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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Why is it so rare?      Home login  
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 theforumfiend
Joined: 10/21/2007
Msg: 4
Why is it so rare?Page 3 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Actually my younger brother is very attractive and he is attracted to women that most people would consider not so hot. His problem has been getting them to see past his looks to his sincerity.
 nissan240girl
Joined: 6/18/2007
Msg: 5
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Why is it so rare?
Posted: 4/4/2009 6:30:24 PM
its because most guys think outside beauty is the most important thing. As long as they are good looking on the outside who cares that they are not on the inside.
 UnexpectedError
Joined: 2/8/2009
Msg: 6
Why is it so rare?
Posted: 4/4/2009 6:32:19 PM

Is it because guys are more superficial than us gals?? That guys rate the physical as first priority where we women look for someone who can mentally stimulate us, make us laugh and make us feel special and put those more in priority than the physical?


A couple months ago, I totally would have bought that. You know, back before I joined and started reading these forums... and some of you girls' profiles. :p

It's rare because... Well, actually it isn't, from what I've seen. I think I may be living in the wrong city....
 DLo!
Joined: 4/23/2008
Msg: 7
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Why is it so rare?
Posted: 4/4/2009 6:35:13 PM
I go out with anyone that has a cool personality regardless of looks. I do however "Require" the person to have self confidence. :)
 Mr Bain
Joined: 12/6/2004
Msg: 8
Why is it so rare?
Posted: 4/4/2009 6:39:50 PM
My last thought on this would be that if you took all the counter-examples that everyone has mentioned and added them together, they would still be out-numbered by what we already know to be a recurring trend. And I will say "we" notwithstanding some words of protest.

The explanation could be our own society.
Why is it so rare?
Posted: 4/4/2009 6:58:33 PM
Around here in the south I've seen about 50/50. I've seen great looking men with not so great looking women, and great looking women with not so great looking men. Maybe it's a location thing? Also, a lot of the time, the great looking guy with the not so great looking woman are usually pushing a baby stroller. Maybe he accidently got her pregnant and stepped up to the plate and took his responsibility as a father over her looks.
 catkin2007
Joined: 12/18/2007
Msg: 10
Why is it so rare?
Posted: 4/4/2009 8:44:23 PM
Op, sorry to burst your bubble about good looking women with the less attractive male... there are relationships in which the man is far nicer looking than the woman...

Often when we feel self pity or down on ourselves, we tend to see things one-sided... perhaps you need to reevaluate the reasons you feel the way you do.

Its not rare at all.

Good luck OP...
 WanderingRain
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 11
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Why is it so rare?
Posted: 4/4/2009 9:01:02 PM
I believe it is about the same. Just that you don't notice the not so good looking women because you don't notice them. But look around carefully. You will find all kinds of people loving one another. There's no pattern or anything... It's just people.
 2HEDZ
Joined: 3/16/2005
Msg: 12
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Why is it so rare?
Posted: 4/4/2009 10:04:23 PM
this is all very subjective. people go for who they're attracted to. thats the bottom line.
 Zephyr2553
Joined: 12/28/2008
Msg: 13
Why is it so rare?
Posted: 4/5/2009 7:49:31 PM
Who knows??? Who knows what it is that attracts one person to another? Sometimes its just their smile, sometimes its their feet or their tiny ankles or their eyes or their hands. I found one man's hands and fingers so attractive that I married him...lol

There are many triggers that attract someone to another. I think its nature. The photos on these websites are only one dimensional and very hard to catch the essence of the person.

That's why so many people complain on having met someone that they didn't look anything like their photo. The photos are just hints at what the person really looks like. It takes time to find that treasure within someone that sparks lust or respect or attraction.

One man's tits are another man's toes. One woman's teeth are another woman's tight ass. Each to his/her own. Some of the most mismatched couples I have known are the happiest....never asked them what they found attractive about the other.


There are so many beautiful women compared to what is considered good looking in the male population, that and the fact that we women always do the compromising. Look at the tv shows, name one where the guy is gorgeous and the woman is , well, less then desirable. I can name quite a few where the man is overweight and unattractive, and the woman is beautiful and out of his league.


Yeah, like the King of Queens.....just to name one. What could that very attractive gal find in the least bit attractive about that short, fat guy who behaves like a moron??? That is one show I've never been able to "believe".
 matchlight
Joined: 1/31/2009
Msg: 14
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Why is it so rare?
Posted: 4/5/2009 7:52:54 PM
How do we know that cagey little Herbert, with his bat ears, dandruff, and yellow buck teeth, didn't tell his plain, dumpy wife he was going to a business meeting--and that the woman you happened to see him with is a professional escort?
 Dannydoo787
Joined: 2/20/2009
Msg: 15
Why is it so rare?
Posted: 4/5/2009 9:36:10 PM
its probably been said but beauty is in the eye of the beholder my friend. From my experiances in relationships and dating. Sexual attraction comes from emotional attraction mainly. you may not be sexually attracted to someone until you really get to know them for who they really are. or visa versa. I am not a shallow person by any means at all. But I wasnt sexually attracted to the last person I dated because she was a few inches taller than me and had some "extra weight" but then I really got to know her and she turned out to be a really great person. which in turn made me get a little closer to her in the end. some people also "prey" on people with selfcontience issues. and they find what you may precieve to be a unattractive person to be an easy target.
 mysticaries
Joined: 4/4/2008
Msg: 16
Why is it so rare?
Posted: 4/6/2009 8:24:06 AM

How come you almost never see couples in which it's the other way around? Why is it so rare for a very handsome guy to date a woman who is significantly less (physically) good-looking than he is?
They don't take them out in public. You won't see couples like that at a club. You'll see them at the grocery store and the guy looks trapped. There will be kids hanging off his arms. She will look annoyed and he will look like he is one or two steps from faking his death and escaping to a tropical island paradise.


HAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! OMG - that is sadly true.


Gorgeous men take the spotlight off the gorgeous women. It's got nothing to do with sexual ability.


And how would you know? How many 'gorgeous' men have you slept with?
 ForRumOnly
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 17
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Why is it so rare?
Posted: 4/6/2009 8:37:13 AM
I have two thoughts on this. First, that the OP is mainly noticing the attractive women simply because they're attractive, so notices the men they're with. He probably isn't seeing the average or unattractive women unless there are no attractive women in view.

Surely the distribution of ugly, average, and attractive men is similar to that for women. I don't think the less attractive women are mostly without partners - and most women have children, so must have been attractive to someone at some point in their lives! How long have some couples been together, that the OP sees? The longer they've been together, the greater the chance that one of them has become obese, or unattractive in some other way.

From an evolutionary perspective, men are simply more attracted to attractive women because biologically, attractive women are perceived to be healthier and more likely to be fertile and bear healthy children. While the reverse is true for women looking at men, there is also the biological imperative to find a man who can provide for them while pregnant and are less able to fend for themselves - which explains why women value men for their resources and willingness to stick around and help raise the children, and less for their attractiveness (but still may try to be impregnated by that dark-bearded lantern-jawed hunk! lol). A hundred years or so of social change can't wipe out millions of years of evolution.
 Eenk
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 18
Why is it so rare?
Posted: 4/6/2009 3:16:22 PM
No one wants to talk to ugly chicks.
 Mr Bain
Joined: 12/6/2004
Msg: 19
Why is it so rare?
Posted: 4/6/2009 5:35:39 PM
Efforts to delete this thread failed.
 Isabella1900
Joined: 4/17/2005
Msg: 20
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Why is it so rare?
Posted: 4/9/2009 8:56:42 PM
It is not rare, the attraction and love goes more deeper that the physical looks
Is the way that person makes you feel. I had experienced it.
The last time that I falledf in love, was to a man who don't match with my idea of handsome men.

And was wonderful, amazing
 mthomjmark
Joined: 2/27/2008
Msg: 21
Why is it so rare?
Posted: 4/10/2009 1:21:14 AM
I know a few but it's mainly because I think men are more into looks than women are; I think more women of today are shallow like men, but more women look at the whole of a person where men just look at how they look; this one is easy to answer.
 ileft
Joined: 4/25/2008
Msg: 22
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Why is it so rare?
Posted: 4/17/2009 3:46:01 AM
I guess men and women look for different things sometimes. Women tend to start with the personality and then let the looks follow I find that a lot of men do things the other way around. Having said that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and they may find each other equally as attractive. I know what you mean though it does seem to look that way a lot.
 Cogie36
Joined: 10/23/2008
Msg: 23
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Why is it so rare?
Posted: 4/17/2009 4:02:58 PM
I have seen way more attractive men with homely looking women then I have attractive women with homely looking men.........
 ColonelIngus
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 24
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Why is it so rare?
Posted: 6/3/2009 9:34:16 AM

We see a lot of couples in which the guy is nowhere near as good looking as the woman. ... Why is it so rare for a very handsome guy to date a woman who is significantly less (physically) good-looking than he is?

Because ugly guys hit on good-looking women, but ugly women (or any kind of women, for that matter) never hit on good-looking guys?
 IKnowWhatBoysLike
Joined: 4/5/2009
Msg: 25
Why is it so rare?
Posted: 6/3/2009 9:44:30 AM
Frankly, I have dated some pretty freaking hot guys... way hotter than me. I have also dated some pretty freaking average guys. And frankly, I'm more attracted to average. So maybe the problem isn't that the hot men don't want to date less hot women, maybe the less hot women don't wanna date them. :)
 NotInnocent
Joined: 9/7/2007
Msg: 26
Why is it so rare?
Posted: 6/3/2009 10:23:59 AM
Because those guys treat us better then their steroid taking, gym rat, ripped bicep, GQ dressing, conceited, self-absorbed counter parts.

LMAO! No.. I'm not bitter.. I just couldn't resist..

Although it is partly true. Paying attention to us and treating us with respect (you know something more than a trophy to show off) goes a looooong way. And besides, just because he isn't drop dead gorgeous doesn't mean he's not handsome! Intelligence is way more attractive than looks and it lasts longer!
 egboy
Joined: 4/2/2008
Msg: 27
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Why is it so rare?
Posted: 6/3/2009 10:55:50 AM
I see it both ways. Good looking guys with 300 lb women and goodlooking women with big beer guted guys all the time. I lost a few of my girlfrind to these guys go figure.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 28
Why is it so rare?
Posted: 6/3/2009 1:19:54 PM
Women are attracted to confidence not looks.

Men are attracted to looks.

I am not an attractive guy, yet have always gone out with very attractive women. Why? Because I am shallow? Yeap. Because it takes the same amount of effort to attract and date an ugly woman than an attractive one, so why not go exactly for what you want.

hehehe
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