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 dave1234
Joined: 11/7/2004
Msg: 176
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You are everything I ever wanted in a woman...Page 4 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)

(Msg 218) It is now four months since our first date. (We had chatted online, emailed, and talked on the phone four months before he asked me out the first time.)
So overall it has been eight months since our first contact with each other.


Sooo, when's the wedding?

OK, what plans have been laid? Living together? Who is moving where? Do you watch The Brady Bunch reruns?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mkeGOH5vy7I

Inquiring minds want to know.
 Boots168
Joined: 3/22/2009
Msg: 177
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You are everything I ever wanted in a woman...
Posted: 6/6/2009 9:41:21 PM
A man I am dating told me the other day, "I want to see you, I want to spend time with you, you are everything I have ever wanted in a woman." At times he draws very close, calling every day, seeing me, getting emotionally close, and then without notice days of silence.

Men know at their very young age that most of us women are suckers for smooth talking and romancing, it's actually equivalent to their saying 'open sesame'. You know how things go once the doors are open for some of these talkers.

Action speaks volume and time is a good acid test for many things which seem to be unclear at certain point of time. Don't listen with just your ears, learn to engage your eyes and heart as well.
 NotInnocent
Joined: 9/7/2007
Msg: 182
You are everything I ever wanted in a woman...
Posted: 6/11/2009 1:14:28 PM
Maybe he is just busy? Generally speaking men aren't great at multi taking. Deal with a girlfriend when work is exploding in their face?? Good luck! I know whenever a guy I'm dating gets busy at work I get pushed to the back burner. I call tell him I don't like it and he will have to make it up to me later. Men normally value their position in the workforce. As a woman we have to respect this and give him his space. Of course don't' be totally naive. If he won't talk to you or tell you what he's doing you might have an entirely different issue. Just let him have his space when he needs it, but listen to him, what he says and his actions toward you. One of the biggest mistakes woman make is we don't listen to the guy. Men will normally tell us what to expect from them, we just choose not to hear it.
 hungry_joe
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 184
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You are everything I ever wanted in a woman...
Posted: 6/11/2009 4:10:21 PM
Married maybe? Something is wrong if he digs you that much.
 JustMary65
Joined: 5/26/2008
Msg: 189
You are everything I ever wanted in a woman...
Posted: 2/6/2010 5:37:10 AM
Women, have you seen this behavior in men you date? How did you handle it?


Yes, I dealt with exactly the same scenario----but if I did to him what he did to me---even innocently---he'd be PISSED off. I have no idea why he did it...does it and acts like an a$$hat, but that is the biggest reason why I walked away. I can understand a person needing personal space, as I need it myself, but the silent treatment is annoying.

His words contradicted his actions all the time, but he wanted me to believe he was in love with me---I think it's just moronic head games I foolishly allowed for way to long. Forget getting a straight answer from the guys---I honestly believe some don't recognize their own behavior and certainly would never be frank enough to say why they really do anything they do.


EDIT: Seeing the OP has updated that she and he are still together---I'm happy for her if she's happy---but I can speak from experience when I say if he did it before this issue will rear it's ugly head again----but maybe they got past it---if so kudo's to em both.
 Love_To_Laugh2010
Joined: 2/2/2010
Msg: 191
You are everything I ever wanted in a woman...
Posted: 2/6/2010 8:20:20 PM
You are not going to want to hear this ...but if a man wants to be with you ..he WILL be....men are simple creatures....lol

Dont call him....back off from him....run away from him...if he comes after you then he is for real if not....well KEEP RUNNING!
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 192
You are everything I ever wanted in a woman...
Posted: 2/7/2010 12:35:19 AM
Nice to know the cut and runners have egg on their faces for once, lol! I'm a big fan of taking it slow, and believing in what the other is saying. . . . until and unless you have *very* good reason not to.

And Happy Anniversary!!


 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 196
You are everything I ever wanted in a woman...
Posted: 2/7/2010 5:43:21 PM
Boy, if there was ever a thread that proves that certain peeps (of both sexes) cannot sit still long enough to get the *whole picture* this is it. Also, that instead of reading what the OPie has actually said, just jump in with their own histories, and hence view of the situation which end up being totally irrelevant because they've ignored so much information which out there, in the open, and easily to hand. Kind of make ya kinda sad for the human race which contributes SO much to its own pain. . . .

Again: Congratulations, Widows, for using your own head and heart, and doing the backgrounding, and to you both for hanging in there.

 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 198
You are everything I ever wanted in a woman...
Posted: 12/18/2010 9:34:23 PM
Back when this thread was first posted many thought he was a player. Some were supportive and felt he was sincere. To those who gave me sound advice I thank you for helping me sort through some feelings of confusion, and guiding me to make the right move. I am very happy, and am here to testify that you can find love here on POF.


I never thought *he* was a player, WILA (formerly WD )... quite honestly, you were more of a 'player' than him, dating multiple guys (not calling you a player, more just 'uncommitted' really), and quite honestly (being a guy) that would have me 'keeping my distance/protecting myself' too. The old saying of "never make someone a priority who sees you as an option" kinda fits there - regardless of what was going on between you, having other guys on the side made him still an 'option'. I think you realized that early on, and the reality is you can't expect someone to "fully commit" to you, if you aren't willing to do the same with them, isn't it?

I think we all have a tendency to 'over-analyze' things sometimes, heck you see it here all the time on the forums... ... last woman I dated I talked to every night for 2-3 weeks straight, but then I was on-call that next week - I talked to her monday night, and then after I wound up getting called at like 2am, was up all night, plus my normal workday (so 2am-5pm), and honestly I basically made a sandwich for dinner, laid on the bed with the TV on - fully planning to call her - and fell sound asleep (and of course, woke up at like 4am ). Next night I called her and she admitted she had been 'worried I'd pulled a disappearing act' on her - one missed day , but I'd "broken my pattern". Y'know, stuff/life happens sometimes. Sometimes we're our own worst enemies?

Good to hear things are still going well.
 shakeitupbaby2012
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 199
You are everything I ever wanted in a woman...
Posted: 12/18/2010 10:18:13 PM
OP, this is great news! Well, you definitely have your answer ;)
He was slow to go in the beginning because he was being real.
All the best!
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 200
You are everything I ever wanted in a woman...
Posted: 1/31/2011 3:14:05 PM
OP- you set the tone of how you want communication to be in your relationship.

If I were ever in a relationship with a woman, ie, bf/gf thing and she did yoed after yoing- I'd roll out on her ...

cuz most likely she's cheating on me.

just saying.
 452
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 201
You are everything I ever wanted in a woman...
Posted: 1/31/2011 4:43:51 PM
People who do this like the thrill of being chased.They pull you in enough to make you believe that they have intense feelings for you then just at the peak they snap back.You chase then they get the thrill of being chased.When they need that thrill again they snap back and you chase again.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 202
You are everything I ever wanted in a woman...
Posted: 1/31/2011 11:12:59 PM
said it, meant it, will disappear for weeks without notice
just because you are the 'one' doesnt mean I dont need my space and my time off from you. and if I am not calling every hour, or texting every 5 minutes, and that is the level of intensity you need.... you wont survive the first long weekend of riding season. Dont feel bad, few do.
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 203
You are everything I ever wanted in a woman...
Posted: 2/1/2011 7:43:47 AM

said it, meant it, will disappear for weeks without notice
just because you are the 'one' doesnt mean I dont need my space and my time off from you. and if I am not calling every hour, or texting every 5 minutes, and that is the level of intensity you need.... you wont survive the first long weekend of riding season. Dont feel bad, few do.


Hummmm.......You mean men need their "space" too?

I agree the first weekend that weather allows me to ride. I am going to jump on my Harley and see where the road takes me!

Funny how when a man takes some time to be alone he is a player, yet when a lady does it she is just taking needed time for herself.

This is why I have learned that being single has many more benefits than being in a relationship.

Don't get me wrong I like the company of a lady however why be miserable with one when you can be happy with many?
 452
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 204
You are everything I ever wanted in a woman...
Posted: 2/1/2011 8:14:36 AM

will disappear for weeks without notice

This is actually cruel.Having no idea what happened to someone and going out of your mind trying to find out if they are dead and alive is the sickest thing you can do to someone you claim to love.

I completely understand wanting along time,and will demand my own alone time,but I would never just take off and not let anyone know where I went too.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 205
You are everything I ever wanted in a woman...
Posted: 2/11/2011 7:45:14 PM
I have been with the military for a long time. A hop comes up, johnny jihad blows something up and bang, I am gone. I am lucky to get to mail, or skype and the phone is right out.
and when I get back, I get a claustrophobic feeling of smoothered and yep, I am out, I will text from the next state over.
probably why I never married.
we all have our burdens.
 1bellanella
Joined: 1/24/2010
Msg: 206
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You are everything I ever wanted in a woman...
Posted: 9/28/2011 6:39:36 AM

Just an update. In three minutes it will be my 57th birthday.
Birthday card...$
A Dozen Long Stemmed Red Roses...$$
Romantic Dinner for Two...$$$
The embrace, good night kiss and I love you...Priceless!

In a few days it will be three years since I received that first email from him here on POF. Things are still going strong. Just wanted to give some words of encouragement to those of you still looking. It is possible to find love here among the fishies.


Thank you so much for the words of encouragement, widowinloveagain! It's great to hear that things have worked out. I hope your 57th year is the happiest and brightest of your life (atleast until the 58th rolls around). Happy birthday
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 207
You are everything I ever wanted in a woman...
Posted: 9/28/2011 7:09:44 AM
I wouldn't take the words "you are everything I want in a woman" too seriously.

My off and on boyfriend of five years has said that to me on numerous occasions, yet he broke the relationship off twice.

Of course, a man (total stranger) in the parking lot of Target also told me that I was the "perfect" woman. He based this off of ten minutes of conversation and the fact that I wore a short skit.

Snot.
 MikeWM
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 208
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You are everything I ever wanted in a woman...
Posted: 9/28/2011 7:27:37 AM
What a surprise that many of the women can ONLY seem to think he "just wants sex" pmsl

Despite it seeming like the absolute last thing on his mind


From what I have seen I would say he still has open wounds, some confidence issues or something of that ilk. So he "wants" to make it more serious, but every time it gets more serious that makes him think of how it will hurt "when" (rather than if) you end it

Which is a commn kind of flip flopping perspective when someone still has an ended relationship on their mind as it will feel like it ending is the "only" possible outcome

Often people (both men and women) will do the same kind of pattern with different partners. Date them because they like them, but as soon as real feelings start to emerge they crap themselves and end it for any inane reason they can think of

But others go through the cycle far more quickly, and quick enough that they oscillate their level of attention with the same person

If you do really like this person and would like to see where it might go then the best approach is to tackle this with direct conversation and subtle reassurance about how you view them (but without being so OTT they wouldnt be able to believe it)

If not, then theyre best left alone for a year or two till theyre a bit more comfortable with and within themselves
 MikeWM
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 209
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You are everything I ever wanted in a woman...
Posted: 9/28/2011 7:28:28 AM
Doh, I gave up reading the posts about 3/4s of the way though haha

That'll teach me :)
 CynM
Joined: 7/11/2011
Msg: 210
You are everything I ever wanted in a woman...
Posted: 10/15/2011 9:33:55 AM
I've been following this thread since the beginning so, first, want to say 'whoo hoo doctor doctor that it is still working out so well for you and your sweetie'.

I've heard either the exact same words, or very similar, in the past. First guy was just in the delusional-lust stage. He may have believed the words when he said them but there wasn't anything behind them. Turns out there was another woman who was also "everything he ever wanted in a woman".

Last time I heard something similar ("I can't imagine anyone more perfect for me"), it was after being together almost 2 yrs so I believed him. The thing is, there are people for whom that belief ('she is perfect for me') doesn't translate to action (I want to be with her). Glad to hear you and yourr sweetie made that leap of faith and continue to enjoy the benefits. Some of us are not so fortunate.

Peace
CynM
 kailania
Joined: 4/10/2008
Msg: 211
You are everything I ever wanted in a woman...
Posted: 10/15/2011 11:32:39 PM
so happy to hear this from you.

as for the not calling in the beginning..
i have experienced that.
my bf seriously would say he would call and then fall asleep in front of the tv.
i know its true because when i was at his house i would witness it.
its not always pulling back...sometimes men get really tired from working all day.
sometimes they just need some space to get things done and get very focused on the task they are doing.

good luck to you OP.
 kcladyz
Joined: 8/7/2009
Msg: 212
You are everything I ever wanted in a woman...
Posted: 10/16/2011 8:23:00 AM
some people get close too fast then spook themselves. I seen it before. not uncommon
 gianne2011
Joined: 6/12/2011
Msg: 213
You are everything I ever wanted in a woman...
Posted: 10/16/2011 6:21:09 PM
I am getting out of a relationship like this. We talked just about everyday on im for about a month and a half before we met. We would see each other 1 day a week on the weekends, cuz we lived so far apart. We would meet half way. He would tell me the same things, even that he was falling in love with me. He would text me every morning telling me good morning, through out the day texting something funny. And then go a couple days, wouldn't answer my texts or calls. And when I finally hear from him, he would be angry and take things out on me, that I knew nothing about. But otherwise he was kind and said wonderful things when we were together. This would happen almost once a week.It has been 2 days and I finally heard from him today. He is leaving the state, and I never meant that much to him, even though he had big plans for us.( we were seeing each other for 3 months) I think part of his problem was a bipolar condition, but to leave after all the things he had planned was crushing to me. He never wanted to commit, just wanted a campanion. He may even be married. He said he was only here because of his daughter. I think he would come out for 3 months to see her and go back. I think the whole time he was a liar. Be careful, this man is 53 and never grew up.
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