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 fancynanci
Joined: 8/21/2007
Msg: 40
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Older women are less inhibited?Page 2 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
I have never been inhibited sexually but I'm 54 now and it just keeps getting better and better with age..
 whytwater
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 41
Older women are less inhibited?
Posted: 3/14/2009 3:49:50 PM

We want to be fulfilled just like men and older women DO get more pleasure and satifaciton because of us not having any hangups anymore.

It's all about having no inhibitions, just that simple. :)


Profile says: 42, seeking men 28-44, for long term.
Gotta admire your pluck, Darlin'. Your half-full glass is overflowing!!
 EvilLolli
Joined: 12/7/2008
Msg: 43
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Older women are less inhibited?
Posted: 3/14/2009 6:22:28 PM

Who dumped you for someone younger? :-)



God I love assumptions.
Not all insight and/or opinions on relationships come from who a person dates. Some people learn from observing others around them. This includes parents, friends, and co-workers. If you can learn from the mistakes/experiences of others you might not have to go thru them yourself.

And VeryGreenEyes, plagarize away!
 TheToefactor
Joined: 2/11/2009
Msg: 48
Older women are less inhibited?
Posted: 3/17/2009 12:06:44 PM
The correct term is what is referred to as a"Cougar" don't knock it until you've tried it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bDpLkeaY8xE



^^^^^..........
 dd3va
Joined: 11/18/2008
Msg: 49
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Older women are less inhibited?
Posted: 3/17/2009 2:48:48 PM
Speaking only for myself, I am much less inhibited now and I think for me, there are a few factors at play. When I was in my twenties and early thirties, I had 3 kids and a husband who was in the Navy and often deployed. Sleeping in was better than any orgasm, at the time. From my mid thirties until now, with my sons grown. I see myself once again as a sexual being again. You learn about yourself, not only sexually, but all aspects. I am comfortable with my abilities and know what I like and don't like , and have no problem expressing it. That was very difficult for me when I was younger. I know I don't look like I did 15-20 years ago, don't weight the same, but I also don't think the same. I am confident in myself and confidence is sexy.
 surely im shirley
Joined: 6/14/2008
Msg: 51
Older women are less inhibited?
Posted: 3/20/2009 8:42:36 PM
Older women may be less inhibited but it doesn't necessarily follow that they are easy. Different women, different choices, but we are pretty much all better in the sack than the young ones. Less inhibited. More into enjoyment and a more evolved lack of self consciousness. Previous poster said it quite well based on the comments from her younger male friends. I can verify these statements from my own experience and also those of my 26 year old daughter, my older sons and all of their friends. I wouldn't choose to be any younger than at the very minimum, 35, if I had that option. Too much drama and besides....I like myself better now and yes...I'm much less inhibited.

Again for emphasis:

1. Older women know what they want and have no trouble saying it.
2. Older women don't play games.
3. Older women tend not to be jealous or possessive.
4. Older women tend not to be drama queens.
5. Older women are more open minded about sex and enjoy doing things the younger man never has.
6. Older women carry themselves with a certain sense of class that demands respect.
7. Older women don't need the man's reassurance all the time to feel good about themselves.
8. Older women are more confident in their sexual abilities and don't need to ask how sex was...we know we blow your mind. ;)
9. Older women tend not to check up on their man or ask alot of questions like 'what are you thinking? If he says nothing...he really means nothing. It's not a ploy to make you stress or guess.
10. Older women are more interested in pleasing themselves which younger girls have not learned yet..that a real man gets off by seeing us get off. It's a huge turn on for a guy to see a woman orgasm and fully enjoy every moment she is with him.
 Blondecharmthe3rd
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 53
Older women are less inhibited?
Posted: 3/20/2009 9:39:07 PM
Perhaps there are other issues 190574.

I am NOT the same woman I was in my 20s, men don't push me around and I speak my mind. In and out of the bedroom. The confidence translates in being comfortable with myself, my triggers and my true pleasures... sexual or not.

If its because the big 4-0 is staring me in the face, I say lets party!!!!
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 55
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Older women are less inhibited?
Posted: 3/20/2009 10:27:08 PM
You just refuse to get it.
But that's alright......we refused to get it when we were you're age too!

You have had numerous women tell you they were open minded and uninhibited in their 20's .....
but can now see the difference in themselves in their 40's & 50's.

It is just one of those things you have to experience to understand.

We could have 15 more pages of women telling you there is a difference.....
and there would be 15 more pages of you trying to tell us we're wrong.

We're all beating a dead horse here.......OP will refuse to acknowledge anything but her own truth.
 EvilLolli
Joined: 12/7/2008
Msg: 58
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Older women are less inhibited?
Posted: 3/20/2009 11:57:51 PM
And still I shake my head and chuckle at this thread.
MsMicki I agree it may be beating a dead horse but dang what if you only poke it w/ a stick? Like carriage horses of old this "dead horse" seems to have its blinders on.

Op sorry to say it but you contradict yourself in your own posts.


To demoralize or discredit older women for having less "inhibitions" in the bedroom or anywhere they have been much longer than you is simply insulting to older women... and yourself. I have always been open-minded yet not always as uninhibited.


The first part of this statement doesn't make sense to me. Are you sure you meant "demoralize"? And how is anything I've been saying insulting to myself?


Op you are showing, by your own posts, that YOU have made yourself feel inferior or demoralized by your skills (or lack there of) w/ the opposite gender. You are blaming "older women" for your perceived lack of luck in the dating field. You're saying that because of statements from the male figures around you and their preferences that you feel you unfairly compared to "older women". You have said that you feel society is putting pressure on you to be pysically perfect, beautiful, and sexually perfect. No one other then YOU has put these pressures on yourself.


Once again, folks, what I'm speaking out against is the generalizing. I almost wonder if older women that feel the need to list the myriad ways they think they're better than younger women (like surely) are actually insecure about getting older... Especially since many of the things on surely's list supposedly describing "older women" are also true of myself and my (similarly young) friends.


Again OP, you say you speak out against generalizing, but here and previously you are guilty of the same crime. You are generalizing why an older woman would feel confident, want to date a younger man, or have bothered to respond honestly to your query w/ your own preconceeved, generealized concept of what older women have to offer the dating scene and their motivations.


Again, it may be that most people get more comfortable in the bedroom as they get older, that makes perfect sense. But that doesn't mean that one 20 yr-old isn't capable of being as good as a different 50 yr-old, or less inhibited or whatever... And too, "good" is subjective. If you consider "good" the number of tricks you know, then I see where experience matters. If you consider it confidence and willingness to learn, that can happen at various ages


I agree and disagree w/ various parts of this statement. "Good" is in the eye of the receiver, so I agree on that.

I disagree that the number of "tricks" one knows has to do w/ experience or age(which you are implying w/ your statement here). The sooner you take responsibility for your happiness and pleasure, the sooner you will educate(doesn't have to be all hands on-so to speak) yourself, and the sooner you will have a better dating/sex life.

I agree w/ confidence and willingness to learn/pleasure having nothing to do w/ age. At your age I was in a small town filled w/ divorcees chasing younger men. I never felt the need to put down or compete w/ them. Preferences are preferences.

Maybe when you stop feeling like it is a competition between you and "them" you will have more success in what you seek for a partner? I know I never considered "older women" threatening, more skilled, or a n interference to my date-ability when I was in my 20's. I was confident enough in me and what I had to offer to figure it was a "take it or leave it" thing. If they preferred something else-eh- they weren't right for me.


Ouch! That was long post from me. I think I need a beer after all that poking w/ a stick. Lol
 surely im shirley
Joined: 6/14/2008
Msg: 59
Older women are less inhibited?
Posted: 3/21/2009 11:32:05 AM

Perhaps there are other issues 190574.


Sorry hon...but you're just room mates now and it won't get better.

OP...I agree with the other 'old girls'. You may believe that you are all that you say you are, but you haven't reached that stage in your life where you can look back and realize that perhaps you really didn't know as much as you thought you did. Remember when you were in high school? Your parents and their peers knew nothing. They were from a different world. They didn't know and wouldn't understand. They were 'has beens'. ..still are. We've all been there. We understand. You're no different than any other young person. It's called life experience and growing up. You're not there yet.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 62
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Older women are less inhibited?
Posted: 3/21/2009 2:52:12 PM
But seriously......you should meet my parents......
and everyone else's parents......
before you judge the lot on a few!

as I said before.....no matter how open minded and uninhibitid you and your friends think you are now........it will never make up for the experience you will gain over the next 20 years.......and that combination is what makes MOST "older women" better lovers.

as I said before.......you will never "get it".......till you experience it!
It's like trying to explain how wonderful Godiva chocolate tastes to someone that's only ate Hershey bars.
 EvilLolli
Joined: 12/7/2008
Msg: 63
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Older women are less inhibited?
Posted: 3/21/2009 5:37:02 PM
Now its because of the southern Bible Belt? Sorry OP, you can find people just as conservative and religiously uptight in the north.

And to answer your last question, Yep and Yep. Learned a lot too. Maybe it was the people I knew, maybe it was the way I approached them, most likely it was a combo of both.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 64
Older women are less inhibited?
Posted: 3/21/2009 5:42:50 PM

NO ONE here has the kind of experience that would be capable of disproving that assertion, because we each only lead one life... I think maybe the best person qualified to draw generalities would be a 50 yr-old who'd slept with many men and women both of various ages... but not too many of those around.


OK, I'm 45 and in my adult life, I've slept with women ramging in age from ages 18-40 (ages 27-40 in the last year) with experience ranging from 2 virgins to a few escorts and I've had relationships lasting as long as almost 6 years. To the best I can determine, first, women become less inhibited with age, but a woman who is very inhibited to start with will never be as unihibited as a woman who starts out with few inhibitions. Second, experience is totally irrelevant. The worst sex I've ever had was with an escort and a woman with zero experience can catch on pretty fast if she is uninhibited, reasonably intelligent and discovers she really likes sex.
 JustMary65
Joined: 5/26/2008
Msg: 65
Older women are less inhibited?
Posted: 3/21/2009 7:23:32 PM
To be honest, I don't think it has as much to do with age as it does with sexual experience and confidence. I use to believe sex was some dirty three letter word and a chore-----well, that all changed when I found a good lover and discovered how great an orgasm can be---

I firmly believe the more in tune you are with your body and your partner's body makes a big difference. I am a far more skilled lover at 43 than I was at 23----had me a LOT of practice since then, and I think that makes a big difference. While I do have a thing for young guys----I like any man who can make me feel like a woman---in every sense of that word.

I am far less inhibited sexually now than I was in my twenties because I didn't have as much experience or understanding about the difference between simply having sex versus making love---both can result in an orgasm---but making love is far more intimate----and that can be intimidating for some men and women.

When I thought sex was more of a 'chore' than a pleasurable act---my view of getting naked was skewed and I seemed a bit inhibited----once I got over all of that---va va voom---and when you exude that sexual confidence ( regardless of age) folks notice.

It's not that older women are sexier than younger ones----it's just we might have a bit more sexual prowess----not trying to generalize----but I would have to say, from experience, if you enjoy sex----you tend to make a very attentive and responsive lover----and that is very appealing to any lover at any age.
 EvilLolli
Joined: 12/7/2008
Msg: 69
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Older women are less inhibited?
Posted: 3/21/2009 10:35:45 PM
OP you missed MY point entirely. MY point was to stop blaming the younger men, older women, upbringing, parents, lack of experience, location, religious orientation, etc. for any inferiority, generaliztion, objectification or whatever YOU feel society is pressuring you w/.

I have never said it was all about age or any ONE factor. Re-read all the previous posts instead of picking and choosing a few random statements that seem to support your theory. No one here said all younger women are bad in bed, they have said their experiences from when they were younger compared to when they were older varied a great deal. They have said in time you will see the difference in your experiences from younger to older too.

Oh, and for further clarification:


it's someone who's probably slept with more women than most of the older women posting here...


I haven't slept w/ any women(older or otherwise), so I can't compare notes w/ abelian(no offense abelian). I don't know about the other women that posted here, but I think they would feel the same.
 JustMary65
Joined: 5/26/2008
Msg: 70
Older women are less inhibited?
Posted: 3/22/2009 4:03:40 AM
Op-

Just some food for thought-as is with most 'perceptions' with sex---as we get older SOME of us have had more sexual interludes than our younger counterparts which may give a younger man the idea that an older woman would be LESS inhibited in the bedroom. I know just from speaking to range of women who I'm quite close to that age isn't always the factor in being less or more inhibited, but how a person VIEWS sex/sexuality/gender relations can have a powerful impact on it.

I don't care if someone calls me Mrs Robinson or Mrs Frigid or much else----finding a sexually suitable partner is far more important, but the beauty of being older and more experienced is I know what I like, what pleases me and how to effectively communicate all those things to a lover-whereas-when I was much younger I didn't have that comfort level or experience to do so--thus resulting in some men thinking I was a borderline prude when in fact I'm really a sexual deviant...from time to time.

And as far as sleeping with a woman??? what does that have to do with anything? Having good sex---enjoying it---and being able to share all those good feelings with someone you are comfortable with is key. Your argument, while quite important to you, is the same as saying that younger men suck in bed because it's believed older men know how to please a woman ( OF ANY AGE) far better. Why?? with age and longevity with sexual partners comes some sexpertise??? It's all pretty subjective.

Women of any age either like sex...love sex...or could live without it----there are many factors that might SUGGEST an older woman could be less inhibited in bed---but I'm sure there is a good population of older women who would be considered frigid in bed. If I've learned anything over the past 43 yrs is to worry LESS about what you feel other people THINK and concern yourself more with how you FEEL.

Bottom line----find a person who makes you feel good about you...and in turn (hopefully) you will make them feel good about themselves. Good sex begins in the mind----where it leads from there can make the once inhibited woman uninhibited. Besides---if I believed every post on here was gospel---all those younger men who seek older women for 'sex' don't chase older woman cuz they think they are sexier than younger women---but rather most feel they are an easier catch. ( apparently we move slower, have lower self-esteem and are totally desparate for sex )

Best part about an argument is there are three sides to it----yours---theirs ---and the general populations view. All are equally important to the person--the rest I can take or leave.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 71
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Older women are less inhibited?
Posted: 3/23/2009 10:53:59 AM
Oohlala21: Again, it may be that most people get more comfortable in the bedroom as they get older, that makes perfect sense. But that doesn't mean that one 20 yr-old isn't capable of being as good as a different 50 yr-old, or less inhibited or whatever...


if that 20something yr old has this mentality....

Oohlala21: I don't get turned on by the idea of giving a guy pleasure. Whereas I DO get very turned on by receiving pleasure

it explains alot!
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 72
Older women are less inhibited?
Posted: 3/23/2009 12:32:18 PM


Oohlala21: I don't get turned on by the idea of giving a guy pleasure. Whereas I DO get very turned on by receiving pleasure


it explains alot!


It certainly does. The women (and, I suppose men, but can't say from firsthand experience) who are the most fun are the ones whose curiosity drives them to work at getting their partners worked up and derive satisfaction from succeeding.
 stealth122148
Joined: 8/14/2008
Msg: 74
Older women are less inhibited?
Posted: 3/23/2009 1:47:25 PM
Hold the phone here ladies and gents.

I done an age search on all of you and Whytwater is closest to my age..

He does have some very valid points here but, I have to say that great sex is only as good as your partner.

Now i am 60. Have a boyfriend 7 years younger than me. Hang on to your panties young ladies. I have multiple orgasums and ready to go again in the morning. My partner and i have been together for awhile , not living together, just together for a while now and we know what the other wants. No games, no drama, no demands on the other' It is all good.

Now for the age of 35. Being there i have to say that is when i felt the sexiest in my life.
I really think that is when a woman comes full bloom. Not to say that some does not feel that way in the younger years but for me, 35 wazzzzzzzzz good.



 surely im shirley
Joined: 6/14/2008
Msg: 77
Older women are less inhibited?
Posted: 3/23/2009 3:00:28 PM
From the OP:

So I can't tell you how many young men I know talk about how sexy older women are, because 35 is a woman's sexual peak, blah de blah de blah.


Why don't you listen? The young men you talk to claim that older women are less inhibited. They have learned through experience. Most of us have posted our own experiences and reasons for this. Older women possess more experience and a confidence that is lacking in many younger women....except you. If this bothers you so much, then offer sex to all those young guys and prove to them that you're just as uninhibited as we 'old things', and....you may just gain the experience and self-confidence that will make the boys applaud you and your concerns unnecessary.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 81
Older women are less inhibited?
Posted: 3/23/2009 5:59:32 PM

My one frined had a fantastic time dating an older woman who would do all sorts of things for him in bed, and cleaned up his room for him. Well hell, I'd love to find someone who'd do those things for me! Who wouldn't?

I don't suppose it ever occured to you to take the initiative and really become enthusiastic about your partner, has it? What about simply asking a guy to do those things? If you come across as inhibited, (as in you seem to have little interest in a guy's d!ck and don't really get into ``exploring''), most guys, at least ones with common sense, are not going to be too unconventional. If a woman comes across as being inhibited or timid, I'm going to assume she'd freak if I were too far the other direction. For example, if a woman doesn't seem to want to perform oral sex on me, I'm going to wonder if she is uncomfortable having it done to her, but since she already inhibited by virtue of her aversion to performing oral sex, I'm also not going to ask her. The result will be that the sex will be straight sex and unless I saw some reason to think she'd change, I'm not going to want to deal with her weirdness. There are lots of women who are less weird.

But is a guy liking you for those reasons something to brag about?

It beats bragging about guys who don't want to sleep with you because you're no fun in the sack.

Is it just because women are now being held to higher standards of sexual performance?

Perhaps it's because guys would like more input from women. Quite honestly, it gets really old trying to figure out how mental telepathy works.

Is it because young men feel more comfortable making generalizations about women than young women do making generalizations about men?

My guess is that it's because younger men have just discovered sex, want to get laid and there are older women willing to accomodate them without all of the bullshit in order to have a younger guy. I typically date younger women, (e.g., at 33, I had a 19 year old girlfriend I lived with), but there's a point where the bullshit isn't worth it (and she was in that category.)

Because women are better at recognizing men's individuality than vice versa?

I can't address that issue, since I really don't make the generalizations to which you refer, although the younger a woman, is the more she seems to be interested in playing the part of a tease than actually going through with anything. I find that sort of thing very annoying and I'm sure most guys do. Perhaps your friends don't get that from older women who are after them precisely because they want to follow through and not waste time playing games.
 surely im shirley
Joined: 6/14/2008
Msg: 82
Older women are less inhibited?
Posted: 3/24/2009 4:31:27 AM

It's that I resent the objectification and generalizations about women: young women, older women, by women and by men alike.


The same generalizations exist for men. Its' the way of the world. Make up your own mind and don't worry about the others.
 grizzelda
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 83
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Older women are less inhibited?
Posted: 3/24/2009 7:25:56 AM

It's not like my friends saying this stuff have slept with lots of older women, or done some sort of socioologically valid study. No, they've slept with 1 or 2, and are repeating things they've heard from their peers or from media.

Anyhow, from what I know of these boys they often are not all that considerate of younger women's feelings, which is why the whole mentality bothers me.

My one frined had a fantastic time dating an older woman who would do all sorts of things for him in bed, and cleaned up his room for him. Well hell, I'd love to find someone who'd do those things for me! Who wouldn't? But is a guy liking you for those reasons something to brag about?

It's the power imbalance that bothers me. It's not that I resent older women. It's that I resent the objectification and generalizations about women: young women, older women, by women and by men alike.

I think these days the meme that older women are better in bed is even more common than the idea of older men being better in bed. Why? Doesn't that strike anyone as odd? Is it just because women are now being held to higher standards of sexual performance? Is it because young men feel more comfortable making generalizations about women than young women do making generalizations about men? Because women are better at recognizing men's individuality than vice versa?


These are boys/men that are more interested in taking from this type of set up/relationship than they are in engaging in an actual loving, giving relationship. That is why they want to go after SOME older women. So to them this is what they hold up as the ideal for them. This isnt about older women, its more about SOME young men that are looking to be in a relationship that is more geared towards what they get out of it vs. what they contribute to it.
 Whatyouc
Joined: 2/2/2008
Msg: 85
Older women are less inhibited?
Posted: 3/24/2009 3:29:24 PM
I'm sure it's at least partially biological, but there's more to it than that. As women get older they begin to own their sexuality. They stop buying into the old double standard that they grew up with. Namely that men who had lot's of sex were hero's and women who had lot's of sex were sluts.
We all grow and learn and hopefully improve with age and life experience.
Young guys in general (not all I'm sure) tend to be selfish lovers, while some of us as we age learn that patience, anticipation, seduction, and foreplay make sex a much more rewarding experience not only for women, but for us as well.
Personally, I prefer older women (who take care of themselves) to younger women. Less drama, and more appreciation for what I have to offer.
So if you 20 somethings are lucky enough to catch a cougar, slow down and pay attention. She has a lot to teach you about being a man.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 86
Older women are less inhibited?
Posted: 3/24/2009 4:34:06 PM

Well that's silly of you. He can do just about whatever he wants to me, and partners haven't seemed that hesitant about it.

Well, if a woman seems inhibited, I'm not going to assume she swallows, wants a facial or is dying to get something shoved up her rear end, especially since I don't have a preference either way on those last two items. I also don't want to say, ``mind if I do a little muff diving,'' or ``do you like fingers up your butt?'' If a woman's inhibited, then I have to be a good guesser to avoid doing or saying something that's going to be a turn off. Either she needs to be a little more physical and take some iniative or I'm going to be a bit conservative. Woman are not that great at communicating sexual preferences without having it dragged out of them and I'm not going to assume too much and kill the mood by getting it wrong. To the best I can tell, I usually do ok in not going past someone's comfort zone.

Plus this makes it sound like you always wait for her to go down on you first.

Since lots of women haven't figured out that they can do something with their hands while I'm doing something with my hands, if she's into oral sex, she usually moves in some way to indicate she's heading south. She doesn't have to start blowing me before I figure out where she's going. Needless to say, if she's sort of inhibited, I may still beat her to the punch or end up doing at the same time, she might start first or I might decide to do something inbetween. If she leaves it up to me, then she ends up with whatever I decide, which is whatever seems to be a good idea at the moment.


I'm rather just saying that I don't think my sexual orientation is primarily a result of age, as I know plenty of young women who aren't anything like me.

Since you've already said that men do turn you on, I assume you're bi. However, I think your difficulty with getting close to men is that they intimidate you and you're afraid of not being in control emotionally. Instead, you just let them do whatever and it's just sex with no emotional risk.
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