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 Lobo_Corazon
Joined: 2/6/2009
Msg: 43
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Eharmony - Knowing What You Are Buying ?Page 2 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
The big pay sites all have the same big problem - It's too hard to communicate. The "industry" has gone through a few changes over the years, becoming more and more restrictive about what you can do as a free trial member. Yet most of the people you find in any search are sure to be non-paying... Meaning you can invest your $30+ per month, and a bunch of time writing nice personal emails to some interesting matches - And there's a good chance not one of them will even be able to read your email if they wanted to. Match doesn't even show you who the email came from any more. Were people really that disappointed with what was out there?
You don't only have to overcome the big hurdle of both people liking each other, before you can even get to that point the stars have to align for two paid members to bump into each other.

This is a fatal flaw in the model, with a simple solution - Allow paid members to communicate two-way with non-paid members when they initiate the conversation. But apparently that didn't make them enough money - So instead now they are just selling "the dream". It's false advertising, simple as that.

Notice that those sites never show you who the paid members are? That would be too easy... And too revealing! I wonder if it's 1%? (I would bet less.) If you knew, most people would do one search, discover there wasn't a single interesting member in your town able to communicate, and abandon any thought of paying to try it out.

Back in the day, when Match was new, I met a handfull of really interesting ladies there - Attractive, professional, on-the-ball women. But with all of the changes they've gone through, I'm not convinced it's practical any more. Definitely not a good investment, perhaps unless you live in a major US centre like NYC or LA.
 xeot
Joined: 10/25/2007
Msg: 44
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Eharmony - Knowing What You Are Buying ?
Posted: 4/8/2009 8:29:03 PM

Notice that those sites never show you who the paid members are? That would be too easy... And too revealing!

They even have profile approval processes to make sure people don't say they only have the 'free' account in their profiles too.

The 'free' profile would go away entirely if they didn't need numbers for advertising purposes.

I'm not bored enough to do this exercise, but the percentage of paid accounts could be calculated by taking the number of profiles match claims to have on their site then divide the gross revenue (might be impossible to find if they are privately owned) on their annual report by an average annual cost from the fee structure. These two numbers give estimates of total profiles and paid members. If match sells advertising space the percentage of paying customers will be skewed upwards.
 Lobo_Corazon
Joined: 2/6/2009
Msg: 47
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Eharmony - Knowing What You Are Buying ?
Posted: 4/9/2009 11:28:10 PM
I would honestly be very surprised if the number of paid members on Match was as high as 8%. If it is, maybe their business model makes more sense than I thought. (eHarmony's % is probably much lower than Match - % of men paying anyway. Let's face it, having to spend a lot of time answering endless questions before you even get a chance to see a picture is not something most men are going to respond well to!)

None of us should be surprised that a big business is out to make money without any real concern for the customers' happiness. Still, I wonder if they wouldn't make more profit if they loosened things back up enough to attract more people by making it a more useful service? Then they could reduce the price, attracting still more people (and the extra subscribers are almost pure profit, serviced by the existing computers.)

I haven't tried AFF, but I'll bet they've followed along with Match to change to forcing you to subscribe to read emails.
 FreschFisch
Joined: 4/5/2009
Msg: 48
Eharmony - Knowing What You Are Buying ?
Posted: 4/10/2009 12:36:26 AM
I had the most absolutely odd experience..

I met this girl on Match and we dated in a crazy way for 9 months and it ended out of the blue when I had to cancel a trip that I had already purchased tickets for etc..

Anyway she still went on dating sites. Didn't really bother me. I can remember her talking about Eharmony once but it was early on. She said she never matched with anyone period. I always laughed to myself because I thought she was kind of whacked too. But hey she had more good than bad.. or i was just having fun

Well a month after we split I signed up on eharmony and lo and behold guess who one of the first matches i was sent was....

I must be whacked too!

but really I didnt think it was so bad. Of all the sites I have been on it had the most even headed, non-materialistic, professional type females. POF is whacked but it is multi-dimensional. It is interesting to see who takes the time to explore and communicate. This place could make money... Im new.
 NotTheAverageChick
Joined: 7/9/2006
Msg: 51
Eharmony - Knowing What You Are Buying ?
Posted: 5/23/2009 11:03:32 PM
The founder of EHarmony is a very famous fundamentalist Christian who is also very politically active. I won't bother quoting all the facts but the gist is that he founded the site SPECIFICALLY for Christians, with Christian values (ie., women submit to men, etc.) to the exclusion of everyone else (free thinkers, feminists, non-religious, etc.). Of course, he put a sheen of universality to it. But, I remember a few years ago, there was a big outcry from gays/lesbians as well as atheists about how the computer algorithms so expertly blew them off (no pun intended).

And, if you look at the couples matched on the tv ads, you can just imagine how generic and cookie-cutter their responses likely were!

So, all of us independent thinkers just have to work a little harder at finding someone. But, we knew that, didn't we?
 Lobo_Corazon
Joined: 2/6/2009
Msg: 53
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Eharmony - Knowing What You Are Buying ?
Posted: 5/23/2009 11:26:40 PM
Estrella: You got an actual rejection? Or you completed the thing, logged in and had no matches? I had no matches off the bat, but they kindof trickle in. But then, I'm Christian...
 army3
Joined: 11/10/2008
Msg: 55
Eharmony - Knowing What You Are Buying ?
Posted: 5/24/2009 12:50:52 AM
See, this is why I don't use pay sites. How is a computer, something devoid of emotion or thought process, gonna be able to know enough to match humans up? Shure, use common interests and things, but what about attraction levels? What about the spark? You can't put things like that into words, they just sorta happen. And besides, what about sites like this, or myspace that actually give you free communication as well as allow you to personalize your page in many different ways so as to let people see your true personality? If you ask me, the stupid rich people use pay sites. I'm already paying an internet bill, why do I want to pay for it twice?
 kickingfate
Joined: 9/10/2005
Msg: 57
Eharmony - Knowing What You Are Buying ?
Posted: 5/24/2009 3:58:37 AM
The only thing that gets successfully matched at Eharmony is Dr.Moneybags you see on TV and the suckers money. He gets matched with your cash and you get some computer selected match from the northpole.
 Imakeyoulaff
Joined: 5/10/2009
Msg: 58
Eharmony - Knowing What You Are Buying ?
Posted: 5/24/2009 9:28:17 AM
I must be one of the luckier ones. Granted I'm still single so I haven't been THAT lucky, but I've been on eHarmony for almost 2 years and I've gotten to the phone call stage with a bunch of people from there. Even met a few people. Perhaps my filter is set more loosely, but I get an average of 5-10 matches A DAY. Half of which are within 30-40 miles of me, which is an acceptable distance. One of the easy things I like about the site is the first stage of communication the closed ended questions are the easiest thing ever to initiate communication. You don't have to "think" of what to write to someone, just click send questions, and wait for them to answer the multiple choice questions which are just as easy to answer, and still allow you a blank space to write out your own answer. And there is always the fast track communication where you can skip the guided steps and go straight to open communication. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not promoting the site. Once my year subscription is up in June I will not be renewing, but there are some things I do like about how the site operates. I had no idea about POF until a month ago when I went out with someone(through eHarmony ironically) told me about this site and that it was free. So when that relationship didn't work out I joined this site. I definitely like this site, but have to get used to writing first messages again and getting them to stand out from the 100's of messages a day girls must be getting.
 TheRedBaron9
Joined: 5/18/2009
Msg: 60
Eharmony - Knowing What You Are Buying ?
Posted: 5/24/2009 11:33:13 AM
My paralegal and his wife met at eharmony.com. I met my girlfriend on match.com. I've never tried eharmony, so I can't speak for it from first-hand experience, mind you. I thought match.com was utterly fantastic. My two cents, for what it's worth.

You've got a friend,
Luke
 bender1954
Joined: 2/11/2009
Msg: 61
Eharmony - Knowing What You Are Buying ?
Posted: 5/24/2009 2:45:21 PM
Hey now i know someone whos wife found another woman on true, and they are living together happily ever after lol
 8soldierfalcon8
Joined: 2/16/2009
Msg: 62
Eharmony - Knowing What You Are Buying ?
Posted: 5/24/2009 3:50:05 PM
Eharmony sucks.

Period.

I've tried it twice, and let me be as straightforward as possible here.

That site is not meant to cater to young attractive people who can and do meet other ways.

The few women on there who were anywhere near what I would consider my type either didn't pay for the the site, or were expecting to meet an oil tycoon.

I'm really not embellishing, either.

Eharmony's marketing makes it seem too, "magic". I think that people join that site and their expectations raise. People with super low expectations to begin with are able to find meanintful relationships and maybe have success. People who have what I could consider "normal" expectations will not find success.

Simple.
 michaeld70
Joined: 5/6/2009
Msg: 63
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Eharmony - Knowing What You Are Buying ?
Posted: 5/24/2009 5:21:56 PM
I've joined many sites and have found very few people in my area (a small Canadian town) . Most of the time if I have found a couple, they hadnt been on in months or years. I wont sign into a site that needs card info before you can even see if there are locals, let alone in your country. True dot com and truebeginnings dot com sends me tons of mail suggesting that I had been sent mail. Total BS I'd say.
 danishsweetbread
Joined: 2/25/2007
Msg: 66
Eharmony - Knowing What You Are Buying ?
Posted: 5/24/2009 11:14:45 PM
My mom pushed me, along with some girlfriends, onto eHarmony. I had taken off 8 months from dating after a particularly lame=mistake=of=a= relationship ended... and decided to take the plunge by eHarmony to put my feet back in the shallow pool of dating.

I mainly look at guys' faith/religious views as I am a bible-thumper. And I actually got one cute guy interested who lived near by...but wrong religion. So I closed him and twiddled with all my filters. Now I hardly get matches. When I do, one of us always closes each other.

So a few months ago, I dusted off my old PoF profile, uncloaked it and brought it out off hiding.

I have not made any love match but I am having more fun here. For one, I enjoy playing with my profile (changing it...and answering forums...the music playlist etc).

eHarmony has fun forums but I got sick of them. Also, I feel eHarmony wants to match me up with somebody far, far away.

I have been in LDR and not interested anymore. I personally gave up on it and my mother is p122ed off at it as she paid for it.

I don't recommend it.
 danishsweetbread
Joined: 2/25/2007
Msg: 73
Eharmony - Knowing What You Are Buying ?
Posted: 5/25/2009 10:31:53 PM
FacetiousDude said

I think Lavalife is better for a paid site. At least they don't scam people. I never used it myself though.
I probably wouldn't pass the test. I am spiritual but not religious. I get annoyed when bible thumper try to convert me. I was forced to be a Christian as a child and I really hated it.


Well, I don't. In fact I won't reply to you (person contacting me intially) if he is not a bible-thumper like me. I am sorry there are some who waste precious time like that.
 GoofBall311
Joined: 5/4/2009
Msg: 86
Eharmony - Knowing What You Are Buying ?
Posted: 5/29/2009 2:04:50 PM
Eharmony is totally bogus, but their commercials are so romantic!
 VeroNearU32960
Joined: 12/12/2006
Msg: 87
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Eharmony - Knowing What You Are Buying ?
Posted: 5/30/2009 4:12:21 AM
Exactly RIGHT eHarmony is about MONEY, not about people meeting people. Don't fall for their BALONEY TV ads.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 96
Eharmony - Knowing What You Are Buying ?
Posted: 7/16/2009 7:02:52 AM

I think most pay dating sites are a waste of money.


Hmmm. I was with match, paid,for the year subscription. In two years went out with over 80 women. Sounds like a good deal to me. My Gf, tried the one month Free subscription. Made contact with 3 guys, went out with one (me). Cancelled her subscription.

Sounds like both got a great deal. But wait, she now has breast cancer, so maybe I should sue the sites for all the discomfort and emotional turmoil since if I had not met her through there I wouldn't have to endure this. (Just a joke, we're doing fine)
 chrono1985
Joined: 11/20/2004
Msg: 98
Eharmony - Knowing What You Are Buying ?
Posted: 7/17/2009 5:39:03 AM
I had a similar problem with a few other sites which I used online surveys to get the payment in, during the trial membership lots of messages yet I could not reply, soon as I filled out enough surveys for the full membership on those sites I tried not a single message and never even got a single message I sent out read. That's when I decided to just stay away from pay sites like that, just glad I didn't dish out money out of my pocket for them, at least the surveys I did came with other freebies like this metal cigarette tin that made an excellent case for a guitar effect circuit.
 Vincent_1984
Joined: 11/14/2005
Msg: 99
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Eharmony - Knowing What You Are Buying ?
Posted: 7/22/2009 7:12:49 AM
I just gave eHarmony a shot since they had a promo on. What a scam. For one thing, eharmony has, at best, one tenth of the members plentyoffish has (or at least that what it seems to be) and half of those members are also on plentyoffish. The interface is horrible, you have to go through each match and close them one at a time, which can be a very slow and tedious process. There is also, apparently, no way to bypass their matching system, so instead of letting you browse and pick what who you like from reading their profiles you are limited to the very few people who they deem you compatible with. It's a waste of time and money.
 Wyatt Earp1
Joined: 7/15/2009
Msg: 104
Eharmony - Knowing What You Are Buying ?
Posted: 7/23/2009 12:18:12 PM
E Harmony sucks. The women complain on E H's sister website eha that there aren't enough men on E Harmony. I think for every man there are three women? E Harmony is the most boring, labor intensive (you have to use your time to close out matches) and all the questions asked doesn't help you get matched with anyone different than here on POF.

POF is way better, more fun and less labor (time) intensive. Also E Harmony Advice (sister website to E Harmony.com) has a reputation for being run and controlled by extreme feminists. Allegedly they run off men who don't conform to extreme feminism. Before you plunk down $ for E Harmony, join Udate, Match.com or any other leading website. E Harmony imho is the worst and most expensive.

Former E H member for years...
 8soldierfalcon8
Joined: 2/16/2009
Msg: 105
Eharmony - Knowing What You Are Buying ?
Posted: 7/23/2009 12:28:07 PM
EH sucked.

I do personally know some people who got married from eharmony...

But they're more of the straight laced, homely variety.

I'm an attractive geek.

It's not a site for me.
 Wyatt Earp1
Joined: 7/15/2009
Msg: 111
Eharmony - Knowing What You Are Buying ?
Posted: 8/16/2009 12:44:40 PM
E Harmony sucks. Trust me.
 PittsburghVixen
Joined: 6/27/2009
Msg: 112
Eharmony - Knowing What You Are Buying ?
Posted: 8/16/2009 5:19:33 PM
Eharmony is a complete waste. I tried it three different times over the years when they had their "freebie" promos, and the very few "matches" that they insisted on sending me were completely out of the guidelines of what I was looking for - and I was set up with a pretty wide range.

I used to like match.com - met my last LTR on there and we were together for five years - but it's a wasteland these days too. I like these POF fora.
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