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 sammylg
Joined: 12/20/2006
Msg: 105
You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?Page 3 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
Only for the forums. The only way it's ever go beyond that is if my gf finds a girl for a threesome on POF....

Unfortunately, she's not on POF.....
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 109
You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 3/4/2009 9:25:10 AM

I've noticed quite a few of you say you have boyfriends/girlfriends, yet you have a profile on a singles site....and you claim you're here just for the threads? I've also seen some girls' profiles and they say they have a boyfriend but they're looking for friends....really?

What's it TO ya? Just because YOU have jealousy issues doesn't mean that everyone else's bf/gf/so has jealousy issues.

Yeah they say they aren't looking, then they ask you out. You're all a bunch of bullshitters if you think that you are just here for the forums.

And this traumatizes you so much that you feel confident you can label everyone who isn't genuinely single and frantically looking for a relationship as "bullshitters?" Makes me wonder what would happen if you were to date one of the married nooky hunters who LIE and claim to be single?

Yep, if you're not single you really shouldn't be here.
Again,what's it TO ya? The option exists, to be here despite being in a relationship or even married.

Look up at the logo. It says Free Dating Site.

If you want to network then try a social networking site. I hear Linked In is a good one.

Again, the option is available to be a member here AND state your relationship status, or your preference of interaction type if you are NOT here looking for dating. If it were to be limited to strictly DATING, not only would the marrieds and the not single/not looking folks be excluded,so would those looking for friends, activity partners,hang out, talk/email, and intimate encounters because none of those categories are about going out on DATES.

think out of respect for your mate u should delete or hide your profile while with them. There are other things u can focus on instead of threads on here. Read a good book or the latest magazines or get a new hobby.

Have you noticed the forums for cooking, creative writing/humor, current events, etc...I'd say the fora here are as good as a lot of the latest magazines.

This subject is obviously an emotional hot button for those that have found someone but are still here posting on a singles forum.

I have to question why you get so emotional about it. Like you said it's no big deal.

I'm not with anyone at this point,what bothers me is the suggestion that anyone here who is either in a couple,or who is not completely focused on "finding someone" lacks honor and integrity. Why do YOU keep belaboring your (dubious) point?

Meh, I still say ask for the password, people are shifty and shady.

And some of the most honest people have an innate sense of dignity, integrity and privacy that is deeply offended when someone feels entitled to violate their boundaries.

They are full of it! You don't go on a dating site to write blogs, when you are in a committed relationship. They are looking for someone else and they just want it known they are in a relationship. DON"T trust them!
And you are so very certain of this universal truth BECAUSE...?

What part of DATING site don't people understand? Do you go to the dentist to pick up rolls for dinner?

Well,suppose someone is IN a relationship but is just generally interested in other people's experiences with dating and relationships.Especially if they are returning to the world of dating and relationships after being away from it for quite awhile...
I will say this much...the people who are so outraged about attached people, or those for whom finding someone to 'be with" is NOT a priority, will probably be perfectly entitled to, and justified in, being here for a loooonng time.
Cindy O
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 113
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You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 3/4/2009 2:03:07 PM
Some of us really enjoy the forums. As for people looking for "friends" of the opposite sex, I'm always a little suspicious of that. The guys I've known in my life who were like that were always a little creepy and weird.
 LexyAlexia
Joined: 1/9/2009
Msg: 117
You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 3/4/2009 8:06:59 PM
^^^ Click delete post link and type "double post" to delete.
 YearoftheCat
Joined: 9/26/2007
Msg: 120
You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 3/5/2009 7:37:29 AM
I can believe it. These forums can be addicting.
 REDDRAGON.
Joined: 10/9/2008
Msg: 124
You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 3/5/2009 3:27:35 PM

Sure, what's so hard to believe about that?
Maybe the guys have some ulterior motive, but women certainly don't need POF to find a guy. They've got friends, co-workers, customers just dying to set them up or ask them out. Why would they need to lie on POF?


Being honest takes the fun out of it for some I guess.

I can't believe this popcorn fart topic made it this far....

 HeartofTxAngel
Joined: 8/17/2007
Msg: 128
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You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 3/5/2009 5:22:13 PM
yeah really I had a profile on this site before I met my boyfriend, yes he knows I have this profile, just because you have a profile on here doesn't mean you want to meet a guy/girl for a relationship
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 140
You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 3/6/2009 11:51:00 AM

It has everything to do with me; it has everything to do with people on here who are serious about finding someone special.

I hate to break this to ya, my friend; but it's my considered opinion that your difficulty in finding what you seek is in no way caused by people who have been successful but choose to remain here at PoF for forums/friendship.
Cindy O
 yna6
Joined: 1/21/2007
Msg: 144
You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 3/8/2009 9:12:10 AM
Hmm..in answer to the question...yes...here for the threads...and boob shots. Jeeze.....
 DocElffington
Joined: 1/20/2009
Msg: 148
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You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 3/8/2009 7:59:20 PM
We're now in relationship, thanks to pof, and we both STILL have our profiles on POF.

She's with me because she WANTS to be with me. And vice versa.

She trusts me, and I trust her.

But.....before she ever came on this site, I made the statement that, if the trust I held was called into question? I would sign on and let my woman peruse my dealings.

Unless I'm planning to surprise my woman with a gift or something positive...

I have nothing to hide from her.
 REDDRAGON.
Joined: 10/9/2008
Msg: 156
You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 3/10/2009 5:32:38 PM
I am merely questioning why anyone would post a profile on a dating site if they are NOT dating? I am calling out what I see as being dishonest.


Hey don't talk about all the married users on this site like that buster.................

I find your theory very amusing......LOL!
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 159
You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 3/11/2009 2:12:44 PM
'it's my considered opinion that your difficulty in finding what you seek is in no way caused by people who have been successful but choose to remain here at PoF for forums/friendship. '
************************************************************

I am doing well, thank you very much.


So, then,what's the problem? Why should you CARE what anybody else does?

Should I post how much I get laid and how many times I have rejected being in a relationship as of late? Does that make me have a more valid opinion?

Not to my way of thinking. Everyone's opinion is valid because it's their opinion.
That said, I tend to give more credence to the opinions of people who are at peace in their own skin and don't depend on their relationship status FOR that peace. Those people don't get all worked up about stuff unless true harm,wrong or injustice is being done.


don't care if people in relationships post here; I realize this forum exists in a vacuum seperate from the dating world

I'm not so sure it's as much a "vacuum" as one might think.

My main complaint is for people who have very explicit, very detailed profiles and are in relationships and NOT LOOKING. That just seems ridiculous. Do I need to know how tall and how much you weigh, and what you like to do on dates!? if you are already in a relationship? Explain that because I find it wierd.

No, you think it indicates people looking to "trade up". Is that what happened to you, Bunky?

And okay you can mention how many times you get laid but heck anybody can get laid. Now getting and staying in a relationship are a bit harder.

Exactly!

Those in relationships are speaking from a position of comfort and power.

I'll remember that the next thread I read of someone boohooing because their relationship partner is making them miserable but they're so scared of being "single" that they stay and suffer.
The true position of comfort and power is deciding that being by yourself/single in no way invalidates you as a human being,and that a "relationship" is the icing on the cake.

They are no longer vulnerable to the yearnings for love, or the lonely feelings that only a love companion can ease.
Again, TRUE self validation,emotional security, truly being at peace in your own skin comes from WITHIN, not from being in a "relationship". This is by no means meant to dismiss or discount relationships/love companionship. But making a hasty/panicky choice about a relationship partner, or becoming totally reliant on a significant other for your identity,your validity as a human being and your purpose for being on the planet,can majorly mess up your life if your SO leaves, dies, or becomes someone you can no longer be with.

A healthy interest in finding the love of your life( be it the first, second,whatever)is a source of motivation and hope.But when it becomes "yearning", "desperation", "panic",
then you put yourself in the path of making unhealthy and/or unwise romantic decisions.

If those in relationships can characterize me or anyone else not in a relationship as being miserable, than I sure as sheet can hypothesize that a large percentage of those in relationships on POF are here for either,

A) nefarious reasons

Well, I'm not in a relationship at the moment and any misery I may or may not have in my life has nothing to do with that fact. I'm not going to go so far as to say I'm "not looking', but I'm not looking real hard.

And if I was so vastly incorrect, then those who have agreed with me, should crawl into a hole as well?

I don't think anybody needs to crawl in a hole. But those who can only see " looking to cheat, or looking for the bigger better deal" in profiles of "not currently single" members, has an injury to their soul that needs care.
I will state my one "caveat"...I think married people who CONCEAL their true status,and use this and other internet sites to look for "a little on the side",should be thoroughly ashamed of themselves.
But for someone who makes it clear that they are involved with someone,and only here for the social networking aspect, I see no harm. And, maybe their profile is detailed because they haven't bothered to edit down. In fact,I think that some of the profile page is "boilerplate", you have to enter information in it.
Cindy O
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 161
You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 3/11/2009 3:57:34 PM

But those who can only see " looking to cheat, or looking for the bigger better deal" in profiles of "not currently single" members, has an injury to their soul that needs care.


but since I shouldn't care (as I have been told,) I stand humbled. I will have to resign from this forum topic,
because I have a soul that needs care and am not comfortable in my own skin.

I was speaking in general terms,making an observation, because yours are not the only posts that drip with cynicism and suspicion.
But if you read my post and see yourself in what I wrote, I'm sorry.
Not that I wrote it, but that you see yourself in my observation.
Cindy O
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 166
You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 3/11/2009 5:40:00 PM

If you cut and paste another persons' posts and then you say that you weren't responding to them directly.. that doesn't equate.

I was responding to YOU, AND others who posted similar wine lists. I have no wish to be rude or unkind to anyone( 51% sweetheart, 41% b*tch don't push your luck!) but it seems like the shoe must fit because you've chosen to wear it.

When you go to myspace, facebook, etc it is quite obvious that those are social network sites...

Yeah. And my 12 yr old nephew, my favorite local band, one of my recreational interest groups,etc all have pages on those sites. I prefer my social networking at a site catering to adult human beings. I suspect others here have that same druther.

And why should I care? Because much like some things being focused on couples, this happens to be something special for single people. Imagine that, now consider the concept of POF actually being for who it was designed for. SACRILEGEOUS! ABSURD!


Dude, you are gettin' way too worked up about a non issue.
If you are having trouble finding whatever the hell it is you are looking to find here, you might ask yourself if THAT tendency isn't standing in your way more than what other PoF members are ( or aren't )doing.
Cindy O
 REDDRAGON.
Joined: 10/9/2008
Msg: 168
You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 3/11/2009 6:37:26 PM

i had a large post ready to go, but since I shouldn't care (as I have been told,) I stand humbled. I will have to resign from this forum topic,
because I have a soul that needs care and am not comfortable in my own skin.

Any further response from me is starting to feel like trolling.



Hey!! knock your self out that's what the forums are here for...."Discussion"

but some of us are beginning to wonder when you are going to stop repeating your self

I must say it's looking highly suspicious
 dave1234
Joined: 11/7/2004
Msg: 172
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You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 3/12/2009 5:18:55 AM

(Msg 194) I am simply stating that people who are in relationships and are on POF doesn't make sense to me.


One of the main reasons for the forums are to discuss problems people have or have had when in relationships which often spill over to their dating practices. That's why forums are left up for years after they were started.

It's similar to an employed person being on a job search site that has a forum or a successful dieter being on a weight loss site or a person with a perfectly running automobile being on a "car problem" site.

POF is not just a search-for-a-partner site. If offers input from successful daters and those in successful relationships.


(Msg 196) But the days of POF being free could dissapear and I see it in correlation to a lot of users' who are in relationships and are mis-using a free service, (among other reasons, as well.)


I don't see successful people offering advice as mis-using the site. If anything, they are adding to the value.

I suppose one could legitimately question why some folks complain about a lack of dates or their inability to establish a relationship while also complaining about the advice offered by people who have had successful dates and are in a relationship.

As you noted in msg 181,
Therefore, its not so much a problem, as it is an observation. One meriting discussion. And if I was so vastly incorrect, then those who have agreed with me, should crawl into a hole as well? It doesn't make me lose sleep, but rather it is a topic of conversation for the forum. Isn't that what the forum is here for?


That's exactly why the forums are here, to discuss issues, and who better to offer constructive tips than those who are in successful relationships?


(Msg 181) Maybe the number of people on here who don't use this website to date are increasing the possibility of this becoming a 'paid' website?


That logic escapes me. Not only is this a dating site but it offers a chance for people to ask questions, discuss issues. Why would added features be a cause for changing it to a paid site? Also, not to imply any specific person may be less than honorable but perhaps the advice offered is a threat to those who are out to play games.

Many here have come out of a LTR. From having dated as a sophomore to dating as a single parent ten or more years later the "program" has changed. This site not only offers the chance to date someone but offers tips on how to proceed, what to expect, where the "rules" have changed. Dating at 22 is not the same as dating at 32 or 42 and I believe that causes more than a few problems and that's where people who have acquired a relationship can offer invaluable advice.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 173
You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 3/12/2009 11:32:24 AM

It is obvious you don't like my point of view. Why is that? Because I think that POF should be for single people? If I changed my profile picture would that help make my opinion more palatable?

Actually, I don't much care about your point of view one way or another. Or your profile picture. As a "lifelong education" student of human nature, I AM somewhat puzzled by your point of view.
Maybe you don't MEAN to come off as seeing the social networking aspect of PoF as being an affront to you, possibly even a plot arranged to inconvenience you. Maybe you don't mean to come across as possibly jealous, or realize that your insinuation that "not single/not looking" members are up to something underhanded,puts YOU in a worse light than the people you are complaining about.

seems like you determined what a website was for and then made a choice. I also am an adult (human being,) and think that POF CATERS to those who are dating.

Actually, I am unattached and looking( although right now that's somewhat desultory LOL). But I do not see those who are in relationships, or not looking for relationships, as any kind of a threat or irritation. The only thing that ever pissed me off about online dating sites is married men who claim to be single and are just looking for someplace to get a little extra nooky nooky. But I don't waste my time creating threads about it. If I have a personal confrontation with a cheating man, I quietly turn him into a toad. End of story.
If people in relationships make you feel bad enough about yourself to call foul, maybe you should focus your resources on sites that restrict their community to allegedly single and looking people.
Cindy O
 jadegreen
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 177
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You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 3/17/2009 2:07:32 PM
Why do you find that hard to believe? The threads are awesome here....
Have you not realized what the category of what your looking for on your profile is for?...duh...some people put friends and really do mean it....I wish they had a category for looking for "fan of forums"

There are really some people that are deceptive about what they are really looking for but they really do give themselve away after a while....perhaps you've run across some people that are not honest....
 Musique08
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 181
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You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 3/26/2009 7:39:33 PM
I joined this site when I became single last year. When I got back with him for a bit I stayed on the site, I put my profile as 'not single/not looking'. I never found anyone off here anyway so even when I was single I wasn't really looking, I really only joined to check the site out because I had become single, I found out about the site, so I just joined in a casual manner, thought why not, and then just didn't bother deleting my profile. He has since left me again... but I'm not looking still. I hardly ever come on here but might as well stay on, for the threads or whatever. People can message me to talk if they want.
 Yankee_Girl
Joined: 12/30/2008
Msg: 189
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You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 4/6/2009 8:08:27 PM
Pull this leg, it plays "Jingle Bells".
 DocElffington
Joined: 1/20/2009
Msg: 192
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You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 4/7/2009 4:48:14 AM
It's pretty ridiculous.........all these people with trust issues.

And it's supposedly other peoples' fault??

I think not!
 jamesthomas92
Joined: 7/27/2008
Msg: 197
You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 4/8/2009 11:20:16 AM
yeah what ever call a spade a spade...I've yet to meet the person that wouldnt cheat if they wouldnt get caught
 bluebeltbjj
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 198
You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 4/8/2009 2:24:23 PM
The "smileforgzus" profile is what led me to this thread. It confused me. I am sure she posted the makeout one to prove she was serious about being with him and to mitigate against dudes contacting her.

So...I just learned a few minutes ago of this subculture/community of people who use the site for just the forum purposes. You people have to admit you are NOT the NORM for the site. A small percentage really. Most people are looking on the site to meet people in person, generally, in hopes of a romantic interest.

I know the original intent of the site was to just be a dating site. The NEW listings of "Not Looking" was only an adaptation because of individuals of this subculture perverting the original idea of the site. The developers correctly decided to adapt to fit your needs as opposed to having you leave and go elsewhere and lose the traffic.

I would care to wager that the VAST MAJORITY of this subculture did NOT START on the site for the FORUMS...but grew a liking to them even after their relationship status changed. True, people are FREE to do whatever they want. But, the backlash you receive is not 100% make believe and without warrant as you want to bash and say.

Some want to protect the original intent of the site so that it still holds that integrity. If EVERYONE changed to being in a relationship but just wanted to use the forum then the single people would need to find a new home. It's akin to THREAD HIJAKING. You guys are web site hijacking!

Other than that...I guess they could argue a bunch of other points like cheating and such. The whole..."my profile obviously says I am not interested and I am happy in my relationship" holds as much weight as saying "i would not cheat on my husband/wife because I have a ring on my finger"....similar form of advertising. Now you tell me...do you think people could still cheat even if they have a ring on their finger? (The answer is Yes by the way)
 dave1234
Joined: 11/7/2004
Msg: 202
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You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 4/8/2009 3:59:30 PM

(Msg 231) So...I just learned a few minutes ago of this subculture/community of people who use the site for just the forum purposes. You people have to admit you are NOT the NORM for the site. A small percentage really. Most people are looking on the site to meet people in person, generally, in hopes of a romantic interest.


If you go to almost any site offering something there are usually testimonials. People who have met here and post pictures/maintain profiles are showing others the site works because there is no lack of "nobody answers my AD" posts.


Some want to protect the original intent of the site so that it still holds that integrity. If EVERYONE changed to being in a relationship but just wanted to use the forum then the single people would need to find a new home. It's akin to THREAD HIJAKING. You guys are web site hijacking!


As far as I can ascertain the original intent of the forums was to assist others in the dating process. That's why the threads remain for years. Who better to offer pointers than someone who has found their mate and are happy?

As someone noted in another thread it's hilarious watching one guy who continually strikes out attempting to offer counsel to another guy who continually strikes out.

Perhaps people should be a little more appreciative of those who have found a mate and are sharing their experience.
 Vancer
Joined: 10/29/2006
Msg: 204
You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really?
Posted: 4/8/2009 4:18:59 PM
I'm not in a relationship, and I only come here for the forums.
4 years ago I was in a horrifying accident, that made it impossible for me to be intimate with humans, and also oddly enough this same accident granted me the ability to speed read forum topics.
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