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 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 13
Losing your virginity for physical vs. emotional attractionPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
It's ridiculous to plan on how to lose your virginity. Lose it when you feel it's the right time and circumstances and don't let anyone tell you how to go about it. It will be a lot more memorable if you just let it happen when it seems like the thing to do without being pressured.
 titansrealm
Joined: 3/2/2009
Msg: 15
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Losing your virginity for physical vs. emotional attraction
Posted: 4/9/2009 9:01:33 AM
i think u should lose it to a total stranger.no strings attached .i also travel hehe
 Paul_L
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 17
Losing your virginity for physical vs. emotional attraction
Posted: 4/9/2009 9:19:22 AM
Not to nit pick here, but wouldn't being a virgin already make her fresh meat?

OT: follow your heart girl!
 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 18
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Losing your virginity for physical vs. emotional attraction
Posted: 4/9/2009 12:28:44 PM
Wow, I feel so special heptone....


The thing men miss, and don't get, and until they have their first rectal exam is that they aren't having someone INSIDE their body...This does something different for women then for men, I would be willing to bet any guy that has had a prostate exam will tell ya it didn't feel like it lasted a few seconds, nor that it was quickly forgotten. Something they'd like to forget quickly but not quickly forgotten.

I am glad to see men that get it, and understand there is this change that CAN occur within the woman, and her feelings of bonding... Well dang, here is some science for ya, it is supposed to hormonally happen that way, men spread their seed, women find the mate best made to produce kids with... Hopefully with one that can stick around and provide for that child...

Nature didn't make birth control, mankind did, therefore if nature doesn't change its wiring for man kind, that isn't natures problem...

Once again OP, never let any person tell you what you should do, especially (kudos to windlover) the guy who wants to "relieve you" of that virginity burden...

Your first through 20,000 th time should always be up to you, and something you have decided it is what you are wanting to do and not doing just because it isn't a big deal to the person wanting it...

The reality is they obviously are wanting it for the moment, in option number one, but don't care what your feelings are going to be past that. When you are with someone you really truly care about you have a lot more control over feeling it was a good idea, then not... just a thought...
 grizzelda
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 19
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Losing your virginity for physical vs. emotional attraction
Posted: 4/9/2009 12:39:53 PM
OP. For me #2 is the best choice. As nexthyme has pointed out and many of the female poster have also stated. For many women, their first time IS a big deal. I know that there has to be trust for me to enjoy a sexual experience and I dont think that you could trust someone you didnt like. If they are coming from a taking position vs a giving position, I dont see how your first experience could be anything other than lacklustre. At the very least, if your first experience is with someone who cares about you and who you care about, the experience is going to be 10 times better than some random**** I would rather explore my sexuality with someone who is at the very least as heavily invested in the process as I am vs. someone taking advantage of the situation.
 thebigslim
Joined: 9/27/2005
Msg: 21
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Losing your virginity for physical vs. emotional attraction
Posted: 4/9/2009 3:37:05 PM
Definitely better to wait until there is that emotional connection. I did... took me longer than I had hoped for at 29 years of age but was worth it. Just know this, don't put too much emphasis on the act of sex, at least for me after wards all I can think of was ' I waited all these years for that? '. Although it is pretty nice after those first few times But seriously, wait till you have those feelings for another person and when YOU are ready. You'll know when the time is
 kpooks
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 23
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Losing your virginity for physical vs. emotional attraction
Posted: 4/9/2009 7:12:58 PM
Emotional first. But, of course, that physical attraction has to be there too...develop a really good friendship with someone you admire and find hot, wait until you think they feel the same way (and think of you as more than just a casual lay) then let things progress as they may.
 GeneralizingNow
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 25
Losing your virginity for physical vs. emotional attraction
Posted: 4/10/2009 10:49:19 AM
I'm a little late, here, but I am against the "wait until you have an emotional connection" crowd. Unless your goal is to marry the first guy you f*ck--which I HIGHLY suggest you not do. When you're a virgin, sex is this mystical thing (I sort of agree with your friend who says you hold it in too high an esteem). DOGS have sex--does it look "special" to you? I say get the first time over with, see what it's all about, THEN start looking to make an emotional connection with some guy--you can THEN base the connection on emotions rather than just being horny.

Some additional notes:
Sex is a LOT better when you both care about each other. A LOT BETTER.
Only have sex when you WANT to have sex, not as a reward for a guy, not because anyone else thinks you should. Do it ONLY if you feel fine with it--listen to your inner voice, it's usually right.
BE SAFE, do not be stupid about it. Sex is NOT worth getting a disease for the rest of your life.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 26
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Losing your virginity for physical vs. emotional attraction
Posted: 4/10/2009 10:52:06 AM
I think it's better to be with someone you are attracted to and to have a great first time. Just getting it over with is never a good idea but you don't have to be in love and walking down the aisle either...unless that is where your beliefs are.
 El_Mariachi
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 29
Losing your virginity for physical vs. emotional attraction
Posted: 6/2/2009 4:09:59 PM

1) Is it better to lose your virginity to someone you don't really care about, just to get the experience of sex and know what to expect for later on? (physical attraction)
Or 2) Is it better to wait until you've found someone you believe you're in love with to have sex with for the first time? (emotional attraction)


It depends on how patient you are. Honestly, if you prefer to wait til you're in love, do so.
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