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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > No kids,never married, what kinda midlife crisis they go through?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 April is here
Joined: 4/4/2009
Msg: 26
No kids,never married, what kinda midlife crisis they go through?Page 2 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
what they call mid-life crises is usually a crisis of meaning. Everybody can go through it.
 Brownlady1953
Joined: 12/12/2008
Msg: 27
No kids,never married, what kinda midlife crisis they go through?
Posted: 4/25/2009 12:59:47 PM
NotNative, you live in a small town in Western PA....no wonder you're miserable there and bored......

As a native Pennsylvanian, I have to say that there are less than 10 cities/towns in this state that I would want to live in...........

And it's hard to find a suitable companion when you "have your act together."

"In the land of the blind, the one-eyed woman is in grave danger...."
 crazy4mars
Joined: 2/9/2009
Msg: 28
No kids,never married, what kinda midlife crisis they go through?
Posted: 4/26/2009 2:29:48 AM
I need to revisit the thread "what was I thinking" and post this...
When I tried to get pregnant at the age of 54! Geesh....I'm glad I snapped out of that!
 GSXKing
Joined: 4/30/2008
Msg: 29
No kids,never married, what kinda midlife crisis they go through?
Posted: 4/26/2009 2:51:03 AM
No midlife crisis for those of us who decide early in life not to get married and have kids. It was a conscious decision on my behalf, around early 20's. I never felt paternal and no desire to procreate.

I have partied all my life, loved and lost many times. Probably helps that I have been busy with my "motorcycling mistess'" during 30 years of riding. It is the one constant in my life anyway.

I think the term "midlife crisis" was developed for those people who all of a sudden relaised they were missing out on some great stuff and cracked and thought to hell with everyone else I need to be happy again.

Just my 2 cents worth,
ciao,


GSXKing
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 30
No kids,never married, what kinda midlife crisis they go through?
Posted: 8/10/2010 10:12:26 PM
convertible ?
Boat?
RV?
A rabbit farm in Montana ?
A cabin in the woods off the grid ?
A motorcycle trip around the world ?
Eating your way through the italian boot ?

All good responses
Worst answer for a midlife crisis?.... getting married, 'settling' 'down, having kids, and working until retirement.
 snipehunter77
Joined: 6/25/2010
Msg: 31
No kids,never married, what kinda midlife crisis they go through?
Posted: 8/11/2010 7:13:47 AM
48, never married, no kids, two nice motorcycles, into extreme sports, I have spent my life seeking and finding adventure and new experience. Ok, I gotta admit that I'm more than a little bored with trying to show myself a fun time. It would be much more fulfilling to teach a kid how to fish or scuba dive or take a kid to Disneyland and see it through their eyes

I guess my crisis is that every now and then I'm having dinner with a happy family and the kids are cool and I go home and think....'Dang, I forgot to meet miss Right and have some cool kids'. And I feel a little awful and more alone.

But I just never met miss Right. Maybe a single mom is the solution. Will just see what fate brings.
 karma1160
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 32
No kids,never married, what kinda midlife crisis they go through?
Posted: 8/11/2010 9:17:50 AM
I agree with bicoastal49, it doesn't matter if you have been married, had kids or never bought a house.
A person still feels like there life has changed, in the respect that they can not ignore the fact that they are getting closer to death and that they are not 20 anymore.
ON my 50th birthday this year it hit me like a ton of bricks, my freind planned this suprise party for me. In truth all I wanted to do was let it quietly pass.
What's so strange about that is that I really do not fear death.
I have had moments of extreme joy in my life, my kids are all safe and doing well, and I have visited many places I loved.
I do have a bucket list but, if I ran out of time tommorrow my life wouldn't have been wasted.
So where does this come from, in my case I think it is partly just knowing that my younger days are over.
Part of me is just so not ready for the rocking chair.
 NiceandEdgy
Joined: 7/13/2010
Msg: 33
No kids,never married, what kinda midlife crisis they go through?
Posted: 8/11/2010 2:12:23 PM
I am in the middle of my mid-life crisis... and I can't even afford to buy a Porsche! So I am off to Toys-R-Us to get the only Porsche that I can afford... a Hotwheel!

But at least I am not bitter...
 Molly Maude
Joined: 9/11/2008
Msg: 34
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No kids,never married, what kinda midlife crisis they go through?
Posted: 8/14/2010 9:00:26 PM
I've been reading this thread ... I was going to comment that "no kids, never married" folks probably go or don't go through the same type of midlife crisis anyone with kids who did marry ... go through ... or don't go through ...

but then, I re-read the part about, "... I hear a lot of stories on how only married men/ women go through midlife crisis."

hmmm ... thinking about that line ... I've never heard that before ... that idea that midlife crises are limited to the married with children!

the folks I've known who have appeared to be going through some sort of "midlife crisis" ... have crossed all sorts of sterotypical categories ... married, not married, children, no children, adult children, grandchildren!!

a "midlife crisis" appears to be a concept someone applies to someone else who has unexpectedly decided to change their life situation ... the person deemed "in crisis" has reached a point where they've evaluated what's gone before ... and analyzing what's coming ahead ... and they want a change! (seems reasonable to me) ... so they MAKE the change! (again, sounds like a reasonable thing to do) ...

I knew a man who had a relatively high level government job, on his way up, making pretty good money ... hit about 38 years of age possibly ... quit his job, became a surfer who also "played" the stock market ... his life = his choice! he happened to be single so no one else was especially impacted ... I very frequently wonder how his life is turning out ... I suspect he turned about 58 and moved to possibly Thailand where he's training elephants ... I really admire the guy!

I'm FAR TOO stodgy and happy being comfortable to go through a life-changing crisis! guess that's why I never had one ... altho I've lived through two divorces ... do those count as a "crisis?" probably!

hey! maybe I admire ME!
 AintNoDeal
Joined: 2/3/2010
Msg: 35
No kids,never married, what kinda midlife crisis they go through?
Posted: 8/14/2010 11:19:46 PM
The "crisis" only seems to apply to the people who don't like the change, i.e. wives, husbands, family and friends who want to keep the person "in crisis" just as they always were = UNDER CONTROL.


 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 36
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No kids,never married, what kinda midlife crisis they go through?
Posted: 8/16/2010 8:07:31 AM
Well...I don't think I know anyone in that position actually. I have one friend, mid-50s, she was married twice but couldn't have kids...another late 30's who is getting desperate about finding a guy and starting in on the kids.

For myself - I had a crisis when I turned 25, yes I know, sounds crazy. But that quater century mark bugged me, and I was miserable for a while, with everything in my life.

I would imagine anyone could start thinking about the things they didn't do, when they realize they are past the halfway mark, and go a little nuts.
 452
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 37
No kids,never married, what kinda midlife crisis they go through?
Posted: 8/16/2010 6:54:49 PM
I had the chance for marriage and children taken away from me just out of lifes many cruel blows that was never foreseen or expected.It's a bitter pill to swallow and accept,but I had no choice.

I don't know if I will go through a midlife crisis,but all I can hope for at this point is to maintain and to try my hardest not to let my situation get worse.I do have hope for things getting better,but that hope is hard to hang onto the more life goes on and the more life hands you crap.
 eastwood969
Joined: 12/21/2009
Msg: 38
No kids,never married, what kinda midlife crisis they go through?
Posted: 8/16/2010 8:22:53 PM
It's not a midlife crisis, it's the half way point to the truth. If I thought god was just stupid he would have started us all as old people and as we become wiser each year we also become younger and healthier until we reach 18, then everything would stop and we would be stuck there for eternity. But the truth is since he's not stupid, there has to be something better in the after life and we have to suffer now to have more appreciation for it when it comes. So be happy that you are half way there.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 39
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No kids,never married, what kinda midlife crisis they go through?
Posted: 8/16/2010 8:34:33 PM
Hum....................never had a personal friend who went through a midlife crisis. I don't have female friends who experience huge problems with menopause.

Luck, maybe. Actually, I think it is more about letting people know they only get to be part of my life if they aren't drama Kings or Queens.
 Molly Maude
Joined: 9/11/2008
Msg: 40
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No kids,never married, what kinda midlife crisis they go through?
Posted: 8/24/2010 7:25:24 PM
I think ThNewDeal hit it RIGHT on the head ... it's not the person who's changing who's having a "midlife crisis" ...

the ones having the "crisis" are the ones who don't WANT the changing person to change! VERY FUNNY! and true, ThNewDeal ... very true ...
 *army mom*
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 41
No kids,never married, what kinda midlife crisis they go through?
Posted: 8/25/2010 10:48:21 AM
I only know one guy who has never married and has no children. When he turned 55 he all of a sudden HAD to get married and wanted to have children. He tried to attract younger women to produce children. Epic fail on that. He did marry someone he barely knew -- just so he could accomplish the goal of marrying. That lasted about 6 months.

Last I heard he went out and bought a new Harley --- crisis over ...
 DoubleParked
Joined: 10/22/2008
Msg: 42
No kids,never married, what kinda midlife crisis they go through?
Posted: 8/25/2010 11:31:22 AM
I think everyone, when they get to a certain age,(whatever that may be) stops, looks around and wonders, "Where did the time go?" And gets a sense of the 'clock ticking' and all those fun adventurous things we were going to do haven't been done and a vague sense of panic sometimes kicks in. Doesn't matter if one has been married or not, had kids or not, or ever owned a minivan. Happens to ALL of us.
 Dancing_4_You
Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 43
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No kids,never married, what kinda midlife crisis they go through?
Posted: 8/25/2010 5:41:07 PM
how about "developmental stages" instead of crises? i am told that some wheres around mid 40's the extrovert goes inward and the introvert starts to explore. some of us chose some stages before others depending upon our personalities and what life reveals for us.

being a career woman most of my life and with a full social calendar as part of that job, i had children at 50 (choosing to adopt versus give birth since i was age 5!). after a serious disability (lymes) and divorce, i started dating more than ever before in my late 50's. now figuring out how to organize/write that book! hopefully finding and focusing on that one relationship where passion and love reign supreme.

my son called me just before age 60, sobbing that i was about to die. i told him to "chill", i was dating not dying :) its all about choices and dealing with the consequences as well as what might befell us. it's not about excuses. but, that has been my premise ever since i can remember.
 DrummingNut
Joined: 4/26/2010
Msg: 44
No kids,never married, what kinda midlife crisis they go through?
Posted: 8/28/2010 4:18:36 PM
Doesn't matter if they've had kids or had marriage or had pickled pigs feet for breakfast every day or any other thing.
A midlife crisis just means someone gets hit with the thought/feeling that ______ (fill in the blank) was something they never got to be/do and time is on the downside so heck with it, now I want to give it a try to be/do _______.
Some act on it, in varying degrees.
Some quelch the urges.
Could be a big "crisis", (so to speak).
Could be just a little bitty thing.
 thereandbackfla
Joined: 8/26/2010
Msg: 45
No kids,never married, what kinda midlife crisis they go through?
Posted: 9/1/2010 7:42:11 PM
Having trouble deciding on which motorcycle to ride.....

 thereandbackfla
Joined: 8/26/2010
Msg: 46
No kids,never married, what kinda midlife crisis they go through?
Posted: 9/1/2010 7:44:28 PM
or which snare drum to play.........
 thereandbackfla
Joined: 8/26/2010
Msg: 47
No kids,never married, what kinda midlife crisis they go through?
Posted: 9/1/2010 7:45:52 PM
wishing I found guitar players that didn't have head ,alcohol,drug. wife ,or $$$
problems........
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 48
No kids,never married, what kinda midlife crisis they go through?
Posted: 9/1/2010 8:21:58 PM

If their single never married, never had kids, they don't really have a mini van to trade in for a motorcycle in the first place. what do these people go through? how does it feel? what are their symptoms?


Yeah no minivan no alimony, no child support, no education to pay for the kids, no wondering if the kids are every going to leave. I guess my mid life crises is a little different than the other folks - this closest thing I have had is the recent stock market crash which has made me think I may have to work a few more years than planned. I do however think about the future and who will be around to visit me when i'm old but then there are no guarantees that your kids will visit you anyway and I long ago realized that the only person I could count on to take care of me was me.
 jezebellpgh
Joined: 2/3/2010
Msg: 49
No kids,never married, what kinda midlife crisis they go through?
Posted: 9/2/2010 5:25:59 PM
Believe it or not some females out there never craved to be "mommy" to any human.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 50
No kids,never married, what kinda midlife crisis they go through?
Posted: 9/2/2010 9:19:46 PM
It's probably the same midlife crisis. When I was getting close to 40, I went from wondering if I was ever going to get married to wondering why I would ever want to get married. The only difference between me and a married guy was that I was happy that I had never gotten married.
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > No kids,never married, what kinda midlife crisis they go through?