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 ileft
Joined: 4/25/2008
Msg: 19
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Obsession: have you ever been obsessed with someone?Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)
There is some truth to your theroy for me anyway. I would call it more infatuation than obsession. It's always when you feel really into the person and they show you less intrest than they did when you first started dating. It's difficult to understand or sometimes control your feelings you find yourself wanting to call them but you know you shouldn't, things like that.
 exiss
Joined: 8/19/2007
Msg: 20
Obsession: have you ever been obsessed with someone?
Posted: 4/19/2009 6:30:47 AM
Once, several years ago. The feelings were mutual tho. It was obsessive in that all our thought were of the other person, and when we were together we couldn't get enough of each other.... in all respects, not just in bed. Unfortunatly, I think when things burn with such intensity, they also tend to burn out rather quickly. For whatever reason, I think that circumstances tend to work against those type of relationships, or perhaps circumstances that favor that kind of intensity don't favor their longevity.
 scorpiomover
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 21
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Obsession: have you ever been obsessed with someone?
Posted: 4/19/2009 6:33:05 AM
Yes, and it wasn't fun. I just ended up thinking about her, all the time, switching between worrying about her or dreaming about her, never getting anything done, and just ruining my health. In the end, the obsessiveness drove her away.

I have never been dating someone I was "in love" with. But I have loved, and have been loved. As someone once put it to me, obsession is like an extreme of desire. It feels real, but it's too extreme to be healthy. Real love is calm and patient. It's not nearly as roller-coaster exciting as obsession. But real love is always there, and it always makes you feel good afterwards.

It's like the difference between a really flash, really expensive jewel-encrusted coat, and an old leather jacket that you've worn for years. The jewel-encrusted coat looks great to wear. But you only wear it for special occasions, and you worry all the time that someone will steal it. That old leather jacket may look a bit beat up, but you'd wear it anywhere with pride, and never part with it. What sort of relationship do you want, one that only exists on special occasions, and that you worry about all the time it's there, or one that is constantly with you, maybe not perfect, but it makes you feel warm and cosy, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year, for decades?
 treselle
Joined: 6/16/2005
Msg: 23
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Obsession: have you ever been obsessed with someone?
Posted: 4/19/2009 7:00:22 AM
I recommend Bitter Moon the movie and another movie with young Betty Davies, I am not sure about the name. Has Obsession in it. These are great examples about men getting obsessed with the objects of their desire.
 Dumpling-Girl
Joined: 7/20/2005
Msg: 27
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Obsession: have you ever been obsessed with someone?
Posted: 4/19/2009 8:16:42 AM
google the term "limerence" coined by a psychologist a few decades back. It's exactly what you've noticed, OP
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 29
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Obsession: have you ever been obsessed with someone?
Posted: 4/19/2009 3:32:00 PM

I've had pretty strong crushes on people in the past, but I don't know if that counts as "obsession".

....

I don't really like "obsessing" over someone I like, because if it goes on for too long, it just gets annoying and depressing. Especially if I know there's no potential with the person I'm crushing on. I used to dwell on crushes for far too long, and now, I try to get them out of my system so that I don't dwell on something that's a waste of time.


Happened a couple times in this long and storied life.
First time was in University, she came walking into vert.zoo and I was smitten. We paired up as lab partners and hung together a bit but her heart was set on another. Eventually they married, broke my heart, and less than a decade later divorced.

The last time was a lady at church. Absolutely stunning lady - well, at least to me. But this time I was not in a place / space to slake that desire. There was something about her that triggered a reaction in me that was nerve racking. All it would take was a slight glance at her and my heart rate would climb, and she would be my sole focus for a brief moment in time. I knew when she walked in to church even without seeing her. It was unreal. What made it worse was that she was everywhere: I go to Costco for stuff and there she was, I'd go to the county fair and there she was, the kicker was that when the gym I went to located in a new building, ground floor, the following year when the upstairs rented out she was one of the new tenants and our paths would periodically cross. Unreal.

What I would like in my life is to have a relationship with a woman that had that kind of energy in it. If it is real I can hardly imagine the fireworks.

TK
 alittledrummergirl
Joined: 5/21/2017
Msg: 30
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Obsession: have you ever been obsessed with someone?
Posted: 9/26/2017 1:11:28 PM
When we're drawn to somebody to the extent that it preoccupies us constantly, it means that they have character traits we have within ourselves but have not realized them.
The admiration of another person reflects an untapped quality in our own nature.
Usually the object of our obsession will be a temporary influence of some sort. Maybe it's a good friend, a teacher, or even a celebrity. There's something about that individual pressing a button to 'activate' a talent, a consciousness .. whatever. |

Be grateful that you were blessed to experience such a revelation. It means it's time for you to grow into a new understanding of yourself and of others.

Even if your 'muse' doesn't stay in your life, consider it a privilege to have them touch your life in such a beautiful way.
Now go, and touch someone else's life.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 31
Obsession: have you ever been obsessed with someone?
Posted: 9/26/2017 2:03:28 PM
Yes, haha. I am frequently obsessed with people, often dudes I have no chance with. I'm aware I have issues, lol.

This song speaks to me:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hIs5StN8J-0
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 32
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Obsession: have you ever been obsessed with someone?
Posted: 9/26/2017 3:00:57 PM
"When we're drawn to somebody to the extent that it preoccupies us constantly, it means that they have character traits we have within ourselves but have not realized them. "

I so disagree.
 imanorangetiger
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 33
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Obsession: have you ever been obsessed with someone?
Posted: 9/26/2017 5:13:42 PM
http://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Confusing-Love-With-Obsession/John-D-Moore/9781592853564
 imanorangetiger
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 35
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Obsession: have you ever been obsessed with someone?
Posted: 10/1/2017 2:26:31 AM
Obsessive relationships are a form of addiction. I think Jelly points out an obvious sign: "how will I cope without this?", which can be applied to any addiction, whether it's conscious or not. Addictions cut through complications like a knife, or at least give the impression to the sufferer that they do. "All my problems will go away if I can keep doing this". A sufferer may well get a shot of dopamine on their trip on their superhighway to the comfort zone, but those complications are more than likely to remain just like accidents and traffic jams.

Jelly gets around that by occupying herself with other things at the same time. So instead of staying on the superhighway constantly, and being at the mercy of the possibility of getting stuck in a standstill, she knows where the scenic routes are and where she can get on and off, whenever she fancies a quick dash.

This is sound neuroscience. Doing the same things and thinking the same thoughts connects the same neural pathways and reinforces the myelin around them, making it more difficult to switch patterns once they're there.
 IBup4it
Joined: 6/15/2017
Msg: 36
Obsession: have you ever been obsessed with someone?
Posted: 10/1/2017 6:58:04 AM
No I never obsessed over anyone and you're probably not either, you can exhibit obsession like behaviour but for a person to be actually obsessed with someone, they would think about them night and day nothing but them. It's not an addiction although have similarities the root of it is different.

Addiction has a sense of reward from what someone does the feel gratification, satisfaction when they get it. Obsession never feel that they will always think, I have to do it and nothing else will matter. If they stop doing it something bad will happen, there is never any pleasure or feeling of satisfaction.
 from site to sight
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 37
Obsession: have you ever been obsessed with someone?
Posted: 10/1/2017 8:44:25 AM
In the world of cyber communication, the term Obsession takes on a new meaning. There are a lot of people who get or expect multiple texts daily who do not consider it being obsessive-from good morning texts to good night texts, and a zillion texts throughout the day. But if a person spends all day phoning someone from morning until night, every few hours, it probably would be considered obsessive. Personally, I don't want a zillion texts every day throughout the day-which are usually meaningless messages anyways. If someone has something to say to me, call or meet in person. That shows an effort to communicate, instead of texting mindless gobbledygook just for the sake of texting.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 38
Obsession: have you ever been obsessed with someone?
Posted: 10/1/2017 9:31:03 AM
Getting to know you...
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 39
Obsession: have you ever been obsessed with someone?
Posted: 10/1/2017 6:33:07 PM

In the world of cyber communication, the term Obsession takes on a new meaning. There are a lot of people who get or expect multiple texts daily who do not consider it being obsessive-from good morning texts to good night texts, and a zillion texts throughout the day. But if a person spends all day phoning someone from morning until night, every few hours, it probably would be considered obsessive. Personally, I don't want a zillion texts every day throughout the day-which are usually meaningless messages anyways.


This is what I call cyber leashing, and I have experienced far too many women in recent years who expect all the aforementioned if you're going to become involved with them.

F*ck that, f*ck that, and did I mention f*ck that??

Just in case I didn't.....f*ck that.
 imanorangetiger
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 40
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Obsession: have you ever been obsessed with someone?
Posted: 10/2/2017 4:44:28 AM

In the world of cyber communication, the term Obsession takes on a new meaning. There are a lot of people who get or expect multiple texts daily who do not consider it being obsessive-from good morning texts to good night texts, and a zillion texts throughout the day. But if a person spends all day phoning someone from morning until night, every few hours, it probably would be considered obsessive. Personally, I don't want a zillion texts every day throughout the day-which are usually meaningless messages anyways. If someone has something to say to me, call or meet in person. That shows an effort to communicate, instead of texting mindless gobbledygook just for the sake of texting.


If people's expectations coincide, the obsession doesn't exist, at least from the inside. From the outside, it may be very evident however. By then, it may become codependency.

Texting can at least be ignored. Calls are more difficult unless you switch your phone off, thereby withholding all callers, or block the number.
 RoxyMoronic
Joined: 6/7/2016
Msg: 41
Obsession: have you ever been obsessed with someone?
Posted: 10/2/2017 11:28:44 AM
I never jump on texts or calls, I'm quite selfish with my time in that respect.
If I'm needed/emergency then text and I will respond but otherwise, it might take me hours.

I'm a bit obsessive at times.....like with work, goals, foods.....I've had the beetroot year, the sweetcorn year, this ones the year of the tomato, I've eaten tons of them, with everything.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 42
Obsession: the next worst cologne after Desperation
Posted: 10/2/2017 3:46:48 PM
"I've eaten tons of tomatoes"

>>when we used to garden, we'd pickle green tomatoes. Now you make me wish I had a jar. Must be dinner time. cherry tomatoes plucked from the vine weren't bad, either.

Damn, Tom Petty just passed? What a day today.
 PlutoLover68
Joined: 7/28/2016
Msg: 43
Obsession: the next worst cologne after Desperation
Posted: 10/2/2017 4:18:44 PM
GTO, Mr Petty has not officially passed. He has been taken of life support, but no one has confirmed that he has actually passed. But, a sad day indeed.
 imanorangetiger
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 44
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Obsession: the next worst cologne after Desperation
Posted: 10/3/2017 3:10:17 AM
He has now, unfortunately.



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