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 Sweetness_and_Light
Joined: 11/10/2015
Msg: 210
How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?Page 8 of 15    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)
Reply to chromis (msg 243 or thereabouts)


Then it should work again, yes?


maybe so, I should get off my lASSitude and put it back up and change my username but I've got the holiday blues, I think.

I am easily given to despair it seems (and especially when I look at the pic of you and your cute doggie).

All the guys I would want to date are here in the forums and by definition, out of my geographical area. I think I'd faint were I to find someone from my area in here. Most of the profiles I read have had all the care a 3rd grader could give them (and the spelling and grammar to boot), and littered with dead fish and pics of motorcycles and cars and grandkids. (Ugh, those men look like pedos)

Old age snuck up on me when I was not looking.

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

So you aren't going to tell which scenario is yours?
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 211
How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 11/25/2015 10:49:04 AM
The way I see it, there's no discussing why a person is single. A person is single because either they haven't found someone yet to make them un-single, or they have no desire to be un-single. Simple. The only confusion is when someone is bitter because of a past failed relationship and is carrying a lot baggage, and claim they are looking for a relationship and a perfect life partner without dealing with their past first. Or if they choose option B-staying single forever-because they can't get over a previous failed relationship, and take that bitterness to their grave.
 JujuO12
Joined: 8/18/2015
Msg: 212
How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 11/25/2015 11:12:24 AM

Okay, she’s the same age as me (64), unless she wrote those words more than a year ago. And she lied about her age because she wants younger men (understandable). But she does leave the door open to men from 45 to 65, so what the hell, I send her a message, it’s free. And she is attractive (for 64, she’s attractive, for 54 not so much).


SMH
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 213
How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 11/25/2015 11:28:48 AM

If NOT ? My definition of HOT?


Fullmoonguy's humor,


and THAT is, in my opinion, damn near perfect!


Muchas gracias.

And HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
 SLAFFA
Joined: 8/13/2007
Msg: 214
How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 11/25/2015 11:37:09 AM
Nadda problem for me. After my fair share of LTRs that "concluded" for one reason or another, I now search for and insist on the TRIfecta.

Working against me is that I am supremely well equipped to live alone and honestly, my 4 legged BFF gives me most of what I need in a companion. But she only wants to receive massages and w/o hands is not very good at giving them. And her doggie kisses are given with enthusiasm but w/o variety...

As far as the Trifecta? A mate you find physically attractive. Two, one who you find Intelligent [enough] and one with who you share common morals, scruples and values - and no one will be a perfect match here. It goes without saying at least a few common interests. A no brainer for any Relationship to work. And lastly but most important, Chemistry in that very first minute F2F. NOT Love at first sight, but animal magnetism at first whiff.

It IS still possible at a ripe old age. It was 5 years and 4 months ago at a Fishmeet. I still remember the encounter like it was yesterday.

The first two are easy enough to find. Most people do and eventually fall in Love.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 215
How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 11/25/2015 12:06:24 PM

The way I see it, there's no discussing why a person is single. A person is single because either they haven't found someone yet to make them un-single, or they have no desire to be un-single. Simple.

Agreed, Maleman. It really is THAT simple.
 castlehillsmile
Joined: 11/4/2015
Msg: 216
How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 11/25/2015 12:09:54 PM


castlehillsmile
^^^ Henry, if this is true and it also applies to women, I am doomed.

Diana, you are exaggerating. We all know you were recently stood up for a third date (sorry about mentioning it again), but that means you had two previous dates. Yes, you’re having trouble getting a relationship, but not getting dates. Trying to put together a relationship is MUCH harder than just getting a date or getting lucky.


My bad Henry.
I thought you said a
proper date
 Nth_degree1111
Joined: 9/16/2009
Msg: 217
view profile
History
How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 11/25/2015 12:26:39 PM
I view this from a different angle, as in, what happened in the previous relationship that ended up leaving you single. I've asked women in the past what they contributed to the decline of a relationship, and many won't admit any fault, at all! They have put 100% blame on the partner. That is a big red flag to me, as it reveals an incredible lack of self-awareness, and a whole lot of delusion. It's no wonder that we are seeing so many pithy responses like "I haven't found the right one", or "I won't settle". Notice how these answers don't reveal any insight into any shortcomings the person might have? The subtext is "I'm awesome! If I'm single, it's someone else's fault". I'd love to see answers like "I'm a very emotionally needy person, and I've driven off some partners", or "I took them for granted, and it hurt them", or even "they took me for granted, and it hurt me". No honesty, just spin.
 castlehillsmile
Joined: 11/4/2015
Msg: 218
How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 11/25/2015 12:38:48 PM
Nth_degree1111 - fellow hedonist.

Most people, think they are perfect and it was the other person's fault that things went bad. Not gender specific.
The same as most people think they received less in the split of assets etc


If I am truly honest and stated why I am single and so many other women like me who I know the answers are:

1. We are not young and beautiful. Time and gravity effects are visible.
2. We are educated, often more than our ex's and our dates
3. We are employed and earn money, often more than our ex's and our dates
4. We are active, go out and do things.
5. We enjoy conversation and have opinions.
6. We are sensual and sexual and want our two major sexual organs stimulated as often as possible.
7. We want more than to be an alternative to a free prostitute and less than an unpaid housekeeper.




.....


6. = brain and skin
 ShowboatSupreme
Joined: 11/10/2015
Msg: 219
How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 11/25/2015 12:55:08 PM
+1, except, men's revision #7

7. We want more than to be an alternative entertainment director.
 oneday57
Joined: 10/17/2015
Msg: 220
How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 11/25/2015 12:59:28 PM
I tell all and without stops because I want no mix in what Im saying which some have problems with...in these days in any age group they thrive on drama....will never figure it out because its the last thing I want and yes I have drama...I HAVE KIDS!
 Nth_degree1111
Joined: 9/16/2009
Msg: 221
view profile
History
How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 11/25/2015 1:08:04 PM


Nth_degree1111 - fellow hedonist.

Most people, think they are perfect and it was the other person's fault that things went bad. Not gender specific.
The same as most people think they received less in the split of assets etc


If I am truly honest and stated why I am single and so many other women like me who I know the answers are:

1. We are not young and beautiful. Time and gravity effects are visible.
2. We are educated, often more than our ex's and our dates
3. We are employed and earn money, often more than our ex's and our dates
4. We are active, go out and do things.
5. We enjoy conversation and have opinions.
6. We are sensual and sexual and want our two major sexual organs stimulated as often as possible.
7. We want more than to be an alternative to a free prostitute and less than an unpaid housekeeper.


While these might all be legitimate factors, 2 through 6 still come across as "I'm too good for anyone". You've listed some attractive personal traits, but you use them to elevate yourself above others. Why is being educated the reason you are single? How is being active and doing things the reason your are single? Not trying to pick a fight, but this is exactly what I was getting at in my first post.
 Chromis1
Joined: 9/9/2015
Msg: 222
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History
 castlehillsmile
Joined: 11/4/2015
Msg: 223
How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 11/25/2015 1:22:36 PM
nthdegree... If you are a man, they can be attractive qualities.
If you are a woman they can be the 'kiss of death'.
Especially if you are not young and beautiful.

If you are a woman, beauty trumps everything else.
But even then it can not be enough to trump the others.

I submit the following women as examples.

Marilyn Monroe
Jennifer Aniston
Doris Day
Caley Cucco (She would have a lot better luck if she was really like her Big Bang Theory charachter)
Katy Perry

And many, many more.
 Nth_degree1111
Joined: 9/16/2009
Msg: 224
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History
How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 11/25/2015 1:23:24 PM
I don't care, but apparently many do, that is why they are responding. Therefore, I am commenting on the responses. I'm not going to discuss my situation either. It's enough to say that I am very self aware, and honest up front about issues when I meet someone. So, if someone is going to come on here give an answer, yes, honesty over spin would be nice. What's the point of coming on here and giving a disingenuous answer? In fact, these disingenuous answers actually answer the original question, "How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?", very well. Most people AREN'T very open to discussing it. Hence the spin!

Edit: Oh, you redacted your comment. I answered anyway.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 8/14/2015
Msg: 225
How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 11/25/2015 1:36:31 PM

1. We are not young and beautiful. Time and gravity effects are visible.
2. We are educated, often more than our ex's and our dates
3. We are employed and earn money, often more than our ex's and our dates
4. We are active, go out and do things.
5. We enjoy conversation and have opinions.
6. We are sensual and sexual and want our two major sexual organs stimulated as often as possible.
7. We want more than to be an alternative to a free prostitute and less than an unpaid housekeeper.


I can't relate to this at all...I tell you true.
I'm not so young, but I wouldn't go so far to say I was unattractive...I mean I'd do me. (hahahahaha!)
Lots of people are educated...doesn't necessarily make them more attractive. I know a lot of stupid
educated people.

Whenever I'm out being active and doing things...I see others doing the same...so that can't be it.

I enjoy conversations and I have opinions, but lots of people need to learn when to STFU. It took me a few
years...but it should be a life skill that everyone learns.(not meaning
anyone in particular...just an observation I've made)

And who the heck isn't interested in sex? Unless you're not and then I'm probably not interested in you
and that means who cares...we're not compatible

I've never considered myself a prostitute and I'd be surprised if anyone else saw me that way. If I've had
sex that didn't lead to something else, I'm likely just as culpable for whatever expectations weren't realized.

I'm single because I'm lazy.
I don't put any effort at all into meeting anyone.
I'd prefer to trip over someone or perhaps run them over with my car and then drag them back to my house
to recuperate.
 Chromis1
Joined: 9/9/2015
Msg: 226
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History
How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 11/25/2015 2:04:12 PM

So, if someone is going to come on here give an answer, yes, honesty over spin would be nice. What's the point of coming on here and giving a disingenuous answer?


Probably the same point as coming on here, without an answer, only to point out how "dishonest" everybody is being. Kinda insulting either way, don't you think?
 Chromis1
Joined: 9/9/2015
Msg: 227
view profile
History
How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 11/25/2015 2:28:36 PM

All the guys I would want to date are here in the forums and by definition, out of my geographical area.


Ah, but you think that because here, in the forums, you get the benefit of knowing everybody a little bit better. We write, we learn. This is what the dating process is all about, too, right? We meet, we talk (which is far, far better than writing) and we learn.

You think all the men you'd like to date are only here in the forums, but the reality is that nothing could be further from the truth. All around your area are men of integrity, honesty and virtue who you have yet to meet because, for whatever reason, they wrote a crappy profile. You've met only 13 folks. There are dozens and dozens more to come your way. Someday, when you least expect it ... BAM ... it'll hit you. We all know what Wayne Gretzky said, right? You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 228
How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 11/25/2015 7:52:32 PM
So Mike, how was your date? Mine was good... Will go out again on Friday. :) He has a duct taped Toyota... I have a duct taped Toyota... It must be meant to be.
 pinedrop
Joined: 7/29/2015
Msg: 229
How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 11/25/2015 9:09:35 PM
I'm not so young, but I wouldn't go so far to say I was unattractive...I mean I'd do me. (hahahahaha!)

If it is any consolation coming from me I would say you are definitely doable IMO

This thread has occupied my thoughts for several days. I wonder the same thing quite often and the best i can come up with is, "I dunno". I did not plan it this way but it is none the less my situation. I found myself widowed at 58 after a 35 year marriage. Within one year a women ten years my junior had moved in with me at my house. This lasted almost 4 years with the final straw being she wanting to move her un employed son in with me also. We never argued I was just not happy and feeling like I had sold out myself as her White Night. I helped her into her own apartment and moved on. I thought i would find happiness with some OLD. That was quite a learning experience and i found OLD more likely to leave me feeling frustrated than not. It really was just not much fun going to coffee dates and first, second and third dates. Seems like I was always seeking her approval until I realized it really did not matter much to me anymore.

I should confess that IRL I have a SO who lives in the area. We will never marry and in over a year I still do not sleep at her house and I always come home to my house. A very good friend with benefits. Perhaps this is why i almost never answer my viewers. I have my adult children with their families in the area and so I am not a lonely man, but when I look down the road into the future I see me single though it is not my real desire.

I think i am just to un motivated right now to do much to change my life. When the right one walks up and carries me away I hope to still be breathing.
 ShowboatSupreme
Joined: 11/10/2015
Msg: 230
How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 11/25/2015 9:13:16 PM
It's pretty sad when you need to budget romance in your quest to find love.

Getting lucky isn't very hard 4-5x a year with a 7-10.

YMMV
 Whatsamatterbaby
Joined: 11/7/2015
Msg: 231
How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 11/25/2015 9:19:47 PM

...I would say you are definitely doable IMO


Tip: That's not a compliment, Hon.
 HalftimeDad
Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 232
How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 11/25/2015 9:32:34 PM
Seriously?

But that's like the highest compliment a guy can give. Except for, "she's a real good sport." Every guy knows that means she's up for 3 ways.
 castlehillsmile
Joined: 11/4/2015
Msg: 233
How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 11/25/2015 9:36:51 PM
Pinedrop.... may I ask if you have your current SO arrangement and you are happy with that.
And you are here, but do not answer any of the messages a woman sends you.....
Especially when you have
If you would like to converse then please do.
on your profile

Why are you here?


And I agree a man saying a woman is 'doable' is NOT received as a compliment by a woman.
At least not this woman.

 pinedrop
Joined: 7/29/2015
Msg: 234
How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single?
Posted: 11/25/2015 10:52:30 PM
I didn't mean to offend anyone it was more of an affirmation of her self reflection, using her terms. I could just say she is pretty to me. Anyway moving on to a deeper quest. Why am I here? OLD that is.

I will say i wished i had discovered this forum much earlier than recently. I kind of did the best i could with good intentions but at times it is not enough. Things happen. At one time i actively dated largely OLD. I even bought a new red sports car that said old geyser all over it. I always responded politely to any attention. I think i went on a dating whirlwind. I flew to Las Vegas for a weekend coffee date one time. I dated a nine or ten BTW even after learning of her four divorces. As I said i have much to learn. Then one day i stopped and thought about it for awhile. I seemed to be spending a lot of time and a lot of money and not really getting any closer to meeting my match.

Just about that time IRL i gave my business card to a lady customer, she said, " I'll put it in my bra next to my heart and i said thanks for putting me right where i want to be. So that is what happened. Didn't even have to fly to vegas

I enjoy her company but as I said before she is also a hermit with a horse habit. She says i need a house frau whatever that is. So maybe that is it ?Maybe I am online looking for a house frau whatever that is. like i said already, I dunno.
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