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 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 4
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What Would You Do?Page 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Simple, I'd move out, like today.

How long have you lived with her, known her, known her child?
 ruckus123
Joined: 6/7/2005
Msg: 10
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What Would You Do?
Posted: 2/14/2009 12:19:18 PM
Trow the kid out.
 jm0405
Joined: 7/7/2008
Msg: 20
What Would You Do?
Posted: 2/14/2009 1:00:56 PM
I would leave if I were you because the kid is only going to get worse. Instead of fixing the problem, she's living with it. Look down the road - jail time, court time, prison sentencing....Get out while the gettin's good. Your SO is only going to become your Drama Queen Nightmare!!
 sydneyleigh
Joined: 3/21/2008
Msg: 21
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What Would You Do?
Posted: 2/14/2009 1:01:05 PM
The kid is doing these things for a REASON.
Most people, including teenagers, do not wake up and say "gee, how can i fvck up my world today"

Start with counseling for mom and son.
And a man to man talk with the boy, to see if maybe you can get some answers from him as to why he thinks this behavior is ok.

Short of that.
You have to make a tough choice as to whether you want to continue the relationship.

And ftr, its difficult to determine from the original post whether your issue is with the kid, or his mom.

Thus, perhaps, the disparate answers.

sydneyleigh
(mother of a former teenage nightmare)
 Ron9
Joined: 8/10/2004
Msg: 22
What Would You Do?
Posted: 2/14/2009 1:02:39 PM
I dumped the sexiest female - that I had ever known in my life (or ever will know) ..... for this very reason.

She was between my two long marriages. About 18 months of it ..... is all I could handle.

She had two sons 10 & 12 and took (what she thought) was the easy way.

The easy way is not all that great for kids. Kids just can NOT be allowed to run over the adults ....... NEVER.

------

Then I married a gal with two little girls (5 & 7). Their mom let me (and wanted me) to be “dad”.

Dad I was for all those years ...... they did not even try (to run over their mom - they knew better lol).

Fair - firm parenting ..... works.

My girls love me and I am still dad ..... all these years later.

------

OP ....... just let it go (the relationship) - there is NO WAY to deal with out of control kids ........ UNLESS the bio hands the total “buck stops here” to you. It is clear she can’t do it.

There are very few people that are smart enough - to deal with someone elses kids .... UNLESS the bio parent ...... gets it.

My ex-wife (their bio mom) never once - not one single time - tried to trump me ...... that is the ONLY way it can work.

To me they were MY girls (not step-daughters) and they still are - 23 years later.
 reinouir
Joined: 3/7/2006
Msg: 29
What Would You Do?
Posted: 2/14/2009 2:11:44 PM
Don't just lock the door, electrify the door handle. An electric fencer should do the trick. It will either solve your problems or make them just that much worse.

In all honesty if it was me, I would GTFO.
 Zephyr2553
Joined: 12/28/2008
Msg: 35
What Would You Do?
Posted: 2/14/2009 10:05:20 PM
First of all you're LIVING with your SO......at that point you are open season for his brat.

The brat doesn't respect you because you aren't his wife or his mother, or a blood relative. The kid doesn't respect you and probably shouldn't. I would steal anything I could from you and disrespect you at every opportunity because my dad or mom only has you around to screw.

Ok?
 jojoaus
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 41
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What Would You Do?
Posted: 2/15/2009 12:32:06 AM
I think I would move out and continue the relationship from my own home base. I doubt your presence is helping mum to deal with it because she will be torn between enjoying your company in her home, and 'taking care of business' with the son. Who will she give attention to!! Not an easy position for her to be in. Removing yourself from the equation might help her remain focussed on her teen's problems, and hopefully when/if that situation changes, you two can re-evaluate the pros and cons of living together?
 Landra
Joined: 9/10/2007
Msg: 42
What Would You Do?
Posted: 2/15/2009 12:34:11 AM
I'd move out.
Shacking up isn't really a good example for children, IMO
They get to be teenagers and start acting up
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 45
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What Would You Do?
Posted: 2/15/2009 1:24:44 AM
Your question was, what would we do, and we told you what we would do, then you tried to control the posts...big red flag. You barely know this family, dated her for a half a year and moved on in, no marriage, no serious commitment, just moved in on this family and now there are big problems with at least one of the children. Do you see any part of this having to do with mom moving in boyfriend friends or letting men she hardly knows moving in on this kids already troubled life? Do you know anything about her former dating patterns that might shed light on this child's reaction to you moving in? It's his home, he's very troubled and acting out and must have some serious issues to deal with...I hardly think having a boyfriend in her bed should be the top thing on this mother's list. Sometimes you have to put your sex life on hold and take care of your children's needs, and this child sounds very needy. It's her job as his parent to do something about this, right now.

Not only would I move out because I wouldn't put up with this, but I'd move out because it's pretty obvious I should have never moved in. If I'm part of the problem, I'm sure as hell not going to be the solution, not unless I'm making the effort to find and deal with the solution. Sounds to me like, from what little info you've given, you are not any thing of the sort, you are just throwing wood on the fire.

You asked a question on a public forum, don't complain about getting opinions. You don't have to agree with the opinions you got but you asked for them, no reason to get all huffy and whine about people giving you what you asked for. You know what I would have done if a teenager stole money from me, I'd call the police, just like I would with any thief. Consequence are a great deterrent, responsibility is learned.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 56
What Would You Do?
Posted: 3/9/2009 3:00:25 PM
The kid is seventeen? The mother has never bothered to discipline her/him? By now it is too late. You're not the father and it is not your place to impart discipline. If this bothers you, confront the kid as an adult. Tell him/her that is none of your business what he/she does, but not to mess with you or your stuff. Now, if you are living in their place, move out. If you're living in YOUR place. Hey is your place, you are the king, kick them out if they don't adhere 100 percent to your rules.

Is that simple.
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