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 AUTHOR
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 10
unwritten rules of POF for new membersPage 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
These were my rules:

Meet as soon as possible. That is about 6 emails into the interaction, one phone call.
No phone number, no date. If she didn't feel like giving it out, sorry baby no meeting.
I did not like coffee because it always ended up being an interview. But during the day, you can go for a bike ride, hiking, sight seeing, but I preferred meeting for a drink and seeing what would happened.
If she wanted to IM me, not interested, so if that was her prefer method of communication, find yourself someone else.
Never understood the "hang out thing".
Realize that we are all superficial, that we are looking at shelves of product. We are the product, but we are the buyers as well. If you understand the dynamics of internet dating, you can have an awesome time, and do find the person of your dreams. I did. In fact will be getting married in June.

And yes, have fun. But have fun because you went there with absolutely no expectations, just an open mind.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 12
unwritten rules of POF for new members
Posted: 3/30/2009 10:52:57 AM
I agree meeting as soon as possible, with the exception of TOO soon in a one-on-one environment (a handful of emails, and a phone call would be standard instead).

Don't give out your email address? I would not call this a "do not do" rule. You can block emails coming in from certain addresses, so it isn't like your home address.

Don't give out your phone #? Ahhh, again, not a "do not do" rule. Depends on the situation, to be honest. If say, you chat for the first time, and they're going to a bar that's down the road from the bar you're going to be at, and you want to run into each other ever-so quickly, yeah, a # would be convenient, but meeting so quickly would be understandable not to give out the #. Now, say you did the standard many-days-email-exchange, agreed to meet, and you were a 30 minute drive from one another? I would say that it'd be appropriate to exchange phone #s... if you live within a good range and not much time is wasted anyway? Understandable someone wouldn't want to give out their # if they're new to the 'online' thing, and it wouldn't be necessary (however, you'd want to think twice about whether you -really- do like them so far or not).

I wouldn't say "Hang Out" = casual sex. I would say that it means a very casual approach and could mean they have a higher probability to being open to casual sex. But it doesn't mean "I need to get laid" lol. And also "Friends" probably fits this role to a bit of a lesser degree, due to some people being shy about admitting they'd like to actually DATE someone from online, or they are truly looking for raw platonic friends... or are using the 'friends first' cliche and want to be vague.
 technohead
Joined: 3/19/2009
Msg: 13
unwritten rules of POF for new members
Posted: 3/30/2009 2:09:15 PM
Thanks ... dont put your expectations to high . You will be disappointed.

paul

 steveZen
Joined: 12/3/2007
Msg: 14
view profile
History
unwritten rules of POF for new members
Posted: 3/30/2009 3:06:29 PM
I prefer to meet in the early evening over a glass of wine (or tea). And I avoid meeting at coffee places.
Because:
1. no one looks good under the florescent lights at starbucks
2. you're both probably a little nervous - coffee does not help!
3. '' '' '' '' '' - a little wine may help
4. I don't know about you, but I look and feel much better in candlelight!

steve
 Rushâ„¢
Joined: 2/17/2009
Msg: 15
unwritten rules of POF for new members
Posted: 3/31/2009 7:15:49 AM

You should also have warned older women not to fall for the sweet talk of men half their age, because they are generally looking for money or sex NSA. I am 64 and was amazed at the number of mid-30's to mid-40's men who wrote to me. You have to be pretty stupid to think a man half a century younger than you is interested in YOU, so be careful out there!


Hmmm. Makes me wonder, what their true intentions were.
 celts123
Joined: 5/15/2008
Msg: 16
unwritten rules of POF for new members
Posted: 3/31/2009 9:46:55 AM
My only rule is that that are no rules.

I never followed any 'rules'.


Exactly. Use some common sense and do what you feel comfortable with.
 ImAHotMess
Joined: 7/11/2008
Msg: 17
unwritten rules of POF for new members
Posted: 3/31/2009 12:21:55 PM
For me, I do try to meet people as soon as I can, HOWEVER....the people I meet I at least TRY to make sure we have enough in common, and that there are a few e mails back and forth that show legitimate interest. I have no intentions of using anyone for their time or money, nor do I have time to be dealing with game players. In the beginning, that was all I seemed to really attract. Liars, story tellers,etc etc. On line has been a challenge, because you put trust and faith into people's words, and after meeting so many of them you start to wonder if you can trust anyone. I finally think I have met someone who is not full of shit. Just be careful on or off line with anyone you give information to. All this stuff is pretty much common sense for on or off line anyway. And for the record, some people are just flat out mean. The biggest offense on here I have encountered are lies. Age, marital status and intentions. It is easier for someone to "paint a pretty profile" of who they wish they were. Ask a lot of questions and watch for signs. All you can do.
 2HEDZ
Joined: 3/16/2005
Msg: 19
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History
unwritten rules of POF for new members
Posted: 4/1/2009 12:36:27 AM
this thread sucks. its another person implying that there is a certain way you should behave and a certain way other should act towards you. the fact is that everyone is different. yea going out for coffee is safe but its also very boring. those rules might work for you but not everyone works at your speed.
 lindaq01
Joined: 3/2/2009
Msg: 20
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History
unwritten rules of POF for new members
Posted: 4/18/2009 6:11:05 PM
It seems to be to superficial anyway. The guy seems to be focused more on age and looks even though some of them says they are looking for a friend.. also Do men lie about their age.. they look much older in picture than age listed, but one guy told me I was two years older that I was too old.. but he looked older to me..
 lindaq01
Joined: 3/2/2009
Msg: 21
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History
unwritten rules of POF for new members
Posted: 4/18/2009 6:22:23 PM
you are correct, be polite always and respectible you can part in 15 mintues and be friends.. but dont lie.
 lindaq01
Joined: 3/2/2009
Msg: 22
view profile
History
unwritten rules of POF for new members
Posted: 4/18/2009 6:29:28 PM
i wouldnt date anyone younger than 5 years. Never did. But that is so creepy that they would play around with you to get your money.. it is kinda dangerous all the way around and deceptive, why cant people be honest at this age anyway. I dont know if it is worth the risk.. I guess that is why this is good-- being advised what to watch out for and to be aware.
 Meeting_At_The_Crossroads
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 23
unwritten rules of POF for new members
Posted: 4/5/2013 9:30:49 AM
These have been said before, but I think these state them pretty well...

1. On line dating has it's perils. Think it through. Get a little attitude. Tough up. Post a pic. Email, phone, meet for a drink. Decide if you want to do it again. It scared the stuffin' outta me, but I got over it. Now I'm having more fun. No expectations (just show up), meet mostly nice people, enjoy that part and learn to 'just say NO (thanks)' when necessary. Be polite and respectful,...then evaluate, adjust and move on.

2. If I add you to my favorites, please take it as a wink, read my profile, and get back to me if there is any interest on your part.
If I should contact you and there is no interest on your part please, simply do not respond I will take it as an answer in itself.
 jlynn1955
Joined: 8/24/2012
Msg: 24
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History
unwritten rules of POF for new members
Posted: 4/5/2013 11:17:32 AM
You should probably add that there are alot of curmudgeons on the site, especially in the forums. They tend to think their job is to ridicule and insult anything and everything anyone else says. In time, you will learn who they are.
 coderedjulia1
Joined: 2/3/2013
Msg: 25
unwritten rules of POF for new members
Posted: 4/5/2013 11:54:29 AM
I have noticed that you really shouldn't give out your number until you know for sure that there is something between the two of you. I hate giving out my number, and I lose interest and the guy is constantly bugging me.
 wolftxusa66
Joined: 3/13/2013
Msg: 26
unwritten rules of POF for new members
Posted: 4/5/2013 12:25:27 PM
I'd paraphrase 1 to "don't wait too long", doesn't have to be right away.
And 2: If you set up an email, make sure not to use your name. abc at yahoo dot com may show "John Doe" in square brackets, if you fill it in, even if your address doesn't show it.

I have no issues with phone numbers. I don't keep calling if we don't match or communication fizzles.

All others are good.
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 27
view profile
History
unwritten rules of POF for new members
Posted: 4/5/2013 10:58:56 PM
Playing by the rules is boring.
 Quasimodo11543
Joined: 7/21/2010
Msg: 28
unwritten rules of POF for new members
Posted: 4/6/2013 12:28:33 AM

I have noticed that you really shouldn't give out your number until you know for sure that there is something between the two of you. I hate giving out my number, and I lose interest and the guy is constantly bugging me.


Yanno, back in the days before cell phones if you didn't give someone your number you'd better be well stocked on batteries cuz you're gonna be alone a lot. Nowadays, it just seems like everyone is so god awful paranoid about something as stupid as a phone number.

MOST, of your own safety is contingent on YOU and how you approach it all, meet in a public place, make certain someone knows where you are going and you will contact them when you leave, who you are there with. Christ, no wonder so many people are single these days, afraid of their own shadows. If someone decides to become a pain anymore I guess it's because you just pulled a vanishing act on them. Everyone screams you don't owe anyone anything but when you commit what many will deem an offensive, rude, disrespectful behavior, what do you expect? If you aren't interested in someone after meeting, at least have the balls to tell them. There can be many perils to dating period, but not every person you meet is a full blown, psychopathic, axe murderer.

There is only 1 rule for online dating or dating in general, keep your head out of your ass. Your brain will make much better decisions this way as it will be getting sufficient oxygen to function properly. I have no problem dealing with someone who can't take no for an answer.
 liftnw8z2
Joined: 11/12/2012
Msg: 29
unwritten rules of POF for new members
Posted: 4/6/2013 9:51:10 AM
No. Most important rule is "be perfect or go home."
 jc91607
Joined: 1/21/2013
Msg: 30
unwritten rules of POF for new members
Posted: 4/6/2013 4:41:23 PM
The most important rule is that you should not expect to attract people here who are of a higher quality than you normally date in real life. Sites like this are great for getting you in contact with larger numbers of dating prospects, but it will not improve the quality of people you can expect to date.

You see too many balding dudes who ride the bus to work online expecting to meet models and have orgies with them. You see too many obese 40-year-old women with 5 kids from 15 different fathers online expecting to find doctors with six pack abs who will whisk them off their feet and marry them.

I would conservatively estimate that half the whining and moaning that occurs on these message boards is because people are refusing to acknowledge this very important rule.
 ochikergirl
Joined: 2/25/2013
Msg: 31
unwritten rules of POF for new members
Posted: 4/6/2013 5:30:23 PM
OK - here are a few more rules that really need to be observed:
1. Don't send a pic of your penis.
2. Don't send a video of your penis in action.
3. Don't ask for a nude pic.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 32
view profile
History
unwritten rules of POF for new members
Posted: 4/7/2013 1:15:15 AM
Wear flame retardant clothing when entering the forums. It gets scorching in there with all the flaming going on.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 33
unwritten rules of POF for new members
Posted: 4/7/2013 12:11:48 PM
Everyone online is a stranger unmet.
Most, thankfully so.
Just mere chimeras.

so give no thought to them.
no matter the interaction.
(good or bad)
Only give thought and emotional energy to those who you may meet
or know in real life.

There really is no reason to get worked up
over characters in cartoonland.
 35brock
Joined: 3/20/2013
Msg: 34
unwritten rules of POF for new members
Posted: 4/7/2013 12:23:49 PM
Be yourself. Don't have high expectations.
 lostnfoundluv
Joined: 1/10/2009
Msg: 35
unwritten rules of POF for new members
Posted: 4/7/2013 12:29:52 PM
talking to your date before meeting saves lots of time effort and money.
 ochikergirl
Joined: 2/25/2013
Msg: 36
unwritten rules of POF for new members
Posted: 4/7/2013 2:55:30 PM
Actually, I think not talking too much to your date is better. I noticed that when I talk to a guy for a long time and then I meet them, I usually don't like them. But if I don't talk to them too much - maybe once or twice - then when I meet them, it's usually a good meeting.

Another rule: They say girls lie about their age and weight, but guys lie about their height and weight. Ask them to snap a pic as they're talking to you.
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