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 lookin4one2
Joined: 11/30/2008
Msg: 104
You are everything I ever wanted in a woman...Page 3 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
So, widowedmom - don't s'pose you've got a single twin sister down here in upsidedownland???????
 WanderingRain
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 105
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You are everything I ever wanted in a woman...
Posted: 3/29/2009 6:07:55 PM
Rooting for your success, Widowed. :)
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 106
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You are everything I ever wanted in a woman...
Posted: 3/29/2009 6:36:23 PM
...patiently waiting for details of today's date!!

I'm glad for ya g/f.....I know it was tough to break free of the outside "security blankets"......but I think you did the right thing
 gracengracie
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 109
You are everything I ever wanted in a woman...
Posted: 3/29/2009 8:16:54 PM
Well Widowmom,
So happy for you!
I love to see someone seems to be clearly going towards the direction of another success story. Sometimes slowly but surely is better. I know the feeling of excitement you must feel and that makes it hard for us women to slow down....but a relationship is about compromising and the fact you took so many steps and made adjustments clearly showed him your good will put into this quest for happiness.

I love people like you that ask and really think through the many responses/ input. I see in the POF forum a big part of the value of this site.

Today I was feeling overly blue and started a thread for my own "wonder/doubt". I got the most amazing responses...I can just say tonight I can sleep with a big mile on my face. I had been so wrong all along. Having unbiased opinions does help us a great deal if we choose to listen. You did and I did....I guess we are both happier than when we started our threads.

Please keep us posted of all yr little success steps in this relationship that is starting to bloom.

G.
 gracengracie
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 114
You are everything I ever wanted in a woman...
Posted: 3/30/2009 3:02:05 PM
Dear Widowmom...
I'm so in love with your story...its like seeing a little rose plant grow.!!! enjoy your updates, they give sunshine to my otherwise gray days!
 WhiteTigersLair
Joined: 3/27/2009
Msg: 118
You are everything I ever wanted in a woman...
Posted: 3/31/2009 12:16:40 PM
LOL from a guy's perspective, I'd say you are one of many he is seeing. There is NO such thing as a woman with everything a guy has ever wanted in her. All relationships involve compromise. For a guy to say, "Oh sugah baby, honey snookums, you're everything I've ever wanted," and to go days without any contact .. can you spell p...l...a...y...e...r?
 gracengracie
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 121
You are everything I ever wanted in a woman...
Posted: 4/1/2009 4:35:48 AM
Dear OP,
Good for you!!! Hope for all of us that love does exist and the feeling of having it rocks!
It is all very clear that we need to compromise, make adjustments and relax to enjoy the love.
Even your guy has reacted to your good handling of this new relationship. Its obvious he is relaxed and free to express as he feels for you.

Continue to share, its so uplifting, at least for me.

G.
 gracengracie
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 122
You are everything I ever wanted in a woman...
Posted: 4/1/2009 4:40:08 AM
WhiteTiger,
Clearly, you haven't followed the thread and the updates.
That was OP's initial post....and BTW for once she was the one multi-dating as they were not exclusive just jet.
Things have changed quite a bit since then and all is going well, so you might want to update yrself.
 dave1234
Joined: 11/7/2004
Msg: 124
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You are everything I ever wanted in a woman...
Posted: 4/1/2009 7:31:33 PM
^^^^^^^^^^
Well, that fills in the picture nicely.

You daughter is comfortable with him and his son is comfortable with you....so far. The question is, "Is your daughter and his son around the same age?"

See where I'm going with this?
 MelloDLyn
Joined: 10/25/2004
Msg: 130
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You are everything I ever wanted in a woman...
Posted: 4/4/2009 9:37:01 AM
I hear that all the time and then they disappear. I know I didn't do anything and know everything is ok at the time. When I talked to other men they say they just have issues or are married or only call when they have nothing to do and want to go out or talk. I thought they were scared cause that is what they tell me but I don't believe it. I think all the available men seem to lie to some extent. I wish I could find one that I'm attracted to that don't. I will not date someone that acts like this. It is a red flag! Run! They are just playin u! He has no respect for u. No man is better than one that treats u like this!
 forum101
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 131
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You are everything I ever wanted in a woman...
Posted: 4/4/2009 10:06:29 AM
Come on people. Read the posts. This has been an ongoing saga. We are almost to the "happily ever after" part. Please, keep up.
 forum101
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 132
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You are everything I ever wanted in a woman...
Posted: 4/4/2009 10:11:24 AM
Lets go through and review what it took for OP to get to this point. In a nutshell,
1. Honesty
2. Communication
3. Respecting others

what a concept. that might actually work for every relationship
 forum101
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 133
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You are everything I ever wanted in a woman...
Posted: 4/4/2009 11:42:03 AM
He didnt want to have to compete with all those other guys. And rightly so.

How much time does it take, to date multiple guys? daggone, I'm 48, work fulltime with kids at home. I cant be going out 3 or 4 times a week. Wouldnt you get the names confused? How could it not be totally exhausting? I cant find one decent guy to date, let alone multiple guys. Unless I was just using them for dinner, with no strings, and I cant do that, date someone I know I have no future with. one at a time, that's me.
 Arabianangel
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 135
You are everything I ever wanted in a woman...
Posted: 4/4/2009 4:15:02 PM
Widowmom..Thank you for coming back and giving us an update, funny enough I was thinking about your situation only the other day, and wondered how it was all going for you...I am truly happy for the both of you, and you've proven beyond any doubt that showing vulnerability is not a weakness but more so a strength that can and has bonded two people together...all the best.
 dave1234
Joined: 11/7/2004
Msg: 139
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You are everything I ever wanted in a woman...
Posted: 4/5/2009 6:35:29 AM
(Msg 177) I would reccommend you read - if you haven't, "Mars and Venus on a date". John Gray says men do this when they are scared. He says men are like rubber bands. When they pull away - let them. If you don't chase them or call etc. they will come back.


That sounds like weird advice. What is the man supposedly scared of?

As for not calling that's another recipe for failure. Considering women, generally, have more options (suitors) than men it is up to the woman to make clear her choice.

The old idea a man will pursue a women if he really likes her no longer holds true if one is seeking a LTR. The reason being in the old days when a man "won" a woman he kept her. Society being what it was a woman had little choice but to stay with the man so the man actually did "win" her. She was his gal. She wouldn't leave him because she had nowhere to go. No job. No means of self-support.

In other words she threw all her eggs in his basket. By being with him she was committing herself to him for life. That being the case a man put his "all" into winning her because he knew once he won her he would have her for the rest of his life.

Today is a very different scenario. There is no "winning" a woman. While the man may be successful in having a relationship with her the fact she is with him does not mean she has made the same commitment as a woman, say, 50 years ago would have made.

The point being the man knows there is little "penalty" should the woman break the commitment meaning the commitment is not as secure/solid as one made in the past. The man, knowing that, adjusts accordingly.

That results in players being the ones usually coming across as offering their "all". They know there is no permanence/solidity in relationships today, compared to what used to be, so their attentiveness/chasing/charming actions are directed to the short term benefit. Put another way they really don't care if the woman is head over heels in love with them because it's only a temporary arrangement anyway. The reward for their pursuit will be received sooner rather than later.

To sum up the man interested in a LTR will require assurances/feedback from the woman before giving his "all" as it's given with the expectation a LTR will result. When a man gives what is perceived to be his "all" before receiving assurances/feedback it means his priority is not a LTR.

The strange thing is the number of women who confuse those two things. The "gung-ho" guy, the one in hot pursuit not only not having received appropriate feedback but seemingly oblivious to the lady's indifference is perceived by the lady as a admirable guy.

"He must love me. He won't give up even when I do something to discourage him."

Of course the player won't give up. He doesn't care if you truly love him or just like him. He wants to win you for the night, not for the rest of his life.

I'd take those dating books with a large dose of salts. The man interested in a LTR wants to be sure the woman is sure. It's a different ball game today.

EDIT: Great post, Widowedmom! ^^^^^^
 sammylg
Joined: 12/20/2006
Msg: 140
You are everything I ever wanted in a woman...
Posted: 4/5/2009 7:22:46 AM
"Well, if this is all about sex, the poor guy is pretty desperate. When I count the hours this man has spent in getting to know me, with out my "putting out" the return on his investment of time has been very low."

Not if he is working several women at the same time.
 msbstn08
Joined: 5/3/2008
Msg: 146
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You are everything I ever wanted in a woman...
Posted: 4/7/2009 9:27:59 PM
yeah just recently met one of those myself...i believe he's called a "player" ..i gave him my heart and soul..havent heard from him in over 2 weeks...be careful..."they're out there"...dont mean to sound negative, but unfortunately,we as women are more pullled into the emotional thing than they are....its just a fact...Good luck...
 La Gioconda
Joined: 6/27/2008
Msg: 150
You are everything I ever wanted in a woman...
Posted: 4/11/2009 12:05:14 AM
OP, just a hint ... if you don't want to be contacted, you can still keep same profile, etc....write on forums, but my suggestions, is to 'hide it' and you can do this in 'edit mode'. If you want to be seen again, then you just 'unhide' yourself. I agree with one of the poster, that you should keep some things private, no need to share all the details what you are doing, and convince anyone what and how... you are grown up girl. I am glad to hear you are figuring thing out. Be well and happy! La Gioconda
 mthomjmark
Joined: 2/27/2008
Msg: 151
You are everything I ever wanted in a woman...
Posted: 4/11/2009 12:21:10 AM

A man I am dating told me the other day, "I want to see you, I want to spend time with you, you are everything I have ever wanted in a woman." At times he draws very close, calling every day, seeing me, getting emotionally close, and then without notice days of silence.

Men what is this yo yo treatment all about? I feel like he pulls me close, then runs away. We talked online for four months before we even had our first date, and have had six dates in seven weekends. Is this man full of it, or just scared?

Women, have you seen this behavior in men you date? How did you handle it?


;LOL; it's called being played; I just am amazed that women are shocked that when a guy says something they believe it; its beyond me.

look at his actions not his words; being so naive is going to get you hurt by him.
 Kncl
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 152
You are everything I ever wanted in a woman...
Posted: 4/11/2009 12:24:33 AM
I have six brothers, and I am un/fortunate to be smack dab in the middle.
Honestly depending on the guys personality he might honestly just be very busy. Not all guys are able to juggle things. Have you though of asking him in a casual conversation about it? I would possibly look at his answer and how he answered versus assuming all guys have the same personality.
 forum101
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 160
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You are everything I ever wanted in a woman...
Posted: 4/11/2009 9:29:39 PM
They did discuss it, read a few pages back. She explained her fears, and he spoke of his. We are past that point people.
 dave1234
Joined: 11/7/2004
Msg: 166
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You are everything I ever wanted in a woman...
Posted: 4/17/2009 3:33:10 PM

(Msg 210) In the process of writing my book, I always have peeps asking me why why why? So I asked her after both of us being on/off the dating sites for 10 yrs., communicating w/lots and lots of people....then "why" did we finally find "it" in each other? Her answer was simple..."chemistry"...period! Dam*, I didn't wanna hear that - what do I tell people, just do it over & over & over again 'til you get lucky enough to find the dreaded "C" word?


That's exactly how to do it.

I met my partner after a few phone calls over a period of a week. It was through a phone dating service so we hadn't even seen a photo of each other. We met in a park at 11 am and parted company 8 hours later! Within six months we had purchased a home and were living together. That was almost 13 years ago and today we're married.

I should add our differences included native language, religion, education, culture and income along with a nine year age difference.

Prior to meeting my partner I probably met somewhere in the area of 25 people. I recall meeting six people in one five day period, two on a Saturday. It was necessary to meet as we were not able to exchange photos at that time.

The meetings were either for coffee or a drink after work. Out of the 25 or so meetings the only one that was a disaster was a dinner date. I quickly learned my lesson.
 p3hndrx
Joined: 3/26/2006
Msg: 172
You are everything I ever wanted in a woman...
Posted: 6/6/2009 1:41:21 AM
OP, if you are everything that a guy wants in a woman, then you are either a spectacular woman ( :p) or he is just saying that to get an emotional response out of ya.

Maybe he does feel strongly for you. This can be confusing for some guys...
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