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 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 64
Are Looks so important???Page 2 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
Of course looks are so important, people built entire careers on it.

Everyone wants to be able to look at someone for extended periods of time and think they're the luckiest sons of b*tches alive, even doctors know that. They hire receptionist with a pleasant face/aspect, and professional demeanor, I've yet to see an "ugly/unattractive" receptionist at any of my doctor's office. Retailers know this too, they hire people who look good, attractive, pleasant and responsive to the public, who anyone would want to spend time with selecting merchandise.

People have been utilizing "looks" as a marketing scheme since the beginning of time, why would it be any different between two human beings? Who wouldn't want to be friends with, spend time with, be accompanied by someone who looks good, attractive, who is a pleasure to be with? Everyone I think. What happens with people who don't have such traits is that most people don't want to be in their company, do you want to look at them or be near them too long, it happens in real life.

It happens in the forums as well, if anyone is paying attention. Go to profile review, see how many of the men or women there have been complimented for their appearance, either as a way of trying to understand why they are not having good results, or as a way to make them aware that very little needs to be done (picture-wise). Just notice the reviews for non-attractive people versus attractive people. Don't believe me? stay in the forums a while and notice how many times people are quoted and how hidden compliments are hidden between messages. It even has an effect on what is said to the person whose message they are quoting. Just stick around.

Anyone living in a bubble aka not "blessed" in the good-looking department, will tell you looks don't matter. Ever hear of the sexual harassment claims by a reporter? It turned out, that it wasn't the actual reporter who was complaining, it was her unattractive colleagues, who started up complaining that the NFL players were harassing the attractive reporter, and that she shouldn't dress the way she does. There was nothing wrong with what the attractive reporter was wearing, the issue is that the reporter was attractive, anything she would have worn would have flattered her because she has a great body. She didn't even know there was an issue until her unattractive colleagues made a big deal out of it, at which point everyone laughed because it all looked like they were upset they were not thrown a bone nor would have been, under the same circumstances.

The more attractive people are, the more time people want to spend with them (even if virtually). The less attractive someone is, the less time people want to spend with them (even if virtually).
 _shakti_
Joined: 2/22/2014
Msg: 65
Are Looks so important???
Posted: 4/30/2014 10:51:45 PM
In real life, looks and physical attributes are the first thing that you notice. Then you hope that the rest lines up if you are attracted (depending on what you are looking for, lol).

But online the situation is flipped, at least for me. The so called 'chemistry experiment' in person is where the rubber hits the road, after a mental connection has been determined.

Some people need the looks to be first, for me I need there to be a mental connection first.. but ultimately, yes.. looks still do matter.

That said, people have different tastes. My one friend married a man who I thought was terribly unattractive, yet she and another friend of mine thought he was simply gorgeous. I've also been known to be with guys who others didn't find attractive. I've had people ask me- why are you with him?? Which was pretty insulting.

Another thing for me is that when seen merely for my looks, I actually end up feeling invisible. There is a whole lot more to me than that. So the guy who sees beyond to me, is generally the one who captures my attention/heart.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 66
Are Looks so important???
Posted: 5/1/2014 12:27:41 PM

for me I need there to be a mental connection first.


A lot of women are like this. In fact, once they are attracted to the guy at a mental level, to them, the guy looks hot and super attractive.
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 67
Are Looks so important???
Posted: 5/1/2014 1:14:07 PM
^^^^^

+1

Very true.
 _shakti_
Joined: 2/22/2014
Msg: 68
Are Looks so important???
Posted: 5/1/2014 7:22:59 PM

A lot of women are like this. In fact, once they are attracted to the guy at a mental level, to them, the guy looks hot and super attractive.
Absolutely true. Anything less is actually pretty boring.
 OrvilleOinkdexter
Joined: 3/30/2014
Msg: 69
Are Looks so important???
Posted: 5/2/2014 3:38:36 AM

What is so important about looks? Yes a person who is clean and has good body habbits are just part of who we are! But surely being yourself is most important! Personality is for me anyway the most important thing. I you have a great personality you are going to get on with other people in the social context! You could be drop dead good looking and be a rapist or a woman or man beater! you could be good looking and have a very poor S.O.H.
Is it fair to target people who are good looking just to have either a male ore female trophie on your are and they let you down in the personality stakes!
Yes there is the point that people who arn't the greatest looking can be dull but the vast majority are funny, kind natured, lovable, caring etc. I know for an absulute I am not the gratest looking person in the world I eccept that, but I have a great S.O.H or so I think!
In our busy lives we forget that looks don't matter but it is what is on the inside that counts not the outside!


I would not go as far as saying the outside "doesn't count". Are you suggesting you don't respond in any way to physical beauty? When you envision your all around "dream woman", do you intentionally make her physically unattractive? I'm doubting it.

No, I'm not suggesting physical beauty is the only important aspect, but I'm not sure I believe anyone who claims it's completely irrelevant. I believe we've all met people in our lives at some point who possessed a sense of humor, personality, and intelligence we appreciated, but couldn't muster a single romantic feeling for due to a complete lack of physical attraction.

There needs to be *some* level of physical attraction (and yes, I'm aware the concept of physically attractive differs from person to person) to keep the lustful feelings afloat, or you'll inevitably find yourself longing for someone else. You may not act upon it out of guilt, but the desire will be present.
 TrustInKarma
Joined: 2/14/2014
Msg: 70
Are Looks so important???
Posted: 5/2/2014 8:13:41 AM

I believe we've all met people in our lives at some point who possessed a sense of humor, personality, and intelligence we appreciated, but couldn't muster a single romantic feeling for due to a complete lack of physical attraction.


Yes, absolutely true. I met a guy in December 2012. He was smoking hot, ripped, absolutely perfect. But while we were just texting back and forth, I was not falling for him. I was just thinking this is going to be a hot fling, nothing more as he was quite a bit younger than me. But when we met in person and talked, I fell in love with his sweet personality. He was humble, sweet, not at all arrogant, and just made me feel like the luckiest woman in the world. The fact that he was absolutely gorgeous played a part in the whole picture - if I hadn't been insanely attracted to him, he would have been just a nice guy to hang out with, but nothing to get my juices flowing. Same thing if he had turned out to be a jerk, I would have not want to see him again after our first encounter. Since then, I've met lots of guys for first dates/meets, but nobody has evoked the same emotions this guy did. He was the perfect man in my mind, even after some of his more unpleasant sides of his personality emerged. Everybody else I've met since then has fallen short somehow. I feel like I'm cursed now lol.

The interesting thing is, that most of my friends don't find him as gorgeous as I do. They admit he has an incredible body, but he is not "their type". He is not caucasian, maybe that's the case.
 hellothere2018
Joined: 4/2/2014
Msg: 71
Are Looks so important???
Posted: 5/9/2014 5:33:51 AM
people judge me based off my looks, not my personality ever single time, it's like you don't know me
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 3/30/2014
Msg: 72
Are Looks so important???
Posted: 5/9/2014 10:39:04 AM
You've never had an ugly woman show interest in you? How did you feel about that? I feel guilty because I know inside that ugly person is an individual who might be the perfect match for me in every other way except sexually. How do you think women would perceive you if you thought all women were physically appealing?
 rockin-trucker82
Joined: 1/4/2014
Msg: 73
Are Looks so important???
Posted: 5/10/2014 9:34:37 AM


I was telling my girlfriend tonight that I wanted to write a book about how average looking guys could date very hot attractive women online as long as they understood some principles.


This assumes that knowing these principles can change women. Just a few minutes ago, I saw a profile. It was a gorgeous girl, and a lot of what I'm looking for in a girl... BUT!!!!! It says she doesn't date under 6 foot, no exceptions, so don't message her. This is something I will never be able to change about myself. We can't just grow or shrink at will.

It really comes down to luck. You can find those women, but you have to hope you're what they're looking for. Some will only talk to profiles that don't reveal much, some want to know everything about you. Some want only short messages to establish a conversation before messaging you back, some demand your life story. It's all just being in the right place at the right time, and doing what you'd normally do. But we're not all going to attract the hot girl (same goes for girls with guys) on these sites. That's the carrot on the stick that keeps us here
 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 75
Are Looks so important???
Posted: 5/10/2014 1:06:24 PM
Looks are very important, Looks can make it or break it.The only thing that can surpass good looks is money and fame.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 76
Are Looks so important???
Posted: 5/10/2014 1:40:26 PM

Well...It's been 10 years since the OP started this thread.
Were there no more recent threads available to post on this topic?


Some people are slow learners.
 kj521
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 77
Are Looks so important???
Posted: 5/10/2014 2:54:01 PM
"Just goes to show...the more things change, the more they stay the same."



Damned if you do.....and......damned if you don't!

If a new thread was started......someone would say....."Do a thread search! " :)


As far as looks are concerned I say.....Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and Pretty is.... as Pretty does......

I'll come up with some more later......a second glass of wine usually does wonders for inspiration! ;)
 rockin-trucker82
Joined: 1/4/2014
Msg: 78
Are Looks so important???
Posted: 5/13/2014 10:03:18 AM
I just want to know why looks matter to only friends. That's something you see on here a lot. "I'm not looking to date, just new friends to talk to on here, and maybe meet." A few sentences down: "If you're under 6'0 and overweight, don't bother."
 HonkyTonk_Woman
Joined: 9/16/2013
Msg: 79
Are Looks so important???
Posted: 5/13/2014 11:47:07 AM
Yeah...I wonder that too...when I see a guy that is just looking to be "friends".....on their profile...
I assume they aren't looking for a committment of any kind...maybe just sex ...or
Imo....Using it as an out.
They want a relationship....same as everyone else if the right person comes along.
 DoubleParked
Joined: 10/22/2008
Msg: 80
Are Looks so important???
Posted: 5/13/2014 12:52:24 PM
If you are looking for more than friendship, say, a LTR, a mate, of course looks are important. If you get lucky, you're going to be looking at that face EVERY DAY for a long time. Better be a face you like to look at! haha
 easterparadehat
Joined: 4/14/2014
Msg: 81
Are Looks so important???
Posted: 5/19/2014 2:26:25 PM
Through observation in the "real world" and here is that if you are a female have at least shoulder length peroxide fried dry blonde hair and matching tanned skin and thick makeup you'll get lots of responses.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 82
view profile
History
Are Looks so important???
Posted: 5/19/2014 3:11:42 PM


Through observation in the "real world" and here is that if you are a female have at least shoulder length peroxide fried dry blonde hair and matching tanned skin and thick makeup you'll get lots of responses.


Now that comment is just … well, b*itchy. I can’t think of a better way to describe it.

Yes, men (overall) find long hair more attractive on women than short hair. This is a fact, deal with it.

I have never met anyone who would prefer “fried dry” hair, you are just being … Well, I already said it.

The fact is, men prefer attractive women to not attractive women. And guess what? Women prefer attractive men to not attractive men. This ain’t rocket science, it’s just dating 101.
 Bob269
Joined: 3/29/2014
Msg: 84
Are Looks so important???
Posted: 5/20/2014 5:43:26 AM
I think it depends more on where you meet people. If your meeting on a dating site then yes it matters. If you sit beside a person in church for 6m0-1yr and get to know them, it doesn't matter as much.....Just my 2cents
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 85
Are Looks so important???
Posted: 5/20/2014 6:36:51 AM
Online dating profiles are a lot like resumes.
And some people just look better on paper.

I think in person, looks are a little less important than they
are online. Looks are probably the first thing most people notice,
but at least in person you get to flash them a smile or say something
witty to draw them in.

Online, there's your profile. If you look good...people may (or may not)
read it and figure you're worth meeting.

Some people find it easier to meet people offline.
I'm one of those peoples.
After meeting many people from online dating sites and public chatrooms,
I can honestly say, "you looked better in the chatroom."
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 86
Are Looks so important???
Posted: 5/20/2014 7:07:47 AM
Now that comment is just … well, b*itchy. I can’t think of a better way to describe it.

Yes, men (overall) find long hair more attractive on women than short hair. This is a fact, deal with it.

I have never met anyone who would prefer “fried dry” hair, you are just being … Well, I already said it.


I agree the remark was uncalled for. What's wrong with having long hair if it's thick and healthy? Long hair on women is feminine, and most men prefer it, including my partner. If a woman's hair is dry or thinning, then a short cut might look better on her---however, short hair isn't necessary for all of us.
 easterparadehat
Joined: 4/14/2014
Msg: 87
Are Looks so important???
Posted: 5/20/2014 12:54:38 PM
When you are 40 and older, shorter hair, no matter what it's thickness, takes about 10 yrs off of your face. Note there are sexy feminine short haircuts. Not all have to be 1" to 2" from one's head.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 88
Are Looks so important???
Posted: 5/20/2014 3:06:02 PM
When you are 40 and older, shorter hair, no matter what it's thickness, takes about 10 yrs off of your face.


Tell that to Sofia Vergara who’s 41 and has waist-length hair. It really depends on the woman in question. There’s no set rule that’s applicable to all women over 40.

Sometimes, short hair can actually make a woman look more matronly---especially if she’s carrying a large amount of extra weight. Short hair makes the head look smaller in proportion to the rest of the body, which visually adds pounds.
 Foodnmusicguy
Joined: 5/7/2014
Msg: 89
Are Looks so important???
Posted: 5/20/2014 3:22:14 PM

When you are 40 and older, shorter hair, no matter what it's thickness, takes about 10 yrs off of your face


Not only do I disagree with this but when a woman cuts her hair short she might as well be throwing in the towel with the exception of a few rare cases where it actually doesn't masculate them.

Just google " female actresses over 40 " and see how many still have long hair.
 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 90
Are Looks so important???
Posted: 5/20/2014 4:29:14 PM
for some women short hair does look hot.
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