Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  >      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 hardmantotake
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 52
He couldn't get it UP, should I give him another chance??Page 2 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
well as a man think of it from his point of view i have had this happen but with me its like i was so excited by her i poped to soon and i told her give me about 20 mins
i got it back up again and we make love 2 times that night and it was my wife and so was so good
just give him a chance man becaz its not easy sometimes but you will get planty of his goodies if you just work at it theres nothing better then haveing the both of you cum 2 3 or times a night
i know this becaz i can do it and i loveit
 hardmantotake
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 53
He couldn't get it UP, should I give him another chance??
Posted: 3/16/2009 9:10:16 AM
well as a man think of it from his point of view i have had this happen but with me its like i was so excited by her i poped to soon and i told her give me about 20 mins
i got it back up again and we make love 2 times that night and it was my wife and so was so good
just give him a chance man becaz its not easy sometimes but you will get planty of his goodies if you just work at it theres nothing better then haveing the both of you cum 2 3 or times a night
i know this becaz i can do it and i loveit
 The_Jesse
Joined: 2/9/2009
Msg: 54
view profile
History
He couldn't get it UP, should I give him another chance??
Posted: 3/19/2009 8:55:07 AM
I can't believe that you even have to consider whether or not you should see him again. And it's even more concerning that you're framing this like it's a tryout and that he only has one more opportunity to "make the team." If you like, love, or otherwise have a strong affection for this man then give him all the "chances" he needs to correct this issue. Hell, spend an entire weekend with him and I can guarantee you that his equipment will eventually work because he won't feel the same sense of pressure and anticipation that often comes with the culmination of a single date. Few men will admit this, but it's not always easy to perform sexually and it doesn't get any easier when women have an attitude like yours. Unlike the female vagina which can just as easily be lubricated artificially as it can naturally a man's penis can't fake it- it either works or it doesn't. Show some god damn compassion and stop being so impatient and critical.
 SevSaint
Joined: 3/6/2009
Msg: 55
view profile
History
He couldn't get it UP, should I give him another chance??
Posted: 3/19/2009 10:48:36 AM
Well sex is just one piece of a relationship puzzly.
Dont give up on love over a piece that doesn't fit.
I was out of relationships for over 12 years. When i came to be with someone i was so nervous i had the same problems.
Stress.
Poor Diet
Being nervous.
Not use to having sex are all factors to why a man can't.
After a time me and my girl got comfortable and now we have some great moments together. Just take ur time, you will find that its worth it.
 parklabrea
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 56
view profile
History
He couldn't get it UP, should I give him another chance??
Posted: 3/19/2009 11:08:48 AM
I believe part of what the OP is saying, is that she wonders if some lack on her part caused him not to achieve an erection. She wonders if not putting pressure on him to have sex again would be the best plan. So, I don't think it's that she's judging him in a negative way, it's that she's not sure if her performance and body were inadequate and failed to arouse him. This only being her second boyfriend, she lacks experience. She also wonders if the guy put too much pressure on himself with his promises to give her the greatest sexual experience of her life.

My suggestion would be not to talk about the failed experience. If he mentions it act like you'd almost forgotten about it, because it was so unimportant. If he invites you to make love a 2nd time that should prove to you that there's nothing wrong with you or your performance. Oh, and never mention your ex-lover again.
 MrSerpent
Joined: 2/29/2008
Msg: 57
He couldn't get it UP, should I give him another chance??
Posted: 3/19/2009 11:08:59 AM
Duh. Really nervous, gee that's called performance anxiety. It happens to men out there from time to time. You also got to help the man out too to get excited.
 kendoll329
Joined: 12/8/2008
Msg: 58
He couldn't get it UP, should I give him another chance??
Posted: 3/19/2009 11:14:18 AM
Go to the bookstore and look at some sexuality books...we arent machines. Maybe your really not that attractive??
 catkin2007
Joined: 12/18/2007
Msg: 59
He couldn't get it UP, should I give him another chance??
Posted: 3/19/2009 11:14:44 AM
The Jessie said it all. Show some compassion. If you dump him over this... then you need more help then he does. He needs a woman who understands and is there for him not whining and complaining. You know if you spent the time enjoying the journey with no expectations, you might find the destination is far better than you could have imagined.

If you have all the things you say, take a second chance. Don't plan everything and just go with the flow...naturally. The no plans no expectations works far better... much better in the end.
 jazzfan062
Joined: 1/3/2005
Msg: 61
view profile
History
He couldn't get it UP, should I give him another chance??
Posted: 3/19/2009 2:24:05 PM
I have a good idea. Tell him you've discussed his problem all over the internet. Then tell him he has ONE MORE CHANCE to please Your Highness. If he can't get it to work, then he's a failure- dump him and then proceed to humiliate him some more, preferably on the internet so that EVERYBODY knows. I wish you good luck.
 whytwater
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 62
He couldn't get it UP, should I give him another chance??
Posted: 3/19/2009 2:46:37 PM

let one thing lead to another once you are both relaxed and in the mood. In other words, be a bit more spontaneous and see what happens.



Don't plan everything and just go with the flow...naturally. The no plans no expectations works far better... much better in the end.


These two ladies, OP, have a great approach. Follow them. Chill.
 2Irish1
Joined: 9/1/2008
Msg: 63
He couldn't get it UP, should I give him another chance??
Posted: 3/19/2009 3:03:56 PM
Personally I'm scared sh**less....It seems that, after 6 months of lots of 1 inning dates, that I may have a chance to get out of cyberland...And I'm wondering about ....ya know...over 50...male....things....ahh well....and then there's the George Castanza...the moment is gone thing....ya know...putting on protection and losing the moment.....yikes...all the PRESSURE!
 EyesWideOpen66
Joined: 8/8/2008
Msg: 64
He couldn't get it UP, should I give him another chance??
Posted: 3/19/2009 3:18:15 PM
Well jeez if I had one to get up I probably wouldn't be able to either after all that "planning" for it. Sex isn't supposed to be mapped out. Give the poor schmuck another shot!
 tallshyman
Joined: 1/1/2008
Msg: 65
view profile
History
He couldn't get it UP, should I give him another chance??
Posted: 3/19/2009 4:10:50 PM
Your giving up after one night ? It takes about 2 weeks of trying for good sex.
 sbry5150
Joined: 11/24/2008
Msg: 66
view profile
History
He couldn't get it UP, should I give him another chance??
Posted: 3/19/2009 4:38:01 PM
I find it odd that you would even be considering whether or not you should give him a second chance. As you say he found ways to please you. The big question here is what did you do to please him? What did you do to seduce him? What did you do to get him arroused at the possiblitiy of having sex with you?

If you kick him to the curb over something like this, I will wager that he will find some one else down the road who would gladly have him and find away to get things cooking in the bedroom.
 allthatglittersisnotgold
Joined: 1/3/2009
Msg: 67
He couldn't get it UP, should I give him another chance??
Posted: 3/19/2009 5:31:45 PM
I don't see why you are questioning this. First of all you said you loved him and you have known him for a long time and yet you just met and had sex that night? Hello, ba-ding,ba-ding, anybody home? Of course he was that way. He just met you.We don't know what he felt that evening but he sure wanted to please you ,that is for sure.
 mojojeff
Joined: 3/14/2009
Msg: 68
He couldn't get it UP, should I give him another chance??
Posted: 3/19/2009 7:53:30 PM
Yes, absolutely you should give him another try. I've never had this problem *searches desperately for a piece of wood to knock on* but I can say this for sure...men get nervous and anxious. There seems to be a misconception that men are always ready willing and able to do the deed 24/7 no matter the circumstances. Perhaps when we're in our 20's sure but as the ol' motor gets a little rusty it needs a little work. (There's an image for ya)
You said that "you decided" and "we talked and planned it very carefully". I'm going to take a big stab in the dark here and say that that was the problem right there. "planned it carefully"? Really? You do know that it's just sex, not a trip across Europe right? It's always best when it's spontaneous and both are ready to go. You plan these things then the guy gets thinking "oh oh" and the expectation starts to build up and it can go south from there really quick.
You also said "you decided". There is always that chance that he just wasn't that into you in that way. Contrary to popular belief if takes more than a heart beat and the correct plumbing to get us motivated. You didn't mention what you did to get him going, just what he did and didn't do for you. I could get a little nasty here but I wont. I'll end by saying if you're not willing to overlook a night that was fubared from the get go then you don't deserve him. I hope he moves on.
 MikeM1968
Joined: 11/3/2007
Msg: 69
He couldn't get it UP, should I give him another chance??
Posted: 3/19/2009 8:57:30 PM
First time with someone new can be a tad awkward. I can totally understand it. It's probably more common than you have heard about. Give him a few more chances. I'd suggest that you both get into a more relaxed mode for your first few times.

I mean, hell, there are always those "little blue pills" they sell in the convenience stores too. I will recommend a product named (funny enough) "weekend prince" or "weekend king" (same product basically--all natural ingredients). This one's the best one out there. They're usually like $6.00 US and will give a very, very lasting, yet still controllable effect. There's absolutely zero side effects and I can attest to this.

Some of that stuff works better than any prescription medicine I've ever sampled. I'm not ashamed to say I've used some of these things because performance and the quality of sex is that important to me. It's never because of who I'm with. I've shared this little *secret* with a few women I've been with and they understood once I explained why. They knew it wasn't them, more importantly they knew I was doing it *for* us. Sometimes that first time it's almost a *given* that I'll just use one rather than finding out the hard (pun-intended) way.

As time goes on and I've been with someone a few more times the comfort level get's better. Then there's never been any need for any *enhancements*.

Mike
 cyclonesworld
Joined: 6/1/2008
Msg: 70
He couldn't get it UP, should I give him another chance??
Posted: 3/19/2009 9:39:55 PM
I haven't read the entire thread so I don't know how this panned out but I will throw in my 2cents.

You said both of you were nervous. First time or not, if a guy is nervous it can be difficult to get it up and keep it up. There's nothing wrong with you, or him for that matter, it just happens.

Just give him some time and work you way slowly back to trying again. Don't rush it or anything and please don't look down on him for it.
 Blondecharmthe3rd
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 72
He couldn't get it UP, should I give him another chance??
Posted: 3/20/2009 2:16:04 AM
If it was an ongoing, untreatable ED problem... you would have to figure things out. Nerves and first time can affect the way things work. I have never NOT seen someone because of a softy. I even dated a guy who didn't get hard for 2 months. To me he was very interested in pleasing me, we played anyway and we both enjoyed.

There is fun to be had in so many other ways why limit yourself to strictly penile penetration? Take toys along, tease each other more, revert back to the making out and heavy petting to get things going.
 LeCutter
Joined: 2/25/2009
Msg: 73
He couldn't get it UP, should I give him another chance??
Posted: 3/20/2009 3:29:59 AM
Personally, apart from the initial excitement, I've always found the first time sleeping with someone to be the worst. It's awkward, somewhat embarassing, you're both trying to firgure out what the other likes without coming off like a total goofball. I've always been a firm believer - no pun intended - that sex gets better the more you get comfortable with someone.

There may have been a lot of reasons of why he failed to launch, so I wouldn't worry about it. If, however, you try it a few times and it's still a problem, then you need to move along.
 anonymouslyme
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 76
He couldn't get it UP, should I give him another chance??
Posted: 3/20/2009 2:45:56 PM
Wow, you're harsh! The guy bared his soul to you, and told you flat out how nervous he was, and all you can think about is how disappointed YOU were? And here you are discussing it in an open forum ~ WOW ~ now that's insensative.

I can't help but wonder if he sensed how judgemental you are, and that's what made him so nervous?

Maybe his "little soldier" has better instincts than he does about women, and ran for the hills.
Yes, give the guy another chance ~ by not going out with him again. Give him the chance to meet a compassionate, caring, sensative woman who will not judge and criticize him so harshly.
 dannyr0697
Joined: 9/23/2006
Msg: 77
view profile
History
He couldn't get it UP, should I give him another chance??
Posted: 3/20/2009 6:08:08 PM

Wow, you're harsh! The guy bared his soul to you, and told you flat out how nervous he was, and all you can think about is how disappointed YOU were? And here you are discussing it in an open forum ~ WOW ~ now that's insensative.



Excuse the pun, but this is a hard subject for most men to discuss.
I totally agree with anonymouslyme here. I might even add the you are an inconsiderate biotch.
I have diabeties and, regretfully, when my sugar levels are out if wack, I experiounce this problem. Not always, but sometimes. I've learned to do things to a woman that can, literally, curl your toenails. I have this occasional problem to THANK for this extra knowledge. I might never have learned some of these things without it, such is my desire to please her AND feel like superman in the process.
I say, if he's attentive to your body and your feelings, HELL YEAH, give him another try.

L8TR
 Leeanne
Joined: 10/14/2005
Msg: 80
view profile
History
He couldn't get it UP, should I give him another chance??
Posted: 3/20/2009 7:23:52 PM
If something's broken I toss it out or I return it to the store and get my money back!!



















Geeze I'm kidding - you people are way too serious!!! Lighten up! Oh wait he couldn't get it up - toss him!!
 supermanb182
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 81
He couldn't get it UP, should I give him another chance??
Posted: 3/20/2009 7:37:16 PM
Well of course, you planned on having sex together for the first time. You planned it! He was thinking about that all day and was under more pressure than you can imagine. Next time, dont plan it. Take him to your house and take advantage of him :) That will get him going for sure. He's not going to expect it all day.
 blondegirl24
Joined: 8/14/2008
Msg: 83
He couldn't get it UP, should I give him another chance??
Posted: 3/20/2009 8:22:38 PM
Of course give him another chance. Poor guy did everything he could to please you. He has told you it's not you. I don't know how old he is but dating men in their 50's it has happened to me. Reassure them, try and make light of it not to embarrass him. Why not go to the doctor with him and let the doctor figure out what is wrong.

You know how difficult it is to find a decent guy and he sounds decent so don't be so quick to get rid of him. I think too many people dump someone at the first sight of an imperfection and then whine when then can't meet someone. Who knows down the road for whatever reason you couldn't orgasm...medications, stress and mentalpause. Wouldn't you want him to understand and stay?

He feels bad enough; try to make light of it and you will get much more appreciation from him.


Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  >