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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Are there any people left that date one at a time?      Home login  
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 Confuzzled4ever
Joined: 6/9/2005
Msg: 126
Are there any people left that date one at a time?Page 6 of 14    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)
I don't. I date whoever I want whenever I want. Unless I really like someone.. what's wrong with that??? How am I supposed to find mr right otherwise?
 taters51
Joined: 4/19/2012
Msg: 127
Are there any people left that date one at a time?
Posted: 5/3/2012 8:24:59 AM

I don't. I date whoever I want whenever I want.
Do you know how stupid you sound. You can't date whoever you want if they don't want to date you because you are a multidater. Get some respect for other people or do you just date objects
 _Kites_
Joined: 1/1/2011
Msg: 128
Are there any people left that date one at a time?
Posted: 5/3/2012 9:18:56 AM

Say what? Vouch for what/ who? The second sentence makes no sense.

This isn't true - "When a man says that he is willing to date one at a time then no girl ever wants to date him."


It's the women that *don't* get the date who have a problem accepting it

If I turn a woman down, or end correspondence with them because, "I've met someone and I want to give her a fair shake," they sometimes get pissy about it.

In my experience, more women than men multi-date. I don't want to date a woman that has been dating some other guy(s) for a couple weeks or more.. they often become flaky and I feel like they're not ready to invest in a relationship with me. I want to start investing right away - because that's how *my* relationship is going to start out. I'm not going to hang out in a woman's wake while she plays the field.. not gonna happen. No way, no how - there's nothing in that type of approach that I'm willing to accept and I'd hope my date feels the same way.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 129
Are there any people left that date one at a time?
Posted: 5/3/2012 1:00:54 PM
There is no sex involved here just meeting; once

No one said there was.

But that usually happens after more than five dates, because it is obvious that there is a mutual attraction.

If you're dating several people at the same time, there's no way for any of those people to know what you are doing with the others, so the only thing they should assume is that you are having sex with them when they decide whether or not to continue dating you. That's a lot better from their perspective than to date you while assuming you aren't and discover otherwise later on.

Emailing people and meeting them for the first time is not a relationship..

Again, no one said it was.

I don't. I date whoever I want whenever I want. Unless I really like someone.. what's wrong with that???

Nothing as long as you are willing to accept what the guys you date decide about you as a result. If you wanted to keep dating others while dating me, I'd decide you were worth dating for sex only and in lieu of that, I wouldn't date you at all.

How am I supposed to find mr right otherwise?

My fiancee found me by not dating anyone else after meeting me. If she had wanted to date others, I would have decided that I wasn't going to be mr. right regardless of what she might have thought about it.

 taters51
Joined: 4/19/2012
Msg: 130
Are there any people left that date one at a time?
Posted: 5/3/2012 7:03:19 PM

up your game if you want to get the girl.


Looks like the key word there is game. We grown up ladies don't want boys/players who play games. I want to know there is a chance of getting somewhere from the start or I am gone.
 Divine_huntress
Joined: 2/29/2012
Msg: 131
Are there any people left that date one at a time?
Posted: 5/3/2012 9:26:54 PM

If you're dating several people at the same time, there's no way for any of those people to know what you are doing with the others, so the only thing they should assume is that you are having sex with them when they decide whether or not to continue dating you. That's a lot better from their perspective than to date you while assuming you aren't and discover otherwise later on.


A intelligent mature man does not assume; he will ask me and I will be honest with him. I am meeting people until me and another person agree to take things to the next level; most of my meeting are one "date" and then we never see again. If a man makes assumptions of my sexual life even when he doesn't know me, he is not worth my time anyway.

What the Op has said is that he becomes exclusive even before the official dating has been determined; it is his choice, but he should not expect that the other person he is talking to do the same. For me Dating is when two people meet and after several meetings they mutually decided to take a break contacting others and concentrate on each other.
 taters51
Joined: 4/19/2012
Msg: 132
Are there any people left that date one at a time?
Posted: 5/4/2012 5:41:32 AM

A intelligent mature man does not assume


An intelligent mature man has no choice but to assume. He does not know you.


he will ask me and I will be honest with him.


Again, he does not know you so he would be a fool to trust you to be honest.
By the way would you like to buy a bridge. I have got a great deal on one just for you.
 mrjon32
Joined: 3/26/2011
Msg: 133
view profile
History
Are there any people left that date one at a time?
Posted: 5/4/2012 5:45:31 AM
I have a hard enough time getting one date let alone two. What I should say is it would be nice if they at least replied every once in a while.
 FashFotog
Joined: 1/1/2012
Msg: 134
Are there any people left that date one at a time?
Posted: 5/4/2012 5:46:54 AM
Up until I joined POF/OKC I dated only one at a time. Always... Yes, I feel I increase my chances by starting out by dating a few people at a time, but the trade off is even MORE time wasted FASTER and even more disappointment. I really don't think it's better either way. It just is what it is.
 nubeginnings64
Joined: 4/8/2012
Msg: 135
Are there any people left that date one at a time?
Posted: 5/4/2012 6:29:20 AM
It's an unrealistic expectation not to be compared to others in this day & age. It's even more unrealistic to expect someone's full attention & or respect without proving yourself to be worthy of it. Two single people don't make it enough a commonality to exclude others from consideration. That you live under a cloud of insecurity are your own demons to deal with. A horse that gets spooked at the gate isn't even in the race at all.
 bay_shore
Joined: 3/24/2012
Msg: 136
Are there any people left that date one at a time?
Posted: 5/4/2012 8:33:03 AM
When I'm a relationship, I don't see other people. However I don't necessarily consider myself to be in a relationship with someone that I had went out on 1 or 2 dates with. If this is important, then ask the other person if they are dating anyone else.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 137
Are there any people left that date one at a time?
Posted: 5/4/2012 9:11:57 AM
if I just met someone, I dont owe them anything.

By the same token, I didn't owe a woman anything after a first meet either, and in particular, I didn't owe her a second date on her terms.

up your game if you want to get the girl.

If a guy has upped his game enough, a woman won't want to date other guys and he'll just sleep with the women who do until a woman comes along who will date him exclusively.

A intelligent mature man does not assume;

An intelligent, mature man takes the information he has to work with and makes the best decision he can make for himself. If you date several guys at once, he can decide any number of things about you, all of which would be to his advantage, if he's not desperate.

If a man makes assumptions of my sexual life even when he doesn't know me, he is not worth my time anyway.

Most women are going to think a guy's not worth her time if he asks about her sex life on a first meeting. A guy is better off going with the odds by not asking than catering to a few anomalies who expect him to ask about a woman's sex life at a first meeting.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 138
view profile
History
Are there any people left that date one at a time?
Posted: 5/4/2012 10:36:09 AM

Mazr45
if I just met someone, I dont owe them anything. its a MEET. i'm not "dating" them.

So far, I'm with you 100%.


I think you need to UP YOUR GAME and keep the women interested in YOU. not the other guys.

Now this is where you lost me. Why should I have to up my game? Instead, why shouldn't you have up to up your game to win me? Did you ever consider the possibility that I might be just as valuable a commodity as you? That I might be worth pursuing, instead of the other way around?
 CuriousFantasyWriter
Joined: 4/5/2012
Msg: 139
Are there any people left that date one at a time?
Posted: 5/4/2012 11:13:55 AM
I prefer dating one person at a time. Less stress, no head games. It means I'll probably miss out on opportunities.. (I've turned down two dates today) but I believe that everyone needs to follow their own instincts and do what is best for them. And dating just one person at a time is what is best for me.
 Divine_huntress
Joined: 2/29/2012
Msg: 140
Are there any people left that date one at a time?
Posted: 5/4/2012 3:20:15 PM
Assumptions is what keeps people single and bitter; I rather ask. What are their intent, casual? serious? they're not sure? So if you go on a first meeting thinking you already know the other person, and thinking they are all going to play you, then why even bother meeting people?
If a man on a first meeting where mutual connection ask me to concentrate on us, I may give it a shot if I feel the same way, if not I will tell him so he can move on to someone else he deserves honesty because well he was upfront and asked me. If a man never tell me his intentions, should I assume? Assuming is what keeps the game going, its all in you mind, it creates drama...what happened to asking questions and being upfront? That is why the first meetings are for to know if people are a good fit or if not to let them go with honesty and respect... I am too old to make assumptions about men, I look at their actions and if I am in doubt I ask questions... If I don't believe them, I move on, no reason to use them or expect them to prove me otherwise.
 zookie57
Joined: 1/27/2012
Msg: 141
Are there any people left that date one at a time?
Posted: 5/4/2012 3:37:26 PM

up your game if you want to get the girl.


True, either it be a man or women, after a month or 2, if U are still dating each other, & if either feels,thinks that u can't still meet in the middle,then tis best to cut em lose.
As neither one of u are are the same relationship[healthy] that will go anywhere with any kind of cohesion. jmo

ps, a few dates don't mean swat! and especially for those haven't dated at all for quite some time & think every girl is the one.............lol sorry charlie it don't work dat way.......
 taters51
Joined: 4/19/2012
Msg: 142
Are there any people left that date one at a time?
Posted: 5/4/2012 4:11:01 PM
mermaids post number 271 is golden and would solve a lot of problems if everyone could be trusted
 dvincent1979
Joined: 4/28/2012
Msg: 143
Are there any people left that date one at a time?
Posted: 5/4/2012 9:52:44 PM
I date multiple ladies until i find one I really get along well with. Then i wait a bit and see if she wants to be exclusive. If not keep dating multiples until I find one.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 144
Are there any people left that date one at a time?
Posted: 5/4/2012 11:48:47 PM
Assumptions is what keeps people single and bitter;

Only people who make bad assumptions. I'm neither bitter nor single. I'm happy and engaged to a woman I met on pof.

So if you go on a first meeting thinking you already know the other person, and thinking they are all going to play you, then why even bother meeting people?

You're making things up out of whole cloth. No one said that, so you're arguing against something you made up.

Assuming is what keeps the game going, its all in you mind, it creates drama...

Again, only if you regularly make poor assumptions.

That is why the first meetings are for to know if people are a good fit or if not to let them go with honesty and respect...

Who said anything contrary to that?

I am too old to make assumptions about men,

I'm smart enough to make assumptions that are to my advantage.
 TantricJedi
Joined: 2/22/2012
Msg: 145
Are there any people left that date one at a time?
Posted: 5/5/2012 3:14:37 PM
Keep the dates cheap. Make her drive to you. Women are seeing several other guys and deciding who will liberate them before deciding on who to be exclusive with. Going broke so I can compete Tom, Larry and Phil ain't happening. If you need entertainment value, go to a comedy club.
 SONNI100
Joined: 12/24/2010
Msg: 146
Are there any people left that date one at a time?
Posted: 5/5/2012 4:40:00 PM
One at a time for me.
 CuriousFantasyWriter
Joined: 4/5/2012
Msg: 147
Are there any people left that date one at a time?
Posted: 5/6/2012 12:35:53 PM

Keep the dates cheap. Make her drive to you. Women are seeing several other guys and deciding who will liberate them before deciding on who to be exclusive with. Going broke so I can compete Tom, Larry and Phil ain't happening. If you need entertainment value, go to a comedy club.


I don't mind dates being cheap, but if a man expects me to always drive to him all the time than he's going to lose me. Then again, I don't date several men at a time either so maybe I am just different from what you think of as "normal women." I personally think that if distance is involved, a man and woman should meet halfway, or take turns doing the driving.
 happy2133
Joined: 4/8/2012
Msg: 148
Are there any people left that date one at a time?
Posted: 5/6/2012 3:54:03 PM
I would like to date 1 at a time but I find the men I meet on here like to play the field until they see how it goes. My question is exactly what you said. How can you give it a fair shot, or me a fair shot for that matter if there are other women involved. You can't possibly. I had one guy making me feel like I was on American Idol. Like I was competing. I finally told him this wasn't American Idol, he was NOOOO simon Cowel and a few more choice words before I moved on lol
 laughatlife115544
Joined: 4/22/2012
Msg: 149
Are there any people left that date one at a time?
Posted: 5/6/2012 5:08:56 PM
The entire world is a stage. Everyone is always competing against others for somethin..it can be a job, a relationship, or even how much someone charges you for a car repair. It can be more about attitude and less about looks in some cases. You should have enough confidence in yourself to say i am as good or better than the person next to me. If you don't feel worthy it shows and all you will be left with is a self fulfilling prophecy. Don't women do the same thing? You can be the greatest guy but they may say he is a pizza delivery guy..he doesn't even get a chance to compete. So let's not be on such a high horse and say woe is me..the violin strings are wearing out!!!! If there are going to be complaints than let's just respond to others according to profile and forget about pics..i say i will win the competition based on my inner self..not the outer. And if people will only choose me for other reasons than they are too shallow for me to be with anyway.
 happy2133
Joined: 4/8/2012
Msg: 150
Are there any people left that date one at a time?
Posted: 5/6/2012 5:32:58 PM
Laughat life I never said this was about pics or looks or anything like that. I am just saying that you can't give a person or a potential relationship your full attention if you are seeing others at the same time. I have PLENTY on confidence in myself which is exactly the reason why I wouldn't allow myself to be treated that way or treated like I am competing for someone's attention. If I have to fight for someone's attention then I really don't want it. I know what and who I am and what I deserve and will accept nothing less. I give my 100 percent full attention and except it back in return. I would never beg or fight for anything. I am way too good for that and I will hold out for the man who makes me feel like I am exactly who he wants. I don't want someone who isn't sure and wants to see if there might be better. If so, then he can go get it but I assure you he'll will not do better than me!! LOL. There's a saying. Hold out not for the man who says you are beautiful, but for the one who makes you FEEL that way!!! Good luck in your search :)
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