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 blondegirl24
Joined: 8/14/2008
Msg: 83
He couldn't get it UP, should I give him another chance??Page 3 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
Of course give him another chance. Poor guy did everything he could to please you. He has told you it's not you. I don't know how old he is but dating men in their 50's it has happened to me. Reassure them, try and make light of it not to embarrass him. Why not go to the doctor with him and let the doctor figure out what is wrong.

You know how difficult it is to find a decent guy and he sounds decent so don't be so quick to get rid of him. I think too many people dump someone at the first sight of an imperfection and then whine when then can't meet someone. Who knows down the road for whatever reason you couldn't orgasm...medications, stress and mentalpause. Wouldn't you want him to understand and stay?

He feels bad enough; try to make light of it and you will get much more appreciation from him.


 Confident247
Joined: 1/1/2009
Msg: 84
He couldn't get it UP, should I give him another chance??
Posted: 3/20/2009 8:28:33 PM
OP,
Being that he went out of his way to please you sexually (orally) i say you should definetly give him another chance.
 wolftxus
Joined: 2/24/2009
Msg: 89
He couldn't get it UP, should I give him another chance??
Posted: 3/21/2009 12:12:54 AM

if you have a stopwatch handy ask him when he's ready to try then yell "Go!"....

OP, perhaps PhxNiceGuy is onto something. On your next date, tell your guy upfront it is his last chance. When the mood is right, tell him he has 20 seconds to get it up, or else he is history. Just to add to the pressure, make some predictions about that you don't expect it to be very big anyway. About three seconds after he drops his undies go 'tic toc ... tic toc ... tic toc' and stare impatiently at his organ. Get real close as if to verify that something is happening, then back off and shake your head in disbelief. As you gently push him towards the door, complain about how his impotence makes you feel as a woman...

On second thought - could it be that your attitude has something to do with it?

I liked another poster's comment, too, that the little man is trying to tell the big man something. Sometimes he knows better and plain refuses. Don't worry about your looks though, such cases are usually more about your behavior.
 Smuggler
Joined: 11/21/2006
Msg: 90
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He couldn't get it UP, should I give him another chance??
Posted: 3/21/2009 3:46:23 AM
YES YES YES and yes again.
Sex is 90% in the brain speak to any theapist, or read any book, on the subject.
If this guy is great, and you have a connection, and you like him, for Gods sake do something.
Get him some Viagra to kickstart him.
You owe it to yourself, and to him
 ohio07
Joined: 12/27/2008
Msg: 91
He couldn't get it UP, should I give him another chance??
Posted: 3/21/2009 1:01:37 PM
She couldn't cum/"squirt", should I give her another chance? Of course! See how silly this question really is?
 BlueEyes2love
Joined: 12/14/2008
Msg: 92
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He couldn't get it UP, should I give him another chance??
Posted: 3/21/2009 5:00:05 PM
Everyone deserves another chance.
 1984,loveis
Joined: 2/27/2009
Msg: 93
He couldn't get it UP, should I give him another chance??
Posted: 3/21/2009 9:18:16 PM
IF you really CARE for him HELL yeah
 idoc_steve
Joined: 3/20/2009
Msg: 97
He couldn't get it UP, should I give him another chance??
Posted: 3/23/2009 2:20:09 PM
Guys get uptight..sometimes it's more of a problem in the beginning of a relationship with a new woman in your life. I've been there...and the women have been totally understanding and patient and treated it like a nonissue. Within a week or two everything was right back up to speed. I noticed that I had this problem to some extent in all 3 intimate relationships during my first foray out to the field in over 16 years of marriage, but it was less of a problem each time.

Any woman who will shoot a guy down because he can't perform on the first, or second, or third time..or whatever..is in my opinion very shallowminded and does not have a good capacity to understand her partner nor an inclination to care all that much.

At the very least, talk about it and find out what the issue is. If the guy has a permanent problem then that's another matter entirely but it's something he oughta let you know about.
 Lookinatcha1
Joined: 12/27/2008
Msg: 98
He couldn't get it UP, should I give him another chance??
Posted: 3/23/2009 2:32:12 PM
It all depends on how you really feel about him. Have been in a relationship for nearly a year and he is having more and more problems. As a woman, I want great sex, which includes a penis that is hard. It becomes difficult to determine what you feel for the guy and what you want sexually. At some point, you have to make a choice, do you want awesome sex or do you want a relationship with a man who may not be able to get an erection, even with "the pill"....
Good Luck Girl,
I will be going back home alone and looking for the relationship I need...
 clearbluecolors
Joined: 1/8/2009
Msg: 99
He couldn't get it UP, should I give him another chance??
Posted: 3/24/2009 1:36:00 AM
You are a very wise man
 Joeld49
Joined: 8/12/2005
Msg: 101
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He couldn't get it UP, should I give him another chance??
Posted: 3/24/2009 6:52:40 AM
No, I think you should dump him for his sake. Given the sensitivity that you show by even asking this question, he would be better off without you.
 RAULV-BB
Joined: 7/19/2008
Msg: 103
He couldn't get it UP, should I give him another chance??
Posted: 3/24/2009 7:21:35 AM
dont go "ahead" give him "head" and plz make sure you are waxed.
 RAULV-BB
Joined: 7/19/2008
Msg: 104
He couldn't get it UP, should I give him another chance??
Posted: 3/26/2009 6:36:49 AM
you are making a really big deal out of it, seems to me you are here to get laid more than anything else, "FIND THE MAN NO THE GAME"
and for those girls emails that i got after my first post, ..........we men always will be kids, so make sure to wrap the toy with a bow and sexy papper. if you dont get it, good luck with the Energ. Bunny !
 smokefriendly
Joined: 3/26/2008
Msg: 106
He couldn't get it UP, should I give him another chance??
Posted: 3/26/2009 9:08:09 AM
Absolutely. You want to base the whole relationship on a small blip on the radar? Maybe you should ask yourself what he is thinking. Maybe he is thinking that he was not excited by you, huge possibility.

If I sleep with a woman and she is not sopping wet I do not think I should dump her.
 tigershark7778
Joined: 3/18/2009
Msg: 107
He couldn't get it UP, should I give him another chance??
Posted: 3/26/2009 10:16:58 AM
He might have a prostate problem or ED, but that's just my professional non-certified medical opinion.
 2Irish1
Joined: 9/1/2008
Msg: 108
He couldn't get it UP, should I give him another chance??
Posted: 3/26/2009 10:22:09 AM
Has it ever been concidered he's a Leprechaun and it was up...you just couldn't tell?

Either that or Viagra...
 derek2486
Joined: 2/24/2009
Msg: 109
He couldn't get it UP, should I give him another chance??
Posted: 3/26/2009 10:37:04 AM
Go Down on him. Did you try that. And yes nerves can do that. You built it up so much.
I bet you were the lay on the bed type and didnt even help his cause. Stop being lazy turn a porno on kiss his neck get him tipsy and it will take care of itself.
 Gone To The Beach 09
Joined: 4/5/2008
Msg: 110
He couldn't get it UP, should I give him another chance??
Posted: 3/26/2009 1:16:07 PM
The OP sounds inexperienced and unsure of herself. She might not know that most women do not climax thru intercourse by itself.

She might be interested in learning about some of the other things she might be missing if she gave up on this man, since he was eager to please her.

A well known Radio Psychologist once said that for some women, foreplay IS the play.

By experimenting, I have learned some foreplay techniques that have pushed women who were sexually capable, to a primal scream, rolling orgasm, female ejaculation, and sometimes a series of each, where vigorous intercourse by itself will not : )
 marisia
Joined: 10/25/2008
Msg: 111
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He couldn't get it UP, should I give him another chance??
Posted: 3/26/2009 1:30:08 PM
Definately. Nerves can play a big part. It would be much more worrying if he had a hard on but was a selfish lover. As he was generous and enjoyable and he was able to talk about the situation sounds like he could be a great boyfriend in bed and out. as he will probably equally good qualities out of the bedroom..:
Ive been in both situations. With the man who sometimes stayed soft, the sex was wonderful, intimate, giving, fun. But iv also had a very selfish lover and in the end i felt completely used and ended the relationship. The selfishness extended into all parts of the relationsip.

There are lots of reasons for inability to get a hard on depending on age.
Nerves, alcohol, drugs social and prescription, illness the list is long.
Good luck, if you like this man see him again
 redkatt
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 112
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He couldn't get it UP, should I give him another chance??
Posted: 3/26/2009 2:24:25 PM
Yes, it happens even to the "best" of them.

Give him another shot.
 mydoggie
Joined: 7/19/2007
Msg: 113
He couldn't get it UP, should I give him another chance??
Posted: 3/26/2009 2:54:45 PM
Well, what makes you think that the second time will be different?
 DiDiMarie
Joined: 3/24/2009
Msg: 119
He couldn't get it UP, should I give him another chance??
Posted: 3/29/2009 10:56:37 AM
Since you said that you've only been with one man, my question for you is......during foreplay.....did he have an erection......

When he was touching, feeling, sucking and licking you......did you reach down and reciprocate with your hands or your mouth.....and if so.....did he have an erection while in your hands or mouth......because if he did.......then the likelihood is that when it was time for him to perform.....he couldn't achieve an erection because of his nerves........This happened to me once before where the anticipation was so great, that his nerves got the best of him......(had nothing to do with me)......he took care of me being a wise man of experience, and the next time we were together, he was amazing......it was just his nerves the first time.......

If he didn't have an erection during foreplay and you were doing your part to assist him, then that would make me worry that perhaps there are other factors involved.....

Nonetheless, I believe you should not feel insecure about him not wanting or desiring you because obviously, he did prove that to you by taking care of your needs in spite of his own......

The second time will more than likely be better for both of you......if I were you, I would make the second time about him.......give him ALL of the attention he deserves....show him by your actions and tell him with your words that you want him.....it will help him relax.......and perform better......and don't be surprised when he just throws you down and gets to work.....LOL

I hope this helps......
 idoc_steve
Joined: 3/20/2009
Msg: 120
He couldn't get it UP, should I give him another chance??
Posted: 3/29/2009 11:31:40 AM
You as woman should be understanding, especially if you connect with this guy in other ways.


I hate that word. "Should".

No such thing, in practical terms. No one "should" do anything unless they are some how responsible for doing a particular task or whatever...

A woman can tell a guy to screw off and take his erectile dysfunction elsewhere and go out with a guy who is rock hard and can go at it all night long.

It would be "nice" if everyone was courteous, and patient, and understanding, and respectful but most aren't and there's no law that says they have to be.

Of course in the end, "karma" (as I define it) may come back to bite them because they might miss out on a great guy who only has a temporary problem and might treat them better than some loser stud they jump into bed with that gives them immediate sexual gratification.

 NotTheAverageChick
Joined: 7/9/2006
Msg: 121
He couldn't get it UP, should I give him another chance??
Posted: 3/30/2009 12:07:39 AM
OP: I understand your wondering if you were somehow the problem. At 19, with modest dating experience (but concave tummy, perky small boobs, and high round butt) I dated a 41 year old who couldn't get it up...handjobs, blowjobs, nothing worked. I found every reason why it was my fault (too skinny, boobs too small, too inexperienced)...and it completely melted my self-esteem. After one year, I found out that his ex-wife left him to be a lesbian (with his sister-in-law), he had this problem even with her, and he hoped a young chick would help cure him. At first, he was eager to pleasure me orally, then he began to be lazy and not even want to do that (although he expected hour-long oral!). We broke up...I hesitated to even get naked for the next guy...then he worshipped me and my body.

So, sometimes, if there is enough good relationship stuff present, you give a person more chances and it works out; sometimes, despite numerous chances, it doesn't. But, there are times that you need to assess what's important to you (hard-pounding, pile-driving? or doesn't-matter-how-orgasms) and cut your losses early. Some posters say you're selfish for considering dumping him after one-time, some will say stick with him for three-five times, some will say you should give up head-banging thrusting for a good licking (or just to have a man)...others are angry that you're asking a legitimate question on an adult dating website in the sexual issues area....only YOU can weigh what's critical to you.

And please disregard all the men who responded with the you-must-be-ugly, you-don't-know-what-you're-doing posts.....
 gracengracie
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 122
He couldn't get it UP, should I give him another chance??
Posted: 3/30/2009 12:36:10 AM
Seriouslyfun1

You made me laugh hard!!! But your points are good....
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