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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > talking on the phone.........he's on pof      Home login  
Joined: 1/20/2009
Msg: 74
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talking on the phone.........he's on pofPage 4 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
As much as is possible, I stop what I'm doing and focus on the conversation with my woman.
If I'm driving, which is my job, then that will have to be worked around.

But as far as TV and online? I shut em off. I want her to have my undivided attention because I prefer to have hers as well.

Whether it's pof, Yahoo, or just answering emails.... I get annoyed when I hear someone using them during our conversation.....especially if it is stunting the conversation, or the other person grows quiet while they're typing and not following the conversation.

It bothers me and I get offended by it. So I don't do it to others. Also, I kinda get a sense like I'm keeping you or distracting you from something more important than our conversation.
Joined: 12/14/2007
Msg: 75
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talking on the phone.........he's on pof
Posted: 3/14/2009 12:59:28 AM
You know..maybe you just need to work a little harder at getting his attention. Not to be too much of a****..but maybe you were on the backburner and there was a little competition going on betweenyou and someone else in his head.
Joined: 2/28/2009
Msg: 76
talking on the phone.........he's on pof
Posted: 3/14/2009 5:04:00 AM
Use your own judgement with this one. Met a guy many months ago and asked him why he was still on here daily if he was pursuing a relationship with me, he said he gets bored and likes to laugh at profiles. Red flag as he always talked about us getting together but was always busy yet had time to be on here. We were supposed to have a date and on said day I never heard from him so I was going to send him a message on here, when I logged on it showed him on here but he wouldn't answer me then, tells me it was his youngest son, that he uses Tony's profile to look for 20 something hotties, what a bunch of crap! Why would a 21 year old use his 46 year old dad's profile to find a 20 something hottie? By the way, when we met I believe it's his son's picture on here as in person he looks totally different and about 15 years older but says it was taken last year. Be careful everyone!
Joined: 11/28/2008
Msg: 77
talking on the phone.........he's on pof
Posted: 3/16/2009 6:19:44 PM
This is very true, they could be looking at your profile when talking to you. I have talked to men on the phone and they told me they were looking at my pics. You can not assume. Can't blame guy or a woman for surfing until someone takes up their time!! So lighten up I guess!
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 78
talking on the phone.........he's on pof
Posted: 3/16/2009 9:58:47 PM
i think you are jumping to a conclusion that may be wrong. some stay logged on all the time, some like me look like i may be browsing because i show up as online but in fact i am in the forums or watching television or whatever........

why were you on at that time?

seems a little paranoid to me but i am not big on checking up on someone, i figure it will come out in time if it is there. jmho
Joined: 3/12/2009
Msg: 79
talking on the phone.........he's on pof
Posted: 3/17/2009 1:17:42 AM

Are you sure the guy was really on POF when he was chatting with you? My son told me that because of the type of Internet I have that I must physically log off of POF when I am finished. If I do not do that, even though I am not surfing POF, I am registered as being online.
 Jupiter Rising
Joined: 8/16/2008
Msg: 80
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talking on the phone.........he's on pof
Posted: 3/17/2009 3:40:43 AM
I agree with what pretty much everyone had to say:

All you know, for sure (if even that) is that:

You and he were talking on the phone.
He was online...sometime...that day, maybe while he was chatting with you.

You have never met, have nothing going on except conversation.

I personally find it really rude when people chat with me, online or on the phone, while they are also chatting with someone else. It doesn't matter who it is. I think it's inconsiderate and means they genuinely aren't thinking about the effects of their actions on you, at all.

So, I usually cut the conversation short right then, or at the very least, say something like "You seem distracted, maybe we can talk at a different time".

I'd say about 50% of the time the tone of the conversation changes and I can sense that whatever it was that they were doing, they stopped and are now just chatting with me. Some people really aren't thiking about the effect this has on the other person and pointing it out, along with mentioning that you are about to leave because of it, makes them stop because they really do want to keep talking with you.

For the others who keep doing it, I do what I said and leave.

If I get a chance I may chat with them again another time.

If it happens again that time I am gone and that's it other then short conversations that I leave from right away regardless of what else they may be doing this time.

You have a huge amount of control over your end of this. If you just keep doing, while complaining about how messed up this guy (or girl)/this website (or all guys and girls worldwide)/the entire world (and possibly alien cultures also) are then maybe some awareness/growing up is in order.
Joined: 1/14/2009
Msg: 81
talking on the phone.........he's on pof
Posted: 3/19/2009 9:41:12 AM
I dont think that there is anything wrong with it.
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 82
talking on the phone.........he's on pof
Posted: 3/19/2009 11:38:31 AM
Well I don't know if you can tell exactly when someone is on POF...but I think if you're having a conversation with someone...whether or not you're in a serious relationship with them...they at least deserve the courtesy of your attention at that time. If you're busy...say so...if it's not a good time to talk...say so.
I multi task alot when I'm doing things...but I wouldn't talk to someone on the phone and do other things unless I really wasn't interested at all in the person on the phone.
I don't like it when I get IM'ed on here and it's obvious that they have several other windows open. Maybe I think too much of myself...but I think everyone is worth a few minutes of your time...if they're not...don't waste yours or theirs.
Just my opinion of course...
Joined: 7/13/2008
Msg: 83
talking on the phone.........he's on pof
Posted: 3/19/2009 12:00:30 PM
wow...I've been doing this all wrong!

I should be messaging/chatting too/texting/getting to know and talking on the phone to many women! Doesn't that feeling just make ya'll feel warm and fuzzy?

No wonder this site is such a mess!

NO, we're not in a "relationship"
NO, we haven't met/dated yet!
NO, we don't owe each other anything!

and of course, multi tasking is no big deal...........

but I'll be phucking dammed, if I'm wasting my time, giving someone my attention, for them to be checking out/messaging other dudes whilst on the phone with me. Control freak my ass! How quick to label. You have to be kidding me. If 20 or whatever minutes of getting to know me, my time and attention, without "looking around" is THAT difficult, definitely not for me. I personally, turn down the tv, and leave the comp! It's not about talking to others while on here, but the fact there is interest enough to make that effort for me.

Now for all the others, with fiances, SO's and such. How excited and thrilled would you be, if way back, they were typing to you, and 6 other women/men, how excited they were to talk to you, message you......and meet you............AND all those other women/men as well? Seems it removes the "special" feeling for me!

Call me old fashioned, but I refuse to wait or participate in some line. You all can keep playing with numbers, I'll stick to 1 at a time thanks!

Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 84
talking on the phone.........he's on pof
Posted: 3/19/2009 12:11:48 PM
^^^^^ yeah what he said!
Joined: 8/8/2008
Msg: 85
talking on the phone.........he's on pof
Posted: 3/19/2009 3:55:19 PM
That "last time online" mechanism is dangerous!
Maybe he was looking at your profile to help him think of interesting things to talk to you about. Maybe he was looking at your picture.
I don't add people as favorites because I think the ability to check up on people (and who can resist) makes people paranoid and causes misunderstandings. Not worth it!
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 86
talking on the phone.........he's on pof
Posted: 3/19/2009 4:08:48 PM
Did you ever think that maybe they wanted to look at your pic and get to know you better by relating the conversation to your profile.
Either way the fact that you are tracking this person says to me that you have major trust issues and a egocentric sense of entitlement. If you do not know the person well enough to verbally establish boundries than you are putting the cart before the horse .
Trust is not something that you can demand it has to be freely given and it takes time.
You are probably not the first person this person has talked to. Only time will tell you if he is a player.
Joined: 12/30/2008
Msg: 87
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talking on the phone.........he's on pof
Posted: 3/19/2009 4:34:20 PM
No, it wouldn't bother me, especially if I was fishing too.
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 88
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talking on the phone.........he's on pof
Posted: 3/19/2009 5:51:39 PM
Me talking and getting to know someone I've met have nothing to do with me browsing the forums....which is going to show me as online.

I've been a regular in these forums for quite awhile now.....
started as looking.....then for 2 years I was here "for the forums only".....and now I'm looking again.....
when I was "here for the forums" profile clearly stated so.
Hell......when I tried dating a fellow POFer I instantly changed my profile back to "Not Single/Not Looking"....and then changed it back (quickly) when that didn't work out.
and if I do find someone......I will still be running my mouth here!!
I've made great friends......and I have way too much fun here to leave because of someone else's insecurities.
Joined: 8/20/2007
Msg: 89
talking on the phone.........he's on pof
Posted: 4/24/2009 2:34:05 PM
Well first off, I don't check ppl's log in times but what would irritate me is someone checking up on my log in times. I find that a lil 2 weird....and that is being nice...
Secondly, no it would not bother me at all because I know for myself if I talk to someone on the phone I like to look at their profile while I am talking to them so that I don't forget some of the things that I want to ask them about it!! So perhaps that is what this person was doing???
People are too quick to put their backs up and judge. You are just talking to this person, you are not committed , you never even dated sheesh....
Wait until you meet someone and you both decide to get serious with one another before you sweat the small's less stressful~~
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 90
talking on the phone.........he's on pof
Posted: 4/24/2009 3:18:20 PM
Um correct me if I'm wrong but the last time online thing just says online now and online today.

How do you know he was surfing? Maybe he was checking mail. Maybe he was considered on, but tabbed on something else.

And if you knew he was online what were YOU doing on?
Joined: 2/27/2008
Msg: 91
talking on the phone.........he's on pof
Posted: 4/24/2009 6:09:42 PM
lol; good one me me; OP how did you know he was on the site if you weren't on it? why is it ok for you to be on it but not him; Not getting it.

Sounds like you both aren't ready for anything intense.
Joined: 3/17/2009
Msg: 92
talking on the phone.........he's on pof
Posted: 4/24/2009 6:14:13 PM
I agree, you were online too, let's be fair. And before your retort is "I was just seeing if he was"....well, maybe he was seeing if you were too.

Anyway, wanted to tell you that the "online now" thing is not always accurate. I was talking to a girl on the phone, she thought I was online, but I actually had been off the computer for 30 minutes or so. There is a delay there at times, so you cannot always rely on that "online now" message.
Joined: 6/15/2008
Msg: 93
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talking on the phone.........he's on pof
Posted: 5/7/2009 7:06:45 PM
Thank you!
I was beginning to think that perhaps I was the only one ... thought I was Really out of the loop.
It's nice to know that integrity & honesty are not gone entirely.
Joined: 7/30/2010
Msg: 94
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talking on the phone.........he's on pof
Posted: 11/5/2010 11:56:23 PM
Wow. Yeah, brains are nice. Being a **** isn't, though. You haven't even met him and you are already dictating his every move. Chill out woman. You have knocked down every optimistic piece of advice that has been offered. Most of that advice has been much more rational than your pessimistic man-hating conspiracy theories. Sure, he may just be trolling the internet for whatever pu*** he can find, but your gut will tell you more than this creepy analysis of his behavior ever will. It's good to look for clues, seriously, but your neurotic tendencies are extremely apparent here.
Joined: 12/21/2009
Msg: 95
talking on the phone.........he's on pof
Posted: 11/6/2010 6:36:04 AM
I think you are on to something here but I can't be for sure. What you need to do is get a tape recorder and call him back, check it later to see if there is any background noise like maybe water running. This could possible be a woman in his tub. Call him back a few minutes later and just ask him outright about these noises you heard and listen closely to any cracks in his voice or if he has a delayed response. This guy is guilty of something, probably a whole scew of things and finally thank god he got caught.
Joined: 5/24/2010
Msg: 96
talking on the phone.........he's on pof
Posted: 11/6/2010 6:57:59 AM
"(by the "last time online" mechanism)"

It is not accurate, not even close. I have checked it over and over again.
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 97
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talking on the phone.........he's on pof
Posted: 11/6/2010 7:34:54 AM

I can just imagine the egg shells this guy will have to walk on if it ever progressed to a relationship.

no kidding,talk about frigging paranoid and insecure,plus controlling
Joined: 11/22/2010
Msg: 98
talking on the phone.........he's on pof
Posted: 11/27/2010 8:17:59 AM
There is a possibility that he was on POF before your phone conversation. Perhaps he had forgot to log off when he went away from his computer. Even if he was on POF during the conversation, it's not a big deal. You aren't in a committed relationship with him.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > talking on the phone.........he's on pof