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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > How "open" are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?      Home login  
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 dvbranton1
Joined: 3/22/2009
Msg: 51
How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?Page 3 of 15    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)
I am single now cause sometimes I am too busy as I work full time M-F and my hobby keeps me busy on the weekends and spending time with my kids. I am out of a 8 year marriage that should have ended way sooner (still very good friends with the X). I am the type that likes a relationship but I just won't settle for just anybody. Even though I stay busy I have no problem making time for a special someone if and when it ever comes.
 White_Scorpion
Joined: 11/23/2008
Msg: 52
How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 4/9/2009 6:57:11 PM
For the first 24 years or so of my life, apathy was a pretty good explanation of why I was single. It seemed like a lot more effort than it was worth to learn and practice everything needed to sustain a meaningful LTR. In the past five years or so, I would say that another factor seems to be predominant.

I don't want children. Never have actually.

Most women I have talked with online or otherwise either have children or want them someday. All but one relationship I have been in has either suffered or was limited by this issue. I have come across countless potentially good matches only to have the same discussion that ends with a no compatibility clause. In the end though, I agree with the poster who said it is about choice.

When I want it enough, I'll go out and find a girlfriend. The game is not that tough to play.
 apocolypstick
Joined: 4/3/2009
Msg: 53
How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 4/9/2009 7:07:51 PM
My ex and I have a very confusing and complicated relationship that I don't expect anyone to understand.

Guys tend to steer clear of me, and I'm okay with that. Plus, considering I haven't been single for all that long - it's certainly not something that's playing on my mind a whole lot lol

 dave1234
Joined: 11/7/2004
Msg: 54
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How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 4/9/2009 7:33:26 PM
Well, I'm not single but when I was my "singleness" was due to not finding anyone, however, I did make it priority to do so. I joined dating sites, placed ads in newspapers, went to clubs, etc.


(Msg 43) What I don't understand is why so many people in society think that if you are single, you must want to be part of a couple and just can't for some reason. Explain this to me.


For me it's a simple question of sex. I suppose there's always a FWB or a FB but they don't usually last a long time and then there's the scheduling. Or going out and seeking a ONS but, then again, it's a hit and miss thing. In short, how do people get by without sex or do they?

I can't say I've ever "settled" because I never knew exactly, positively who and what I was seeking. I've always wanted to be with whom I was with. The termination of past relationships were almost always the other person's choice or they made life so unbearable I had no option but to leave. Even so, the prospect of living a sexless life was never an option.

So, to answer your question, there are people such as myself who can't understand how someone would be content to live a sexless life if, indeed, that is the case.
 bebe_doll
Joined: 3/20/2008
Msg: 55
How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 4/9/2009 7:39:36 PM
I'm very open about why I'm single. I have yet to meet the man who will sweep me off my feet. And yes, I am very happy right now and guess what?!? I'M SINGLE! Don't you envy that?
 A.L.V.
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 56
How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 4/9/2009 7:49:55 PM
I know why I'm single. It's completely by choice.

I'm a professional school student that requires a TON of time an effort. 5:30 wakeup. 6 45 leave for school. 8-6 class. 6-9 library. 10 home. 12 bed. Wash, rinse, repeat. It's demanding, but also pretty social at school since I love my friends there and we're a close-knit, small class. I also love what I'm learning, so it's not that bad. BUT obviously it's very time-consuming. I'm not interested in casual dating/relationships, but I also recognize that something serious requires time and effort, and I'm just not willing to put that effort in right now. I could if I really wanted to, but right now, my priority is on school.

I also have tunnel vision for someone I really care about. He's (fortunately) in the exact same boat as I, and would like something with me later on. Whether or not it ends up working on that way, I'm not sure, but in the meantime, I've tried going out on dates, but all I think about is him. So...

Anyway, I'm perfectly content being single. My friends/family/school/hobbies keep me completely satisfied.
 simplified_logic
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 57
How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 4/9/2009 10:22:19 PM
*sorry I had quote someone my browser is acting up.

My contribution is somewhat different, not from the subject but probably the reason. First a bit of a background:

I've been in Canada for about 5 years now, single for 4 of those five years.

Now the more I think about it the more complicated it gets but my best answer is that I didn't have the large network of friends when I came here at 22. There's no doubt that our prime years for eshtablishing a big network is normally before and/or around that age.

Now you might ask, well haven't been here long enough to have made a network close to that? I'd say, no not really because I had a new life to begin which wasn't going to happen in less than 3 - 5 years.

And now that I've got things settled (even though not 100%, more like 95%...ok fine 85%) I'm out and I'm fishing for sure ;)

Cheers.
 elles-belles
Joined: 3/20/2009
Msg: 58
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How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 4/10/2009 1:24:24 AM
I'm single because I came out of a relationship 7 months ago and I think it is good to have time to get to know yourself again alone and be happy again before wanting to share life with another.

I don't hate being single. It has it's good points. Life is good now, and that's why I can think about sharing it. If life wasn't so great I don't think I would be on a site like this, or even wanting to actually be open to meeting someone.
 des_angel
Joined: 11/4/2008
Msg: 59
How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 4/10/2009 7:58:33 AM

I am very happy right now and guess what?!? I'M SINGLE! Don't you envy that?


No... because I'm single too! lol

I really don't mind being single... and I've said it before... it's easier to be single.

I want to stay single until I feel right about not being single anymore.
 urinemyway
Joined: 5/4/2008
Msg: 60
How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 4/10/2009 8:18:56 AM
I'm single because I'm black.

hee hee hee - I finally get to use that excuse for something!
 des_angel
Joined: 11/4/2008
Msg: 61
How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 4/10/2009 8:22:08 AM

I'm single because I'm black.

LMAO! I'm single because I'm fat.
 SueCat51
Joined: 8/11/2007
Msg: 62
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How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 4/10/2009 9:45:57 AM
You get to my age, and people don't ask I haven't remarried since 1987, and there are times that I want to get a t-shirt that says "Single and damn proud of it", then the backside of the shirt would say "I have control over the remote".

Don't worry about the Busy Bodies that ask your marital status. It really is none of their business, and you simply owe no one an explanation.
 Stormwolf
Joined: 2/23/2009
Msg: 63
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How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 4/10/2009 11:19:01 AM
Why get married and make one Lady miserable when I can stay single and make thousands miserable?
 goodkindacrazy
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 64
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How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 4/10/2009 11:46:26 AM
For a very long time I believed that in order for me to have sex I had to be in a serious relationship. Because I really, really wanted sex I ended up in a serious relationship with someone who I wasn't suited to be with long term. I stuck it out though, because I was also very stubborn and stupid and thought I could change him. Two children and five years later I was single. For a whole six months. I could no longer handle the itch, lol. I needed sex and that meant a serious relationship. I again jumped into a relationship that wasn't right for me. This relationship lasted 15 years. Oh, and two more kids. The reason this relationship lasted longer is because I actually married this guy. I believe in keeping my promises and marriage is a very big promise. I finally ended the marriage because my spouse had become a danger to me and my kids.

Now I have been single two years and I am loving it. I figured out along the way that I didn't need the serious relationship to have sex. I just need to like the person, have respect for the person and of course be sexually compatible.

I am single because I do not want to share my space yet. I am single because I don't want to have to consult with someone else before I spend money. I am single because I don't have to shave my legs if I don't feel like it. I am single because I like dating. (okay, I do shave for that, lol) I am single...because I haven't met a guy yet that I would want to give up my freedom for.
 Street King
Joined: 5/25/2008
Msg: 65
How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 4/11/2009 8:50:18 PM
Being single is to much fun. I love it. No worries from a woman. Being in a relationship is to much trouble for what it's worth. Even when you find the right person for you it's still a sacrifice I am not planning to take nor am willing to take. If it were possible I'd stay single forever - there's so much to do; so much life to explore- why ruin a good thing. But I know eventually that's going to change and I will be in a relationship. But until then not being burdened by my want for a woman is something I most highly cherish and definitely will not give up because in this point in my life I have no purpose for a intimate relationship with a woman. For now I'm just focused on developing friendships with members of the opposite sex. I'm not a prescriber to "if a relationship develops then we can go from there", I'm more on the " let's develop a friendship and that's it" angle because right now I believe that the growth that comes from solidarity is much more important than anything a woman can bring to the table. But like I said, eventually that's going to change for me and my thoughts/views will transition and then transform into something completely different. For yeah, I love being single right now but I sure don't want to be single forever. It's a great ideal but it isn't realistic or practical because there's a certain growth/level of productivity that only I can achieve through an intimate relational intimacy with a woman in the form of a monogamous relationship.
 El_Mariachi
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 66
How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 4/11/2009 8:52:45 PM
Part of me freaking LOVES it to bits.

I don't have to explain anything I do to anyone. Check with anyone. Share my stuff with anyone. Or take anyone into consideration when I make decisions.

There could be hundred of reasons why.. no matter!
 SWSpice
Joined: 8/23/2007
Msg: 67
How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 4/11/2009 9:11:19 PM
Oh come on. We're all a bit delusional about how we think we're the "best" and deserve nothing less than one step down from Brad Pitt or Cameron Diaz. (if you admire those folks.)

Single is easy and non-confrontational. Less worry and fewer birthday presents to purchase. But not the way I want to spend the rest of my life.

I enjoy my singleness and at the same time realize that in order to get the fullness I want out of life, I have to venture forth once again, be brave, get out of my comfort zone and alas, take more risks. Some of us do, some don't.
 Bluesman2008
Joined: 4/2/2008
Msg: 68
How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 4/12/2009 1:51:00 AM
I've found being single is very satisfying and rewarding. Still, it's nice to have your back scratched once in a while. Relationship makes what's good better.
 DeagleNINja2
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 69
How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 4/12/2009 5:23:36 AM
Hi, m-my name is D-D-Deaglen-ninja and I'm single...
"HI DEAGLENINJA!"


Why so down on being single OP?
It's not like it's a curse or something yanno?

I've always said I've been blessed to know and be close to so many wonderful women in my life. So why did all the relationships end?

Sometimes two people can have everything the other needs but still not be right for each other. I think most people overlook timing as an important factor in whether or not it 'will work out', but both people have to be at the right moment of their lives. Who hasn't experienced an unwanted split from someone who later tries to rekindle the romance only to discover that your feelings have changed?

Confused yet?

Break ups are always going to suck.
To varying degrees these people come to be part of our lives and even our souls. It takes time for our hearts to fill the hole that they leave.

That's why I try to always look on the brightside and stay upbeat. I've never been the type to automatically hate an ex as some seem too. In fact, I've remained friendly with almost all of my exes. They are all great human beings who have helped me be ready for the one who I will eventually find. Out of these so-called 'failed' relationships have come some of the best memories of my life and hopefully lessons that will make me a better man to the one I'm meant to share the rest of my life with.
 motownmaniax
Joined: 8/13/2006
Msg: 70
How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 7/26/2010 5:17:18 PM
Was trying to find an open thread with this theme so wouldn’t start a redundant one.

There are many reasons people are single or can’t seem to find the “one”. Just being single should not be a scarlet letter for most.

However ...

I get rather irritated when nice looking women who are NOT suffering from lack of choice or attention constantly lament how they can’t find anyone. There is NO ONE in this whole dating world you’re not attracted to?

I have one friend on FB that just posted a message crying about lack of guys. She’s gorgeous and engaging. If she sent out “any” serious signal that she’s looking I bet a hundred guys would be lining up at her door this very minute. If she didn’t like "any" of them she could very easily contact men she “is” interested in and many would fall over themselves to try and date her.

But she doesn't.

I don’t date men so can’t speak for women’s experiences with my gender, but by direct experience I’ve found attractive women are way too caught up in the execrable dating norm that men are supposed to pursue. “Most” women that consider themselves very attractive have almost a disdain for doing the heavy lifting required in trying to find someone compatible. I really think they believe Mr Right is supposed to fall out of the sky and land in their lap.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 71
How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 7/26/2010 6:05:52 PM

How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?


No need to talk or explain,,,,,the reasons are obvious if you have eyes and can actually see. Just look around,,,,,,,

r e a l s l o w w w w w.
 scorpiomover
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 72
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How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 7/26/2010 8:34:20 PM
People who've known me a long time, have all said the same thing about my biggest problem in life, that directly impacts on getting into an LTR. So I think it's a pretty clear reason why I'm single.

It's not anything bad. But it's something that women seem to back off from.

So I'm disinclined to mention it.

I'm working on improving it, as best I can. So hopefully, I'll resolve it.
 FunkTheMillenium
Joined: 7/11/2010
Msg: 73
How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 7/26/2010 8:55:37 PM
i've had a bad run with women so i ask myself why am i looking most of the time lol.
i dont get asked the question, so its something of not much relevance anyway.
 GWSmith
Joined: 12/18/2008
Msg: 74
How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 7/26/2010 10:28:39 PM
Well the in the last relationship we sort of drifted apart; the romantic aspect was gone so we are now just friends. I'm working on a few thing sin my situation before I start dating again. Thats pretty much it...
 tiltowhirl
Joined: 6/6/2010
Msg: 75
How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 7/26/2010 11:05:52 PM
I'm still single because, honestly, i'm happy where I am right now. I like to think of myself as a whole person that doesn't need someone in their life, but would like one in their life. There is a big difference between the two.

Unfortunately, and I don't mean to make sweeping generalizations or anything, but some folks have baggage that does not stow easily in the overhead bin. Or create drama in their own lives. I've learned to recognize it and hopefully steer clear of it.

That's why.
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