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 Genuine_Gentleman_For_You
Joined: 4/22/2009
Msg: 101
Are there any people left that date one at a time?Page 5 of 14    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)
I'm just not the serial dater kind of guy. So dating one woman at a time is the way for me. Plus I would probably feel guilty about dating more than one woman at a time anyway.
 Trishinwi2009
Joined: 2/24/2009
Msg: 102
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Are there any people left that date one at a time?
Posted: 5/11/2009 4:45:13 PM
I'd be glad to date one at a time that had time....

Men are so busy all the time an they figure they can go a week or two without calling you - by that time I'm talking to the next potential individual.

I'm not going to limit myself to dating one person who is only available when HE wants something...but when I find that man who is actually going to be an active participant in a relationship he is going to be one LUCKY s.o.b.
 BLONDGIRL2013
Joined: 3/6/2012
Msg: 103
Are there any people left that date one at a time?
Posted: 4/29/2012 7:04:16 AM
Anyone & Everyone in thier Right frame of mind If / When they do know exactly know what it is that they want when they start chatting with that certain person it should be with that certain person not Persons which OBviously states that they ( D o n t ) know what and with whom they want to persue a "" Monogomous ( 1 On 1 ) relatiosnhip and give that one a chance to see if that other person Not persons a chance to see if it Blossoms to more than just a chat and fling and If there Thee ( Right ) person not persons this is why sooo many people the ones that dont know who and what theyre looking for This is why there wondering "" Why Am I Still S i n g le and so All alone and with all... Thee ST D;s Ob viously... Nooo One genuiinely cares they should ask themselves Have I been to the doctors and get a STD;s check to know for sure Enough said.
 Divine_huntress
Joined: 2/29/2012
Msg: 104
Are there any people left that date one at a time?
Posted: 4/29/2012 7:49:37 AM
Meeting people for simple coffee dates and conversation, does not equal dating exclusively. There have to be a mutual agreement of exclusivity; then I will stop meeting other people. I have the bitter experience of thinking that a guy I met and had good connection with will only date me, so I stop contact with others. Well he was meeting other women (rightfully so) and I lost other opportunities because I thought things were going somewhere with this guy. Talking, emailing, and meeting for the first time over coffee does not guarantee an instant relationship. To stop meeting others just because you liked someone, without know if the other person felt the same way, its just another way to get disappointed... I don't expect any man I am just meeting for the first time, to stop talking to other women.
 ForRumOnly
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 105
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Are there any people left that date one at a time?
Posted: 4/29/2012 12:20:26 PM
One at a time? Well, yes - it's awkward to book two dates at the same time, unless they know each other and are okay with it.

Aside from that, if I have several good prospects, I'll date them all until I decide if any are worth seeing exclusively, and would expect them to do the same if they wish. I find that one and only one at a time is too time consuming when seeking a lasting relationship, too inefficient, and extremeley likely to cause frustration and disillusionment because of lack of progress towards finding that special one.
 GoldinSFla
Joined: 10/21/2011
Msg: 106
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Are there any people left that date one at a time?
Posted: 4/29/2012 12:30:20 PM
Unless a guy and I have each agreed to be exclusive, I don't think there's any need to just date one. If 3 or 4 guys are interested , I like to give them a fair chance unless I am not attracted to them at all.
I dont know how you can just date one at a time when you have just met someone. That doesnt seem fair...I might be forsaking my soul mate because someone else got asked me out a day prior.

Sometimes a guy will seem very interested, write every day, call every day, and then for whatever reason decide to cool it. If I was dating him only before I really knew his intent, I'd wind up without anyone.

I believe in being faithful, but that can only occur when both parties are in agreement that they don't want to date anyone else.


Its perfectly fine to date more then one person until you both come to that agreement.
 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 107
Are there any people left that date one at a time?
Posted: 4/29/2012 4:14:59 PM
Geez, that issue really is more than redundant by now.

Doing a thread search, it is pretty obvious that people do have different interpretations of "dating" and what it entails. For some it's exclusive, for others not.

So, if it that issue is so vitally important to someone, they should check with their respective date what his/her interpretation is, and take it from there.
 grove_22
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 108
Are there any people left that date one at a time?
Posted: 4/30/2012 7:01:06 PM
Well if there is mutual interest between myself and 2 women, I would go out with both of them. Going out on a few dates with someone doesn't equal exclusive relationship. If I really liked one of the woman after a few dates, then I can focus on her and stop dating the other woman at that point. No need to put all of my eggs in one basket when most first dates don't progress to a committed relationship.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 109
Are there any people left that date one at a time?
Posted: 4/30/2012 9:03:11 PM

I might be forsaking my soul mate because someone else got asked me out a day prior.

You might be foresaking your soulmate by having that grass is greener mentality, too. What if your soulmate wouldn't date you unless you agreed to date exclusively? As far as I was concerned, a woman who wanted to date other guys would never have been relationship material, although casual sex would have been ok.
 GoldinSFla
Joined: 10/21/2011
Msg: 110
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Are there any people left that date one at a time?
Posted: 4/30/2012 9:46:57 PM

You might be foresaking your soulmate by having that grass is greener mentality, too. What if your soulmate wouldn't date you unless you agreed to date exclusively? As far as I was concerned, a woman who wanted to date other guys would never have been relationship material, although casual sex would have been ok.


As I said, I believe in being faithful, but there is no commitment unless both people make that agreement. It has nothing to do with the grass is greener.
The grass is greener would be if I was dating a man for a month, two months, he was wonderful, we got along great, he wanted to be exclusive, but I refused because i was looking for something else.

If 2 interesting , attractive guys message me the same week, Im not going to commit to seeing only one because he messaged me on Thursday and the other guy messaged me on Friday.
However, if I meet someone, we get along great, we click, have instant chemistry and wind up staring into each others eyes all night, then sure I might be ripe for being exclusive, I am after all looking for a relationship, but it still has to be mutually agreed upon.

It sounds like you're saying that for you to date a woman, she has to agree to be exclusive with you before you even meet her. I dont know how you can expect a woman to commit to you without even knowing you and I don't know why you would want to do that either.

Finally, I would think that if I met a man for one date and then demanded to be exclusive with him before we even go out a second time, he'd probably think I was nuts and would run for the hills.
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 111
Are there any people left that date one at a time?
Posted: 4/30/2012 10:16:54 PM
Landra

Really! Why would they do that??? WHo are these many people, off dating sites?? You are saying that the first date or second meeting they decide to not see anyone else. Wow, they have a lot more luck than most. Hard to believe actually.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 112
Are there any people left that date one at a time?
Posted: 4/30/2012 10:56:50 PM
Della D
Doing a thread search, it is pretty obvious that people do have different interpretations of "dating" and what it entails.


This is so true. Meeting women for me in the last 3 years doesn't fit into terms like meet and greet or having a date.
 marie2107
Joined: 11/14/2011
Msg: 113
Are there any people left that date one at a time?
Posted: 5/1/2012 12:04:26 AM
/do you give the respect of your full attention or do you play games and lead on?

These are not mutually exclusive. I do give dating my full attention. I just do not think it is smart to be exclusive just because someone else wants to be the ONLY option. Dating and having sex are different so I am only talking about dating. Why shouldn't you be compared to others? Those others are options and could be missed opportunities for a woman that you are seeing. You and she should be free to explore until you both decide that you are exclusive and whatever that involves.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 114
Are there any people left that date one at a time?
Posted: 5/1/2012 2:47:14 AM
It has nothing to do with the grass is greener.

But it does. You are afraid you'll miss someone by dating one person at a time. You probably didn't consider the possibility that you'd miss someone by not dating one person at a time.

It sounds like you're saying that for you to date a woman, she has to agree to be exclusive with you before you even meet her.

No, I'm saying that I wouldn't go on a second date with a woman who wouldn't date me exclusively, unless I had no intention of dating her for any reason other than sex and that I'd quit dating her as soon as I met someone who would date me exclusively and who was interested in a relationship. Up until the time we actually met in person, I didn't care.

If 2 interesting , attractive guys message me the same week, Im not going to commit to seeing only one because he messaged me on Thursday and the other guy messaged me on Friday.

When that came up, I told a woman to meet me last, so she wouldn't have that problem. She could meet the other guys first and decide what to do after meeting me, since the other guys were probably willing to date her either way.

However, if I meet someone, we get along great, we click, have instant chemistry and wind up staring into each others eyes all night, then sure I might be ripe for being exclusive, I am after all looking for a relationship, but it still has to be mutually agreed upon.

If that chemistry wasn't there, I wouldn't have gone on a second date (unless all a woman wanted was sex). That was agreed to by default before meeting.

I dont know how you can expect a woman to commit to you

All she was committing to was to date me exclusively for however long we dated, which could have been 1 date or 3 years (as with my fiancee). I expected that because I've never had a woman want to date me and not want to date me exclusively. That seemed rather normal to me.

I don't know why you would want to do that either.

Because I wouldn't get into a relationship with a woman who was sleeping with other guys while I was dating her. Since people don't go on many dates before having sex, for all practical purposes, dating is equivalent to having sex and I don't have much difficulty ruling people out quickly.

Finally, I would think that if I met a man for one date and then demanded to be exclusive with him before we even go out a second time, he'd probably think I was nuts and would run for the hills.

Then you'd be the 1 in 100 or so that weren't happy to date 1 person at a time and know that the guy you were dating wasn't juggling several women while dating you. Given that I averaged 2 dates/week with the most being 4 dates in a week, I didn't lack for dates and I only talked to 1 woman who wanted to juggle several guys at once. Let's put it this way, if you didn't want to date me exclusively from the start, that would have been fine, but it would have never led to anything but casual sex. If you wanted the pssibility for a relationship, then you'd have to date meexclusively while that played out either way.

Dating and having sex are different so I am only talking about dating.

The difference between dating and having sex is about 1 or 2 dates, so for all practical purposes, there is no difference. Women always like to draw this distinction because they want to say they only have sex in relationships, but the fact is, people generally have sex before a relationship is established. (And in my experience, sex is something that just happens. It's not something that gets discussed or decided upon in advance.) So, women say they got played because they think by having sex, they're in a relationship although they haven't actually cleared that with the guy to find out what he thinks. In any case, if a woman was dating other guys, I'd assume she was also sleeping with them, since I would have no way of knowing she wasn't.

Why shouldn't you be compared to others?

That's the same argument guys give for expecting to test drive you first. Are you going to go along with that as well? After all, why souldn't you be compared with others in bed, too?

Those others are options and could be missed opportunities for a woman that you are seeing.

You can also miss opportunities with guys who won't date you on those terms, so no matter what you do, you might miss out. I wasn't just an option for someone unless she was just an option for casual sex.
 tuxqueot
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 115
Are there any people left that date one at a time?
Posted: 5/1/2012 8:29:08 AM
When I started dating, the same day I came back here and edited my profile to say I was exploring a new relationship and I was no longer fishing.

She told me I didn't have to do that until we knew how serious it was going to get.

I told her that in order to see how serious it was going to get, I felt it only fair to give it my full undivided attention.

Johnny Depp is credited with saying "if you fall in love with 2 people, choose the second because if you were really in love with the first you wouldn't have fallen for the second."
Albert Einstein is credited with saying "If a man can drive a car and kiss a pretty girl at the same time, he is simply not giving the kiss the attention is deserves."

Give a relationship your full attention. Don't put yourself in a position of having to choose between 2 people.

Just my opinion.
 a_Libra_rising
Joined: 2/29/2012
Msg: 116
Are there any people left that date one at a time?
Posted: 5/1/2012 12:07:46 PM
I date/see 1 person at a time. I'm not a dater and I'm not a fan of juggling people. I can't even juggle friends, let alone guys. When I'm seeing someone, I don't have it in mind that the guy is seeing others... mostly because the guys I've been with only date/see 1 person at a time. If he is seeing others, then it's up to him because I'm open and accepting enough that he should be honorable enough to tell me. If he wants to see others, that's fine with me, but I would just stop seeing him romantically and we could just be casual friends or remain acquaintances. I'm not into someone who sleeps around or sleeps with others easily with others. It's not something that "just happens." I'm not that way and I can't respect someone who's not on my level if I were to get involved with them beyond platonic friendship.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 117
Are there any people left that date one at a time?
Posted: 5/1/2012 12:45:01 PM

Ha I wish I could get one date let alone try to juggle multiples

I used to multi/frenzy date. It was definitely quantity NOT quality. I stopped that stuff years ago. I toy with the idea of multi-dating again once in a while, but I'm too lazy.
 taters51
Joined: 4/19/2012
Msg: 118
Are there any people left that date one at a time?
Posted: 5/2/2012 7:51:25 AM
It's no wonder there aren't many decent guys on here. I was reading this post and this guy was attacked for his stance. It looks like he is gone now.
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts15103623.aspx
 Divine_huntress
Joined: 2/29/2012
Msg: 119
Are there any people left that date one at a time?
Posted: 5/2/2012 5:06:06 PM
I see that for some people here "dating" equals being intimate etc. I am referring to meet people from here. e.g. meet a guy for coffee on a Saturday and meet another at a park on a Sunday. There is no sex involved here just meeting; once I decided to have sex with someone I expect exclusivity on both parts. But that usually happens after more than five dates, because it is obvious that there is a mutual attraction. Emailing people and meeting them for the first time is not a relationship...
 magicallaroundme
Joined: 3/9/2011
Msg: 120
Are there any people left that date one at a time?
Posted: 5/3/2012 1:07:55 AM
One at a time? Maybe girls can get away with it once in a while. There are probably a few of those.

Men? NO. Men who are willing to date one at a time are the ones who only get the opportunity to date none at a time. When a man says that he is willing to date one at a time then no girl ever wants to date him. All aspiration and no concrete success. Men who can date at all, date multiple.
 a_Libra_rising
Joined: 2/29/2012
Msg: 121
Are there any people left that date one at a time?
Posted: 5/3/2012 6:15:55 AM
^that's not true at all. I know plenty of really good looking guys who don't date around. They just go after the girl they want and make that girl their girlfriend.
 _Kites_
Joined: 1/1/2011
Msg: 122
Are there any people left that date one at a time?
Posted: 5/3/2012 6:36:15 AM
^^^I can vouch for that and confirm that it's not true.

It's the women that *don't* get the date who have a problem accepting it.

I've always dated one at a time. But it takes a few dates before I get to that point. However, if like her a lot right away and she tells me that I'm the only one she's dating, I'd stop dating others right away too.

What's the point in starting several relationships at once?? A woman that multi-dates has always been a huge turn off for me and I've dumped a few after a couple weeks of dating because of it. The one that had the jealous, stalker, cop ex-husband made it an easy decision. Lol..
 Jaimes004
Joined: 8/18/2011
Msg: 123
Are there any people left that date one at a time?
Posted: 5/3/2012 6:56:44 AM
One at a time here.......
 RobHamilton
Joined: 10/27/2011
Msg: 124
Are there any people left that date one at a time?
Posted: 5/3/2012 7:00:53 AM
Until you and the person agree that you are going to be "exclusive" then neither of you have a right to expect the other to only "see" each other. Try asking, "are you seeing anyone else right now?" That way you know where you stand and the type of person you are dealing with... This way you can ask them if they would like to be exclusive with only you.
 a_Libra_rising
Joined: 2/29/2012
Msg: 125
Are there any people left that date one at a time?
Posted: 5/3/2012 7:44:13 AM

^^^I can vouch for that and confirm that it's not true.

It's the women that *don't* get the date who have a problem accepting it.


Say what? Vouch for what/ who? The second sentence makes no sense.
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