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 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 116
Are Looks so important???Page 4 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

Make up is fine, but please include a photo without it. I'd really like to see the real person I might be waking up with:)

Everyone looks a hot mess when they wake up, make up is the least of the problems.

You can't put lipstick on a pig, btw

Well, they don't have lips, lol *drum roll*

Those push up bras are deceiving, kind of like a bag of chips from a vending machine. You open them up and, poof! All air. Not fair:(

It's only pushing up what's already there, it's not adding to what doesn't exist (but there are bras with such capabilities).

I might as well wear a baseball cap during the date.

It's not polite unless you're outside, and baseball caps distort the way your face actually looks, you'll look like you're hiding something or you're being followed by police.

it fair to ask if the carpet matches the drapes during our meet and greet? (joking)

It's a fair question, only not with those specific words, but if she shaves/waxes the "carpet", you still wouldn't know if it's true.

I'd take a 5 with a personality over a 10 that needs constant validation and red carpet treatment. The royal highness has arrived...arrgghhhh

Most people would, after dealing with providing red carpet treatment (where such is not reciprocated), it goes both ways.

I'm tempted to list plastic surgeon as my occupation:)

lmao, that's how I feel about Personal Trainers, like they are messaging me in hopes that I'll become their client, like hint hint. All these women would want from you is a free procedure, if their appearance is all they are into, lol.

They look half asleep with their eyes drooping.

So do people nodding off heroin, and yes EVERYONE I know is tempted to tell them to wake the f*ck up, as if that will make a difference.
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 3/30/2014
Msg: 117
Are Looks so important???
Posted: 5/28/2014 8:30:41 AM
Touche Belle! Love the responses.

The cap would hide my lack of hair follicles btw.

Does chia pet work on the scalp?
 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 118
Are Looks so important???
Posted: 5/28/2014 9:50:32 AM
I chuckle at the hair wars....

I was told many years ago, that if I cut my hair shorter, it would save me time.

I think time is very valuable, so I tried it.

Worst thing I ever did to my hair.

Mine is naturally curly, and the shorter it is, the curlier it is. With no length, or weight pulling it down, I look like a friggin Qtip. I will never cut my hair short ever again unless I am too ill to look after it myself.

As for time saving.... That for myself, was not true at all. With a short cut and tight curls, I was forced to blow it out everytime it got wet. Then I had to style it. With my long hair I can towel it dry and carry on with my day. Way less fuss.

I will be that elder, with hair down to her bum when she unrolls her messy bun at the end of the day. And all of the men I speak to about this, think that is just dandy.

I have a few co workers who really do rock the short cuts-but they spend a lot of time styling thier hair and I cannot be bothered to have to do that every day. (I also dont want to use all of that product needed to defy gravity) These women are HOT, dress very stylishly, have excellent figures and skin- and I think they would look gorgeous even if they were bald. They just have these angel faces that cannot look bad in anything. (I want to hate them, but they are too nice...lol)

I really dont care if a shorter cut would take years off my looks. I like the way I look as I age. I am not afraid to look older, in fact, I am thrilled that I was lucky enough to live this long in the first place. I have earned every line, wrinkle, and age spot I have and I have no desire to turn back the clock. I would rather have the respect that I am treated with as a woman with character and experience, than how I was treated when I was younger. (people assume youthful looking people dont have wisdom) I am 'heard' far more often now with age, than I ever was before and I like it!
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 119
Are Looks so important???
Posted: 5/28/2014 9:52:51 AM

The cap would hide my lack of hair follicles btw.

That's what you think, lol. Doesn't it get sweaty in there? I always assume men wear caps because they like the feeling of having their head covered and a constant shade from the elements (rain or shine), or maybe they are hiding a bad haircut. If all the pictures are with a cap, I'm assuming hair loss that's so advance, even HE is ashamed to let me see.


Does chia pet work on the scalp?

I doubt it, but they make great gifts in the summer, lol. What is working for me is Echosline, the whole treatment line. I lost half my hair about 6 months ago due to changing birth control pills (and of course switched back after that BS), had to cut my hair and all that, but 90% of it grew back, my hair is getting longer and stronger, and I'm loving it. Give it a try if you can. It may tingle, but it works.


Mine is naturally curly, and the shorter it is, the curlier it is. With no length, or weight pulling it down, I look like a friggin Qtip. I will never cut my hair short ever again unless I am too ill to look after it myself.

100% identified with that. The shorter I cut my hair, the tighter the curls get.


As for time saving.... That for myself, was not true at all. With a short cut and tight curls, I was forced to blow it out everytime it got wet. Then I had to style it. With my long hair I can towel it dry and carry on with my day. Way less fuss.

I used to keep my hair short, like half way down my neck by my jaw, and always had to blow dry or put it in a bun, because of the same problem. Now that it's longer, I can leave it as is.

I will be that elder, with hair down to her bum when she unrolls her messy bun at the end of the day. And all of the men I speak to about this, think that is just dandy.


I have a few co workers who really do rock the short cuts-but they spend a lot of time styling thier hair and I cannot be bothered to have to do that every day. (I also dont want to use all of that product needed to defy gravity) These women are HOT, dress very stylishly, have excellent figures and skin- and I think they would look gorgeous even if they were bald. They just have these angel faces that cannot look bad in anything. (I want to hate them, but they are too nice...lol

I see these ladies in the bus, they look like a million bucks with their voluminously short hair, like a Liz Taylor style.

vvvvv
The point was not the birth control, it was the hair loss and the fact that I was able to recover from using these products.

Your navy glasses prevent birth? can I see them? post a picture or something man. lol

 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 3/30/2014
Msg: 120
Are Looks so important???
Posted: 5/28/2014 10:08:36 AM
I don't have to worry about switching birth control pills but thanks for the advice:)

I've got a nerdy pair of glasses from my Navy days that never fail to prevent birth...
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 121
Are Looks so important???
Posted: 5/31/2014 9:02:12 AM

Looks ( among other things ) are important for dating. A woman doesn't have to look like a super model. LOL. But there should be at least some physical attraction.


I will also add looks ( photos ) are very important for online dating in particular. On another dating site, I was getting emails or winks from just 1-2 women per week. When I added new and better photos, I was getting emails or winks from 4-5 women per day. Eventually the rate decreased, but I was still getting emails or winks from 4 -5 women a week. When I had removed my profile.
 DaveBackPool100
Joined: 8/4/2017
Msg: 122
Are Looks so important???
Posted: 9/23/2017 7:40:42 AM
Are your looks a factor in getting women? Definitely.

To simplify things, you can call them all game but they break down into these rough categories.

1. Looks/height
2. Wealth/status
3. "Game," in the traditional sense

If you have an abundance of all three, you’re a Jedi and you will kill it with women and struggle to keep your balls full enough for the next chick in line. If you fit the girls profile on the 1-3 items above, you don't need any game. Just don't set off her "creeper" alarm and the rest takes care of itself.

Most of us have those bars at the different levels and work to get them as high as possible.

To break that down even further women rate men's appearance as follows:

1.) Facial looks (how handsome are you)

2.) Height

3.) Build (muscular physique)

4.) Style (how well dressed are you)

You should strive to max out in every category (except for height, which you can't do anything about other than "lifts)

And here's the thing - Looks matter EVEN MORE in dating/sexual markets that are stacked the worst against men, where female hypergamy is prevalent, and women have a huge pool of men to choose from.

Welcome to POF

Lot's of horny, thristy men, all trying to holler and compete for the same pool of women.

In this situation women are more picky. more selective and more judgmental, which in a way makes women more like men when it comes to their dating and sexual preferances, seeking to bang the "hottest" guys they can.

I will also agree that there are some women who through their "female" game will disqualify very handsome men for relationships (because they know there will be a high chance of infidelity), but at the same time will happily ride the "alpha c*ck carousel", while dating a less attractive guy who will really cherish them and put them on the pedestal.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 123
Are Looks so important???
Posted: 9/23/2017 5:50:34 PM
Dating has an end goal. Otherwise, its friendship. do people want to touch a naked body they aren't interested in touching? The question almost answers itself, unless they have some issue or they're drunk. Good looks are just a foot in the door, but as anyone selling anything can tell you, its far better to be in a position that is your's to lose...than to be a in position where you have to fight to gain every advantage. Its easier to not screw up, than it is to work to succeed.

yes, there are times when both men and women decide to give a friend a chance at the bedroom...and they can pull that decision at any time, too.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 124
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Are Looks so important???
Posted: 9/26/2017 12:06:18 AM

1. Looks/height
2. Wealth/status
3. "Game," in the traditional sense

IMO, a tweaking would be more like:
1. Looks (which includes further details)
3. Your Game + Persona
4. Wealth + Social-Connection Adequacy

I purposely take out #2, because of the gap. Your Game & Persona are mixed together. Wealth isn't going to play a factor, outside small circles. It's really about being financially independent (not lacking in adequate finances), and also a lot of social connections & good reputation and the like (in a positive direction) enhances your rep and makes you more wanted (and gives you more opportunities, thus easier To climb the dating ladder.

1.) Facial looks (how handsome are you)

2.) Height

3.) Build (muscular physique)

4.) Style (how well dressed are you)

I pretty much agree, but here's my tweak on looks-breakdown for a guy:

1. Face
2. Build/In-Shape (which affects #1)
3. Height Adequacy (usually just relational)
4. Style Adequacy (more like hitting ideal par)

How well you're in shape almost always has an effect on your facial looks. If you're "fluffy", it's almost always going to negatively affect your facial value. Height is very important, but it's more of not being off-key on it. Otherwise, it doesn't play much a role for many. Like, be her height in her footwear if you're a noticeably Tall guy; otherwise, be at least taller than she in her footwear and not a noticeably short guy in the room. If so, the height factor plays very little role. It's conditional. Style adequacy... outside certain circles, if you're Par on clothing style in how it fits (many guys aren't), along with it resonating well with ya and up to date along with one's hairdo -- it carries very little benefit per mile after that for extra stuff.

In this situation women are more picky. more selective and more judgmental, which in a way makes women more like men when it comes to their dating and sexual preferances, seeking to bang the "hottest" guys they can.

I agree. Women are in the driver's seat and the situation puts them in taste testing mode VS how things role IRL.

I will also agree that there are some women who through their "female" game will disqualify very handsome men for relationships (because they know there will be a high chance of infidelity)

There are a few like that, but I think it's real small among gals who are attractive. But I have ran into one who was hot and like that. It's when they have serious trust issues with guys... and possibly have had bad results going for guys who are out of their league or don't get along with guys very well due to their attitude/persona, thus, a guy in their league will/has cheat... so the safe route is a guy who is/should be Appreciative to even be with her (and not compelled to cheat).

but at the same time will happily ride the "alpha c*ck carousel", while dating a less attractive guy who will really cherish them and put them on the pedestal.

That can happen, sure. Not so much when the gal's not great looking though. But the notably attractive gals who want a "5" of a guy to settle down with and do -- some can feel they purposely missed out and deserve a little taste of some higher-class in the looks dept.
 a88ie100
Joined: 8/26/2017
Msg: 125
Are Looks so important???
Posted: 9/27/2017 3:13:45 AM
I think if you fancy them then it doesnt matter, sometimes i have the most weirdest crushes. lol

Weirdest one atm Paul Hollywood lol
 BoardGamerGeek
Joined: 7/5/2015
Msg: 126
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Are Looks so important???
Posted: 11/5/2017 2:05:57 PM
Looks are SO important it's unbelievable. Mainly though if you're a bloke. Most woman look really nice and we're not fussy. But my god, woman won't give you the time of day if your fat % is over 15 and you're not essentially a Chris Hemsworth lookalike. But of course, they're too polite to tell you you're ugly or too fat, so they resort to the cliche "we didn't connect" or "didn't feel a spark" bullshit that they always do.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 127
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Are Looks so important???
Posted: 11/5/2017 6:06:37 PM

Looks are SO important it's unbelievable. Mainly though if you're a bloke. Most woman look really nice and we're not fussy. But my god, woman won't give you the time of day if your fat % is over 15 and you're not essentially a Chris Hemsworth lookalike.

It's pretty much the same IMO, among guys & gals. Certain guys & certain gals it can be more picky than others. If you're going up to a gal who is glitz & glamour, yeah, she's more apt to have higher tastes than what she's worth if she's not much more than a bit above average. Women will commonly say looks are more important to men, and there's some truth in that, but said/taken the wrong way much of the time. Guys have less other attributes to worry about, when it comes to the opp-sex... so the main ingredient in looks won't be overshadowed by other "run from it" stats.

A gal's going to be more concerned about how he makes a living -- a guy just cares that she can support herself enough that she's not living at her parents when she's past college age, and anything else is just a bonus. Guys & gals are going to have a lot of options/concerns about the other, but guys are going to have less deal-breakers for a relationship if her looks are good -- as opposed to the women, even though good looks that she can't so easily get Will make some things that are not Truly Definite deal breakers not a deal breaker. But women have things of concern that guys don't have about the opp-sex... but yes, it's Still Yuge for women. Height, shoulders, facial attractiveness & type, in-shapeness, and fashion-looks play the biggest role. But for more than a roll in the hey-hey-hey (IF she'd be up for it at the time) -- they have a more concerning details, hence the faux saying that looks don't mean that much for women.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 128
Are Looks so important???
Posted: 11/7/2017 5:56:17 AM
"most women look really nice"

>>>probably b/c they put some effort and money and time into it...while we put on a T shirt and jeans and a winning smile. If a woman puts effort into her looks...why shouldn't she expect the same sign of respect (ie, your effort) from you? a lady who sweats at the gym to beat back age and time, I can understand why she wants a partner who understands, appreciates, and most importantly, engages in the same amount of effort.

of course, there are the ladies who "look really nice" simply by wearing something to show off their b00bs. We men don't really have a body part that just needs to be put on display to get the gals a-running our way :)
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 129
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Are Looks so important???
Posted: 11/7/2017 8:08:04 AM
~Eye of the beholder~
Is very true.
I have a friend, sad to say she is not very attractive 3-
The man that fell in love with her is a 10+

I have always been attracted to the long-haired biker type.
A few year ago I fell for a man that was "not
my type" some would say not very attractive.
He melted my heart...broke it too but worth it!

Sooooo....in my opinion we can go both ways.
The heart can take control where the head is usually in control.
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 130
Are Looks so important???
Posted: 11/7/2017 9:23:50 AM
Of course, they are important. Who would be dumb enough to argue otherwise? (well, other than a forum contrarian) However, you better carry yourself well, have the right attitude and know how to be fun or their "importance" will greatly diminish.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 131
Are Looks so important???
Posted: 11/7/2017 10:11:19 AM
"I have a friend who isn't attractive, but her partner is"

>>>it reminds of the last time we discussed looks, and a female poster (can't remember who) commented that the woman George Clooney took for a wife, wasn't "all that". But someone pointed out, the ladies he had dated until that point...sure were. My good looking best friend had been w/ 40+ good lookin' dudes before she decided to stop with the players and settle for someone she thought was plain..and turned out to be just as much a narcisstic player. Turns out she was after personality and looks (since she had the looks to attract a hot guy). I've known a few people with a long history of partners under their belt (pun intended), decide that on the next time around, they were going to try a partner not like the others...since the others were the reason they were single now. i'll take a guess other people make this conclusion, consciously or subconsciously, and sometimes we come by and think that's how its been the whole time.

Looks are the proverbial foot in the door, but if we want more than a one night stand, we want to date...and we want to date someone who doesn't make us feel uncomfortable about ourselves. I've known sex-positive female friends who confessed they had their eye on a guy in our group, but couldn't trust him to not shoot his mouth off about them dating, and so they even tho they were getting an all-clear sign from him, they weren't going to become the "talk of the town" just to get a little.
 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 132
Are Looks so important???
Posted: 11/7/2017 10:45:54 AM

of course, there are the ladies who "look really nice" simply by wearing something to show off their b00bs. We men don't really have a body part that just needs to be put on display to get the gals a-running our way :)


Not true. I've known of women who are very attracted to men with a good head of hair. :)
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 133
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Are Looks so important???
Posted: 11/7/2017 11:48:44 AM
^^^ Long hair melts me every time
 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 134
Are Looks so important???
Posted: 11/7/2017 12:34:22 PM
^^^^ With me, it depends on how the long hair is styled. I've never been a fan of long layered shag styles or mullets.

Getting back to the subject of general attractiveness, I sometimes see men's profiles where they describe themselves as being "reasonably attractive". That always cracks me up.

What is "reasonably attractive", as opposed to "unreasonably attractive"? And if I don't find the man attractive, does that mean I'm being unreasonable?
 butheremails
Joined: 11/1/2017
Msg: 135
Are Looks so important???
Posted: 11/7/2017 1:34:51 PM

Are Looks so important???


Yes and No.

Yes, in the sense that they are one of the criteria we use to select a mate.

No, in the sense that we have no choice in what we find attractive.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 136
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Are Looks so important???
Posted: 11/7/2017 4:29:55 PM

What is "reasonably attractive", as opposed to "unreasonably attractive"? And if I don't find the man attractive, does that mean I'm being unreasonable?


Not really. You're being honest. Besides, I'm sure that many have said that you are attractive. You know where you stand. Some do not know where they fit into the equation of attractive/not. So you get that sort of nasty job of pointing out who goes where. I know you didn't ask for that job, but you got it.

I'm on the opposite side of that. I thought I might be reasonably attractive. Instead, I had to learn that I'm exceptionally nasty looking. Not what I wanted to know, but I excepted it. I still haven't bought into the idea of tall men having some sort advantage in dating. That's entirely possible. (Or it just adds an extra little insult to what I'm already aware of)

Looking at this objectively, I think I'd rather not have to be judge and jury in the looks department. No one would get mad at me. Weekends are for relaxing. I can get things done and not have to worry about making appearances at social events. I don't have to make plans and attempt to entertain anyone. Drama get to be someone else's issue.
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 137
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Are Looks so important???
Posted: 11/7/2017 4:44:45 PM

I still haven't bought into the idea of tall men having some sort advantage in dating.


Would it help if I gave you a 20% discount at the register?

I have seen plenty of women state in their profiles that they are looking for the proverbial "tall, dark, and handsome."

After reading literally thousands of women's profiles over the years, I have yet to see anyone state that they are seeking "SHORT, dark, and handsome."

Even the few women who explicitly stated that they were actually looking for someone under 6 feet tall (but not necessarily SHORT), those women were very short themselves, like around 5 feet tall.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 138
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Are Looks so important???
Posted: 11/7/2017 5:02:14 PM
Then tall is only part of it. I counteract tall, with a lot of other unsuitable aspects. One plus doesn't offset a bunch of minuses.

That 20% discount hasn't showed up on my receipt. I think the sales tax has offset it.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 139
Are Looks so important???
Posted: 11/7/2017 8:25:44 PM
well, i'll sit corrected--the only dudes I knew with long hair getting any play, were in good shape--and so was the hair. It was long and straight, not shaggy. As for "reasonably attractive", I suspect that's the guy who isn't sure just how attractive he is. He gets some attention, but not from the women he really wants in bed. They are in that middle territory, like say a seven out of a 1-10 range if 5 is average looking. Like the guy who makes $80K a year and describes himself as "relatively rich".
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 140
Are Looks so important???
Posted: 11/7/2017 11:57:38 PM
If a guy is going to have long hair, it also helps to have some size, poise, and not dress like a f*cking slob. Otherwise, they will just look like a dirty hippy, which I have always tried to avoid.
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