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 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 185
How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?Page 7 of 15    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)
Clooney, no battles here. I'm the last person to participate in any battles. I'm just telling the truth. I'm 36 years old, and no man has ever taken me on a weekend getaway, or bought me jewelry, or did any of that. So I do it for myself, and I'm single. I haven't seen anything much different, either. The providers in my family have been my grandmother, and my mother. There are no men here.
 ShowboatSupreme
Joined: 11/10/2015
Msg: 186
How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 11/23/2015 8:58:51 PM
It's all good.

I've taken entrepreneurs lacking health insurance on weekend getaways and bought them jewelry.

Apparently I didn't own a home like their ex did, who also let them keep their paltry earnings to themselves. Bummer.

In the end, I'll budget for sex and not a relationship.

Cause...some men only have sex to offer to some women.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 187
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How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 11/23/2015 9:12:23 PM
With the holidays coming up, it gets tough. I learned to look at it this way-

I don't have to-
Fight the shopping crowds.
Look at a really UGLY credit card bill in January.
Figure out buying something for someone, only to have them return it the day after.
Get out in the cold, drive on snow packed roads.
Eat mystery veggie sides smothered in Cheese Whiz, or marshmallows. (That's cold)
Deal with sugar charged, cranky kids.
Not having to explain why I'm not seeing anyone.
Getting gifts I hate.
Overeating- and them being miserable after.

On the flip side,
I can work the Holidays, and make the big bucks. Then someone else can spend time with their families.
I can relax, and just treat it like a day off
I get to eat what I like.
I saved a ton of money.

Oh, and I don't watch the Christmas programs- They all suck.
 Viper1j
Joined: 2/6/2015
Msg: 188
How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 11/23/2015 9:32:32 PM
The dog likes the way I cook turkey, so it's all good.
 castlehillsmile
Joined: 11/4/2015
Msg: 189
How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 11/23/2015 9:35:10 PM
Come to think of it.
No man has ever paid for a weekend getaway for me and him.
Husband/wife does not count as it is 'our' money going into a joint account.
Very few have ever even paid for both of us to eat a meal.

I have paid for a couple of weekends away.
They just did not have the money and I wanted to go.
The same goes for show and concert tickets.
I generally buy 2 tickets and then look around for someone to accompany me when the time comes.


Christmas does not bother me.
I will be spending Christmas Eve with my mother who has dementia and then my, now, regular Christmas Day serving lunch to the homeless in Kings Cross.
The best street party EVER.
I generally get dressed up as an angel with a hot pink feather boa, pink feather wings and a halo.
My entire ensemble gets divvied up by the end of the day.
Boa to a transvestite, wings to a little girl and hat/hao to a bag lady as a guide.

One year I got 3 marriage proposals.
Another highlight was dancing to 'It's raining men with a male gay prostitute, drug user.'
Not sure who gets the biggest high out of the day.
Me or them.
Or should I say. There is no us and them at Christmas.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 190
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How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 11/24/2015 1:03:07 AM
It would depend on how long the wife has been departed whether I would consider dating a widower. It is very hard to compete with a ghost and often they have sprouted wings and a halo and only the positive things are remembered once they are gone.

I certainly would not move into a house that had reminders of the departed spouse everywhere. We would have to get our own new abode.
 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 191
How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 11/24/2015 5:20:45 AM

Oh, and I don't watch the Christmas programs- They all suck.


Hey! How the Grinch Stole Christmas is a classic!

(You can tell because I used three exclamation points!)
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 192
How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 11/24/2015 10:31:59 AM
an observation from the other side of the fence:

Decades ago, a sexy female friend of mine took me with her on vacation--her sister owned a house on Cape Cod. I wondered out loud why she didn't take her hot hot hot bf with her instead (and away from all his hot hot hot female friends).

"Oh, he'll just get drunk and hang around the cottage and ruin it. I want to go out, have fun, visit the beaches etc. You're perfect for that"

(it was off season, we actually did have the place to ourselves, no traffic). Yes, I'm sure I know the question you're thinking of asking her, and no, I didn't bother to ask it. I figured I knew why I wasn't her type.

Years later, a coworker who turned me down for dates asked for some recommendations on where her and her hot bf (who other women chased) should go on nights out. They always ended up in bars, and from my Monday conversations, I always seemed to find fun places and events on the weekends to go to.

Right now I have a friend from highschool as a hang out buddy. She's hoping the cop she dates (don't know if he's hot)turns into a bf, but he seems to only take her out Friday nights to the bar (probably helps avoid the fact that the conversation runs out. I know I don't like to spend too many hours with her, it used to happen to me but now I can steer the convo into how current affairs are affecting the stock market). With her kids visiting Daddy on the weekends, she's home alone and emails me to see what i'm doing and can she invite herself along since it seems what I do is kinda fun?

I could go on. Why am I single? I think the mirror tells me. Or, maybe these attractive ladies share some personality trait in common, something they don't find in me.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 193
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How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 11/24/2015 10:47:24 AM

gtomustang
… couple of stories about hot chicks who friend zoned him …
I could go on. Why am I single? I think the mirror tells me. Or, maybe these attractive ladies share some personality trait in common, something they don't find in me.

When I was younger, I had that experience a few times. Very hot chicks, enjoyed hanging out with me, did not want to date me / get physical with me.

What to do? Start talking about other women that you are dating.

And for god’s sake, if you’re not dating someone else, start doing so immediately!

I have said this before, and took a verbal beating from some of the ladies, but I lived over it then, I will now. You have to start dating somewhere. Keep lowering your standards, one notch at a time, until you get dates. Then, once you are dating, move back up the food chain. It’s much easier to get dates if you’re already getting dates. If you haven’t been out on a real date in 6 months or more, the odds on scoring a date are really, really slim.

Why? Women can smell desperation from a mile away, and they hate it. Absolutely, positively loath it.
 spot4username
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 194
How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 11/24/2015 11:05:58 AM

If you haven’t been out on a real date in 6 months or more, the odds on scoring a date are really, really slim


Welp. There we have it. *throws in the towel*
 ShowboatSupreme
Joined: 11/10/2015
Msg: 195
How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 11/24/2015 11:10:49 AM
There's always time to get back in the saddle.

What's your secret Ohenry with the 4s?

Vics mentholatum?
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 196
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How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 11/24/2015 2:10:20 PM

spot4username
Welp. There we have it. *throws in the towel*

I seem to remember when you had a picture on your profile, and you were rather cute. Yes, looking at your profile, your problem is being isolated on that island.

Leave that island, come back to civilization, men will flock to you! (well, at least one I know of – me!)


ShowboatSupreme
There's always time to get back in the saddle.

What's your secret Ohenry with the 4s?

Vics mentholatum?

That advice wasn’t meant for you, we all know you’ve had plenty of dates recently. Hell, you had a SO not too long ago. Sorry it didn’t last, but you don’t need any help with dating.
 spot4username
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 197
How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 11/24/2015 2:25:30 PM

Leave that island, come back to civilization


Well right now I don't even have a car that will start.

I am marooned.

See what I did there?
 castlehillsmile
Joined: 11/4/2015
Msg: 198
How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 11/24/2015 2:35:18 PM

If you haven’t been out on a real date in 6 months or more, the odds on scoring a date are really, really slim.


^^^ Henry, if this is true and it also applies to women, I am doomed.
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 199
How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 11/24/2015 2:36:45 PM

Leave that island, come back to civilization


Well right now I don't even have a car that will start.

I am marooned.


Didn't Gilligan and the Professor build a pedal car out of bamboo?
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 200
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How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 11/24/2015 3:02:53 PM
Grab the shovels and come plant my a$$. I haven't had a date in 4 years.
 sun___flower
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 201
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How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 11/24/2015 5:53:04 PM
PurpleRider, I'm with 2ufo - have you ever seen How The Grinch Stole Christmas? (The original animated version.)
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 202
How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 11/24/2015 6:01:39 PM
darn it, henry's right again. Even I got a woman interested once (well sorta, and obviously she was already somewhat interested beforehand) by talking about her competition. And yes, I should lower my standards more--nothing makes for success, like some success. I'd just hate it if they ended up liking me far more than I fancied them. and right now, as a single, my life sure ain't complicated.

Funny how we reach an age where we take pleasure in the simple things--bowel regularity, lack of complication in life, empty parking space near the door.

Ironic that in business, advertising your status gets you business, but in dating, letting people know you're single, doesn't help you get much business.

as for Spottie, I remember her photos. Henry's right, either its that island or she has the breath of Death, b/c otherwise her looks should get her a waiting list of "maroons" interested in her saddle.

(hey, didya see what I did there?)
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 203
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How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 11/25/2015 8:23:56 AM


If you haven’t been out on a real date in 6 months or more, the odds on scoring a date are really, really slim.


castlehillsmile
^^^ Henry, if this is true and it also applies to women, I am doomed.

Diana, you are exaggerating. We all know you were recently stood up for a third date (sorry about mentioning it again), but that means you had two previous dates. Yes, you’re having trouble getting a relationship, but not getting dates. Trying to put together a relationship is MUCH harder than just getting a date or getting lucky.


gtomustang
And yes, I should lower my standards more--nothing makes for success, like some success. I'd just hate it if they ended up liking me far more than I fancied them. and right now, as a single, my life sure ain't complicated.


Funny how we reach an age where we take pleasure in the simple things--bowel regularity, lack of complication in life, empty parking space near the door.

One of the reasons, possibly the biggest single reason, that I enjoy so much success at this game is the lack of competition. Women in my age bracket (at least the attractive ones) start off wanting someone slim and athletic and good looking. After a few months / years with no dates, all of a sudden I look much better to them.

The reason I have so little competition is exemplified in the words quoted above. Men quit trying, they don’t think it is worth the effort. I don’t see myself ever giving up. I like women, they look good, they smell good, I love holding a woman in my arms. There is nothing better in this world than holding a woman in your arms, slow dancing, moving in time to the music, feeling her body against yours, smelling her hair. Wondering, “Will she? Is tonight the night? God, I hope so!!”

Gto, you are too young to give up!!! You are a full generation younger than me (19 years), you need to climb back on your steed and give chase to some of these women. If you don’t think the end result is worth the effort of the game, then maybe you should get your testosterone checked or something. (Sorry if that remark was too personal.)
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 204
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How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 11/25/2015 8:42:25 AM
And speaking of women wanting better than me, here is a profile I ran across yesterday over on “The Other Free Dating Site”.
The woman states her age as 54, but looking at the pictures, she must have had a hard life. Then looking at the profile, I see these words:


I am actually 64 and am interested in younger men, but that is 45-65...thanks to all you young men who message me, it's sweet, but I prefer a healthy, active, stable man over 45 and preferably 50.

Okay, she’s the same age as me (64), unless she wrote those words more than a year ago. And she lied about her age because she wants younger men (understandable). But she does leave the door open to men from 45 to 65, so what the hell, I send her a message, it’s free. And she is attractive (for 64, she’s attractive, for 54 not so much).

And she answers, right away.


I'm not interested in overweight men

Okay, honesty is good, I can deal with that. But I know, from talking to so many women, here in the forums, in Meetup groups, out and about in real life, this is NOT going to work out for her. No point in my trying to tell her, let life educate her, just as it does everyone.

The only way she is going to date 45 to 50 year old men who are slim and athletic, is to go on Ashley Madison or Adult Friend Finder and offer up the cookie on the first date.

Hmmm… Thinking about this more, maybe that’s what she’s doing, only not explicity? Actually, that makes more sense. You just have to read between the lines? I just now went back and re-read her profile, very carefully. No clues that I can see. This is one of those interesting little puzzles, you’re curious, but you’re never going to know how it turns out.
 Sweetness_and_Light
Joined: 11/10/2015
Msg: 205
How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 11/25/2015 8:51:10 AM
I am very open to discussing this and I will tell dates if they ask (and maybe that's why I don't get second dates.)

I quit dating at age 39 and decided that I wanted a mate at age 64. No one asked me for a date in all those years because I completely ignored men and would not stand still long enough to let them talk to me. After awhile it became second nature keeping them at bay and I guess I am completely invisible to them now.

I have been out with 13 men (courtesy of POF!) but I do not count them as dates at all. 13 one date stands. I should be very grateful and I am, in a way. But I am also angry at myself for not contemplating this sooner, while I was still somewhat attractive. It is too late now, I am sure my looks combined with my terrible personality have made me a pariah.

There might (just might) be enough single old men in my area, but none that seem to want me (or I them.)

And yes, today (with the holidays looming and my mother inching ever closer to death) I am feeling alone and mightily sorry for myself. Joining a church and volunteering aren't doing one bit of good assuaging the loneliness and disgust I feel inside. Maybe it is too soon for the churching to take effect, idk.

It is really discouraging reading Castlehill's story and then along comes Ohenry and I want to just throw in the towel. I guess I have in a way. Since my profile got deleted I haven't put the original back up. It was actually starting to work there for awhile. The new one is just a placeholder because if I decide to become more active in the forums I am sure it will be nuked too. That does not help dating prospects, getting your identity and messages deleted like that. Fuk whoever is responsible for that shite.
 Chromis1
Joined: 9/9/2015
Msg: 206
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How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 11/25/2015 9:28:24 AM

It is really discouraging reading Castlehill's story and then along comes Ohenry and I want to just throw in the towel. I guess I have in a way. Since my profile got deleted I haven't put the original back up. It was actually starting to work there for awhile.


Then it should work again, yes?


That does not help dating prospects, getting your identity and messages deleted like that. Fuk whoever is responsible for that shite.


Went on a couple of dates with a woman whose profile was nuked for no apparent reason whatsoever. Never participated in the forums, then one day ... gone. It is very disconcerting, I agree.
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 9/9/2015
Msg: 207
How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 11/25/2015 9:51:39 AM

The only way she is going to date 45 to 50 year old men who are slim and athletic, is to go on Ashley Madison or Adult Friend Finder and offer up the cookie on the first date.


um, her lying about her age and wanting younger is one thing... (and she is not doing herself any favors starting out that way.

That being said, I am not sure you are saying what you are saying because she's old... or because she's well... quite large herself.

If she's 400 pounds and wants a fit athletic guy, yeah she will have issues.

from my own personal experience, a person can be older, not athletic in build (though athletic in physical activity and fit in actuality) and hear from mostly athletic or thin. the one does not dictate the other.


But again; if she doesn't take care of herself and is expecting those who do to fall all over her; she will be in for a pretty rude awakening.


a guy or a woman, as long as they are the best themselves that they can be, physically and mentally, then hold their head up high and make no apologies for being who they are; and FIND the best in each other.

Once people stop looking at themselves and start to appreciate others rather than fearing or resenting others?

the options will open up a lot. Even those without positive. Though it might take a few week break from online to get their mind in a good place.

Don't let people define who you are and what you can expect. Change yourself; and you will change your ability to relate to other people.


VVVVV


VERY well put LIR. Agree 100%.
 Ladyinred4755
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 208
How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 11/25/2015 9:52:21 AM
For what it's worth, be it only 2 cents, here is my opinion. LOL ( the question was asked, I'll answer)

However married or single, or with a SO, I am, I have no qualms discussing my status. Who cares?

Now to give my 2 cents worth, regarding some content to this thread and another.

I have said it before and I'll say it again. To each his own when it comes to choosing a date or choosing our mate. Physical beauty/handsomeness, is only skin deep. Men or women can attach a lot of importance on physical appearance. Personal preference.

If one is lucky enough to find a really hot guy/gal AND intelligence kindness, humor, etc etc. ALL rolled into one? Whho hoo!

If NOT ? My definition of HOT?
Take the attitude of Sir Henry, the wit of GTO, eric's charm, Fullmoonguy's humor, Purplerider's -ride (LOL) , the former Mr Clooney's wine, (minus the orange fingertips), Chromis's sense of style, and several others here in the Forums, for various reasons, and I maybe forgetting someone, (sorry), and THAT is, in my opinion, damn near perfect!
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 209
How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 11/25/2015 10:14:29 AM
Thank you, LIR :) I think a few of us fellows fall into the friendzone b/c we have one or two things, and in the longscope, that's a compliment--we're good enough for platonic intimacy. could be worse.

Re:Henry's response:

A lack of competition does help. In my age range, most of the ladies who can catch an eye and/or attention are...still married. Divorced ones tend to still have a child at home (in the case of my activity bud, that means she's only free on weekends), and i'm not thouroughly into the "premade family" routine (i'm sure that also killed me in my twenties and thirties, not looking to start a family, but being taught that women don't like one night stands). Also, at my age, there's still plenty of ladies hitting the gym and slimming down again. So, they can be picky, and want a fellow with the same dedication if not good looks. I won't fault them for that. a woman who feels she can sleep with the hottie on Friday, and go to events with me on the weekend, well, it doesn't do me much favor, but I get where she's coming from. If she can't find one guy who is the total package, why not spread it around?

Not having to work customer service anymore, I sure don't interact with people like I used to (when I was barely getting relationships), and I never found "cold selling" to work for me in getting a date. so I should get out more and build the connections that might lead somewhere--assuming a lot of women put personality far ahead of looks, but is there really that many of them? even in this forum, my observations are....not really. sorry ladies, but generally you seem to put up with a lot of nonsense from the guys you've been with.

After 13 yrs of dry spell, and listening to other humans' idiosyncracies, I do wonder...do I really want to be a part of their idiocy? that's sounds snobbish, I know. its easy to get along, debate with someone I don't agree with, and then turn off the computer and walk away to do what I enjoy. Beautiful women still get me some wood, but then some of them open their mouth and its like....wow, did you just say that? Two hours of that to go thru to get a few minutes of orgasm, maybe i'll just go home and abuse myself--then I can spend the two hours doing what I actually want :)

Had I better luck in dating before this, I'm sure I would have a better attitude. My dry spells tended to last 3-5 years, and that wasn't from lack of effort. I put in more effort then, than I did now. and back then, more ladies were single, I wasn't bald, yada yada. Chances are, a lady's mindset is different than when she was 30 yrs old, the last time I got one interested. then again, maybe they aren't. In my decades of experience, "Getting lucky" was truly a matter of luck. I've been a flirt since at least 5th grade. The girls that age liked the attention, but it led nowhere--they just ran to the hot fellows and tried to get the same flirtful reaction from those boys. So, I suppose in my mind, I tried and got no results--what has changed that would make that change?

No doubt, prior success makes one think there will be future success. Meanwhile, the last four relationships I had, I got from meeting someone inside the country and boarding a plane to reach them. who couldn't win with those odds? Not to say i think i would be a total failure, i'm sure with enough effort, the law of averages will smile my way. what I really need isn't the testosterone, its another T--thick skin :)

Its true, one can't win if one refuses to play. I just hate wasting my time, is all. I could do other things with that time that I know are fun for me. I've made a decent enough life on my own, after decades of trial and error. What I really want is a woman who amazes me. oh, a pretty face and a flat belly are great to look at across a table, but a face lit up with intellect and a body energized with joie d'vivre is quite attractive. And, no offense to the ladies, but a woman who is good looking, and intelligent, and outgoing, and has an amazing personality, around here at least....is married. Why would anyone let her go?

another factor i'll toss out there so this isn't all about me--I don't drink. never did. i'm told that, too, can be a factor. people who don't fit well together, can still go to a bar, get tipsy, and then nature apparently takes over. Being drunk and horny seems to cover up the fact two humans can't carry a roaring intellectual debate into the wee hours.

I have to concur with the post below me. I'm sure there are ladies who are in the same boat. there's an old joke, single people come home, see what's in the fridge, and go to bed. married people see what's in bed, and go to the fridge :) we humans are forvever searching for that happy medium, eh?

but misspelling....I wasn't even on the spelling team, and yet when I see it in a profile, its like fingernails on a chalkboard. good gravy :)
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