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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Men over sixty - seem to like women in their own age bracket.      Home login  
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 Seki1949
Joined: 9/4/2013
Msg: 164
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Men over sixty - seem to like women in their own age bracket.Page 8 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)

I see many beta white guy/Asian girl pairings.


I see this at concerts. I don't attend current pop concerts; I attend old-timey jam-band bluegrass 60ish-tribute new-song-writers old-folk-singers non-trendy concerts. Folk-a-delic, if you please.

For Asian women raised on modern pop either in English or their own language, it must all be an incompressible bitter noise. They usually don't seem happy at all while the husband is in ecstasy. I have never been attracted to this arrangement. My prediction is always the husband gets a few good years and then the Big Bill comes due for on-going misery. I sure there are genuine exceptions.

My preference for a genuine affinity for this music, makes my dating pool vanishing small. It occurs to me that I have overplayed my hand badly by aging out and may be single forever.
 Seki1949
Joined: 9/4/2013
Msg: 165
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Men over sixty - seem to like women in their own age bracket.
Posted: 9/12/2015 9:11:16 PM

I wasn't interested in being financially responsible for them for TEN years. Divorced or not. TEN years.


Is that US immigration law? Under what circumstances? Particulars?
 ClooneysMentor
Joined: 8/2/2015
Msg: 166
Men over sixty - seem to like women in their own age bracket.
Posted: 9/12/2015 9:15:59 PM
Yes. Immigration Law.

You must sign an Affidavit of Support, basically accepting that you will help the foreigner attain citizenship status if the relationship fails.


The sponsor(s) (petitioner and joint sponsor, if any) also promise to provide the immigrant with support to reach 125% poverty level if they cannot reach it on their own, and be liable for any government need-based public assistance the immigrants gets in this time.

This obligation continues indefinitely (there is no fixed time limit) until the immigrant becomes a citizen or one of a few other conditions are met.

 sealady111
Joined: 5/31/2015
Msg: 167
Men over sixty - seem to like women in their own age bracket.
Posted: 9/12/2015 9:21:58 PM
There is something similar here when sponsoring someone. Not just a spouse.

Because until they become citizens (I think or maybe permanent residents) they cannot claim any welfare nor utilise Medicare. (Free medical)

If the marriage or defacto or the sponsorship ceases i.e. divorce or you split up the migrant gets deported.
Hence so many here treat their sponsor / husband very well till they get citizenship.
You also have more limited work opportunities as employers have been burned offering people in these situations a permanent job with training etc only to have them deported. It happens quite a bit.


Once you are a citizen you have the same rights as anyone else.

EXCEPT..... We are now talking about stripping people convicted of terrorism (fighting with ISIS) of their citizenship and deporting them back to somewhere else.
Provided they do have another citizenship and will not become 'stateless'.
 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 168
Men over sixty - seem to like women in their own age bracket.
Posted: 9/12/2015 9:26:42 PM
The big problem in dating someone from a totally different back ground is communication. They don't always get the joke or something that I would just know, Now I need to explain it. After a while it can get old. I find that to be the biggest problem dating from different culture. That on its own can be a reason for a break up.

VK sometimes it does look that so many white women beat down on Asians. Makes you think about the why.

I been asked to get married a few time to different Russians women. The highest I were offered was 40,000 plus expenses.
 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 169
Men over sixty - seem to like women in their own age bracket.
Posted: 9/12/2015 9:35:58 PM
If anyone is "beating down the Asians" its because they are jealous of 'em, which is the explanation for alot of people's poor behavior towards one another. I think you know that.


My ex husband was Mexican. He wanted to be white more than anything. Hated with a passion being connected to anything remotely Hispanic. In hindsight, this explains why he married me (white) and his current wife (also white).

OH WELL. As the Eurythmics said, "Everybody's looking for something."
 sealady111
Joined: 5/31/2015
Msg: 170
Men over sixty - seem to like women in their own age bracket.
Posted: 9/12/2015 10:00:54 PM
I wonder how I would ask the men I know who have married younger Asian women in the last few years how the finances worked.
Did they pay?
Or did the woman pay?

I have heard comments that the legalities are expensive, thousands of dollars, mainly to the immigration lawyers and the flights back and forth as many of the applications have to be done overseas, but nothing about who pays.



My ex husband is Irish and we 'had' to get married so he could stay in Australia.
He was on a working holiday visa (backpacker).
I remember the meeting at the Immigration Department when I told them we were planning to get married in about 7 months. They said: "He won't be here then. If you want him to stay you have 6 weeks to get married"

So we did. Back then he automatically got permanent residency then Citizenship 2 years later.




 MaleFeasance
Joined: 3/13/2015
Msg: 171
Men over sixty - seem to like women in their own age bracket.
Posted: 9/12/2015 10:03:35 PM
Women like me can certainly get men to open up.
We can talk to anyone and get them to have a conversation.
We are extroverts.
--------------------
Talking a lot is not the same thing as having a conversation about something. I find that extroverts talk a lot, but don't say much.

--------------------
What are the attributes that negate all of this?
--------------------
For starters:

(1) constant negativity;
(2) blaming failure on everyone else;
(3) being self centered;

---------------
Being open and honest about our situation?
-------------
You aren't open and honest about your situation. Your situation is that you met zillions of guys and that every one of them was a flop. Your spin on that is that you are too intelligent and educated to find someone suitable, which is horseshit. That's just a way to blame other people for your own lack of introspection. My gf has a master's degree and a six figure salary. She is intelligent. She didn't have much difficulty in the date department. You aren't more intelligent or educated than she is. The fact that you want men to be impressed by your financial success and then are surprised by the men who are, says a lot. The fact that lots of women would be impressed by the things you think men should be impressed by, i.e., financial success, says a lot. The difference is that men generally know what they are buying.

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Wanting a man who is similar?
-------------
No, you really deserve someone similar, but you would find someone like that completely unacceptable. I imagine you've met quite a few men who are similar, only you fail to see that similarity.

-----------
Wanting to get to know someone before getting naked?
-----------
You are resorting to a slogan to disguise the fact that you want to use sex for control and you are frustrated by not being able to do so. Sex is not difficult to get, so if you are going to make that a prize, few men are going to jump through the hoops to win it.
 ClooneysMentor
Joined: 8/2/2015
Msg: 172
Men over sixty - seem to like women in their own age bracket.
Posted: 9/12/2015 10:09:26 PM


I wonder how I would ask the men I know who have married younger Asian women in the last few years how the finances worked.


Ask him what he eats for lunch at work :)

Are his colored clothes...dull?

The frames on his glasses...cheap?

Does he like his plastic shoes or Kirkland jeans from Costco?

Does he have a nice cable TV package?

Finally, ask him how often he's feeding her family each week...

 sealady111
Joined: 5/31/2015
Msg: 173
Men over sixty - seem to like women in their own age bracket.
Posted: 9/12/2015 10:15:17 PM
^^^^ Male Feance ...Wow.

Ok I am taking a break from killing weeds in the garden so here we go.

Many extroverts, myself included, love nothing more than getting a conversation going. We are the ones who often get people at a dinner table who would otherwise never talk to join in.

Constant negativity, blaming others and being self centered? Really? REALLY???

Being open and honest about our situation.
We are single, no kids, self supporting and .................

I would never dream to say I am more intelligent than another person.
Intelligence is different for different people. Some of the most intelligent people I have met have minimal formal education.

Never have I asked men to be impressed with my finances. In fact I keep it quiet.
e.g. Drive to dates in my old 4WD rather than my current model convertible.
It is when they find out they often either run or want to be supported.

Besides I am not wealthy. Merely comfortable. The same or less than than my married friends.


Use sex for control..... HA HA HA HA HA HA
Sorry, but that is such a silly statement.
Quite right. Sex is very easy to get for anyone.


Finding someone who is honest who wants an equal relationship is the challenge.


I am still hopeful that I can find one of the good ones.
I know they are around as I meet them every day but they are taken.

The good ones are like rare gems.

Yes I have met quite a few men. Just over 600 I think over the last 10 years.

(Can't remember if I had sex with ALL of them. Must check my diary and rating system lol)
Many were absolutely lovely but not available for a multitude of reasons or not truthful with me or themselves.
I was hopeful and enjoyed the ongoing company of many.

Ahhh memories.


I love men and would adore to have one love me back.



_____________________________

Clooney -- good question.

I know at least some send money overseas regularly.
Not sure how much.
 ClooneysMentor
Joined: 8/2/2015
Msg: 174
Men over sixty - seem to like women in their own age bracket.
Posted: 9/12/2015 10:23:17 PM
LOL Sealady...

I can't tell you how many times her extended family would visit for dinner.

The long faces when I offered spaghetti!
 sealady111
Joined: 5/31/2015
Msg: 175
Men over sixty - seem to like women in their own age bracket.
Posted: 9/12/2015 10:24:57 PM
^^^^ I would relish your spaghetti and bring the wine and possibly some port.

What do you prefer to eat for breakfast?
Would you like me to bring it to you in bed?
 ClooneysMentor
Joined: 8/2/2015
Msg: 176
Men over sixty - seem to like women in their own age bracket.
Posted: 9/12/2015 10:26:42 PM
On this note, I'm tuckin' in...

Y'all can hash out the Asian-Spaghetti dilemma while I catch some Zzzzzz's

Spaghetti in bed sounds messy btw...

The slurping noises might disturb my neighbor with sleep apnea :)
 sealady111
Joined: 5/31/2015
Msg: 177
Men over sixty - seem to like women in their own age bracket.
Posted: 9/12/2015 10:30:43 PM
Spaghetti in bed..

Hmmmm..

Another use for rubber sheets.
 dragonbytes
Joined: 12/25/2014
Msg: 178
Men over sixty - seem to like women in their own age bracket.
Posted: 9/13/2015 5:37:03 AM

I have heard comments that the legalities are expensive, thousands of dollars, mainly to the immigration lawyers and the flights back and forth as many of the applications have to be done overseas, but nothing about who pays.


I think I paid roughly $1430 to get an immigration visa and fees related to a 10 year green card. Not including airfare for my wife to fly from Thailand to the USA.

A lot of people go to USA Homeland Security in Bangkok to get paperwork to file for a visa. If a farang and a Thai women attempt to enter the building, there are 2-4 Thai immigration shills that will attempt to re-direct you to a Thai lawyer. I did let myself get re-directed mostly out of curiosity about what a Thai lawyer would talk about.

My wife understands Thai Government bureaucracy, I have a pretty good understanding of USA Government bureaucracy. I knew nothing about getting an immigration visa, but I understand how to prove things to the government. At first it seems complicated, but I am sure if I did it more than once it would become routine.

So between us, it wasn't really difficult to navigate through all the documents required. You need Thai government police reports, medical examinations, records of divorce decrees, passports, documentation of an ongoing relationship, marriage certificates, everything needs to be translated into English by a certified translator.

Of course, there is a website to help people. Kind of like a forum for those going through this process. It was helpful to me.

http://www.visajourney.com/

The USA doesn't help much in the beginning, but after you get so far into the process, they do have a held desk that actually helps.

Minimum fees are:

Affidavit of Support Review (only when reviewed domestically). $120.00
CR-1 Petition – For the Spouse of a US Citizen: I-130) $420.00
(Attorney Fee: $749 ) Estimate
Petition to Remove the Conditions of Residence $590
(Attorney Fee: $600) Estimate

Maybe$300 for taxis, Thai documents, certified translations of documents from Thai into English, a lot of photocopying,

I never got an attorney, IMO all they do is translate USA government language into common verbal English, they know which documents you need to file. IMO it was foolish to spend money so someone could hold my hand. I have a limited budget, the money spent on an attorney would be better used elsewhere.

If I tried to marry some poor farm girl and I wasn't there to hold her hand, a Thai lawyer would likely be required to help as she would likely not understand the mix of Thai/USA bureaucracy. And I don't have a good grasp of Thai bureaucracy.

The 10 year poison pill that ClooneysMentor mentioned in MSG 218 is a requirement that an immigrant work 40 quarters in the USA before you can be released from your financial obligations to support the person you sponsor. Either that, or the immigrant either returns to their native country for longer than 6 months, or becomes a USA citizen, which takes between 3-5 years.

You could be on the hook for the rest of your life if your spouse didn't want to work, never left the USA and never became a citizen. As Clooney said, you need to provide support to the 125% of poverty level. It doesn't matter if you divorce or how unreasonable your ex-spouse is, or even if she remarries, they have to be maintained if they are under 125% of poverty level.

Congress didn't want immigrants to have to stay in an abusive marriage for three years so there is a provision for spouses in an abusive relationship to leave the relationship and file on their own for citizenship and all the green card stuff, and get a 3 year timespan.

My wife and I had a bit of a disagreement. She wanted me to fly back to Bangkok to accompany her on her flight to Chicago, I didn't want to make and pay for another trip to Bangkok just to hold her hand on an airplane trip. The only possible complication of flying is you have to make a connecting flight so you change planes someplace, usually I do it in Tokyo.

I posted this question on the forums about the disagreement. The responses were very interesting and a little surprising. The consensus was I was being cruel and uncaring, a small minority thought I was being reasonable. The MODs stepped in and deleted a few abusive posts, I would have left them in.

Her flight was uneventful and I met her in Chicago. She managed to get off a short phone call to me while in Narita Japan before her roaming minutes ran out. Short like less than 2 minutes, she had first caller her father to let him know she was in Japan.

https://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts16077570.aspx
 dragonbytes
Joined: 12/25/2014
Msg: 179
Men over sixty - seem to like women in their own age bracket.
Posted: 9/13/2015 6:59:47 AM
SunshineGirl__ Msg: 208

"Heaven is having a Japanese wife, a Chinese cook, a British country home and an American salary. Hell, on the other hand, is having a Chinese salary, a British cook, a Japanese house and an American wife."
-----------------------
Gee….I wonder why someone being referred to as “hell,” wouldn’t find that funny.


Maybe lack of a sense of humor?

I thought the quote was a witty form of humor.


Of course, that’s that guy’s mission statement. He tells you what to want, and some people need to be told, so you’ll buy it from him. He’s a shill and a salesman, women are his commodity and loveless men are his targets.


I do agree with you there, Gary Clark was aiming at selling his book, Your Bride Is In The Mail. And he got married twice to mail order brides. No doubt he had an agenda to sell more copies of his book.


We’re “hell” because we expect something of men and don’t want our feet bound and misshapen strictly for your visual enjoyment. I bet the Japanese women don’t consider American men “heaven,” but then again, what they think hardly matters, and they’re not “paid” to speak the truth, or anything at all.


Your impression of Japan must have been formed by reruns of Yul Brynner king and I. You obviously don't have any idea of what modern Japan is like.

They have long ago moved from the whole foot binding and small feet fetish. But it was a Japanese thing long ago, and not something I find attractive.

Today Japan is a world leader in fashion.



Lolita fashion is a fashion subculture originating in Japan that is based on Victorian-era clothing, but the style has expanded greatly beyond Japan.

Lolita fashion is thought to have been partly created to react against the growing exposure of the body and skin in modern society. Adherents fight this with modesty, presenting themselves as "cute" or "elegant" rather than "sexy".[5] One follower of the Gothic Lolita fashion explained:

We certainly do not do this for the attention of men.


https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lolita_fashion

Japan is considered to be one of the top 4 nations in cutting edge fashion. The USA is in 8th place.

Few nationalities take dressing up to such gleeful extremes as the Japanese.

Previous generations may have wallowed in conformity, but youth fashion in big cities such as Tokyo is the antithesis of the graceful lady wrapped in a kimono or the business-suited salaryman.

http://travel.cnn.com/worlds-best-dressed-nations-148711

BTW, I created a new thread specifically about mail order brides, just so we don't keep moving off topic so often.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 180
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Men over sixty - seem to like women in their own age bracket.
Posted: 9/13/2015 8:53:31 AM

VolkanoKing
Men want younger women.

At 48, I'd be happy to find a cool guy in his 60's. But no one bites. I don't seem to cut it for anyone. I have no issue with someone 20 years older than me but no one approaches me. I am WILLING to connect, but there is no willingness from men, of any age. Weird.

Interesting. Very few women of your age will date a man in his 60’s. There are some, just not many. What’s interesting is that, in my experience, women from about 39 up to around 52 are equally likely to date a man over 60. Maybe 5 or 10%?

From around 53 or 54, the numbers go up dramatically. Better than 50% of women 53 or older have no problem with a man over 60. Which is, of course, the tilted playing field that I have talked about before. I now set my search parameters to 53 and older, I have not contacted a woman younger than 53 in more than a year. Several women younger than that have contacted me, though. And not all were looking for a sugar daddy (although most were).


VolkanoKing
I see many beta white guy/Asian girl pairings.

I have never once dated a younger Asian woman. I have dated several Chinese, and two Vietnamese women in my general age range (55 up). Things went so badly that I gave it up as a bad idea, and will no longer consider dating any Asian women. The ones my age are conservative to the extreme, and no, I don’t mean politically.

I follow the “must kiss by the end of the first real date” rule, as has been discussed here previously. These Asian women would probably be willing to hold hands by the tenth date, maybe, if they really liked you. So no, not for me.


Seki1949
I don't attend current pop concerts; I attend old-timey jam-band bluegrass 60ish-tribute new-song-writers old-folk-singers non-trendy concerts. Folk-a-delic, if you please.

My preference for a genuine affinity for this music, makes my dating pool vanishing small. It occurs to me that I have overplayed my hand badly by aging out and may be single forever.

I see a lot of interest in older music, and big crowds attending older concerts.

Last Friday night, thousands of people were at an Elton John tribute concert. (Highly recommended, by the way. AlmostEltonJohn.com ) The biggest local band here in Houston is a Beatles Tribute Band, The Fab 5.
 PassionateSunnyGal
Joined: 7/23/2015
Msg: 181
Men over sixty - seem to like women in their own age bracket.
Posted: 9/13/2015 8:30:30 PM
I just really don't get all this AGE stuff...you can have two people who have lived two different lives and be the same age and they can be worlds apart on things...some 60-year-olds are closer to 70 in the way they think, act, health etc and some 60 years olds are in better health than 50 and even 45-year-olds...base it on the person, not the age.

Someone can be the image of health and have a heart attack the next day...there are no "knowns" anymore...and least of all is age determining the mindset and abilities of a person.
 sealady111
Joined: 5/31/2015
Msg: 182
Men over sixty - seem to like women in their own age bracket.
Posted: 9/13/2015 9:02:33 PM
^^^^ Then I am in trouble.

I have been told that I have a mental age of 13. lol
 spot4username
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 183
Men over sixty - seem to like women in their own age bracket.
Posted: 9/14/2015 5:33:49 AM
My best friend is 61 and our immediate circle is about 53-65. I am the youngest one in "our group".

I would date a man in his early 60's provided he was in good shape and everything works If I am attracted to him ... I am attracted. That's how that works. I am honestly more open to a man older than my preferred age range than younger.

I have written about it before but one of the biggest issues with older men is their schedule - or lack of one. They want to travel or take off on day trips at the drop of a hat. I can't. I work and not for the fun of it but because I have to. I can't just not work for a week or two. I make the schedule at work but I have to take my employee's life into consideration. I can't just say "oh, schedule is changing". She relies on me to make the schedule and stick to it. I find that retired men want me to have a lot more leisure time than I do. We are not a good fit because we are at different stages in life.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 184
Men over sixty - seem to like women in their own age bracket.
Posted: 9/14/2015 8:00:23 AM
^^^It's called being compatible, which is not age or gender specific. Find someone who has the same goals and lifestyle as you, instead of focusing on what you DON'T want.
 BlackLady1953
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 185
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History
Men over sixty - seem to like women in their own age bracket.
Posted: 9/19/2015 5:18:26 AM
I am in a similar situation, Spot...retired from full time work, but working part time (because I am self-supporting and need the money).
Retired men either see me as someone who doesn't have enough time to be a "wifey-type" girlfriend (I have my own house to clean, food to cook, clothes to wash), who can't travel all the time. No compatibility.
 Blonde_Angel_In_Tennessee
Joined: 9/10/2015
Msg: 186
Men over sixty - seem to like women in their own age bracket.
Posted: 9/19/2015 8:06:11 AM
I'm 56 & living w/ a man who is 63, we are both retired & get along great, so I dunno...I guess we can't paint all people w/ the same brush.

I do think he is tickled to be w/ a woman 7 years his junior. The largest age difference I had since post marriage was a 3 year relationship w/ a man who was 8 years my senior, plus a 3 year relationship w/ a man who was 12 years my junior.

Dating/relationships can be formulaic in regards to behavior, but as far as age & geography, perhaps not.
 IrishBlues4Uv3
Joined: 8/15/2015
Msg: 187
Men over sixty - seem to like women in their own age bracket.
Posted: 9/20/2015 8:42:46 AM
Perfect!
Bonus points for style!
 prettyflowers
Joined: 7/16/2012
Msg: 188
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History
Men over sixty - seem to like women in their own age bracket.
Posted: 9/20/2015 2:24:02 PM
I adore my 68 year old man!!!!! He is smart, polite and a true gentleman..Takes me to classy places and is romantic....Just love him to bits!!!!!
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