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 pbr89
Joined: 11/24/2008
Msg: 51
Are we a tad spoiled by POF and a bit ungrateful for its services?Page 3 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
I have to laugh at this whole debate.

Isn't it advantageous for a dating site to have it's clientele on the site forever? Gee, if the site is successful in getting people together wouldn't that decrease the site's base of people? And decrease the site's revenues? It's very disingenious.

I still think the best way of getting people together is forcing them together, be it family, geography, etc.
 el_jefe_tx
Joined: 9/26/2006
Msg: 52
Are we a tad spoiled by POF and a bit ungrateful for its services?
Posted: 3/10/2009 10:36:36 PM
10 female "serious members" contacted.

5 responses.

5 women given free "serious member" upgrades.
 fueledbypez
Joined: 7/6/2008
Msg: 53
Are we a tad spoiled by POF and a bit ungrateful for its services?
Posted: 3/11/2009 12:47:40 AM

Ever since i launched this "serious member" thing my female signups have shot up and I get paid for people buying it.


Well, as a promotional tool - offering free signups for anything that would normally cost money is pretty much always going to increase signups. It's pretty misleading to say it's a paid for badge, when it's given away for free to women only. It basically invalidates the entire premise behind it - that these people are somehow more serious.

I think this site deserves to make the money it makes - it provides a service that people use. I just don't think it's necessary to change the formula in this way. There are pay sites for people who want to pay for it. There are free sites for people who don't think they should have to.

This half-pay/sorta free thing is confusing and sends a mixed message. I think the success of this site is the fact that this was never a part of it. I also think that rather than making people seem more serious than others, all it does is suddenly make the rest of us seem less serious. No matter if the site is pay or free, it just shouldn't be both. We should all be on a level playing field - if free dating site isn't the field someone wants to play on, they would go to a pay site, you see?

In the end, it's not my site. I just visit. I'd never pay for it - it's why I'm here instead of Match or True or whatever else. If this site were to go all pay, or if this pseudo pay badge gimmick becomes a distraction or a hinderence to the main purpose of this site... then I'll leave. I'll say this - if you had a paypal donate button on a home page, I'd be more likely to donate anonymously (assuming I didn't know how much money this site makes already) than I would be to pay for a badge.

I'm not outraged, I'm disappointed. That's not what this site was about when I signed up.
 lateef7842
Joined: 4/14/2008
Msg: 54
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Are we a tad spoiled by POF and a bit ungrateful for its services?
Posted: 3/11/2009 12:48:47 AM
I don't think it's a bad thing. You're still paying less than any of the other sites. However, I think if POF should offer something more than just a yellow dot denoting seriousness.

Add voice chat to the IM feature and I'll upgrade.

Note: if POF implements this feature, I want my cut. ...lol

Lateef
 mahnahmahnah
Joined: 1/11/2009
Msg: 55
Are we a tad spoiled by POF and a bit ungrateful for its services?
Posted: 3/11/2009 5:36:39 AM
I don't appreciate nor want this free upgrade - it's embarassing - Triple the views because people click on you to see what kind of loser would pay on a free site.

It's a desparate call for attention and it doesn't attract the men I would like to find me appealing

And I would like it removed . Now.
 fueledbypez
Joined: 7/6/2008
Msg: 56
Are we a tad spoiled by POF and a bit ungrateful for its services?
Posted: 3/11/2009 5:42:18 AM
^proving my point. This is a bad idea, admin.
 smiliegirl15
Joined: 7/15/2006
Msg: 57
Are we a tad spoiled by POF and a bit ungrateful for its services?
Posted: 3/11/2009 7:34:39 AM

My opinion ... will be to still look at the bottom line of how a profile is written, regardless of dots, badges or the such.

BINGO!
If people want to pay to be more serious, they kinda just end up looking more desperate. If paying made that much of a difference, this site would not be as successful as it is.
 chidan78
Joined: 10/11/2008
Msg: 58
Are we a tad spoiled by POF and a bit ungrateful for its services?
Posted: 3/11/2009 7:42:06 AM
Not saying this will happen here, but I've been a member of different sites (non-dating) that all of a sudden offered an optional paid membership upgrade. Without fail, within a few months the owner sold the site and the paid memberships became worthless.
 FUNGIRLWANTED
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 59
Are we a tad spoiled by POF and a bit ungrateful for its services?
Posted: 3/11/2009 8:13:56 AM
Just got a e-mail from a friend of mine who said to check out a profile of a lady who got one of the free gold badges. He dated her a couple of times last year, and she is a total player and as far from serious as they get. Yet right under her profile was a lady I met myself last year who is as sweet as they get and is the epitomy of a serious member, but yet she has no gold badge. You can't just randomly hand out promotional gold badges to people you deem fit as serious members. Until you actually know a person face to face you can never tell if they are as serious as you for wanting to find someone. Geez all you need is for some of those free gold badge members to show their true colours ,and you will have people leaving the site thinking that if the so called serious members are players what are the rest of the people?
 Ideoform
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 60
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Are we a tad spoiled by POF and a bit ungrateful for its services?
Posted: 3/11/2009 8:23:16 AM

"It's a desparate call for attention and it doesn't attract the men I would like to find me appealing"


A lot of what normal everyday people do in the "real" world as singles are a call for attention. Things like buying the latest shoes, the most expensive purse, getting a toy dog to look like a certain celebrity, hairstyles, clothes, plastic surgery...and for men, the sports cars, Harley's, expensive cell phones. This is a very normal and accepted way for people to be in our culture. Its even encouraged to help our GNP!

The word "desparate" comes to mind when people do things that don't agree with their values, or offend other's values in order to get more attention. This might be on the line of much more plastic surgery than is healthy, or too little clothing, or some outrageous language or behavior...

There are two different things going on here. There is a value to things of beauty, of art, of style and grace. And even things that are glittery, funny, silly and distracting. You can put a price on this, such as the tiny price it costs to buy glitter to put on your fingernails like some teenagers do, or perhaps pay extra to decorate your car with pinstripes or vanity plates.

Artists face this dillema--that when push comes to shove, their work isn't "essential" or necessary. But a beautiful building done by a famous architect really added a lot to my city. Was it essential? No. But thousands of people will walk by this building over its lifetime and get pleasure from seeing its graceful curves, which make it look like a sailing ship, and it adds to the quality of life of living here.

People also value their uniqueness. The ability to customize what they use on a daily basis to suit their needs and show part of their personality. We as a country have become much more tolerant of the many individual personal styles people have. Football players with long hair, Goth teenagers, celebrities with the latest whatever draping over them...

Profiles are difficult to write, partly because there is so much customizability...its a blank page we somehow have to fill in a way to show who we are without giving away our identity too much to scammers. So something that makes some people stand out in a simple way like a yellow background or a dot is helpful to some people. Perhaps it is the convenience...who has time to learn to become a creative writer just to draft a profile for a site to meet people? The busier people are--the more timesaving things like this will be attractive to them and useful for them.

I'm not saying that this automatically makes them a better choice for someone to write to. I think some people might assume that busy people are successful people. And it doesn't make anyone who hasn't got the extra dot look any "worse" or any less serious. Just as if I were wearing very expensive shoes in a meeting, doesn't make every other person in the room automatically look worse.

Now, if I went to a party very over-dressed, that might make some people jealous or uncomfortable if I was a knock-out. (Or I might be embarrased for not knowing it was a casual party.) But a gold dot, or yellow highlighting is hardly being overdressed at this party.

People have accused BigFish of being greedy. Which is another way of saying materialistic. We live in a materialistic culture. Our economy is based on materialism. And the many complaints about having a paid option are based on the same materialistic reasoning.
 Fyte Wryte Tyger
Joined: 12/26/2008
Msg: 61
Are we a tad spoiled by POF and a bit ungrateful for its services?
Posted: 3/11/2009 8:25:24 AM
Have we gotten to the point where we'd rather just look at the gold dot to see who are the really trustworthy ones? All it really does is show their desperation as this is supposed to be a free site. I know i'm a serious member becuase I've been on this site for close to six years. I don't need a stinkin' dot to prove that I'm serious! The sad thing is that I'm seeing more people that have upgraded lately.

Here's a thought: if this site's supposed to be free then why not just let us upgrade for free? Or better yet let's just get rid of the feature altogether. It's like saying that if you don't pay to upgrade then you're not as good as those who do. Besides, half the people who have upgraded have too many restrictions on who contacts them. It's more like seriously picky than serious, but whatever.

As for the poster who previously mentioned free speech? There is no such thing unless you want to be bashed or banned. Usually that's what happens when we express our own views on here and try to get helpful advice. People are usually too uppity and self centered to help the people here. So for everybody that disagrees with the profile upgrade expect to be bashed!!!
 Silver$Surfer
Joined: 10/28/2008
Msg: 62
Are we a tad spoiled by POF and a bit ungrateful for its services?
Posted: 3/11/2009 8:44:35 AM
"Oh and by handing out all these free "serious" memberships - how do I know if the people that have them are actually serious or did they just get them for free???


Well it seems that many on the main site are figuring this out. This new development has placed a negative on the new feature. Free Memberships have started a trend of mis-trust. The credibility of a "Serious Member" is now in question on the main site.

Edit..Just saw a member with the Tag...*Member has no picture in there profile*. How many would consider this member without a picture a "Serious Member" ?
 Fyte Wryte Tyger
Joined: 12/26/2008
Msg: 63
Are we a tad spoiled by POF and a bit ungrateful for its services?
Posted: 3/11/2009 8:57:30 AM
Yeah, why should only women get free membership upgrades anyway? Isn't that being more than a little sexist? That's like a lot of other sites that let women join free but us guys have to pay for it! I know I'm a lot more serious about finding someone than a lot of the women I've contacted! So why don't I get a free upgrade? I've been here for 6 years and you don't consider that serious? GIVE ME A BREAK!!!!

If this feature lasts two months I'll be surprised. But as long as people keep on paying for a status symbol then it will continue. It baffles me why anybodyu would want to pay for a stupid gold star! Is it because they feel they need to be noticed? It's like the owner saying:

"If you don't have a gold star you're not going to get noticed as much and you simply don't matter as much to us because we need money, but we just aren't going to word it that way"...
 Ideoform
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 64
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Are we a tad spoiled by POF and a bit ungrateful for its services?
Posted: 3/11/2009 9:08:27 AM

"You're probably being a bit alarmist with statements like "This is a sad day for PoF". We don't have to agree with the system,...we don't have to belittle or insult the site itself, or prophesy its doom, as a result."


I agree with that. I think people might be over-reacting a bit. But in some ways that is a good thing because it shows how much people care and benefit from using this site.

If Marcus is thinking of hiring an employee, or buying a new server, or selling this site, he can, and make changes to do what he thinks is necessary, or even make superfluous changes. Someday he might have a baby girl and change the entire site color to pink!

If this site becomes unattractive, unmanageable, or too expensive, or not useful, another free site will pop up (and this has happened with one portion of this site already, a forum part) and people who like the lost features and total "freeness" will migrate over to there.

However, there is a huge advantage to being huge. This site is very large, and managed pretty well for one employee (BigFish himself) and a bunch of volunteers. It's hard to be all things to all (what is it, 10 million?) people.

Anything that limits the numbers will limit its value to people like me who like people watching. Its way more than a dating site...it's a social site.

BigFish has had trials of a number of changes. If this change is too much, he can decide to change it back. But why would he do anything that would "doom" it?
 Fyte Wryte Tyger
Joined: 12/26/2008
Msg: 65
Are we a tad spoiled by POF and a bit ungrateful for its services?
Posted: 3/11/2009 9:17:20 AM
Above poster lady it only makes sense you would support it since you have a gold star on your profile. This isn't fair to people like me who have been on this site for six years. Heck, it's people like us who should get a free gold star for membership longevity! Let's band together and fight to take this stupid feature down! I've heard one lady say it was a "loser tattoo" but i think it makes us who don't pay for it feel like lsoers because we long term members are the ones that deserve the stars not these newer members...

If you're going to be giving away free stars why not some for the guys too? veyr sexist feature... Furthermore people don't tell me how to react to what I and many others think is wrong... :(
 Ideoform
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 66
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Are we a tad spoiled by POF and a bit ungrateful for its services?
Posted: 3/11/2009 10:28:09 AM
Thank you for calling me a lady. (Blushing.) Are you available? Just kidding. Does the gold star make me seem more serious or more flirty, (or both, maybe)?

Cute puppy. I think I will copy that idea. Puppies always steal the show on television. Hiding much, are we? Come out, come out, wherever you are. I have Scooby snacks....

I think everyone has gold-star-envy. I got used to that when I was a little girl and had penis-envy. Well, not really. But I'm not really being serious here.

It's as serious as you want it to be.

I think everyone here should act more serious so everyone else can trust everyone else. Let's start a serious dating revolution!

We are all what makes PoF what it is. Marcus doesn't create the dynamics here--we do. If we all act like middle schoolers who tease the guy with the red hair, or the girl with glasses (yup, that was me) or envy the kid with the copyrighted cartoon lunchbox then that is what we will end up with here.

Hey, give me my lunchbox back!!!!! Darn it, that one was hard to find...
 Stefyleigh
Joined: 8/6/2008
Msg: 67
Are we a tad spoiled by POF and a bit ungrateful for its services?
Posted: 3/11/2009 10:40:56 AM
I mentioned this in an earlier post:

I have some suggestions for upgraded member services.

The possibility of posting more pictures.
Access to more emoticons.
The ability to post pictures of special interests or pets without censure (not as main picture)
An improved font or choice of font or colors one can post in.

Just some ideas. I appreciate the site for what it is and that it that it has been offered as it was.
 TrialAndError
Joined: 4/21/2008
Msg: 68
Are we a tad spoiled by POF and a bit ungrateful for its services?
Posted: 3/11/2009 10:54:30 AM
I will agree that if the membership offered more a service to the people who pay for it, it will be worth it to deem them "Serious"

Allowing access to Photo Albums of more than 7 or 8 pictures.
Full customization of their page
Brand new IM feature or chat feature (since chat rooms have always been better)

I could go on but many other members have voiced what they think would justify the cost.

As it stands, all the girls I know that have gotten the badge got it for free. Admin you know how hard it is for guys to get responses to the hundreds of messages they send out, and now you've made it even harder by increasing the volume of messages women get, by "randomly" selecting them for a free upgrade.

I can guarantee you statistically wise, the 70% of the guys on here are much more serious than women, BECAUSE of the fact that they have to message constantly just to get ONE reply back out of 50.

You've made a sexist choice by only giving your free upgrades to women, as to further entice men to "pay" to get in, and I can assure you that the number of messages guys will receive won't change drastically.

As to your mods who are backing you 100%, I understand that they have a need to justify this "Badge of Merit" but at the same time, it doesn't seem as though they are listening to the masses.

The masses say, "I don't like it", and their response, "Well you have no reason to complain and we know what we're doing". If the majority is voicing an opinion, I think it's best to listen.

That being said, I still enjoy the free service that POF offers, but if you actually upgrade the "Serious Member" portion, I would 100% agree with people paying for it.

Just be fair in your approach of it.
 Fyte Wryte Tyger
Joined: 12/26/2008
Msg: 69
Are we a tad spoiled by POF and a bit ungrateful for its services?
Posted: 3/11/2009 11:18:21 AM
I'm glad tos ee I'm not the only one who thinks this is sexist. I think the only people who really deserve to get a gold star are the ones that have been here for years. We've earned our stars and a lot of these newer members haven't had to put up with half of the garbage on here as us senior members have! LOL!

So where's my free gold star? I'm one of the MOST serious members on here and you give stars away to women who have so many restrictions hardly anybody can contact them...
 Casey Jones53
Joined: 1/22/2008
Msg: 70
Are we a tad spoiled by POF and a bit ungrateful for its services?
Posted: 3/11/2009 11:59:54 AM
It's a fundamental law of biology that men will chase women. The reason there is a very marked uptick in female sign ups is the volume of mails women have to contend with when on a dating site. I'm sure it's one of the big downsides for women and a major reason that keeps them from joining. The problem is how do they (women) weed out the serious from the frivolous.

eHarmony is popular not only because it's a premium pay site (very expensive even for pay sites) they also offer a very serious and highly structured method aimed at doing exactly what they advertise and that is find a them someone who is truly compatible with them. In essence, people pay for this not only because they are serious, but because you get what you pay for and their reputation is that they find someone who is not only serious, but that as a member of eHarmony they give people a short list of prospects. It also appeals to those who have little time to do the screening themselves and have a proven method that people trust will deliver the goods.

I see PoF as a site for the do-it-yourselfer in the dating scene. There will always be people who are hands on. It requires members to be skilled enough to be able to screen potentials themselves. Your personality test gives people a basic guide to those who might be compatible with them. The more tools (tests) you give people to make their choices, the better their results will be. The problem for the do-it-yourselfer is the difference between an amateur and a pro. eHarmony is very skilled at finding someone compatible. A person by themselves, is not nearly so much so.

Those who join PoF do so for a number of reasons.
1. It has a vast member base. (A problem that has killed many dating sites in the past is because they had too few members)
2. PoF has a Chat feature. (I think this is an essential service for a dating site and curiously, eHarmony doesn't have it)
3. PoF has a vast forum with endless subject matters. (This makes PoF like a social networking site when combined with chat and profiles)
4. PoF gives people a way to adapt their search for "The One" with a wide variety of dating styles (i.e. Activity Partner, Email/chat, Friends, Long Term relationship, Dating, etc)
5. PoF does ALL these things for FREE!!

These features make PoF unique on the Dating scene and attracts people in droves. By using advertising all over the place in PoF, it makes it a place advertisers want to show PoF members what they have to offer.

The problem for PoF is that advertising revenue has probably taken a big hit (there's a recession on in case you haven't noticed - It's the reason big newspapers are going under.) By introducing an option to pay, it could very well change the dynamics of this site and that is a danger to everything PoF has achieved, but, at the same time, in these difficult economic times, it also gives the owner of PoF another revenue stream. So, when all this is considered, I think his decision will enable him to continue to offer a "One of A Kind" dating and social networking site (and more) rolled into one, is a good idea!!!

I, for one, support the efforts of PoF to continue to exist and thrive.
 VainH
Joined: 3/7/2006
Msg: 71
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Are we a tad spoiled by POF and a bit ungrateful for its services?
Posted: 3/11/2009 12:19:03 PM
To all that think that the free stars only went to women, you're wrong. Now, I have no doubt that more went to women than to men, but that just makes sense strategically as the men are more likely to buy them anyway. Women don't tend to need help attracting attention, men will chase just about anything after all, so the free badges to women can be seen as an advertising expense.
 Jaddo38
Joined: 3/9/2009
Msg: 72
Are we a tad spoiled by POF and a bit ungrateful for its services?
Posted: 3/11/2009 12:23:30 PM
Maybe people here are a tad spoiled. I'm not really sure yet since I'm new. I recently stepped back into online dating and I tried another site that is Free also, and it kept it's promise. Thing is, it's a brand new site so it doesn't have any where near the members yet. But what confused me is that site has a lot more options to get to know people and to see who is who. It must might give plenty of fish a run for their money if it can get some members.

The strange thing about this is, I hear people saying this site makes $10m a year, and it offers the forums and IM for free. The other site (I don't think I'm allowed to name it) offers members a lot more stuff. It's IM has video on it that works pretty good, forums like this site has just not as busy, chat rooms that this site doesn't have and they have video in them also, flowers that are free (I saw this site tried charging for them), music videos you can put on your profile and tons of other stuff. It even has an e-mail filter just like plentyoffish has to block people before they can annoy you.

What is so strange, is if a little site just starting out can do all of this stuff when it's obviously not making money yet and be free then why does plentyoffish feel they have to start charging for a lot less stuff. I know plentyoffish has a gazillion more members but it also makes a lot more money and according to you guys it doesn't have any paid employees. Maybe this is just greed on the part of the site owner.
 markus
Joined: 3/27/2001
Msg: 73
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Are we a tad spoiled by POF and a bit ungrateful for its services?
Posted: 3/11/2009 1:51:05 PM
I have no interest in charging users for extra features, I want to only charge for things that show intent. Users who are dead set on showing they are serious will pay for that upgrade.

1. Talk is cheap, everyone says they are serious but how many actually are?

2. Everyone talks about how they are going to do this or that, but very few people follow through on what they say.

The site is free and it will stay free...
 Silver$Surfer
Joined: 10/28/2008
Msg: 74
Are we a tad spoiled by POF and a bit ungrateful for its services?
Posted: 3/11/2009 2:02:45 PM
Its becoming clear few have paid Markus. So how should I decide if I'm talking to a "Serious Member" who is "showing intent" by the purchase. and the "Serious Member" who had not Shown intent and recieved the tag and status "FREE".

Does this not delute my ability to percieve who is Serious ???? Does this not also defeat what your trying to accomplish for the members, ie Achieve Serious dates and interest with this option.
AM
 FUNGIRLWANTED
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 75
Are we a tad spoiled by POF and a bit ungrateful for its services?
Posted: 3/11/2009 2:14:55 PM
In a perfect world Markus every person on this site would be serious, and if they followed through on paying for a upgrade so that every person had it, then........ the site actually would not be a free site as every person would have actually paid.

You yourself said the other day on the initial post that was taken down, that you wanted only 10% of the people to be gold badge members as to show they were unique and special. I don't take offense to the fact you might think many people are not serious, you don't know us as people only as faceless entity profiles and stats. If you did know me or many other friends I have on here you would know we are as serious if not more than you would ever think. Most of us joined the site because it was not only free but also unique with the forums and it did have a large membership. Just because I elect not to upgrade does not make me any less serious about meeting someone special than anyone that does upgrade. Here is hoping that when people do search or browse profiles they open their minds and eyes to everyones profiles and not just the gold members. Remember their does exist such a thing as fools gold as well.
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