no you're not!" but like you I get a kick out of it. Im 40 and fabulous and djchickie401 you look great as well.

I make it a habit to date younger guys 5 years is the usual. Maybe your showing an insecurity when you give your age. Are you hesitant? Don't be. Be proud of the beautiful woman you are. You have lived enough life to be confident in yourself and your age. It is just a number. It's how you present the number that I think makes the difference. Sometimes I get nervous as well but I just p0ut it out there. If they don't like it that's ok someone else will.
 OhPeggy
Joined: 1/28/2009
Msg: 30
Once a woman hits 40 what can she do to help herself w/finding someone fun?
Posted: 2/8/2009 10:19:12 AM

I don't know, I guess I'm done for...I got an application for AARP today in the mail!

that's funny. I got one of those last week! And I thought to myself...how old do you have to be? I look forward to the discounts
 MY OH MY
Joined: 10/11/2007
Msg: 31
Once a woman hits 40 what can she do to help herself w/finding someone fun?
Posted: 2/8/2009 11:44:21 AM
I was in my 30's when I quit my job. My life got sucked out of me. I got rid of the ex in my 40's. That is when I started to live again.

No, it doesn't make sense. You aren't reading what these women write, I bet 99 percent have more fun than you do because you think you should go out with someone that doesn't know how to yet.

I hear life begins at 50, I can't wait to find out how much better it gets

OP you just haven't met the right man, when you do, you will be on top of the world having more fun in your life than you ever had!
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 12/16/2008
Msg: 32
Once a woman hits 40 what can she do to help herself w/finding someone fun?
Posted: 2/8/2009 12:04:46 PM

I was in my 30's when I quit my job. My life got sucked out of me. I got rid of the ex in my 40's. That is when I started to live again.


I was 40 when I changed career and when I divorced. Like emomommy, I have never felt better, freer or more energized. Life is amazing.

I can choose to go to places and be with people who are energized, positive and open, and choose to stay away from places or people who constrain, who shut out, put down and limit.

The only limits anyone should have are the ones they put on themselves. And anyone who considers another human being a trophy of any kind, dusty or shiny, is someone who is part of the life I walked away from. I am mature and confident enough to not let someone else's neuroses and insecurities define who I am. All it does is show who they are; and that's ok if they truly believe that, and are not just seeking negative attention. But it is their outlook, not mine. I am not a product of their reality. I am just me.

I have never been better, and from what I've seen in here, that is true of every last one of us.

Life is good when we hit 40. I absolutely love it. OP, let yourself shine.
 BIGRICK13
Joined: 2/4/2009
Msg: 33
Once a woman hits 40 what can she do to help herself w/finding someone fun?
Posted: 2/8/2009 2:08:16 PM
YOU THINK ITS HARD BEING A WOMEN HER 40s how funny . try being 51 and in a wheel chair lol. people dont look at your heart they look at the fat person in a chair.
i have been here for a couple of weeks sent out nice letters and no responce . but i dont let that get me down i keep sending out them nice letters.
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 12/16/2008
Msg: 34
Once a woman hits 40 what can she do to help herself w/finding someone fun?
Posted: 2/8/2009 4:49:02 PM
bigrick,

I am good friends with a 53 year old in a chair (don't know your situation, but he was a firefighter who was hit by a drunk driver and became an overnight quadriplegic).

Keep your humor and hold your head up high, and know there are people look at the person, not the person in the chair. (I became friends with him after his accident, not before).

Keep on sending them. You will get responses (not all of them good, but not all of them bad either).

good for you on your positive attitude by the way. Shows what an impressive person you are.
 BIGRICK13
Joined: 2/4/2009
Msg: 35
Once a woman hits 40 what can she do to help herself w/finding someone fun?
Posted: 2/8/2009 7:22:36 PM
thankyou for that and i will . we need more people like you god bless you and yours
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 12/16/2008
Msg: 36
 chas guy
Joined: 10/19/2008
Msg: 37
Once a woman hits 40 what can she do to help herself w/finding someone fun?
Posted: 2/9/2009 7:30:33 AM
I can think of a few reasons why the 40 mark is a make-or-break for some guys. Some guys really want to have a family and at 40, that's not really a safe option for a woman. It's easy to imagine a woman not wanting a man who refused children, but it's harder to imagine, a man choosing a woman because of fertility. While it may not be the 'norm' it does happen.
 deletedpost
Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 38
Once a woman hits 40 what can she do to help herself w/finding someone fun?
Posted: 2/9/2009 7:58:24 AM
There is a bit of a double standard. If you want to atract people i think the same stuff applies though .. be yourself and have fun.
 Ready2222
Joined: 5/2/2007
Msg: 39
Once a woman hits 40 what can she do to help herself w/finding someone fun?
Posted: 2/9/2009 8:09:02 AM
I am 44 and it always comes up with the women. Sometimes it's a problem and sometimes not. Sometimes I think its an excuse. They have decided they don't like you or whatever and instead of telling you the truth they use that.
 stillsmilin72
Joined: 11/10/2008
Msg: 40
Once a woman hits 40 what can she do to help herself w/finding someone fun?
Posted: 2/9/2009 10:25:17 AM
um...wow...pretty general...tropys and such...hmmm

Personally I don't care to date anyone under 40, although i have on occasion. I prefer the lack of pretense, maturity, and superficial personalities i seem to find when i have dated in 20's and 30's as opposed to someone in 40's or older who has lived enough to understand the importance of the little things in life, and are totally comfortable in their own skin, regardless of what their friends think...LOL. Yes, there are exceptions in both age groups, but in my experience, gimme the older chickee any day o the week...LOL
 MY OH MY
Joined: 10/11/2007
Msg: 41
Once a woman hits 40 what can she do to help herself w/finding someone fun?
Posted: 2/9/2009 11:10:47 AM
ft
poop floats...

You came on this thread where a woman clearly stated she was having a hard time finding men that are fun. She is over 40. You did nothing but bash women of this age group.

Respect isn't a given, it is earned. You must show it to get it.
 celts123
Joined: 5/15/2008
Msg: 42
Once a woman hits 40 what can she do to help herself w/finding someone fun?
Posted: 2/9/2009 12:33:33 PM
I would not reject a woman just because she is 40 yrs old. But suppose she is older and is around 50 instead of 40. Perhaps a short term relationship could work out between me and a 50 yr old woman. She could be fairly attractive, intelligent, have a great personality etc. I probably wouldn't be interested in a LTR with a woman who is about 20 yrs older than me. I think we would have different long term plans and goals due to the large age difference.
 marxthesmurf
Joined: 6/5/2008
Msg: 43
Once a woman hits 40 what can she do to help herself w/finding someone fun?
Posted: 2/9/2009 3:12:05 PM
I'll never be a forty year old man, but I would think it would be easier for them to date a woman close to their own age group. I don't really understand the generalizations about women being "bitter" and "overweight" over forty, because from my experience in the world, that's just as true for men as for women.

I'm speaking as someone who is twenty-four here, but I just don't know what I'd have in common with a man in his forties beyond pleasant, polite conversations? So yeah, a man in his forties may well be interested in a younger woman, and that's his preference. I just don't know too many women my age who would jump at the chance to be with a man nearly two decades older than themselves.There are exceptions to every rule, but the same "baggage" a woman picks up over time is the same sort of baggage a man would pick up as well. It's life, and what goes for the goose goes for the gander too, nothing wrong with it really, just an inevitable part of living. Sorry for the cliche, but it was the best I could think of at the moment. It would seem to me a man in his forties would want to date women close to his own age, because they would better understand the things facing him in his life at the moment? I mean, things like careers, and house payments, child rearing and such....

What on earth could I possibly contribute to that relationship? I'm still in grad school, renting a little apartment, and just STARTING a career. I would probably be better in a relationship with a guy whose anywhere from my age to say...thirty, as he'd be roughly in the same area of life. That way we could grow together. If I were to get with a much older guy, I think it would always seem as though I was playing a constant game of "catch up." I don't know where I was going with this, I guess I just saw the negative comments about women over forty, and felt the need to say something.
 TakingItSlow66
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 44
Once a woman hits 40 what can she do to help herself w/finding someone fun?
Posted: 2/9/2009 5:41:49 PM
This thread could of been fun if we'd stayed on topic. I mean we are talking about the type of bar where older women look for younger men are we not?
 spicynicegirl
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 45
Once a woman hits 40 what can she do to help herself w/finding someone fun?
Posted: 2/9/2009 6:52:33 PM
fun tall the problem is not that you are only looking for young things but that you've managed to generalise and insult every living female. Do you really think that a hot 30 year old reading this post and what you've written is going to want to date you or even sleep with you for that matter?

You are already a man over 40 and you have an attitude like that. OMG I'm visualizing you at 50, alone and chasing the 40 something women who will be saying - no thanks old man
 english lass
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 46
Once a woman hits 40 what can she do to help herself w/finding someone fun?
Posted: 2/9/2009 8:18:57 PM

I have experienced this many many times....I meet someone we have great conversation and then near the end of the night the age question arises...."How old are you again?"
"Um, 40." "Well it was nice talking to you...." Why is age such a factor to most men it seems? If they are enjoying your company and are about to ask for another date or number, why does age even come into it? AND How do I avoid this without lying....I can't do that.


maybe they're looking for someone closer to their age (either younger or older)... or maybe they're looking to have children and they consider that someone who is 40 wouldn't want to start having children with them in a few years time...

it could be any number of reasons why the way the numbers add up are important, to them :)

the thing is, as with all preferences (and we all have them) each person has their own individual idea of what they're looking for - none right or wrong, but with each preference a person would be either excluded or hilighted as a possible match... age is just a part of that
 best kept secret
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 47
Once a woman hits 40 what can she do to help herself w/finding someone fun?
Posted: 2/9/2009 9:40:34 PM

My interest does not lie in older women, never has, never will.

WHO CARES! We get it! Won't miss ya!
No ones begging you to want them!!


What DOES lie at the bottom?

Easy....your character.


We should learn to 'respect' each others opinions. Fell free to hop onto the maturity train, its a free ride!

"Fell free"? <<<
Yes, little one...you go out of your way to not contribute to the point of the thread and it's tittle, but instead choose to hurl insults in your very general, nasty demeanor ...which sounds more like 12 year old banter than that of an adult.


If one takes time and looks deep inside themselves

Be careful with this one....might hurt your self!


OUT with the old, IN with the new!

OK yes! Your attitude is way past old...new people please.
 WanderingRain
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 48
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History
Once a woman hits 40 what can she do to help herself w/finding someone fun?
Posted: 2/9/2009 10:41:43 PM
You just have to be a fun person to be with. That's all.
Those who discriminate on you based on your age? What do you think you should do in those situations? It's rather obvious, right?
 implode
Joined: 11/13/2008
Msg: 49
Once a woman hits 40 what can she do to help herself w/finding someone fun?
Posted: 2/10/2009 4:35:33 AM
Seems to me that fun tall just tells it like it is. If you think he is shallow then you are something worse, a hypocrit. This site is full of pretenders looking at other pretenders.
 spicynicegirl
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 50
Once a woman hits 40 what can she do to help herself w/finding someone fun?
Posted: 2/10/2009 4:48:56 AM
I never said he was shallow. I am not a hypocrite either. You need to learn now to spell.........................and stop making things up.
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