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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Is there too much competition on dating web sites      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 charlie_girl_2
Joined: 1/2/2010
Msg: 35
Is there too much competition on dating web sitesPage 6 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
i get randoms add me to there faves for no reason all the time... and they dont contact me


NEWSFLASH :

The reason is that they're hoping YOU will contact THEM.

It's called the chickenshite method.


NOT TRUE! Not anymore with the "new" POF viewing method.
Did you know that now when you do a search, you will no longer see all in your search range? You will only see those profiles of those people who do NOT have restrictions that exclude you. Period!


Take the most used restriction: Age. Say someone has a preferred range and you have viewed them and are maybe, outside that range (up/down) by just a couple of years. You could add them as a favorite with hopes they will write to you. Many times they do.

But that method is NOT possible anymore. Why? Because you will no longer ever see those profiles. You are restricted in your search. How do I know this. I stumbled on it while checking POF from my cousins computer and when I did a search from her profile, there were so many profiles I had never seen before and sure enough, when I scrolled down, all had age restrictions. I couldn't write to them, but before, at least I could have added them as a favorite, giving them an opportunity to view me and make that decision --- for themselves. Particularly, if my real age was within their preferred age range anyway. But the way it is now, I am excluded from those profiles. We all are!

And people wonder why so many lie about their ages. This new way of doing a search only encourages that deception.

I know that many on here think that my funning with my age is silly, and not even humorous, but I have fun with it. And yes, of course, it has had its down-side. Now, not having the whole catalog to view has diminished my interest in even wanting to look at what's left. True, I could delete my profile and start over, but I'm not doing that. I shouldn't have to. But until the designers of this program go back to allowing us to be adult about who we want to view and who we don't, then, what is on my profile isn't going to make any difference.

So... OP, to answer your question. Yes. There is too much competition on this site but like most have already said, every thing is competitive and you just have to keep trying and follow much of the good advice that has been offered.

Good luck and have some fun!

 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 36
Is there too much competition on dating web sites
Posted: 6/22/2011 5:18:38 PM
If you are quality you compete with no one.
so work on that.
and forget the stats.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 37
Is there too much competition on dating web sites
Posted: 6/22/2011 6:20:23 PM

And people wonder why so many lie about their ages. This new way of doing a search only encourages that deception.

Why is that? If you could see those profiles, those restrictions would still prevent the person from sending a message and that's always been the case. Not being able to view the profile of a person you can't contact doesn't seem to add any additional incentive to lie. That doesn't stop them from viewing you unless they do what everyone has always been able to do with the search feature - select things like age ranges.

But until the designers of this program go back to allowing us to be adult about who we want to view and who we don't, then, what is on my profile isn't going to make any difference.

Well, there are a few poorly thought out features on pof, but that isn't one of them. If I were still dating, I'd be happy to not have my search results cluttered with people I can't send a message to.
 charlie_girl_2
Joined: 1/2/2010
Msg: 38
Is there too much competition on dating web sites
Posted: 6/23/2011 8:42:51 AM
Abelian,
I totally agree with your take on this and I always think your comments intelligent and articulate, but am disappointed that you disagree with my point about not being able to view profiles of interest.

I'm not concerned about those who aren't interested in me either, especially when there's no possibility that we'd ever be a match (I'm not desperate),
but one doesn't know that until they can actually view the profile of interest. Now that's no longer possible! But at least the way it was before, since they couldn't contact first, they could add the person of interest as a favorite in hopes they would respond. (Frankly, that has worked well for me.) Then that person knew who viewed their profile and photos, and who added them as a favorite. Then it was (still is), their choice to either write, or give it a pass. At least the person of interest had the opportunity to make that decision for themselves.

A good example of how great it (sometimes) worked before, was with a male friend of mine who was on POF last year. He had just turned 46 by a few days. He viewed a 38 year old woman on POF who had an age restriction of no one over 45. We are not talking years here, not even months, but just a few days; yet, he was couldn't contact her directly. He added her as a favorite. She did contact him and they have been in a relationship ever since. Had it been now, he would have never seen her profile.

What are we doing here if not to meet someone? Why make that more difficult?

Again, in answer to OP, it isn't such a fair opportunity anymore (imo), and to the other poster, adding a favorite in hopes they will write is not always, as he put it, chickenshite, but a good way to connect -- or not, if just given the opportunity. And for those of you who have found your S/O you don't much care one way or the other, anyway.


 barleyboy
Joined: 3/5/2011
Msg: 39
Is there too much competition on dating web sites
Posted: 6/23/2011 11:33:45 AM
Nope, you get what you pay for.

I do a lot of window shopping. What they want, I neither have nor can afford.

When money grows on trees. and I own an orchard.

But do I even want that?

Love pays the love bills.
 barleyboy
Joined: 3/5/2011
Msg: 40
Is there too much competition on dating web sites
Posted: 6/23/2011 11:36:14 AM
I want someone of equal caliber.

I do not exercise a lot , but I am not fat.

I look ok, so I do not expect a stunning woman to take note of me.

I am not rich, so I do not expect someone used to a lot of money to take interest in me.

I have a lot of love in my heart, but it is not a red carpet into my life.

I get what I pay for. Cash.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 41
Is there too much competition on dating web sites
Posted: 6/23/2011 11:46:21 AM
A good example of how great it (sometimes) worked before, was with a male friend of mine who was on POF last year. He had just turned 46 by a few days. He viewed a 38 year old woman on POF who had an age restriction of no one over 45. We are not talking years here, not even months, but just a few days; yet, he was couldn't contact her directly. He added her as a favorite. She did contact him and they have been in a relationship ever since. Had it been now, he would have never seen her profile.

I can see that. I never did much with the favorites thing. On the other hand, I probably did get a few dates with women who noticed I'd viewed her profile and contacted me even though I couldn't contact them. I know that I met several who did contact me first but whose restrictions would have prevented me from contacting them.

I guess that new feature ought to be an option rather fixed, since there does seem to be some merit to viewing profiles of people you can't contact. I overlooked the possibility of being contacted as a side effect of viewing someone. I sure hope that doesn't mean I'm getting senile.
 kari135
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 42
view profile
History
Is there too much competition on dating web sites
Posted: 11/10/2011 11:25:45 AM

NOT TRUE! Not anymore with the "new" POF viewing method.
Did you know that now when you do a search, you will no longer see all in your search range? You will only see those profiles of those people who do NOT have restrictions that exclude you. Period!

Take the most used restriction: Age. Say someone has a preferred range and you have viewed them and are maybe, outside that range (up/down) by just a couple of years. You could add them as a favorite with hopes they will write to you. Many times they do.

But that method is NOT possible anymore. Why? Because you will no longer ever see those profiles. You are restricted in your search. How do I know this. I stumbled on it while checking POF from my cousins computer and when I did a search from her profile, there were so many profiles I had never seen before and sure enough, when I scrolled down, all had age restrictions. I couldn't write to them, but before, at least I could have added them as a favorite, giving them an opportunity to view me and make that decision --- for themselves. Particularly, if my real age was within their preferred age range anyway. But the way it is now, I am excluded from those profiles. We all are!

Wrong. No matter how or which way I search, I get the most unsuitable ones imagineable. Most of them have limitations that do exclude me, and I have some preferences that exclude them - I really am not interested in anyone who would be too young for my daughter, for instance. They want devout whatevers, I'm not. They want non-smokers only, I'm an occasional smoker.

What's even more odd is that if I click on my matches, I get a message saying there aren't enough in my city, so it defaults to a state wide search. If I click on the 'My City' thing, half of them should show up in the matches. That's not to say they would be interested in meeting me, but they are non religious/other religions, smokers, drinkers (hopefully really only socially, as they say), have or like animals.... but none of them show up in any search I do. I have better luck just clicking on any of the interests I have listed.
 The_Standard_Model
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 43
view profile
History
Is there too much competition on dating web sites
Posted: 11/10/2011 8:52:08 PM
Is there too much cometition? Only if you bring too little to the table to comptete.
 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 44
Is there too much competition on dating web sites
Posted: 11/11/2011 12:03:41 AM
there's always gonna be someone younger, hotter, thinner etc. BUT if your soulmate is on here, don't matter if Barbie or Ken is around- you will be together
 cmt31
Joined: 11/4/2011
Msg: 45
Is there too much competition on dating web sites
Posted: 11/11/2011 3:15:49 PM
Competition is a good thing! It makes us all try harder.

Hey guys, instead of complaining about how many guys there are competing with you over that hot 25 year old blonde, I have 3 options for you. 1) Make your profile better 2) Try messaging that 32 year old red head 3) Realize that it's competitive for the ladies too and stop complaining.
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