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Joined: 9/10/2007
Msg: 2
Why sabotage what was turning into something great?Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)
You confused infatuation for "love". You really knew very little about her at the 6-week mark and she knew this. She has issues with sex, issues with marriage, issues with her sloppiness..... So while it was all sexy fun and laughs at the start, the reality was: she's probably not going to live up to your ideals. So she backed off and you dumped her. You loved who you thought she was, not who she really was.
You now sound angry and indignant, which means you didn't really "love" her-- you loved having a girlfriend whom you thought was funny, attractive, and "just your type" when in fact she was also indecisive, messy, etc. So I doubt very much you loved her, you just loved the idea of who you thought she was in relation to her suiting your needs/fitting your bill.
Joined: 9/10/2007
Msg: 6
Why sabotage what was turning into something great?
Posted: 3/5/2009 1:35:40 PM

waiting nearly 7 weeks for sex
Oooh another man ready for sainthood! That's not even 90 days! You don't even get benefits at a new job until you hit the 90-day mark-- if you're kept. 7 whole weeks you say? WOW!

characteristics like being late, lazy, and a total pig when coupled with the above emotional problems just increased my disdain for her.
Are you talking about your former wife or your former lover? Sounds the same to me. Because in your first post you say your former lover would always comment on how many negative traits she had similar to your X.....messiness, indecisiveness, piss-poor time management, always late.

First you say you felt disdain for your ex-wife, then learn your ex-lover shares similar qualities and you say you "accepted her quirks".

Fact is, you picked a woman exactly like your ex-wife, right down to the emotional problems. Someone who was physically abused in her first marriage, mentally and emotionally abused by her father, and ignored emotionally and physically in her second marriage needs therapy. These are not "quirks".
You're upset that you couldn't rescue her and make it all better.
Joined: 9/10/2007
Msg: 9
Why sabotage what was turning into something great?
Posted: 3/5/2009 2:40:24 PM
she was enjoying us making love....only to push me away again....this happened so many times I lost count....I got angry....basically asked "what the hell"...she started crying.....I asked her what was wrong...what was going on.....

any adult that enters into a dating relationship and doesn't expect it to progress to sex has no business dating, is immature, and socially retarded. I suspect that if you made moves on a guy and after 7 weeks and he still wouldn't screw you, you would be questioning his sexual orientation.
Joined: 4/6/2007
Msg: 17
Why sabotage what was turning into something great?
Posted: 3/6/2009 8:49:42 AM
You can't fall in love in 6 weeks? Who made that up? Of course you can, and you apparently did.
Joined: 4/3/2006
Msg: 21
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Why sabotage what was turning into something great?
Posted: 3/6/2009 11:01:43 PM
Hellooooooooo, I remember reading that book back in college haha (I remember hearing/reading that quote). Either way you look at it, she could have had another man, could have been in turmoil with her past, or it could have been an excuse... It really doesn't matter. Only thing I can think of, where you might have lost it was the "L" word. Saying it too soon says a lot of things, especially to a woman. Yes 6 weeks is too soon.

Now I i think you might say I'm " wet behind the ears", or "I AM a wide eyed teenager". With age does NOT come everything. Remember that. I have hooked people up twice my age, and I'm what 23? Not everyone is blind :).

I don't know about you, but I don't take everything someone tells me as 100% truth/fact. You said you were the first for a lot of things, thats fine, but how do you honestly know you were? I'm not trying to diss or down you with anything, I'm just thinking that if it was how you said it, you both would be "in love". If that's how it happened, something must have been wrong ( aforementioned )I'm not your nor her... Just my 2 cents from someone younger lol.

Take it how you want, could have been something you said, or something in her past, who knows?
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