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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Ever meet someone from a site without seeing a picture first?      Home login  
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 Call Me Sugar
Joined: 10/7/2008
Msg: 1
Ever meet someone from a site without seeing a picture first?Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Has anyone ever met someone without seeing a picture of them first?
I bet I'm the only one... lol

Ive never met anyone without seeing a picture first but I met someone who didnt see my picture.. I don't think I could ever do that.. He didn't even ask me for a picture or a physical description. It made me wonder at first if he was desperate. But after talking through messages for a while i noticed he had an amazing personality and great sense of humor.. seemed totally confident in his profile and also mentioned that looks and weight werent that important to him. he was more concerned about personal hygiene.
i was like, wow! this is my lucky day!! lol... he doesnt care what i look like?!?
ive always had a bit of insecurity about my weight.. im not thin but im not fat either. ive been called voluptuous.. i dont have a pic on my site but if someone asked for one i would always email it.
but this guy never asked... and when i met him in person i was more nervous thinking what he thought of my body than anything else..
i met him 5 months ago and we clicked instantly. we have so many things in common and we still see each other to this day..
this doesnt happen too often, does it?
 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 2
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Ever meet someone from a site without seeing a picture first?
Posted: 3/15/2009 9:39:16 PM
I have tried that, and I have to say it has not worked out all that well...

You had a very unique experience, kind of like how a blind person would date...

Congrats for defying the visual impression most people feel they need.
 aSydneyMale
Joined: 5/16/2006
Msg: 3
Ever meet someone from a site without seeing a picture first?
Posted: 3/15/2009 10:05:20 PM
I've taken the chance and done this 3 times this year, on all occasions the women have been lovely, no chemistry with the first 2, but I had a great dinner with the third lady last night. We're going to the movies tomorrow night and we'll see what happens.

In all instances they contacted me and I was struck by the humanity and intelligence behind their words, they took the chance to contact me and had the confidence in themselves to know they were great company.

The few ladies I have had trouble with were the ones with photos 10 years and 15 kilos older than their reality.
 Call Me Sugar
Joined: 10/7/2008
Msg: 4
Ever meet someone from a site without seeing a picture first?
Posted: 3/15/2009 10:18:44 PM
asydneymale - i forgot to mention, im the one who contacted him first. we got so caught up in constant messaging the entire day that it dawned on me after we made plans to meet each other that he didnt even see what i looked like.. AND YES... we met in person the very next day after meeting online... we just hit it off so well we figured why wait?
 Rushâ„¢
Joined: 2/17/2009
Msg: 5
Ever meet someone from a site without seeing a picture first?
Posted: 3/16/2009 7:17:13 AM
Nope. Besides, the guys who usually send messages without photos on their profile, end up sending them to me privately. That's without me even asking.
 grkboy
Joined: 3/20/2008
Msg: 6
Ever meet someone from a site without seeing a picture first?
Posted: 3/16/2009 7:30:13 AM
No.

Call me shallow or whatever.

I won't even message profiles that do not have photos or they don't have clear photos.


If you have to hide what you look like on a dating site, then it shows to me a big red flag.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 7
Ever meet someone from a site without seeing a picture first?
Posted: 3/16/2009 7:40:17 AM
I only did it once.

And it turned out I got very lucky. This woman was so tired to get hit with 300 emails a day so she took all the photos off her profile and she only contacted who she wanted to contact. She made the initial contact with me. Because she didn't have any photos, I was kind of rude to her. But we kept talking and she was fun. I had at the time Opera season tickets and I said to myself, even if this woman is ugly as hell, she has been some fun, and may as well take to the Opera someone that can appreciate it. So I ask her out.

So although I don't recommend to do first dates like this, I saw it more as having some company. So we met at some wine bar and then proceeded in one car. It turned out she was into body sculpting and had a 10 for a body. You could tell she was in her forties, yet she looked like she was probably about 36. She was into high tech sales and was very sociable and funny. But she has this accent from the Bronks, and I could not help but make fun of it, particularly the way she said Dooah, for door. And stuff like that. We ended up going out for several months, but this was at a time when I sabotaged all my relationships and was not remotely interested in the exclusive talk.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 8
Ever meet someone from a site without seeing a picture first?
Posted: 3/16/2009 2:19:08 PM
I've had three women from pof meet me who had never seen a picture of me and two others who agreed to meet me before I got my picture up. It doesn't seem all that uusual. I guess it's my charm.
 grkboy
Joined: 3/20/2008
Msg: 9
Ever meet someone from a site without seeing a picture first?
Posted: 3/16/2009 2:51:21 PM

But on the serious side; whatever fishing method you employ - including your preference for bait - is up to you...

I've noticed there are some ladies who have thoroughly engaging profiles and witty forum posts sans photos; yet you come to find they are very attractive in appearance...

Works as an excellent filter for them... Eliminates those who choose not to read, as well as the ones who would otherwise hit on them based solely on their looks....

Keeps junk mail in their mailboxes to a minimum...


I hear you, but in my life when anything involving "blind" and "dating" came into play, the end result was usually a very ugly woman the size of an ox. I've also had attractive female friends end up in the same boat.

It's someone's preference if they want to show photos or not, and I'm sure the photoless female profiles get attention as well.

For me though...looks matter to a degree and I want to see who I'm talking to or getting to know before I would even fathom a first date. And before anyone then pulls out the "well, you're missing out then on some amazing women", I found Ms Right...and she never had to hide anything from me, nor I from her.

Not dissing anyone who does not want to show a photo, but more giving my personal perspective on how I view a profile where there are no photos. When I did online dating, a good photo drew me in, and the profile is what made me decide whether or not to email said person.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 10
Ever meet someone from a site without seeing a picture first?
Posted: 3/16/2009 3:35:21 PM
Nope, I did it once. Talked to her a little bit, could tell we had almost nothing in common. Met anyway, since she was down the street. We couldn't figure out anything to do--I offered five ideas, she wasn't interested in any.

Oh well, I figured that would happen. Nothing lost, therefore. Would I go a long distance to meet someone? Only if I planned to go there anyway--did that w/ someone who lived out in Hershey PA. Always wanted to see it, and she was in the hotel biz, so she got me a cheap (but good) room so I could catch a car show at Carlyle.
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 11
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Ever meet someone from a site without seeing a picture first?
Posted: 3/16/2009 7:53:01 PM
Yeah, my sweetie didn't have a pic posted on his POF profile. We clicked on email, continued through IM and then on to the phones. By this time I had to meet the fabulously interesting "man behind the profile". I was compelled to meet him and I figured if it didn't work in person, we'd have a great evening of conversation, cuz we could, and did, talk about anything and everything.

Our first date was truly blind... he'd offered nothing of a description of himself beyond "shaved head, blue eyes, you'll have to decide if you think I'm attractive or not to you".

We'd joked... ok, it was mostly me and my twisted sense of humour, who joked about the awful possibility that we'd meet, our eyes would lock and I'd throw up on his shoes! Seriously, we'd both dated on-line enough to know that sometimes even the coolest connection on-line just doesn't play out in the cold light of day.

We're together, coming up on two years now.
 aSydneyMale
Joined: 5/16/2006
Msg: 12
Ever meet someone from a site without seeing a picture first?
Posted: 3/16/2009 11:50:33 PM

We're going to the movies tomorrow night and we'll see what happens.

Well, scratch that one, she actually had dinner with her ex-boyfriend last night and decided to get back together with him! I don't exactly know which mirror I cracked along the way, but this is the third woman who decided she wasn't over the ex, amongst the various ones who were too busy with their careers, hobbies etc to actually date.
 saggy ass and saggy tits
Joined: 5/22/2008
Msg: 13
Ever meet someone from a site without seeing a picture first?
Posted: 3/25/2009 7:05:25 AM
there is one simple reason i would not do it...
im not going to go anywhere and try guessing is that the person or that one.
im not a child anymore.
plus you put your self in a position where they would know who they are meeting , you get there , they look at you decide they dont like what they see and just go.
sorry ,but im beyond that and i refuse to play that game.
 BlueEyedAriesGuy
Joined: 8/17/2009
Msg: 14
Ever meet someone from a site without seeing a picture first?
Posted: 1/16/2010 10:24:05 AM
I met someone that DID have a pic, and it was still a disaster. She was really nice looking and pretty in the pic. She was 24 but the pic looked like a high school graduation pic. Something seemed off about that, but I dismissed the feeling. After all, people can have older pics up and still look fine. We talked on the phone throughout the week and then made plans to meet up on the weekend. It was after dark when she pulled up to pick me up, but I noticed from a distance that her hair had gotten quite a bit longer. Nice, I thought. I got in the car, put my seatbelt on and looked over at her. I think I didn't just do a double take, but a triple take.

I was looking at a mountain of a woman; a gigantic slab of flesh. I don't mean "a few extra pounds." I mean about 100 pounds difference from the pic. I was 210 or so at the time and she was easily 300. She asked me what I thought and I replied that it seemed like she'd gained weight since her picture was taken. She told me yes, that's what happens when you have 2 kids. I was almost certain that she told me she had eaten her kids. I was really freaked out. Not just because of the weight, but because she had never mentioned the huge difference between the pic she sent me and her appearance now.

She asked if I still wanted to go with her, and said it would be okay if I wanted to go home. I got out of the car, went home, went into my room and shut the door. It was a horrible experience and I was pretty disturbed by it. It was the same thing as if she had no picture and told me she was 5'6, 150. Or said she had long blonde hair and showed up bald. Or said she was divorced and ended up being recently separated. People expect to be told the truth and expect what the other person says to be the case when they meet. When it turns out they weren't, it's a feeling of betrayal. I've heard other people's stories of meeting people that had not told the truth about their looks and other things. They're entertaining to hear because it's so crazy how far off people make themselves out to be. Plus I feel that I can laugh as well as sympathize.

As far as meeting someone without a picture, I think I've done it once or twice, but for a long time now I've stuck to picture only. Because even then, that's just one aspect of the person and there's still a lot more to learn. They can be totally hot but that doesn't mean there will be chemistry or an attraction. I can understand women being frustrated over 300 emails a day because they're very attractive and wanting to filter people out. I personally won't contact someone *just* because she's good looking; I'm looking for a little more of a connection and compatibility than that, but I know how guys are. I can only imagine what it must be like to be female and have to deal with tons of guys coming at you all the time. I'd go crazy. Then again, I won't even read someone's page without a picture. I want to know what I'm getting into, starting with looks. Obviously I want to be attracted to many more things about them than that, but physical chemistry is high on the list.

To the people that have met without a picture and had things go well, all I can say is, you're lucky. Even with a picture and a great profile, things can go many different ways depending on the 2 people getting together. One person I met sticks out in my mind, and she did have a pic. But still, you never know. Once we met and I saw her in person for the first time, I was relieved. I told her that later on, and she asked what my first impression was of her. I told that I thought, *whew* she's cute!
 TooShadows
Joined: 9/26/2008
Msg: 15
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Ever meet someone from a site without seeing a picture first?
Posted: 1/16/2010 2:30:48 PM
Before I got online I used to meet women through various telephone chat lines. There was almost no way to see a picture of someone before I met them,so it was a major leap of faith. I must admit though,that there were almost no disappointments. The majority of the ladies were very honest about their appearance,and in fact a few times the woman said she was "average" looking and she turned out to be quite a knockout.
 RobertKoi
Joined: 11/9/2008
Msg: 16
Ever meet someone from a site without seeing a picture first?
Posted: 1/17/2010 4:19:10 PM
"Ever meet someone from a site without seeing a picture first?"
----------------
Yes I have. You can either date someone without asking anything. Or, you can ask questions and form a conclusion. If it's obvious that she's too much of this, too little of that or whatever, then it's up to you. I hate to say this but people who are "ugly" (whatever that is) often say "it's the inside the counts" and they also bash down on people who exercise and stuff like that. So if you add up everything that they've said it really shouldn't be that difficult to find out that you're chatting with a couch potato.
 briargate
Joined: 8/18/2008
Msg: 17
Ever meet someone from a site without seeing a picture first?
Posted: 1/17/2010 4:45:48 PM
While I agree that one shouldn't judge each other too harshly on their photos, it is relatively easy to take at least one good one. Oh, and if you are female and too attractive, just make your photo all fuzzy and out of focus. Ha.

I met someone once after having seen bad photos and really, it was difficult recognizing them in the first place. So how do you anonymous people meet? Do you wear a yellow flower in your button hole?
 m14shooter
Joined: 10/2/2009
Msg: 18
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Ever meet someone from a site without seeing a picture first?
Posted: 1/17/2010 6:38:47 PM
Back before the internet we actually met without even seeing the other person. I met many women like this and had several great relationships. Now it is all about the picture and a lot of people are written off without a chance.
 TedJMill
Joined: 7/6/2005
Msg: 19
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Ever meet someone from a site without seeing a picture first?
Posted: 1/17/2010 6:42:15 PM
Frequently. Half the women I've dated for a while were ones without a picture.
 onefishwilldo
Joined: 4/1/2009
Msg: 20
Ever meet someone from a site without seeing a picture first?
Posted: 1/18/2010 5:22:43 PM
You are the luckiest fish on POF.

When I first poin POF, I did communicate with men without photos and on d they email the pictures to me....I was speechless and no communication after that.
 MakeYouSmile26
Joined: 10/6/2009
Msg: 21
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Ever meet someone from a site without seeing a picture first?
Posted: 1/21/2010 2:43:15 PM
I have done it she turned out to be 17 :( when I was 25
 4408joseph
Joined: 1/10/2008
Msg: 22
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Ever meet someone from a site without seeing a picture first?
Posted: 1/22/2010 1:47:45 PM
Ever meet someone from a site without seeing a picture first?

Um...er...YES. I believe many of times.

Now, they swear up and down that their POF picture REALLY is them, but I tell ya..

If they came in the mini-mart where I was paying for my gas, did an unmasked/tight fitting outfit armed-robbery, had me drive the get-away car at gun point, took me to a warehouse where they kept me tied up for a week before releasing me. I sure the he11 wouldn't be able to pick them out of a 3 photo police picture line-up using their profile pics, even if the other two were Men!

 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 23
Ever meet someone from a site without seeing a picture first?
Posted: 1/23/2010 2:03:33 AM
Picture, nope. Recent picture should be your mantra.
 TedJMill
Joined: 7/6/2005
Msg: 24
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Ever meet someone from a site without seeing a picture first?
Posted: 2/3/2010 6:11:55 AM
Looks don't really matter to me; I've often met women without seeing a picture first. The two women I most recently dated for a while were both on sites without having a picture.
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