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 head.cloud123
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 80
Should foreplay be equal or mostly about her?Page 2 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)



There should be more focus by us men on the woman because women have more erogenous zones that we do.

"Women don't just like a tingle," a phrase given to me by a past lover. This is very true. When (as a man) you offer someone an explosive experience full of deep touches, massaging and well-placed kisses, her comfort is maximized and I am rewarded with a fulfilled response.

Any man can touch a woman's breasts, buttocks, and vagina. But, there are erogenous zones along her ribs, armpits, hips...so many places. The back of a woman's thighs will get her to scream if we'd kiss her there, not just enjoy cunnilungus. Massaging a woman's foot can cause one of the greatest orgasms.

Shock and awe, a woman deserves that.


Um what?

Any zone can be an erogenous zone on a man or woman.

It seems women enjoy getting pleased and men enjoy pleasing.

I wonder if the focus has ever been MORE on the man?
 StevieCashmere
Joined: 4/22/2009
Msg: 83
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History
Should foreplay be equal or mostly about her?
Posted: 7/15/2009 1:35:15 AM
Aim for the stage in your relationship when foreplay dissolves into Intimacey where theres no 'start' & no 'end'
~sc~
 head.cloud123
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 89
Should foreplay be equal or mostly about her?
Posted: 7/15/2009 12:30:43 PM


The only rule I follow is girls first. It should always be that way, unless the action has been dictated another way, per het direction. I tend to take a "her turn" then "my turn" approach.


What type of STUPID BULLSHIT is this? Just another man who thinks women deserve more?



I'm saddened by a lot of the replies on this thread. No wonder so many people have so many negative things to say about sex... Foreplay shouldn't be about a score card. It should be about enjoying each other, and wanting a great experience for both of you. Sometimes it's about helping the guy forget he's had a crap day... and other times it may be about helping the woman forget about a crap day.. otherwise, ideally..it's about mutual pleasure and enjoyment. I wouldn't want to be with a man that didn't enjoy being on the receiving end of foreplay, and I wouldn't enjoy being with a lover that felt things should be so one-sided.



Shock and awe, a woman deserves that.


So does any man I'm with...


Good post! Do you also believe its women first though like the guy above you? Do you generally give as much as you take?





Women Become Sexually Aroused as Quickly as Men
in: Health & Fitness

Women may have a reputation for demanding lengthy foreplay, but they become sexually aroused as quickly as men, according to a new study that used thermal imaging to measure increased blood flow to genital regions.
While watching pornography, both sexes reach peak arousal within 10 minutes, on average, researchers report.

Earlier attempts to record sexual arousal have involved invasive probes and electrodes, according to Tuuli Kukkonen, who helped conduct the study led by Irv Binik at McGill University Health Centre in Montreal, Canada.

For women participating in previous studies, this sometimes meant the use of an uncomfortable probe similar to a tampon, inserted into the vagina.

Such invasive methods “made studying sexual arousal very difficult” and comparing sexual response between men and women even more challenging, says Kukkonen, as the measurement techniques differed between the sexes.

For this reason, Kukkonen and her colleagues used thermal imaging to record raised temperatures in subjects’ genital areas. The thermal imaging camera can measure temperature changes from a distance and relay the information to a computer for analysis.

More heat indicates greater blood flow to the genital area, a tell-tale sign of sexual arousal. Kukkonen says that modern thermal imaging technology is much more sophisticated than earlier versions, and can now accurately measure temperature changes of 0.001°C within a few square millimetres.

In the new study, 28 men and 30 women first watched a video of the Canadian countryside in a room on their own, so that researchers could establish each individual’s baseline temperatures.

Subjects were naked from the waist down and positioned themselves such that their genital area was exposed and readable by the thermal imaging device. The participants next watched another video with the same subject matter, or one featuring pornography, horror or comedic clips from the Best Bits of Mr Bean.

The computer only registered a spike in genital temperatures while subjects watched pornography, and not the other films. In those viewing porn, these temperatures increased by about 2°C, on average.

Moreover, men reached peak sexual arousal in 665 seconds – about 10 minutes – while women arrived at maximal arousal in 743 seconds. The difference between the times was not statistically significant, the researchers point out.

The findings, which were presented on 30 September at the Canadian Sex Research Forum conference in Ottawa, go against the common assumption that women take longer to become aroused, says Kukkonen.

She adds that the more accurate thermal imaging technology now available may hold promise as a diagnostic tool for sexual dysfunction in both sexes.


http://www.impactlab.com/2006/10/02/women-become-sexually-aroused-as-quickly-as-men/



Women Get Horny Just as Quickly As Men
By Digital Journal Staff.
Published Oct 3, 2006 by ■ Digital Journal Staff - 37 votes, 28 comments

Digital Journal — Remember the supposed truism about women taking longer to be aroused? It’s all hogwash, according to a new Canadian study.
Women become sexually stimulated as quickly as men, even if the long-standing theory says the opposite. In a study at the McGill University Health Centre in Montreal, researchers found that both male and female participants reached peak arousal within 10 minutes of watching pornography.
The innovative study used thermal imaging to detect blood flow to the genitals. Previous studies used probing instruments, like an invasive tampon-like tool inserted into vaginas. But McGill’s thermal imaging camera measures temperature changes in certain body parts and relays that information to a computer for analysis.
How does this scientific discovery affect us? Couples need not follow the blind assumption that women take longer to be aroused and require more foreplay. Men should realize the right kind of sexual stimulation will excite women, and they can no longer rely on an old theory for an unsatisfied partner.
Women can take this study to heart by opening their minds to various stimuli, such as pornography. While it’s mainly regarded as a perversion (and a common Internet pastime), pornography has been proven to stimulate the female libido very quickly, proving how this visual excitement can titillate the most rigid of mentalities.


http://www.digitaljournal.com/article/38179
 shadowknyght
Joined: 5/2/2006
Msg: 90
Should foreplay be equal or mostly about her?
Posted: 7/15/2009 5:17:21 PM
Mostly about her. I personally don't need foreplay. It can be fun and what not, but it's not a necessity. Anyways, if it starts being about me, then the sex is probably going to last shorter than if it's about her.
 head.cloud123
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 96
Should foreplay be equal or mostly about her?
Posted: 7/15/2009 7:17:32 PM



It can be 50/50, but it's more like 80/20 (imo). For a woman, her pleasure should and ought to be achieved, in order for the whole experience to be "whole".


Is this the attitude of new age men? All about the woman. As if women are somehow sexually superior?





If you get the guy off first, round two generally lasts much longer....
As far as giving as much as I take, sometimes I give more... sometimes I take more.. it's not a set formula, it's all about what feels great for both of us at any given time.


So the guy first then? How nice of you. This is a good attitude. I hate the attitude displayed above though.
 bluesunshine_33
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 98
Should foreplay be equal or mostly about her?
Posted: 7/15/2009 7:33:04 PM
Foreplay is just FUN! I dunno.... has less to do with preparation and more to do with exploration. :)
 MsCharlotte2U
Joined: 2/25/2007
Msg: 99
Should foreplay be equal or mostly about her?
Posted: 7/15/2009 8:10:31 PM
It should be 50/50 but I lost somewhere I think.
 head.cloud123
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 100
Should foreplay be equal or mostly about her?
Posted: 7/15/2009 8:10:42 PM


It's not about sexual superiority. It's about understanding that a woman is not a machine...that she's not just a light switch. that you can flick on and off. Women deserve appreciation all over their bodies..from hair to mind, from back to breasts, from toenails to vagina. You just can't grab a woman and just go. Even a quickie involves some measure of foreplay

Instead of you jumping on every comment I make on this topic, try conversing with one and stop being selfish.


As compared to men who don't derve just as much appreciation all over their bodies?
Once again it takes a man and woman a similar amount of time to be aroused. And a man can getting an erection does not mean he is aroused considering friction can arouse a man.
I'd like to have a woman put as much effort into my body as I would put into hers.

Why does it seem like the women are the one saying it should be equal and the men who are saying it should be all about her?

Shows you how feminine and submissive men have become. Men today sound like women prior to sexual liberation. its not about me , its about her. as long as she gets off. this is what 1950's women used to say. how sad.
 windloverr
Joined: 2/29/2008
Msg: 101
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Should foreplay be equal or mostly about her?
Posted: 7/15/2009 8:44:06 PM

head.cloudWhy does it seem like the women are the one saying it should be equal and the men who are saying it should be all about her?

Shows you how feminine and submissive men have become.
ROFLMAO Aren't we getting a bit p1ssy? I don't know about YOU; but when I'm taking charge in foreplay, I'm doing exactly that, taking charge. I GET OFF on giving pleasure, and giving orgasms; and if I restrain my lover's hands so she can't touch me, and spend 30-45min to an hour licking, nibbling, kissing and blowing by way from the bottom of her feet to the top of her head and back, in order to make her absolutely crazy wanting me, it IS NOT because I am feminine or submissive. Yes, I absolutely NEED/DESIRE to be "motivated" from time to time, once I am, I like to take charge; although, there ARE times when I like to be able to lay back and be "attended to." However, the vast majority of the time, foreplay is much much much more about her. I find it to be a front end investment; the more I give her during foreplay, the more she gives me later...after I'm worn out, LOL.
 edster1224
Joined: 2/27/2008
Msg: 104
Should foreplay be equal or mostly about her?
Posted: 7/15/2009 10:15:56 PM
In my sex life, there's usually a lot more time spent on the woman than on me. A few times I've even been told that half an hour of eating her out isn't enough. She still wants more. I prefer to have some time spent on me, like fifteen minutes or so. If I don't get any then it kind of bumbs me out.

Ed
 Einstein09
Joined: 7/12/2009
Msg: 105
Should foreplay be equal or mostly about her?
Posted: 7/15/2009 10:21:42 PM
focus on the woman until she is so hot she can hardly control herself.... then she'll take care of the guy. Guys need to have patience at first and know there will be a reward later.
 HazelRose
Joined: 6/15/2009
Msg: 107
Should foreplay be equal or mostly about her?
Posted: 7/16/2009 5:45:16 AM
I feel that it should be equal.
 head.cloud123
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 109
Should foreplay be equal or mostly about her?
Posted: 7/16/2009 7:53:52 AM

^^Hazelrose, I agree that it SHOULD be equal. But, it can't be equal; because our bodies aren't equal.


Well if there are so many submissive men on this thread I am sure there are some submissive women who like to give rather than take.
 head.cloud123
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 115
Should foreplay be equal or mostly about her?
Posted: 7/16/2009 2:52:53 PM


Men do deserve the opportunity to achieve a wonderful sexual experience as well. But, we men are made differently (I hate repeating myself..lol). We have differing modes of desire, but those modes do not equate to a woman's (just a fact).


Someone already answered this.
Besides I already posted links to studies which shows women get aroused as quickly as men.



How does being hormonally different and emotionally different have to do with foreplay?Women have small amounts of testosterone than men and men have small amounts of estrogen. what is your point?

The degree of emotions in people depend on the people themselves. Some have a heightened level when it comes to showing affection and some are emotionally detached. I don't think this has anything to do with foreplay unless you have two people on opposite sides (as in the sentence before this one) in which case would be two people who are not compatible. Then it is pointless. One will not respond to the other on the level of foreplay because only one has the imagination and drive to take foreplay for what it is meant.

If a woman cares that much about pleasing the man that she is with, then she will take as much time with foreplay and please her mate just as much as he will with her.



There's not much point in arguing

The sexually submissive men will give more than they take.
Sexually submissive women will be with men who take more or as much as they give.

As long as submissive men are not dating submissive women there should be no problem.

And as someone pointed out if the man finishes first during foreplay he will last longer during intercourse.
 head.cloud123
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 116
Should foreplay be equal or mostly about her?
Posted: 7/16/2009 2:54:34 PM
It also seems men spend more time giving women oral sex than vice versa. Though there is nothing wrong with a dominant woman so who cares.
 head.cloud123
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 119
Should foreplay be equal or mostly about her?
Posted: 7/17/2009 5:11:21 AM




Besides I already posted links to studies which shows women get aroused as quickly as men.


Studies?? Wtf??

I'm sorry...

Don't you have a male body? Don't I?? Can't you look and see for yourself that you ar


Arousal is different from peak arousal (which those studies measured). No reason for a woman to put in less unless she is lazy.
 HazelRose
Joined: 6/15/2009
Msg: 121
Should foreplay be equal or mostly about her?
Posted: 7/18/2009 3:02:31 AM
LOL At least both men and women have gonads! The one constant in our differing bodies.

Men and women both want to be touched, some tasted, some kissed, some hard and others soft. Many want that stare where you feel like the other person is going to devour you, and all want that rapture.

Men and women both can sing that song of difference until they are blue in the face. It does not change the fact that both men and women want to be loved, touched beyond their senses, and being aroused like nothing in heaven or hell can match.

When I care about a guy, he has nothing to worry about, and is thoroughly satisfied. I am about equality in a relationship, and there is nothing wrong with that bit.
 Sabrosura
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 124
Should foreplay be equal or mostly about her?
Posted: 8/10/2009 10:59:35 AM
It should be about BOTH parties! I've never "measured" the amount of time, but no doubt I want us both to have full enjoyment of the act............
 head.cloud123
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 128
Should foreplay be equal or mostly about her?
Posted: 8/15/2009 12:36:56 PM


Interesting Danz. I've done some massage/kiss/touches work along the ribs, butt, armpits, hips, legs, feet, arms, chest etc., and some men have really enjoyed it and their reactions were quite similar as to what women do (twitch twitch lol). But yes, I have not seen a man orgasm from this.

I wonder though if the whole idea that men are "supposed to last long" or that they have conditioned themselves to hold off to keep the feeling going causes men NOT to orgasm when performing certain types of foreplay? And I'm not speaking to the dry orgasm idea here either.


What do you mean? Wouldn't sex end if a man orgasmed during foreplay.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 130
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Should foreplay be equal or mostly about her?
Posted: 8/15/2009 3:30:00 PM
I gotta have my turn at licking and nibbling and touching and teasing too!
I want to get my man just as worked up as he gets me.....so every nerve ending in his body has become a erogenous zone and the slightest touch makes him shiver
IMO, great sex is when both partners are turned on.....by turning their partner on.
 head.cloud123
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 132
Should foreplay be equal or mostly about her?
Posted: 8/17/2009 8:13:36 PM

It's always been about his pleasure. Never anything for me.


Sarcasm?



Does sex "end" when someone orgasms? Pfft. Sex is not only about achieving orgasm, but you won't realize that until you do a bit more research and take an actual interest in all things sexual, but you may not reach that level until you get older either.

Look into Taoist teachings for example.


You're the one who said men don't orgasm from this. In general men probably can't let go the way women can either due to biology or mentality. In general women probably do give less than they take.
 head.cloud123
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 136
Should foreplay be equal or mostly about her?
Posted: 8/18/2009 5:36:43 AM

Well, assuming that you're in a monogamous relationship, there should be a dynamic mix. Sometimes all about him, other times equal, yet still other times about her.
In this way too, variety is the spice of life. Think about it, every day is hopefully different. Think about it, if a man comes home and had a rough day at work, wouldn't it be reasonable to indulge him more to relieve some tension.
Now, only do it if he's willing to do the same in return or have some other agreement.


Obviously you didn't read this.


Women need more time to warm up, we are more psychologically driven than just visual and initial stimulus that get men off. In fact because women are more complex and harder to bring to arousal you guys need to at least consider 50/60 LOL!
 head.cloud123
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 141
Should foreplay be equal or mostly about her?
Posted: 8/27/2009 9:12:47 AM

It should be 50/50 but it doesn't always work that way.

However, doesn't some of the excitement & pleasure come from knowing you are pleasing your partner?


Can it ever really be 50-50? Women can't really give men multiple orgasms, men can't really relax during sex or orgasm from even the slightest touch the way women can? The genders are different. Just this alone means the man should get a bit more foreplay as the woman will get more than enough during sex.
 krkrblk
Joined: 8/22/2009
Msg: 142
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Should foreplay be equal or mostly about her?
Posted: 8/27/2009 11:41:55 AM
definately its ALL about pleasing the women
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 146
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Should foreplay be equal or mostly about her?
Posted: 8/27/2009 7:59:55 PM
While I appreciate what the above men are saying.......
There are those of us women......that love to get our man as worked up as possible!
I don't want it to be "all about me".
Sure a hard dik is all that's required........but it's oh so much more fun to bring a man to that next level of readiness
I love looking my man dead in the eye and saying............."my turn"
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