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 NESunshine
Joined: 7/11/2008
Msg: 145
Strip clubs and relationshipsPage 6 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)

Crap! I've been caught doing this. An ex once told me " I don't care if you look but can you try to keep your jaw from hitting the table when I'm around?" Whoopsie. My bad.


Haha DJ! Something like that has happened to me too!


On the other hand, I have actually looked at hot women with guys I dated. I get that other women might be attractive to him, yet he'd still want to be with me. So I just don't find any of that a threat. We both should be able to appreciate beauty from afar....no harm in it.


Hot people, male or female, warrant extra eye candy regardless of whether we'd sex them or not. They're just beautiful. I love to appreciate beautiful people, surroundings and things. It's natural. Though, I can't help but appreciate the males ones a lot more!


I can be into my guy 110% and still find other men attractive and appreciate the "male form" if you will. The two aren't related.

Exactly. Same here. Just because I'm enjoying what's walking past me or what have you doesn't mean I don't enjoy the person I'm with.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 147
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History
Strip clubs and relationships
Posted: 3/12/2009 10:47:08 AM
^^^^^^^
Me thinks he's talking more about the guys on pervert row who aren't there for entertainment so much as to be the slathering neanderthal types. They fall into the same category as guys online who would use the opening line of "wanna fvck?"

As for spending (blowing) money on this form of entertainment, anyone spending copious quantities on any form of entertainment that they can't afford has other issues to deal with. To me, it would be no different than having to spend money on seasons tickets to football (or whatever) games when you can't afford to pay the mortgage. Stupid is stupid whatever way you look at it.
 hamango
Joined: 3/8/2009
Msg: 149
Strip clubs and relationships
Posted: 3/12/2009 10:51:36 AM
There is some of that egotism at strip clubs, but there is also good-natured, harmless fun based on the magic of sexual arousal being a fine form of entertainment. I suppose if a woman was trying to justify gyrating naked for dollar bills she may well prefer to disdain her customers, and thereby defend her self-esteem. It beats feeling degraded. I think it's a shame that anyone would work at something where they disliked their customers, be it stripping or whatever else. You can tell the haters from the friendly ones. The idea is to have fun. Like anything else it can have an ugly side, whether it is because the man is frustrated or the woman resents her job. Then for a couple, how they see it can range from jealousy to indifference to sharing a pastime. But only I know the real truth that ought to apply to everyone. And I'm not telling.
 mandakay
Joined: 3/4/2009
Msg: 150
Strip clubs and relationships
Posted: 3/12/2009 10:59:00 AM
I don't have a problem with my guy going to a strip club every now and then. If it's several days a week or every day, and he's now broke and can't pay his bills, then there's a problem. If he actually gets 'lucky' with a stripper, there that's a problem too.
 god_of_rock
Joined: 1/17/2009
Msg: 151
Strip clubs and relationships
Posted: 3/12/2009 10:59:37 AM
^^

well if guys want to feel 'empowered' by doing that..

let's estimate the percentage of guys that go to a strip club, then go home and jack off fantasizing about the strippers..I'd say the percentage is fairly high, of the ones that don't go home and fukk their women with their eyes shut, dreaming of a stripper..LMAO.

there are plenty of people at all kinds of jobs that don't always 'love' their customers..
 Reesebuttercupbabe
Joined: 1/14/2009
Msg: 153
Strip clubs and relationships
Posted: 3/12/2009 11:05:43 AM
I would not date or be in any relationship with a man who felt he needed to do that when I am here for those needs.

You are normal and stay true to your feelings.
 *Gypsy*
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 154
Strip clubs and relationships
Posted: 3/12/2009 11:06:05 AM
MikeM1968, you wrote........"Again (as I posted in my last response) I don't b_cth when women want to go window shopping at the mall do I? It's the same exact kind of thing. You like to look at clothes, I like to look at women. What's the problem?"

Let's be honest, that's a pretty lame comparison and no it's not "the exact kind of thing"
I'm not salivating and getting a raging hard-on while looking at clothes!!

Gypsy
 Frau Blücher
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 155
Strip clubs and relationships
Posted: 3/12/2009 11:44:58 AM
IMO, it is one thing to privately admire or fantasize about a beautiful body or physique; it is another to actively lust and drool over it. Perhaps it is the turning of those carnal thoughts for another into “action” that some women find offensive. Just sayin’.
 LonestarStar
Joined: 12/14/2008
Msg: 156
Strip clubs and relationships
Posted: 3/12/2009 11:58:15 AM
IMO, it is one thing to privately admire or fantasize about a beautiful body or physique; it is another to actively lust and drool over it. Perhaps it is the turning of those carnal thoughts for another into “action” that some women find offensive. Just sayin’.


I think that's sort of the way I feel about it. I'm very aware that my SO is going to admire other women and fantasize, but that's a bit different than being so overcome with the urges that he needs to actually go seek out other women to ogle.
And that's more than likely why it didn't bother me when my ex went a few times for bachelor parties; it was passing entertainment and more of a social gathering than some sort of desire he actively needed filled.


it's quite amusing to me to see most of the guys there that are like little lap-dogs following the strippers around like a bull with a ring in it's nose..


I know two guys (both married) that go to a strip club a few times a week for lunch. Sometimes together, sometimes alone. It's funny...they actually believe the strippers are interested in them. They give them free tattoos and invite them to parties they throw (they've never showed up *shocker*), and just live in this alternate reality. There were men at Hooters who were the exact same way...they were absolutely delusional. I prefer men who are a bit more intelligent than that.


I'm not salivating and getting a raging hard-on while looking at clothes!!

You obviously haven't shopped with me! But, you're right. I can't intimately shop my boyfriend. I have to go elsewhere to buy things, and shopping isn't an intimate activity between two people (unless you count your credit card as a *person.* Mine is named Ricardo.)
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 157
Strip clubs and relationships
Posted: 3/12/2009 12:03:04 PM

Question for those who have kids.........where do you tell your kids you are going when they ask?

LMAO ~ the last time I checked, I was the parent of my child. I don't need to tell him where I go or what I do. Good grief ~ throwing in the child-card. Maybe I should call Granny the next time I go with friends.

~OP~ Your gorgeous. Stop defending yourself. There will always be the POF Moral Police and they'll never be open minded enough to even politely add: In My Opinion.

~OT~ If it's offensive to you, tighten the leash around his neck, add a shackle and pray he doesn't get tired of the constraints. If he doesn't WANT to view other women, fine. If he does ~ no little woman at home is gonna stop that, he'll just lie like a rug and then you've got more problems than him wanting a visual fix. JMO
 god_of_rock
Joined: 1/17/2009
Msg: 158
Strip clubs and relationships
Posted: 3/12/2009 12:05:22 PM
^^



If he does ~ no little woman at home is gonna stop that, he'll just lie like a rug and then you've got more problems than him wanting a visual fix.



then, if it's important enough to her, she can say: "next" or find a guy not hooked on those activities?

that sounds like if he wants to fukk other women, no little woman is going to stop that, either?

believe it or not, there ARE a few of us.. ;)

[edit] : OK verygreeneyez, get your point, sorry.
 LonestarStar
Joined: 12/14/2008
Msg: 159
Strip clubs and relationships
Posted: 3/12/2009 12:10:36 PM
f he does ~ no little woman at home is gonna stop that, he'll just lie like a rug and then you've got more problems than him wanting a visual fix. JMO

I'm sorry, but I think that's a little overly cynical. There are men who are ACTUALLY willing to put those carnal matters aside out of respect for their significant others wishes. There are plenty of men that want to satisfy their desire for variety by having sex with other women, but won't because they value their relationship . If I don't have a man who values my feelings as much as I value his, he needs to get on down the road anyway.
 The rock man
Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 160
Strip clubs and relationships
Posted: 3/12/2009 12:11:01 PM
This thread has really helped me to realize what great choices I made about the women I chose to date.

I obvously haven't dated over reactive, jealous untrusting, insecure, morally superior, whiny nut cases with uneducated views about silly things.

There are so many posts that make it very clear the poster has no clue what so ever about many such clubs. They are running off of overly dramatic gossip news reports and stories from friends and freaks!

I can see more flesh and trampish behavior at most beach's during the summer. Hell at a local bar on a good Sat night for that matter.
How about the couples vacation to Mardigra? Breasts for beads.
That Victoria secret catalog women have.
Than you have some of the profile "lay-outs" right here on this site!

How about lunch at Hooters? Push up bra titties thrown up on the table, shorts 2 sizes to small showing all there is to see...
Is there that big of a difference between chicken wings and a pole?

People really need to stop making their own personal issues other peoples problems.
Keeping him home isn't going to make you feel any better about yourself!
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 162
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History
Strip clubs and relationships
Posted: 3/12/2009 12:15:50 PM
^^^
Exactly the point. If a woman doesn't like that a man she is in a relationship with doesn't care whether or not she's uncomfortable in the extreme to his attending (and he's likely not sensitive to any of her other feelings), she can say next. Alternatively, if a man finds that the woman he's in a relationship is too controlling for his liking on this and all kinds of other issues, time to say next. You've got to know who you're dealing with and what you will accept or reject on this and any other issues in a relationship. As always in all of these forums, communicate from the get go and learn about your partner to be instead of just jumping in with both eyes closed and both ears shut and wondering what went wrong over time. It's all about respect and communication...go figure!
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 164
Strip clubs and relationships
Posted: 3/12/2009 12:21:30 PM
I clearly stated:


If it's offensive to you, tighten the leash around his neck, add a shackle and pray he doesn't get tired of the constraints. If he doesn't WANT to view other women, fine. If he does ~ no little woman at home is gonna stop that, he'll just lie like a rug and then you've got more problems than him wanting a visual fix. JMO

Both sides were represented there ~ let's quote the entire post if wanting to rebuttal. Cynical? Not at all. I simply see NO reason to push my ideals on anyone, including my SO/BF/Spouse. If I'm not happy with his actions ~ is that my problem or his? Don't we take people as they are? If you aren't happy with someone wishing to view porn, go to strip clubs, check out men/women on the street/in the grocery store/at work/while in deep sleep ~ maybe it's best to have that discussion and set the rules/boundaries LONG before it's a relationship. No???????? JMO
 LonestarStar
Joined: 12/14/2008
Msg: 165
Strip clubs and relationships
Posted: 3/12/2009 12:23:43 PM
^^^^^
Alright, I see what you're saying. It read as if you were saying he didn't want to go to a strip club to begin with so there was no issue, not that he wanted to, but wouldn't. If that makes any sense.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 166
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History
Strip clubs and relationships
Posted: 3/12/2009 12:42:17 PM
You do like to inflame, don't you girlinanightie?? Has it ever occurred to you that there really are women out there who don't mind at all that their men occasionally go to a club with the guys for no other reason than they really don't care?...it's not an issue?...they view sexuality differently than someone else (you)? It doesn't make them meek - it makes them tolerant and with no hidden agendas. Keep in mind we're talking about something that isn't a daily, weekly and even monthly outing (if it was, that would be a problem for various reasons). Good for you that you tell your man what you will and won't tolerate - you're at least communicating. That's your prerogative to have your limits of what you do and don't approve of. It's interesting to note, however, your terms to describe anyone who doesn't go along with your own beliefs as pathetic assed idiots, etc. etc. Is anyone calling you a pathetic assed idiot for having your personal standards? Try communicating without being so caustic. Your point of view will likely be given more credence and understanding. I totally understand your point of view...it's yours. It's just not mine and some others.
 MikeM1968
Joined: 11/3/2007
Msg: 167
Strip clubs and relationships
Posted: 3/12/2009 12:53:45 PM

Then for a couple, how they see it can range from jealousy to indifference to sharing a pastime. But only I know the real truth that ought to apply to everyone. And I'm not telling.


Ahh - sweeet!!! I think I know too. I should say that would definitely add to the excitement at the end of the evening. Before I stopped going to such places it was beginning to become more and more common-place for couples to go together. I definitely *can* understand how it would work out. Nothing like making your S.O. so jealous watching YOU watching other women perform and tipping them and so on that she feels a true need and overwhelmingly un-controllable to *prove* she's the best thing you've got at the end of the evening. Am I close? Awwwww yeeeaaaahhhhh!!!


Let's be honest, that's a pretty lame comparison and no it's not "the exact kind of thing"
I'm not salivating and getting a raging hard-on while looking at clothes!!


Okay let's see how long you last with a revolving credit account! LOL I've actually heard many women claim that shopping is as euphoric and exciting as sex is for us men. So there's not much difference at the core of things really. I'm sure the one post I read on POF about a woman actually having an orgasm from shopping was a stretch of the truth......right? Hmmmmm - sometimes I truly wonder.



Mike
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 168
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History
Strip clubs and relationships
Posted: 3/12/2009 12:56:06 PM
Suggesting the possibility that someone may feel insecure, as an opinion, is a far cry from derogatory terms. I agree, others have used the words prude and control freak. A lot of times they have also viewed previous posts from posters and have viewed profiles and they draw those conclusions, right or wrong. Your anger and continued use of derogatory terms is what detracts from your otherwise logical sentiments about what you as an individual believe in - and the same applies for anyone else who debates issues in the same manner. And that, of course, is just my humble opinion.
 mandakay
Joined: 3/4/2009
Msg: 169
Strip clubs and relationships
Posted: 3/12/2009 1:06:27 PM
No porn in the house??? I usually have more porn than the guys I'm with!!!
 *Gypsy*
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 170
Strip clubs and relationships
Posted: 3/12/2009 1:10:26 PM
Oh goody!! I want to get me one of those credit cards, where do I sign up?!!!
 Arabianangel
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 171
Strip clubs and relationships
Posted: 3/12/2009 1:19:10 PM
OP...I personally wouldn't accept it. Want a solution? Tell him you're thinking of taking a job there part time...then watch he's reaction...if he freaks out you will have your answer.
 MikeM1968
Joined: 11/3/2007
Msg: 172
Strip clubs and relationships
Posted: 3/12/2009 1:25:55 PM
Just a slight twist on message #185 here:

I, do not need to put constraints on any woman in my life,.. I tell her I won't tolerate wreckless and habitual spending .. if we were living together. She doesn't have a collar round her neck, she has free will, she can go and do what she likes, but If she decides to spend all our money, then I will be out of that relationship. I can only do whats right for me. No collars or shackles here.
merely a decision to stay or go, if she doesn't like it.
Its the men who meekly let women go on wild shopping spree's with their (his) money, who lie to themselves that they don't mind that, who even accompany them, that are the truly insecure ones here. they are so terrified of doing anything or saying anything, that might make their woman leave.
As for anti spending men,.. I don't believe its insecurity at all,.. look, I am not stupid, I KNOW that we can't afford nor does she even need all that stuff, I know that the sales people aren't going to jump out from behind the counter and force my woman to spend our money, lol.
I am not worried about her stealing my money,.. if she steals she steals... she's out, simple as that.
I am just not going to stand by and wait for her to spend my money on more merchandise she doesn't need, and come home with bags and bags of more shoes and other crap.
No way. That's pride, that's esteem.. that's standing up for your beliefs,.. that's saying, I will take the consequences of telling you what my boundaries are, you don't like it? then leave.
I'm not scared to lose some pathetic assed b_tch, who thinks it's okay to blatantly spend the mortgage and rent money, then come home to me with bags and bags of the stuff she spent it on,




Mike
 Briannazg2
Joined: 8/28/2007
Msg: 174
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History
Strip clubs and relationships
Posted: 3/12/2009 1:34:50 PM
Its like I said my man must walk around with a bag on his head and woah and behold should he check out a woman who passes by on the street.



I let him know my feelings and that I find it disrespectful and allow him to decide what HE wants to do.


not insecure?? rightttttttttttttttttttt respect?? righttttttttttttttt
Nothing like being married to a puzzzy whipped dog at your mercy


I have no reason to be, I love my ass, tits and I KNOW FULL WELL I SATISFY MY MAN IN THE BEDROOM...
say that 5 times fast with a bag on your head a decade later when gravity hits

Rock Man said it best with :

I obvously haven't dated over reactive, jealous untrusting, insecure, morally superior, whiny nut cases with uneducated views about silly things.


Strip Club, Chippendales, it boils down to a matter of being okay with your partner and their choices and knowing its your bed they are in.... fvck I see this thread being locked....






BUT I find it rather disrespectful that my man would be enjoying a cheap meat market then coming home to me...
men go for a variety of reasons.... but your choice of 'cheap meat market' .... maybe some men go for the pure pleasure of having someone to talk to that he doesn't feel judged by.... maybe they go to count dots in the ceiling tiles than listen to the idle chatter at home?

Do you also feel disrespected if they pulled out a dirty magazine and read it at home too?

Isn't it scientific that men are more visual?
 celts123
Joined: 5/15/2008
Msg: 175
Strip clubs and relationships
Posted: 3/12/2009 1:41:40 PM
I agree with what some people have stated. It depends on how often he goes to the "gentlemen's club". If he went every weekend, then I could understand his wife / gf getting angry with him. But if he only goes once in a while, then that shouldn't be a problem.
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