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 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 160
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How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?Page 6 of 15    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)
Yes I hear you irishgirl.

the guys that call or text you and expect you to drop everything and respond straight away or they feel a rejection or a disinterest on your part. I prefer men that share their feelings actually but not use me as a cheap therapist or a shoulder to cry on all the time.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 161
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How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 11/22/2015 7:35:50 PM
castlehillsmile

I prefer to avoid any situation where there are only couples and me. Weddings, birthdays or whatever. I have accepted invitations in the past out of politeness but now I just prefer to stay at home. The feeling of loneliness and being left out is painful and as for going anywhere where an ex and his latest woman would be, no way!!

This New Years Eve I will invite my single friends for supper and a harbour viewing of fireworks on the central coast where I am fortunate enough to live right on the water.
 geekgrrrl
Joined: 1/28/2009
Msg: 162
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How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 11/22/2015 8:01:30 PM
I am still single because I have not yet found the one who is right for me. It's just that simple.
 Olivoil
Joined: 5/3/2015
Msg: 163
How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 11/22/2015 8:02:43 PM
"I prefer to avoid any situation where there are only couples and me. Weddings, birthdays or whatever".

That's a good suggestion, unless you are someone who can work a room, or hall by yourself.
My son's wedding, and my younger son's graduation were particularly hurtful.
 tangofish
Joined: 6/16/2015
Msg: 164
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How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 11/22/2015 8:18:14 PM
I'm single, because every women I've ever dated was either insane, a b****, or evil.

-says the narcissist.
 mike11092
Joined: 11/2/2015
Msg: 165
How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 11/22/2015 8:22:48 PM
So...I'm going to go against the grain here:

I won't say "still" single.

Single is a status one goes in and out of.

I'm single AGAIN, because I'm a freaking lunatic. That's why. And because when I say I like hiking, and paintball, and fishing and a plethora of other activities, I MEAN it. Which means, after a long day at work, my first thoughts aren't of the couch and a movie.

I don't need to do any of these things alone, either. I mean, I can, but it's not required.

Add in a bit of bitter honesty.

Mix with the Army's parting gift (PTSD)

Season equally with emotional unavailability and an above average IQ...

And you'll have yourself a ****ail of Mike.

....



Edit to add


Seriously? It censored c o c k tail. Grow up, website.
 castlehillsmile
Joined: 11/4/2015
Msg: 166
How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 11/22/2015 8:25:36 PM
I can and do work the room by myself.
My extrovert comes out.

When all couples and the more recent times when my ex and his partner are there, I have tried very hard to make it easier for mutual friends so they do not have to choose who to invite. They can invite both of us. I will be civil but not go out of my way to spend time with them.

If an option I go and played with the kids.
Seems to be OK when dancing with a child.
A good way of avoiding the question: "Why are you still single"

NYE and a 50th birthday are not such events.
Weddings? Have not had to endure that one solo.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 167
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How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 11/22/2015 8:28:09 PM

LetitiaLeGrande
I prefer to avoid any situation where there are only couples and me.


Olivoil
That's a good suggestion, unless you are someone who can work a room, or hall by yourself.
My son's wedding, and my younger son's graduation were particularly hurtful.


If you go back and re-read what Diana (castlehillsmile) wrote, she was doing a very good job of working the room, until she let her guard down.

These days, I sort of split the difference. If I’m feeling secure and self-confident, then I go, and work the room. If not (and everyone has down days), then I stay home.

Back before I got married, in my late 20’s to early 30’s, I was working on a career. Occasionally I had to have that plus 1 for some function related to work / career. I found and cultivated a friend who would be my plus 1, and I performed the same function for her.


castlehillsmile
NYE and a 50th birthday are not such events.

Agreed, New Years Eve is difficult. Not quite sure what to do this year. Last year, I stayed home, worked on a computer problem. Year before last, I was dating someone. This year, who knows, I might be dating someone. Such things tend to come and go quickly in my life.
 ShowboatSupreme
Joined: 11/10/2015
Msg: 168
How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 11/22/2015 8:39:12 PM
When I was in the Navy, I thought a cruise ship would be the ideal spot to meet women.

I found out cruise ships were predominately occupied by Newlywed and Newly Dead folks...
 geekgrrrl
Joined: 1/28/2009
Msg: 169
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How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 11/22/2015 8:40:02 PM
TangoFish said
I'm single, because every women I've ever dated was either insane, a b****, or evil.


Why place blame on those who wanted something other then what you wanted? Hopefully you are joking.
 tangofish
Joined: 6/16/2015
Msg: 170
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How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 11/22/2015 8:41:07 PM
I was, "says the narcissist" was the punch line.

I think we're the same person winter.
 winter_hyacinth
Joined: 11/14/2015
Msg: 171
How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 11/22/2015 8:42:13 PM
Because vulnerability terrifies me.
Because I'm carrying waaay too much emotional baggage for someone my age.
Because I'm scared of someone making me feel.
 mike11092
Joined: 11/2/2015
Msg: 172
How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 11/22/2015 8:44:49 PM

Because I'm scared of someone making me feel.


This...made me...feel a certain way...
 geekgrrrl
Joined: 1/28/2009
Msg: 173
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How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 11/22/2015 8:55:41 PM
winter_hyacinth said
Because vulnerability terrifies me.
Because I'm carrying waaay too much emotional baggage for someone my age.
Because I'm scared of someone making me feel.


" Love me for this moment, release me from the game,
a world of pink sand castles melt in the pouring rain,
all the wonderful fairy tales taken for a ride,
my eyes widen to the truth, I burn deep inside..."
 Szaszaspasz
Joined: 11/13/2012
Msg: 174
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How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 11/22/2015 9:24:38 PM

As much as I would like to be in a relationship, its the kind of relationship I want doesn't work for most women. Its hard to find some one than can accept that I need my alone time.


I need too much down time and alone time to recharge. I am in the same boat as jrb1979
 Viper1j
Joined: 2/6/2015
Msg: 175
How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 11/23/2015 1:41:24 AM
Simple.

I'm single because she died. Had a great marriage, two wonderful daughters, and while I was married, the dating world changed.

Or maybe, the dating world just moved on while I was busy being happy in my marriage. But I regret none of it. We had a good run. And maybe that's all you're supposed to get. One ticket per customer.

Now, I don't really look for Miss Right. I do spend an occasional evening with Miss Right Now, and I've pretty much resigned myself to that.

Because my Miss Right died years ago.
 hope1069
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 176
How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 11/23/2015 7:48:23 AM
First and foremost, I am truly sorry for your loss. reading what you said is giving me hope that true love still exists.
because I am not looking for Mr. right now, it does not fulfill me in any way shape or form. Never tried it because it is just not in me and seeing other people do it around me, they are more miserable then anything after the fact. Therefore, I count my blessings in the meantime and refuse to conform to the " new dating" rules. I know for a fact that it does happen to fall in love twice or several times in a lifetime, except it will be different and that is the way it should be as I believe each love is unique as we all are :) good luck.
 Chromis1
Joined: 9/9/2015
Msg: 177
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How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 11/23/2015 11:46:38 AM

But I regret none of it. We had a good run. And maybe that's all you're supposed to get. One ticket per customer.
..... Because my Miss Right died years ago.


Just my opinion: Don't allow yourself to be trapped into that way of thinking. Finish your grieving, find love again.
 castlehillsmile
Joined: 11/4/2015
Msg: 178
How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 11/23/2015 11:52:15 AM
Dear Viper,

I agree with chromis1.

I know and have attempted to date some absolutely lovely men like you who still love and adore their wife, even though she has passed.
Some men even have a 'shrine' to her and a couple have burst into tears at the dining table.
Despite this when I am asked out by a widower who seems nice I still go with hopeful anticipation.
Sorry for your loss but I am also sorry that you are only open to Miss Right Now.

A difficult question for you.
If you have a daughter and she really liked a widower and wanted to explore the possibility of a relationship with him, would you encourage her?
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 179
How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 11/23/2015 12:45:28 PM

The reason I am still single is many reasons. Part of it is, like many have said, is I kind of like being able to do what I want when I want. To go along with that, I also like traveling a lot and sometimes I like just to go alone. The one girl I went out with got offended cause I like traveling alone sometimes. As much as I would like to be in a relationship, its the kind of relationship I want doesn't work for most women. Its hard to find some one than can accept that I need my alone time.

I identify with a lot of this. In a relationship I am not one to want to see someone every day - to me a balanced life is part friends, part family, part SO (if it applies), part alone time, part work, etc. Too much of one of those things at the expense of the others is usually a bad recipe.

And when I want time away from others (and that means everyone) and the other person makes it about them being rejected by me it really drives me nuts, I can't do that for long at all. Different people enjoy different levels of interaction - mine level of it happens to be low and there comes a time in larger crowds of people where I just wander off and find a corner to recharge.
 rennips1949
Joined: 3/6/2015
Msg: 180
How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 11/23/2015 2:06:14 PM
First, let me make it clear that I was not suggesting that I, or anyone else, finds the question"offensive".

And if we are going to quote the Eagles
"Though it might take years
To see through all these tears
If I lose or win
Gonna try and love again"
 TheEvolutionOfJessi
Joined: 8/29/2015
Msg: 181
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How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 11/23/2015 8:30:52 PM

NYE and a 50th birthday are not such events.


Castles/Dianna, I reckon one year you should book yerself a ticket down here to see the END of the Sydney to Hobart... and then venture on to Taste of Tasmania for the NYE fireworx show... That's a New Years you'll have just to love and indulge yourself... and you never know, might meet a nice sailing man that way.... {all the top notch sailing folks have the upper level of Princess Wharf building}

My boy and I almost always go to the 'family' section of Hobart to watch the earlier hours fireworx and then head home to let his 'new years nymphs' find their way to our house to drop off his 'new year' gifts...
This year will be hard for me, as last year we had 'the bloke' newly in our lives... my first 'new year kiss' in since before Y2K... it's going to be hard going back to being asleep before midnight this year.

Oh yeah, another 'reason' I'm single (again...) I'm too much of a 'misfit' to conform to mainstream..... I do not follow the crowd - doing what everybody else is doing...

As I joke to the men:
As a welfare recipient mother/teacher the 'government' is my "husband and boss", paying me far too little for the awesome work I do...
those $$$ are taken from the Australian taxpayers who do not get to say who the $$$ go to... so we're ALL screwed....
And if I wanted the 'usual' lies, disrespect and boundary pushings that are generally associated with men, I'd just consult my child...
So what else can a 'suitor' offer me besides a d!ck and a headache???
 ShowboatSupreme
Joined: 11/10/2015
Msg: 182
How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 11/23/2015 8:33:05 PM
^^^
Exactly. Lots of that mentality.

What can a man offer besides sex, since you can get sex anywhere?

Meh.

I'd rather build a nest for a thirty something if I'm gonna entertain that sh!t

vvvv

That's funny. You found only sex and I found debt.

Surely, there must be a...middle ground?

Maybe find guys that offer more then sex and I'll find gals with an equal income?

hahahahhaha

Good old fashioned Mars/Venus battles. Gotta love it.
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 183
How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 11/23/2015 8:39:41 PM
^^^No man has ever offered me anything except sex though. Just to keep it real here.
 Whatsamatterbaby
Joined: 11/7/2015
Msg: 184
How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 11/23/2015 8:50:07 PM
^ Oh, puh-lease. Wait until they offer you everything EXCEPT sex - that's when things start to get confusing. Or maybe it's just the dementia :S
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