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 gracengracie
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 46
You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?Page 2 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
exactly my point....we can not be other people's police men. We just need to take care of our own behaviour.
 gracengracie
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 47
You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 2/17/2009 8:15:40 PM
yes Sequoyah61....100% agree in the ADDCITIVE nature of forums....at least they are enriching...
 Ideoform
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 48
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You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 2/17/2009 8:19:08 PM

"Yep, if you're not single you really shouldn't be here."


I thought this way for the first few months... but then, I discovered so many here who have been here a while, met someone, and stayed on. They are guides, gadflies, humorists, perspective-takers, philosophers, and best of all, they are in relationships--some of the better people to offer advice....

Think of it this way. If you are single, how often are you in places with ONLY single people? Most of the time, you are in a mix of people. Even in high school, parties had people who came as couples, and some who came as friends, and some who came alone. The mall, the park, the museum, the beach, bars (ugh), and everywhere else people socialize people who are in relationships are not excluded.

There is an advantage to this for singles. You can meet people who know other people you might like. You can also listen in on conversations here with all kinds of people--not just singles--and occasionally see a single participating you might like.

Another advantage is that people in relationships or who are not looking at all, feel much freer to speak their mind in these conversations. This happened to me. When I was first on here, I was constantly editing everything I said to avoid putting potential suitors off. As I began to date more, I decided to participate more freely here, not less. And this makes the forums more interesting for everyone--even singles. Witness how other dating sites can get very boring because everyone is on their "best behavior" and all the profiles seem to say the same thing...
 Ideoform
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 51
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You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 2/17/2009 8:30:52 PM

"i have also been messaged by women that are offering sex for money"


Please report anyone who is selling something on this site.
Go here:

http://www.plentyoffish.com/faq.aspx#23

Here's a quote from this thread:

"Plentyoffish.com works hard to make sure scammers are deleted from the database. If anyone asks for money it is likely a scam. There are numerous incidents on all types of dating sites where someone asks for money, gets the money from another user, and then disappears. Don’t be fooled by such scams, and be sure to do an official legitimacy check on a person before you send any money.
What Should I Do If I Suspect Someone Is A Scammer / Spammer?

Please contact us immediately if you feel you've come across a scam artist or a spammer. You can click on the Help button to send us a message or click HERE."
 TakingItSlow66
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 55
You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 2/17/2009 8:40:18 PM

oh I guess i need to add that I am not looking for sex either


Umm, not sure that thought crossed my mind but thanks for clarifying.
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 60
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You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 2/17/2009 11:19:45 PM

Yeah they say they aren't looking, then they ask you out. You're all a bunch of bullshitters if you think that you are just here for the forums.

It warms the c.ockles of my heart when the veteran poster of a whole 19 days presumes to not only judge but to know what everyone is thinking.

Even when waxing poetic the dirty word police try to intervene.


What a lovely turn of phrase you have. I assume from your comment that you don't have the ability to be faithful whilst you are in a relationship unless you are on a desert island with no means of outside communication.

Such a shame and I am sorry for you but please, don't tar us all with the same brush...some of us fully understand the meaning of a committed, trusting relationship.

Rockchick, that ditty rocked.

You know, something occurred to me when someone mentioned that the forums were enriching and people can learn from them. A while back there was a thread about God knows what but one person made a sardonic comment about people asking relationship advice from people that are here because of unsuccessful relationships.

OP, do you not see any benefit to interacting with folks that at least at the present time, are in successful relationships? One would suspect that they might have some nuggets of wisdom for making this work. Or, we could keep listening to the people you think SHOULD be on here because they aren't in relationships, successful or not.


Look up at the logo. It says Free Dating Site.
Right. A "date" is an arrangement to meet. There's no reason why coupled people can't make arrangements to meet other people, single or not available, at PoF functions. So that, besides the forums, represents another reason for "relationship" people to have PoF profiles.

Also a valid point I had forgotten, I spent the last pof party I attended sitting at a table with a bunch of local guys I chat with but have never dated, what am I up to?

This topic has been done to death. People either get it and realize that there is no reason to find another site and that this site is preferable to many in terms of the way the forums function among other things, that they are here for the forums and maintaining friendships in the easiest way with people they met here considering I have only successfully made the transfer from here to regular e-mail with about one other person. Otherwise it is like people from old jobs, you lose touch when you don't see them every day.

Or they don't and never will and think people should delete their profiles five minutes after meeting someone.

This seems to be one of those issues like abortion, people are polarized and no matter how many times this is discussed and the same responses are given just different usernames and faces, no one's opinion is really going to change. Particularly those that require el desert island to shore up their faithful tendencies.
 TakingItSlow66
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 61
You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 2/18/2009 5:07:08 AM
This subject is obviously an emotional hot button for those that have found someone but are still here posting on a singles forum.

I have to question why you get so emotional about it. Like you said it's no big deal.
 dave1234
Joined: 11/7/2004
Msg: 64
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You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 2/18/2009 6:00:53 AM

(Msg 30) Yeah they say they aren't looking, then they ask you out. You're all a bunch of bullshitters if you think that you are just here for the forums.


I've received a few emails over the years expressing similar sentiments.

As for partnered people being here perhaps others can benefit from them. How did they establish a relationship and what are their views on specific things?

I'd think single people would appreciate attached folks being here and seeing their comments.
 afashionlady
Joined: 4/19/2008
Msg: 65
You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 2/18/2009 6:07:08 AM
OP...

I'm not in a relationship--have had a few dates--but yes I really am here for the forums.

Believe me...after having 1 date from POF in almost a year...why else would I stick around? Sure, there's a chance someone interesting and close will come along but I'm not counting on that. The forums are at times hilarious, sad, weird, and just down right ODD. Which makes life soooooooooooo much more worthwhile some days

Besides...the entertainment factor I get here I would have to usually pay for!!!
 GoneSailinBabe
Joined: 7/6/2008
Msg: 69
You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 2/23/2009 7:47:41 AM
Yes, OP that's really the truth for some.
 NobleExperiments
Joined: 12/28/2007
Msg: 70
You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 2/23/2009 3:24:15 PM
The thing I love about POF is that it feels more like a social networking site than a pure dating site; it has much less of a meat-market vibe than other sites I've been on. I have several friends - male and female - that are on here, and we're always asking each other to check profile changes or to ask, "Have you encountered so-and-so; should I go on a date?"

I've met some of my best friends through POF; I responded to a forum post, we started chatting, and found we have a lot in common but aren't each others' dating type for whatever reason.

To answer the original question, perhaps a person in a relationship could change his/her status to hidden. This would keep forum options open without the appearance of being still on the market, so to speak.
 TallWillow
Joined: 11/5/2008
Msg: 72
You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 2/23/2009 3:36:04 PM

To answer the original question, perhaps a person in a relationship could change his/her status to hidden. This would keep forum options open without the appearance of being still on the market, so to speak.

That can help, but your profile is still visible in the forums. I've still had people ignore the "Not Single/Not Looking" anyway. Go figure! I suppose there are some people who think "Keep Out" means everyone BUT them.
 aliveone1
Joined: 9/4/2008
Msg: 73
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You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 2/23/2009 4:54:45 PM
Yup. Really.________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 76
You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 2/23/2009 5:27:34 PM

Yeah they say they aren't looking, then they ask you out. You're all a bunch of bullshitters if you think that you are just here for the forums.

Are you implying that these people don't know their own minds? Maybe a person who lists themselves as "not looking" is in fact single and has a legit reason for preferring to categorize themselves as "not looking".
But if you want to imply that anyone here who is in a relationship, or prefers to identify themselves as "not looking" is a bullshitting cheater on the prowl, your arrogance and distrust will be shining beacons warning others away.
Cindy O
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 80
You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 2/23/2009 9:53:44 PM

I've noticed quite a few of you say you have boyfriends/girlfriends, yet you have a profile on a singles site....and you claim you're here just for the threads? I've also seen some girls' profiles and they say they have a boyfriend but they're looking for friends....really?

~OP~ Not all people think in terms of "cheating." I'm here and only here for forums and I'm not even in a relationship. When I was with my former, we "shared" my profile. I'd post, he'd read. If I were looking, it wouldn't be here on POF ~ and if I were fortunately enough to find Mr. Right For Me, this profile stays. JMO
 Minau
Joined: 9/2/2007
Msg: 81
You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 2/24/2009 12:55:15 AM
I see POF as more of a forum site then a dating site actually...I never really think of it as a singles site...although on occasion you may make new friends.
 Just_2_b_me
Joined: 6/22/2006
Msg: 82
You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 2/24/2009 7:38:36 AM
You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?

Yes really, What part of Not single/Not looking, only here for the forums is so hard to understand ?

I like most joined while single, and then after meeting someone I went out and deleted my profiles from every dating site I had ever used, except this one as the forums are just too interesting to give up.

( And yes my girlfriend knows )

What surprises me or used too anyway, (after seeing this thread and some of the posts, I suppose it won’t anymore) are some of the unsolicited emails I’ve gotten from judgmental and high horse riding women that felt it necessary to chastise me, and accuse me of having some nefarious intentions for continuing to have a profile, even one so clearly marked as not looking and or interested in anything other than the forums on a dating site.

I suppose in retrospect I should feel sorry for them, apparently something or someone in their past has caused them to be so distrustful of others that they are incapable of ever trusting again, thus most likely dooming themselves to a life of loneliness as most guys would run from a relationship with someone with these type issues.


 SLAFFA
Joined: 8/13/2007
Msg: 85
You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 2/24/2009 10:16:46 AM
Narrow, closed minded folks are a turn off to "most" people. JMO of course.

As most people know who have been on ANY dating sight for ANY length of time, very few folks will bother to READ profiles or even HEADLINES! There is a simple SOLUTION. And it works. Post a "proper" pic. IF you feel like it. Or want to avoid
"annoying" closed minded people. "Problem" solved.
 DocElffington
Joined: 1/20/2009
Msg: 88
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You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 2/25/2009 3:39:59 AM
In just a short lil while my woman will be travelling the country by my side.

And we're BOTH still on pof!

Now what??
 Redlance71
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 93
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You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 3/3/2009 2:22:37 PM
Ya know, some people can be devious and classless. To categorize all of the ones who keep a profile as classless is in itself devoid of any class. My profile does not disspear if I date someone. I add one simple line to it - "Currently dating. Friends welcome. Penpals, always.". Now maybe my profile sucks anyways, maybe I'm ugly lol! Whatever the reason I have had no problem with anyone wanting something more when that is posted on my profile. Fact is, despite my small town, I find women outside PoF! I still enjoy cooresponding and I will not drop my small social network just because someone becomes a dating interest in my life. Stop being so jaded.
 Verissa
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 94
You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 3/3/2009 4:07:10 PM
Yep REALLY..it is somehow appealing / appeasing to read about others "soap opera" lives and think that maybe it's not just me who is totally effed up.... so yeah I stayed on here even after I got married and had a baby...

I LOVE all of you other effed up guys and gals don't cha' know!
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 97
You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 3/3/2009 5:03:28 PM
They are full of it! You don't go on a dating site to write blogs, when you are in a committed relationship. They are looking for someone else and they just want it known they are in a relationship. DON"T trust them!

There are 5 pages of posts here many who are claiming to be here for the forums. Do you really think all of those posters are lying about their intent? Are those ALL fake photos in their profiles (with their SOs/bfs/husbands/wives/etc., etc.) ? Yep ~ we're a threatening group. Those of us who don't give a ratz-azz about meeting anyone here on POF. Ewww ~ we're all just a bunch of lying/cheating/online players looking for a better deal than we've already got. (Good grief ~ overgeneralize much?)

~OT~ I've been here in various stages of commitment. From mourning the loss of a dear love to venturing into the realm of dating to a short term committed relationship. In all of these years (4++ in two chunks) I've been actively "looking" the total of about 6 months or so in itsy-tiny time frames. Why? I handle my personal life elsewhere. No matter what my personal status is: the profile stays. JMO
 LexyAlexia
Joined: 1/9/2009
Msg: 98
You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 3/3/2009 5:06:51 PM

Yeah they say they aren't looking, then they ask you out. You're all a bunch of bullshitters if you think that you are just here for the forums.


If I plan to cheat, why would I list Not Looking/Not Single? Why would people say they are in relationship. If people wish to cheat it seem more practicle to pretend to be single
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 99
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You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 3/3/2009 5:08:02 PM
Really. It does happen. I was out of the dating scene for 20 years, and I've learned more here than any Oprah episode or chick magazine could ever tell you about the opposite sex.
 REDDRAGON.
Joined: 10/9/2008
Msg: 103
You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 3/3/2009 8:28:05 PM

I've noticed quite a few of you say you have boyfriends/girlfriends, yet you have a profile on a singles site....and you claim you're here just for the threads? I've also seen some girls' profiles and they say they have a boyfriend but they're looking for friends....really?



^^^some people remain to be a constant form of amusement.
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