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Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 101
Dating while unemployedPage 5 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
I don't see a problem with dating while you're unemployed for all the reasons that have already been mentioned.

As for 'dragging her into it' and telling her about each attempt and/or rejection letter, play it by ear. Just remember that if you do get someone deeply involved in your own process there's alway the temptation on their part to micromanage things.
Joined: 2/26/2008
Msg: 102
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Dating while unemployed
Posted: 9/13/2009 11:38:06 PM
Unless you are lacking initiative - dating while Unemployed is Temporary - Unfortuatly as the Times as They are - if you get Laid Off - you just might be out of work for upto 2 years even with a College Degree.

Right Now employers even with a little growth in the Economy like the 10%+ Unemployeed pool out there right now - they are working on models that show the Highest Amount of Efficiency with the least amount of workers. They can push their workers to work overtime with out pay, have them do things they usually can't get away with - holding the spectre of Lay Off as the threat against your job.

Wall Street is prognosticating NO NEW JOBS, and NO JOBS RETURNED - they are gone and not coming back. Small businesses can't be created - new jobs can't be formed - the Banks are wanting their money - gouging everyone in the process - You got to just survive the Turmoil......

Joined: 5/27/2009
Msg: 103
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Dating while unemployed
Posted: 9/13/2009 11:56:36 PM
I have been laid off since March with a temp position ending last Thursday. I have done a little bit of dating with women I already know.

I find it difficult for me to meet a new woman, as there is something known here as "The Seattle Freeze", where both genders seem to be just cold stuck up people which I find true sometimes. So with that said, I find myself hesitant to meet anybody new, which is part their fault and part mine to pre judge. That is tough to get past!!!
Joined: 9/4/2009
Msg: 104
Dating while unemployed
Posted: 9/14/2009 12:11:05 AM

my thoughts on this is that you should continue to date even if you've lost your job.

there will be those that won't go out with you because they're closed minded, judgemental and look down on you for not having a job like it's your fault. These are generally people that have fortunately not been affected yet by the downturn of the economy. Some people are just ignorant and will always feel like they're better than you and if you don't have a job, you must have done something wrong therefore you're scum and not worthy. these are people that you really need to stay far far far away from because they're snobs that in time they will get their due.

anyone that has a brain should realize what has happend throughout our country, i mean it is quite obvious don't you think?

also there are those that fully understand even though they still have their jobs and don't have a problem with it at all especially if they know that you continue to seek employment.

to all those that think you should wake up and start looking 24/7 well, that's very unrealistic. yes, those that are unemployed should be diligently looking for new employment but please everyone is entitled to enjoy life and continue to socialize and try to live as close to normal as they once did. if people don't take extra special care of themselves at these times depression is sure to set in and then health issues etc... so, yes i believe that it is vitally important to continue to live life as normally as possible and that means maintaining relationships with family, maybe doing a little home repair around the house, catching up with old friends and definetly dating. the only issue is money and during times of being unemployed you might have to be a little more creative than usual like finding things to do that cost little to no money or go dutch with costs.

so yes, by all means don't have a contagious disease but rather are suffering a set back due to events that have occurred that were out of your control.
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 105
Dating while unemployed
Posted: 9/14/2009 12:13:03 AM
meh, go for it, everytime I meet a hot girl that I get to know and learn a few things about her and consider asking her out, I find out that she already has a boyfriend that is living at home with his/her parents, recently parolled, unemployed, has warrants, has custody issues with previous girl, may or may not have committed X crime, plays in a band, has the newest Xbox, and drives a 97 Chevy Caprice.
Its really about the only benefit to being unemployed; yep, go after the hot girl that thinks you just need her to turn your world around ;)

Your results may vary, the above is just my emperical evidence here in my red neck part of the woods.
Joined: 9/10/2009
Msg: 106
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Dating while unemployed
Posted: 9/14/2009 1:22:13 AM
So what's more difficult, finding a job or finding a date? -
Personally, I have never been aware that the is such a fine line between pleasure and survival. Anyhow, I marvel at the total lack of common sense displayed by the mass population.
Joined: 2/26/2008
Msg: 107
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Dating while unemployed
Posted: 9/14/2009 8:52:53 PM

So what's more difficult, finding a job or finding a date?

A date - at least you can walk away from a job interview on your own accord, if they act rediculous - as so many are these days:

... oh there is no pay - you sell 12 of our products this month then we pay comission only if you don't sell 12 then we don't keep you.....

....Or how about your interviewer is wearing a wifebeater , torn shorts and flip flops - in an office telling you you can't handle the job and are unprofessional - while you are wearing your best suit?????
Joined: 8/11/2009
Msg: 108
Dating while unemployed
Posted: 9/21/2009 11:00:08 AM
It's harder for men to find a date, but easier for women, because women don't actually find a date, it just happens.
Joined: 8/13/2009
Msg: 109
Dating while unemployed
Posted: 9/21/2009 11:30:26 AM
I'll go out on a limb and say that the OP has most likely found a job by now.
Who knows if he found a date.

God it is so bizarre when these old threads get resurrected by a reply 2 years later.
Joined: 5/27/2009
Msg: 110
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Dating while unemployed
Posted: 9/21/2009 1:17:27 PM
"God it is so bizarre when these old threads get resurrected by a reply 2 years later"

I would agree with you, but this is still a good question these days with the economy, which was nowhere near this bad 2 years ago.

Edited, and looking back it looks like this started 3/31/09. Hmmm that's not even 6 months ago on my calendar. Maybe my caledar is F'd up, LOL
Joined: 9/11/2009
Msg: 111
Dating while unemployed
Posted: 9/21/2009 6:01:31 PM
how you handle all this will determine if you are respected.

This I totally agree with.

You can distinguish who has character and who hasn't by the way they carry on through tough times.

Although you may think it is a weakness to be un or under -employed right now, it is also a great opportunity to know for yourself and to show what you are really made of. Women look at that: At least, I do.

May you be well and find strength.

More that at a date, I would look at simple friendship right now, at finding people who truly understand you and your situation.

pS: who cares if this is not up to date, the topic is still valid!
Joined: 8/11/2009
Msg: 112
Dating while unemployed
Posted: 9/24/2009 10:40:09 AM
When do you think the Recession will come to an end?
Joined: 7/8/2009
Msg: 113
Dating while unemployed
Posted: 9/24/2009 7:59:20 PM
theres always value meals at mc donalds
Joined: 9/21/2009
Msg: 114
Dating while unemployed
Posted: 9/24/2009 8:18:05 PM

interviewed even 6 times without landing a sensible offer (one firm offered a position whose compensation, according to their illustration using numbers from 2008, would NOT pay my rent!). After each of these unsuccessful interviews, it gets a little harder to maintain a positive attitude about the NEXT opportunity, despite knowing how bad the job market is in general, and the

If the job wouldn't pay your rent then you should have shared a house or apt. with as many people as necessary. A paycheck is a paycheck. I haven't cared how much or little someone earned as long as he tried. You sound spoiled and in for a big reality check.

It's also making it harder for me to "stay in my happy place" while dating. Will women/a woman think less of/reject me because I'm out of work? If so, is that "her problem?" Or is it a cost of being out of work that I have to endure, similar to being rejected for any other reason (e.g. weight, hobbies, etc) that can be said to be within my control?
No of course not, you deserve to be with a wealthy supermodel. If anyone less rejects you then it's "her problem" I guess you'll have more sympathy for ugly fat chicks. But no, that's right you don't. It's their problem...
Joined: 8/10/2009
Msg: 115
Dating while unemployed
Posted: 9/24/2009 8:51:11 PM
One of your're quotes says that you're not in your happy place while unemployed....that's the sentence right there that should tell you dating right now should be the last thing on your mind....How can you date if you're not in your happy place?? It will just stress you out more because unless you have a stack of money saved up, I'm not too sure you'll be getting many dates that will agree to pay your way.
Joined: 2/26/2008
Msg: 116
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Dating while unemployed
Posted: 9/24/2009 8:57:37 PM
Well, lets get things straight - If you are a Righty then all people who are not working right now are worthless excuses for human beings. You don't deserve a hand out - "You need to pull yourself up by your own bootstraps!" You're a lousy bum and worthless to the bone. People who think this way are on POF and no matter what you do to make it or even if you are lucky to find a new job - you are still a bum.

Just like the Depression in the 1890's - people died of hunger because there was no safetynet set up, people striked for unfair labor laws were either shot or branded Anarchists (precurser to Commie.)

Wouldn't we all like to go back to the "Good Old Days" where the Grand Old Party ran everything, Evangelical Christianity told you to gather all your money for yourself, spit on the poor and your life was cheap.........

Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 117
Dating while unemployed
Posted: 9/24/2009 9:04:59 PM
I agree with Mohagany Rush totally. Trying to find a job and getting on your feet should be priority.

Everything Mohagany mentioned happened even with someone I me most recently. He was saying "let's go for breakfast." I noticed he was moving too fast. He cancelled breakfast saying he had a job interview, then says but "can I come over and visit"? I only met him the day before. He seemed quite the kling on.
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 118
Dating while unemployed
Posted: 9/24/2009 9:48:58 PM

Here are problems with just putting your life on hold like that -

Not dating isn't putting your life on hold, unless you make dating your life.

I agree with those who say get back into the job market first...but then for me I don't have any desire to date when I don't have work because I don't feel right when I'm not working, so I find it odd that people who aren't working and are worrying about paying bills have any interest whatsoever in doing anything but getting back to a point where they are working again.
Joined: 6/17/2009
Msg: 119
Dating while unemployed
Posted: 9/25/2009 11:48:09 PM
I like the posting that said this guy probably has a job by now--he posted in March--he really should pop back in and update everyone. The thing I wondered about in reading the thread is that everyone assumes to find a job you stay in the same town. My take is that when you are looking for a job these days, you go where the job is--that may mean a place you didn't expect to be; however, isn't life an adventure where you don't know what's coming next? For some, it's a play, and when the second act doesn't work right, they recast it, but for those of us who see it as an adventure, it's easy. You get the job first because you don't know where you will be living; then, once you're there, why not date?
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 120
Dating while unemployed
Posted: 9/28/2009 3:40:19 PM
Update, lost the job due to economic down sizing at the beginning of the month....
and guess what, hot girl half my age wants to go out now that I have 'time' for her
Its a crazy stupid mixed up bizarre world. Maybe she sticks around after the next job starts, until then, enjoying the ride.
Joined: 9/5/2009
Msg: 121
Dating while unemployed
Posted: 9/28/2009 9:24:38 PM
Based on your title cos I didn't bother to read the post....its a headache LOL,...anyways, if you are active looking for a job thats good. If you are lazy and depressed and expect us to understand then I have no sympathy for ya!

Unemployed people needs some loving too
Joined: 4/6/2008
Msg: 122
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Dating while unemployed
Posted: 9/29/2009 3:07:02 AM
This is a very interesting topic namebd. And, I can relate to your dating experiences of feeling a cut below a womans expectations, when it comes to dating during lean financial times.

My business is very slow, so I'm pretty much unemployed, but get no unemplyment compensation. So, I'm probably in even a worse scenario, since my retirement is paying the majority of my expenses.

Anyway, my experience has been similar. Over the past couple of years I have taken out a number of ladies and typically after a date or two the great majority of them reveal concerns over the level of entertainment I have been able to afford. Please keep in mind that I live in Southern California, so expenses are high as are the expectations of many, but not all of the women.

What is surprising is that I was taught when growing up that ladies should love you for who you are as a person. So, it has been a bit of a downer to learn that is not typically true.

I learned this when my cash flow dried up and had less to spend on dating. It was like a night and day experience. As long as I had money to take them out to an average or better dating experience all went smoothly and well. But, what I noticed was when I tried to be creative and still do something with them, but maybe not at the level I used to be able to afford, then they just didn't stick around for long.

These are actual scenarios. I met this woman for coffee at Starbucks in the Santa Anita area and she asked if we could go across to BJ's Chicago Pizzeria to the bar for appetizers and beer tasting. Apparently it wasn't good enough for a first date. Then the next date I took her to The Original Spaghetti Factory for dinner and she asked me why I didn't make plans with her for after dinner. Because, I hadn't it was supposed to be an indication to her that I wasn't very interested. No it just wansn't in the budget... That was our last date.

Then I invited another woman to dinner, and she would ask if we could see a movie after dinner. It sounds like fun but I told her maybe another time. And, she would ask does it have to be one or the other? And, eventually I had to tell her that I wasn't in the position to do both and why don't we do see a movie next time. This happened with her twice and I realized she wasn't the one for me. Under normal circumstances it wouldn't be a problem, however when one is on limited funds it just is.

There are other stories I could share but I'll end with this last one. I met a gal a few weeks ago. Our first few days were really nothing short of awesome. However, once we had been out a few times and realized that I was on a real budget, it really changed her feelings for me and she was blunt about it. She apparently eats out regularly at full scale restaurants and does not cook and was not willing to go to a Daphnes's, Baja Fresh, Corner Bakery or Panera Bread kind of place where you ordered at the counter. That along with my business being slow I think at least were a very big part of the new relationship to going South. In all fairness, there were other issues it didn't work out, since she eventually told me that she wasn't interested in having children, which is an obvious problem for compatability. But the point is that the criticism or rejection is often there in one way or another.

Now, to add a little balance here, these women may just not have been for me and I for them. And, I love women and respect them very much. My rocks were my grandmother, my mother and my sister and I have a ton of female friends. So, this is not coming from a woman hater or anything like that. I am however sometimes frustrated that things do not get further because of what appears to be a financial judgement and that can be bruising to a mans ego. Especially, when he is spending money that he really shouldn't because he really wants to see a relationship work with someone.

Being in Southern California, my experience is not unusal to men in my financial position, as I've compared notes with more than a few. But, I'm still staying optimistic even though it can be challenging. My mother still maintains that it only takes one. And, I believe she is right. I don't know when I will find her or she finds me, but I think it is important to remember that we are not dating the entire human race of the women's species.

I know there are some women that are not willing to accept a guy in my position. One of those such gals is a good friend of that is how I know. But, as many have said in the forums here, there are enough kind and warm hearted women out there that will be understanding during these difficult economic times. So, that is the hope I am holding out for. One would think that there would be good women out there with some vision and belief that the future will be brighter. Just one...
Joined: 4/10/2009
Msg: 123
Dating while unemployed
Posted: 9/29/2009 6:17:38 AM
OP must have found a job by now, he hasn't been up here answering his thread in some time.
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 124
Dating while unemployed
Posted: 9/29/2009 8:14:44 AM

That, or just be honest with women you are dating and tell them you're unemployed but highly qualified in the field you work (IT).

The OP stated he was in IT Staffing, not IT - meaning he worked for a company that headhunted and placed people in that field, he didn't work in the field himself.

I have a couple friends and a family member that were also laid off IT placement jobs. Actual IT people haven't had as much trouble.
Joined: 7/30/2009
Msg: 125
Dating while unemployed
Posted: 9/29/2009 9:14:34 AM
I don't have any issues with dating someone that is unemployed and actively seeking a job.

I would much rather eat a McDonald's and go home a watch a DVD with a man that sincerely cares about me, than to be wined and dined at a fancy restaurant with a man that is just trying to impress me.

Money certainly makes life easier, but in my experience, it doesn't make one man better than another.
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