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 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 2
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Pulling out earlyPage 3 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
How does pulling out early make u feel cheap and disposable?

He just wants to be safe......and is smart enough to know birth control pills arent 100% ....and some girls aren't great at taking them every day.....
Not that pulling out is a safe way to practice birth control.....but between the 2.....he's doubling his chances of no babies.
 goodkindacrazy
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 6
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Pulling out early
Posted: 3/12/2009 4:42:03 PM
It sounds as though he is worried about an unwanted pregnancy and doesn't quite believe you when you say you are on the pill. I don't know why he would stop this practice and then start up again. Perhaps something has happened to erode the trust he had built for you. Only way to know is to ask him outright.
 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 13
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Pulling out early
Posted: 3/12/2009 4:58:28 PM
If he is so worried about pregnancy, then why not slip on a rubber rain coat. Seems you two can have a conversation if you are in a relationship. Admittedly it also seems rather weird, because yes a few drops can contain enough spermatozoa to produce a pregnancy... I have a 25 yr old to prove that theory...
 Pitch Blease
Joined: 3/4/2009
Msg: 18
Pulling out early
Posted: 3/12/2009 5:46:40 PM
I had a bf that because of a pregnancy scare from his younger years, had a big problem with finishing inside. It didn't matter that I said it was okay or not, it was in his head he had to pull out. To this day, he still doesn't have kids, so I guess he's continuing on his path of pulling out.


LOLOLOL No, you can buy spermicidal strips that are in the same form as a listerine strip...no mess..


BUT you just know some guy is going to tell some girl that it's okay, right? Lot's of minty fresh babies.
 EvilLolli
Joined: 12/7/2008
Msg: 24
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Pulling out early
Posted: 3/12/2009 7:33:00 PM
Actually the "rhythm method" is touted as both a birth control and conception method if that gives you any clue to its effectiveness. It claims that by a womans body temperature you can predict the best and worst days to have sex for conception and that pulling out may be needed on the "high conception" days.

As for pulling out, its been proven repeatedly over the years as a failure for birth control. This method BTW is called "coitus interruptus".

OP communicate w/ your partner and EDUCATE yourself about the different forms of birth control available out there. I realize most education is lacking in todays sex education but there are multiple ways to prevent pregnancy that work w/ the pill. Like one poster said try a spermicide w/ the pill. You could also use a barrier like the sponge. diaphram or cervical cap.

As for why you bf is changing his pattern there could be a number of reasons but w/out discussing it w/ him you won't know for sure.
 EvilLolli
Joined: 12/7/2008
Msg: 29
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Pulling out early
Posted: 3/12/2009 8:28:59 PM
No one should rely on one form of birth control for 100% effectiveness. Even if used correctly every time they all have failure rates. The pill is highly effective but many women are not educated about what can interrupt its effectiveness. Many prescription drugs, OTC drugs, vitamins, and mineral supplements can interfere or reduce the effectiveness of the pill even when the pill is used perfectly. My ob/gyn basically said to be safe if you put any other pill in your mouth besides the BC pill, layer up.

But the guy could be pulling out for a variety of other reasons besides fear of pregnancy. It could be stress, self-consciousness, insecurity, decreased sensation(not your fault OP).
 notregme
Joined: 5/26/2005
Msg: 33
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Pulling out early
Posted: 3/12/2009 9:10:05 PM
well the pill isnt %100. why have a kid you dont want.How it makes you feel well that floors me.But i dont understand women well anyway.lol
 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 34
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Pulling out early
Posted: 3/12/2009 9:37:26 PM
Yes it is soooo true a person can get preggers on the pill even if it is taken correctly. During that off time where a woman has her period, yep, ovulation can occur, not one of those things most women want to hear or know about. guess dr's figure that most guys are two grossed out to have sex with a woman during her cycle, and that most women don't shoot out little ovums that often.

Yes it does take ONE sperm, however one really does need back up, because there is a 50 50 chance of going up the wrong fallopian tube, then where is that one sperm going to be??? In fact it takes the others working on the egg to break it open enough to get in, that is through natural conception that is.

Op, have the talk to understand your BF frame of mind.
 SAguy_06
Joined: 12/29/2005
Msg: 39
Pulling out early
Posted: 3/13/2009 4:27:20 AM

How do I tell him that this makes me feel cheap and disposable?


Where is he depositing his wiennie water, that makes you feel cheap?
 OjosAzules777
Joined: 1/23/2009
Msg: 41
Pulling out early
Posted: 3/13/2009 3:29:46 PM
He could be playing it safe and he may enjoy doing it. I do. I don't get this whole "It makes me feel cheap" vibe. Variety and openness are cornerstones for a healthy sex life. Talk to him about it. Also how does he treat you outside of bed? Does he spend lots of time kissing , touching, and pleasing you? Some who treats someone cheap is usually all out for themselves.
 CinderellaScorpio
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 45
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Pulling out early
Posted: 3/13/2009 4:10:23 PM
ummm..does pulling out early actually work??
precum happens way before the guy actually cumming, and precum contains semen as well...just saying'
 x_johnny_x
Joined: 8/28/2008
Msg: 46
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Pulling out early
Posted: 3/13/2009 4:14:58 PM
^^^ true,
thats why you should always wear condoms no matter how long you've been in a relationship, unless you do want children.
 windloverr
Joined: 2/29/2008
Msg: 47
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Pulling out early
Posted: 3/13/2009 4:20:19 PM
I'm posting without actually reading all of the comments; so if I'm redundant...shoot me.

First, in order to be able to address the issue, and communicate effectively, you need to know WHY he is pulling out. Ask him. Then address whatever his concerns are. There are LOTS of possible explanations. It could be he's simply whatched a lot of porn; and has been conditioned to find watching himself ejaculate on something, or someone, sexually exciting. In that case it's an east fix; just explain that you love feeling him cum inside of you; and NEED that to feel sexually fulfilled. It could be that he, or an acquaintence, have been burned by an ex lover who swore she was taking the pill every day, but purposefully stopped, without telling him, because she WANTED to get pregnant, for any number of reasons. In this case, you're dealing with trust issues, which may be much more difficult to overcome; and may take much longer. If that is the case, you might start with a compromise of having him cum on some part of you, or in, or on, something else, that you find sexually arousing. As has been expressed here, different women are turned on by a guy cumming in different places; whether it be their mouth, face, neck, breasts, belly, a$$, etc; and some people are aroused by seeing a guy cum on or in a toy, plate, or glass. In that case it's "whatever turns you on."

As for it making you feel "cheap and disposable"; that is entirely your issue. However, if it's a good relationship; and he's not a total a$$; you should be able to just tell him; and he should REALLY want to know. I would be devistated to find out that something I was doing made my partner feel "cheap and disposable", or devalued in any way. I have very little tolerance for some things; and I cannot imagine a "decent human being" being comfortable, or prefering an activity, that made their lover feel the way you are describing.

ASK him why he does it. Address the issue. Let him know it is a TOTAL turn off for you.

Do you know what they call people who practice the "rythum method" or "coitus interuptus"? Parents.
 ForeverLong
Joined: 11/22/2007
Msg: 48
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Pulling out early
Posted: 3/13/2009 4:39:30 PM
Precum may contain sperm if the man has ejaculated and has sex before any remaining sperm are flushed out by urinating. If you are having sex and have not ejaculated earlier in the day there are no viable sperm in the precum. Precum does not cum from the testicles. It comes from the cowper's gland, a lubricant for the penis. Doctors for example don't want anyone to rely on coitus interuptus and correctly say it may contain sperm. It's not 100% reliable and there is no guaranteed that a guy will pull out every time.
 RobertKoi
Joined: 11/9/2008
Msg: 49
Pulling out early
Posted: 3/13/2009 4:43:18 PM
Pulling your d|ck out is better than no protection at all. Besides, rubber sucks anyway.
 Blondecharmthe3rd
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 55
Pulling out early
Posted: 3/13/2009 9:23:19 PM
Ask the question... you normally will get an answer, of sorts. But be prepared for that answer.
 Pitch Blease
Joined: 3/4/2009
Msg: 61
Pulling out early
Posted: 3/14/2009 12:42:07 PM

Pulling out early? Sounds like he's pulling out just in time.


Funny!



digital manipulation

I've never heard of it called that before but I will use that from now on. Thanks.
Pulling out early
Posted: 3/14/2009 12:49:00 PM
Well you can start by telling him its usually the pre cum that gets a person pregnant not the final BLOW.... you pre cum deeper and its got more swimmers :}
but other than that use a condom to and tell him honestly..... Good luck
 Goin_mobile
Joined: 6/12/2006
Msg: 67
Pulling out early
Posted: 3/14/2009 10:34:22 PM

Rubber sucks??? REally...tell me robertkoi, would you rather wear a condom for your few minutes of bliss or go bare and then pay for and raise a child for the rest of your life (yes, life, NOT 18 years)....

Hmmmm...choices, choices... condom or baby, condom or baby....

Ooh, and let's throw in an std or 2 to make things really interesting...


Amen. Amazes me how cavalier people are about STDs and unwanted pregnancies.
 Redlance71
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 68
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Pulling out early
Posted: 3/14/2009 11:15:09 PM
Maybe he likes to see his handywork. If trust is an issue then maybe condoms better cause can he really trust you to be STD free/faithful if he does not trust you are always taking the pill.

It's all redundant anyways, what you need to do it address this with him. You've gotten all the best advice/theories and now it's time to talk to him, if you have'nt already. Best of luck!
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